Little Conversations

by Matilde, Sibylla

  “See that kind of hook-ish shape in the stars?” Devin asked in a soft, husky whisper. “Right there. Just above the horizon kind of curving into the Milky Way? That’s Scorpio. Those four stars that are sort of in a square, that’s the curve of his tail. As autumn fades into winter, he’ll fall below the horizon and, at the other end of the Milky Way, you’ll be able to see Orion the Hunter. He hangs out near Taurus. He’s my favorite…”

  She rested her head on her hands as a dreamlike look crossed her features. Her gaze remained locked on the sky. Ronin smiled at her words and brushed a lock of damp hair away from her face.

  “Tell me about him,” he murmured, happy to just hear her voice softly rambling on in the dark.

  “Orion was this real badass who can be seen in the winter sky to the southeast with his bow and hunting dogs. He’s easy to find because of his belt of three really bright stars all in a row. The story generally describes him as this gigantic, studly guy who was really popular with the ladies. One of Zeus’ daughters, Artemis, who was the goddess of hunting, kinda had the hots for him. But, since she was a goddess and, therefore, a virgin divinity, she couldn’t go there. But they hung out a lot… went hunting.”

  “Poor Orion. I kinda feel for the guy.”

  “Ha ha, fuck you,” Devin said dryly, pursing her lips at him before she looked back out at the night and continued. “So, anyway, according to my favorite version of the story, he was off hunting with her and her mom, Leto. Now, when I say he was a badass, I mean he was all epically badass, and was revered by people everywhere.” Devin’s voice softly filled the darkness in the room, slowly telling her tale. Ronin just listened as he softly caressed her hip, pressing her even more tightly against him.

  “But,” Devin continued languidly, “he was just a bit on the cocky side. He started spouting off to Artemis and Leto, going on about how he could kill every beast on earth.” Devin shifted again to her other side, facing him in the starlit night. Ronin’s hand tenderly plotted a small pattern up and down her arm. “Well, the Earth Mother heard this and got all kinds of pissed. So, she sent a huge scorpion to kick his ass. Somehow, Scorpio ended up going after Artemis, and Orion saved her. He and Scorpio got into this big nasty fight, and eventually Orion was stung by Scorpio and died. Zeus threw Scorpio up into the sky among the stars to warn men not to be too full of themselves. But Artemis and Leto begged Zeus to honor Orion, too, telling him how he saved Zeus’ own daughter. Zeus felt kinda bad when he heard that, so he put Orion in the stars too, but far away from Scorpio so they couldn’t fight anymore. Now, when Orion rises, Scorpio sets. They are never in the sky at the same time, so they can’t fight anymore.”

  By the time she had finished, Ronin was softly smiling at her descriptions. “I think that is the best story I’ve ever heard.”

  “I know, right?” Devin smiled back drowsily. “It’s kind of romantic with unