Color-Blind

by Daya Daniels

  I lifted a hand in good-bye, still wiping my tears and headed back towards the SUV where Davi was waiting for me.

  Violet

  A few days had passed. I’d spent more time in the studio sculpting the face of my non-existent boyfriend, who I debated reporting as a missing person.

  I awoke in the morning, staring out my window at the view of the Willamette River, wrapping my arms around myself. I exhaled when I thought about everything on my ‘to do’ list prescribed by Dr. Randall for patients that had recently got their sight back and learning how to drive was at the top of my priorities. I couldn’t wait!

  Sitting up in bed, I placed my feet on the floor and headed to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I stared in the mirror at myself and although I was sad, I forced a smile.

  I’d been given a second chance and I felt something I hadn’t felt in ages or maybe ever.

  Independent. Hopeful. Secure.

  I shrugged into a fluffy bath robe and made my way to the kitchen, still wiping the sleep from my eyes. I froze in place at the outline of the woman opening my curtains. She spun around and strode across the room towards me with a smile on her face.

  “Brooke.” I said breathlessly right before she pulled me into a hug.

  I’d recognized her from all the photographs I’d been going through over the past few weeks. It was like I’d lived this entire life I didn’t know about and now I was given the chance to catch up.

  Brooke was medium-height like me with thick curly brown hair cut in a style to her shoulders and she had the kindest brown eyes, like I knew she would.

  She looked me over and gave me another smile. She was attractive and her face was kind. She was kind.

  “I thought you said you were going to be here in a few weeks.” I said.

  “Well, I was but I couldn’t resist coming here earlier to see you, Vi. I just still can’t believe all of this is real.” She spun me around a few times getting a good look at me. “I’m glad you’ve gotten the chance to take a peek at those gorgeous eyes of yours the men have been swooning over all these years.”

  I smiled unable to hide my blushing.

  She took my hand and led me over to the center island grabbing her cup of tea and nudging her chin in the direction of the coffee she’d already prepared for me, as she always did. We were going through the motions, only I wasn’t the blind girl anymore who couldn’t find her own shoes. I was fully capable of taking care of myself and that feeling was so empowering. So empowering.

  I took a seat in one of the stools and sipped from the cup meeting her eyes again. “Thank you for everything, Brooke.” I whispered.

  Her hand ran down my arm lovingly. “I’ve been such a pain.” I laughed, while tears slipped from my eyes.

  “It’s okay, Violet. I’m so used to you.” She laughed, giving me a sympathetic look. “I don’t usually take anything you do to heart, but the things as of lately I guess I did and I felt bad about that.”

  “No, please don’t make excuses for me.” I sniffled.

  “I’ve been pissed at you then if you want the truth.” Brooke fiddled with her fingers for a moment. “I know it hasn’t been easy being you, Violet since we were little girls. I’ve watched you overcome struggles that some of the most capable people in the world probably never could. Your strength is what makes you, you.”

  “I don’t know why I’m this way.”

  “We all have our reasons, Violet. We’re all a certain way because of something and for some reason – whether it be good or bad. We all have a story that other people either don’t know or don’t understand that makes us who we are.” She whispered.

  I exhaled and smiled, while she ran her fingers through my hair the way she always did.

  “I’m pregnant.” She blurted out.

  I covered my mouth with my hands. “Oh, my God.”

  “Yeah.” She laughed. “I’m three months pregnant.”

  “Congratulations.” I said with tears in my eyes, hoping that one day I could say the same words to her.

  Although, I’d always wanted to, I hadn’t ever considered having children because of all the assistance I’d need but now it was different. Everything was different.

  “I want you to be the godmother.”

  “Of course. Of course.” I told her unable to contain my silly smile.

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t agree.” She smiled.

  “No, Brookie. I’d love to.”

  She cracked up laughing when I called her Brookie and I followed right behind.

  “Have you heard from Elijah?” She asked.

  “Nope.” I said swirling my finger around the edge of my cup.

  “You will, Vi. Please don’t worry.”

  “I’ve given up calling. He doesn’t answer, so I just don’t try anymore.”

  “I’m sorry, Vi.”

  I shrugged.

  “You don’t really mean that.” She whispered at my gesture.

  “I don’t but I don’t know what else to do aside from stalking him.”

  She exhaled. “You must tell me about Mrs. Teger. Please do not spare any

  details."

  I sighed and stood to reheat both of our cups in the microwaves. “Well...” I went on.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Elijah

  Shutting the front door behind me, I tossed my keys on the countertop, taking in that it was after one in the morning. It was freezing out and although it was warm inside it felt even colder in this empty house. I stared up at the white full moon through the floor-to-ceiling windows, taking in the spectacular view of the light as it hit the beach in the distance, casting the ocean silver in places.

  I slipped off my jacket and kicked off my boots, dragging my fingers through my hair. I allowed a loud exhale to leave my lungs and my chest expanded with it, expelling nearly every bit of tension that had come from the day.

  I’d spent the last few weeks with patients and keeping an eye on Melissa who was doing much better.

  Yanking open the fridge, I pulled out a beer and popped the top. I consumed nearly all of it in one gulp and stood there in a daze, thinking.

  I hadn’t seen Violet since I’d last visited her in the hospital a month ago. I also hadn’t called her back and I was never at home when she’d come by here the few times that she had.

  I was an asshole. A. Super. Asshole.

  The voice messages that she’d left me were heartbreaking but I couldn’t bring myself to see her no matter how much I tried. And I knew if I called her she’d be here in a flash but I wasn’t ready.

  I massaged my temples with my fingers unable to understand how I ended up in this predicament. I was a doctor. This was what I did!

  I was a coward. I knew I wasn’t handling this well but how could I explain?

  I’m breaking up with you because I’m terrified you’ll think I’m hideous. That every time I appear in front of you, you’ll jump because you’re startled by my appearance. That you won’t be able to look at me when I make love to you. That you’ll think you’re in a nightmare every time you wake up next to me.

  Fuck.

  If you can’t fix yourself, how can you fix other people?

  I grabbed another beer from the fridge, downing it as fast as I did the first one. I removed my shirt and undid the buckle of my jeans.

  Standing, I listened to the low hum of the Subzero in the kitchen and slumped over the counter.

  I missed her - the beautiful monster. All my thoughts were saturated with Violet during waking hours and my dreams just the same. She was my heartbeat. My soul. My new reason to keep going.

  And I fucking missed her.

  Violet

  I jerked back, covering my mouth with my hand stunned when the bottle of liquid the dark shadow held in his hand crashed against the wall with a large pop. The glass splintered everywhere before he hung his head low for a moment.

  My hair whipped around in the cold wind, while my fingers desperately clung to
the window sill peeking inside. He made no effort to clean up, only disappeared from my sight. I took a few more steps until I was just outside the door and searched the flowerpot for a key, which I quickly found.

  I scrambled to put it into the lock and twisted. It clicked open and as soon as I stepped inside the warmth of the house and its fresh linen scent that I missed so much surrounded me. I shut the door, bolting it behind me and tip-toed past the broken glass and liquid that was there, leaving the far-right side of the state-of-the-art kitchen a mess.

  A bare balsam fir stood in a corner of the den. I smiled at the sight of it, surprised Elijah had gotten it after I convinced him to really celebrate Christmas this year. I told him it was my wish to decorate our first Christmas tree together.

  Dragging my fingers along the wall, I peeked into the first door that had to be Dylan’s bedroom, which was largely empty, except for a few boxes that sat in the middle of the floor.

  I headed farther down the wide hallway, remembering the steps I would’ve taken when I had no sight and found the bedroom. Soft music plays from the stereo and I recognized the song as Amber Run’s 5AM. I approached cautiously as if walking through a minefield while my heart pounded maniacally in my chest.

  Elijah stood with his back towards me. He’s shirtless wearing a pair of pajamas pants that hang off his waist. His powerful arms are spread out, accentuating every single muscle in his back and his hands are plastered against the glass of the large window under the moonlight, staring out at the beach in the distance.

  This man looks beautiful, like a sculpture. He’s tall and big and his wavy dark hair is thick and falls around his ears and neck just slightly.

  He doesn’t know I’m here. Does he even want me here? What if he kicks me out?

  I stood in the doorway taking shallow breaths. I want to speak but all the words I’ve mustered up seemed to die in my throat each time my lips parted. I padded across the wooden floors quietly.

  His head jerked up but he doesn’t spin around. He only drops his head lower. “That fucking, Asher.” He mumbled with a laugh.

  I reached out and smoothed my hand over the skin on his back, inhaling the natural scent of his skin that I’d missed so much over the time we’ve been apart.

  He exhaled, his skin shivering where my hand had just left. He laughed a little, bobbing his head when I eased up and beneath his right arm, taking in how small I was compared to the size of him. He kept his eyes shut while a pained expression colored his face.

  This was him. The man I’d known these past few months. The body that made love to me each night.

  “Elijah.” I whispered, palming his face with my hand, encouraging him to look at me. “I’m sorry. I had to see you. Why are you avoiding me?” Instantly, tears began to fall that I had no control over.

  I’d so desperately wanted this moment. I’d waited for it and here I was and it felt like all he wanted to do was to push me away.

  “I’m sorry.” He whispered over and over. “Violet, I’m really sorry.”

  Thick black brows that are crushed together, sat atop his deep-set eyes. A strong nose, high cheek bones and supple lips I’d grown so used to kissing are on the handsome face in front of me. He’s fucking gorgeous. I dipped and weaved around him, forcing him to look at me, while his right hand came to settle on my lower back holding me close to him.

  I searched his face and the scar there with my eyes like an explorer in a strange land. Touching it with my fingers as though it was foreign matter. Feeling it as though I was blind.

  The deep lines in his skin were intricate and precise and looked almost as if they’d been drawn there by an artist. He was beautifully marred, left with a carefully crafted marking on his porcelain skin that was otherwise perfect. His scars a testament to all the pain he’d suffered and tears he’d shed.

  I skittered my fingers over his skin, admiring him and then ran them through his inky black hair. “You’re beautiful.” I whispered kissing his lips.

  His watery eyes opened, revealing the most hypnotizing blue that left me speechless, stumbling for my words. They were sapphires, sparkling beneath the moonlight. He blinked slowly, allowing me to admire the thick dark lashes that rimmed his eyes and gave me a brilliant smile, showing all his perfect white teeth but it was shy and unsure but no less handsome.

  “You’re beautiful, Elijah.” I said before stealing his mouth again with my own. “I love you. I need you. Don’t ever do this bullshit to me again.” I moaned against his lips, desperate to have them on me.

  He pulled off my shirt and I scrambled out of my jeans still locked in a kiss with his lips, tasting the alcohol that lingered on his tongue. I ran my fingers over his chiseled abs in complete awe of his incredible body and his blue eyes that were pinning me under the darkness.

  His hands slid beneath my ass and lifted me from the floor, planting me against the glass. I ran my fingers through his hair, admiring him, accepting him, knowing my life would never be the same without him.

  He held me there, gazing into my eyes while the howling winds outside whipped around the house. His hands dragged up my thighs and my mouth opened, when his flesh parted my own so fucking slowly that it was agony, wrenching a choked sound from me.

  His eyes bore into mine and his breaths puffed against my lips. The mixture of the coolness of the glass at my back and the heat emanating from his body had me reeling. I wrapped my arms around his neck, when he dipped down into an almost-squat, vaulting the weight of me up towards the ceiling with each powerful and desperate stroke that had me crying out his name.

  He grunted with each stroke, tunneling into me hard and deep as he fucked me, stealing my breath away.

  I loved this man so much.

  His hands wrapped in my hair, wrenching my head back as he rained kisses along the line of my neck and collar bone, while he kept fucking me.

  I bit my lip and stared into his eyes taking in the intensity in them. His face twisted into the most euphoric expression and sweat dribbled down his temples and along his neck. Each defined muscle in his chest and arms flexed the tighter he held me.

  Powerful. Incredible. Insatiable.

  My tight, wet inner muscles squeezed and massaged his length and my thighs quivered wildly as I came in his grip, covered in sweat and panting close to collapsing.

  “Good girl.” He murmured against my forehead, still tunneling into me slow.

  A low keening sound left my throat while I held onto his powerful shoulders and I knew in no matter of time, I’d be coming again soon.

  This man owned me – nothing else mattered.

  Elijah

  Violet sat at the kitchen table across from me in the morning, clutching her cup of coffee like she was afraid I’d take it away from her. She lifted an envelope from her lap and slid it across the table towards me.

  I gave her a blank stare, meeting her hazel eyes.

  “I went to see my mother when I got out of the hospital. I was going to tell you but I hadn’t gotten around to it.”

  I sighed, reading her eyes and I knew she’d likely bolted from the hospital in typical Violet Sawyer-style.

  “Can you read it to me please? It’s from my mother, Victoria Teger.”

  “Of course.” I said slitting the envelope open and unfolding the handwritten letter inside.

  “Goddamn it.” I mumbled, scanning the words quickly.

  “What is it?” She sat forward. “Please tell me what it says.”

  I took a deep breath and began to read. “Dear Violet, I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time. The last time I tried you were fifteen years old.

  “I sent a card and a gift for every birthday you’ve had since you were five years old. I hope you got them but for some reason, I doubt you did. The Christmas gifts and cards I sent were always returned. I wasn’t allowed to call”.

  Violet’s eyes go wide and tears spilled from her eyes. I continued reading the letter.

  “James told me to stay a
way, so I did. He told me that you had enough to worry about, dealing with being blind in itself.

  “I’m sorry I left the hospital that day, twenty-nine years ago. I knew after so much time had passed I could never make it up to you. It was the biggest regret of my life, leaving you there. You were my daughter. I should’ve been there for you, instead I chose the easy way out.

  “I’m a big fan of your work. I’ve even purchased a few of your paintings. I’ve seen every one of your shows. Your sisters are fans of your work too. I’ve never hidden that you exist from them.”

  Violet sobbed.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t open the door that day when you came to my house. I don’t have any excuse, other than I was afraid. I knew you didn’t know the truth and I dreaded having to be the one to tell you.”

  I reached across the table and squeezed her hand.

  “James did a good job raising you on his own and I commend him for that but please believe me when I tell you, I tried.

  “Maybe I should’ve tried harder but I didn’t want to put any more stress on your father than he was already dealing with by taking him to court. I’d already signed my parental rights away when you were born. I didn’t have a leg to stand on.”

  I let out a deep breath.

  “I knew after the day you showed up on my doorstep that I had to tell you the truth. I didn’t want it to destroy your relationship with James but you needed to know what really happened. He kept you from me. After a while, I stayed away because I thought it made life easier for everyone.

  “I know it’s no consolation but I’m sorry I haven’t been there all those years ago and I know you’re angry.

  “I’d like to get to know you if it isn’t too late. Hopefully, you’ll give me the chance. Love, your mother Victoria.”

  I folded the letter closed and slid around the table, pulling Violet into my chest.

  “She left her contact information on the bottom.” I whispered, raining kisses to her cheek and forehead. “If you want to call her.”

  “Why would he do this?”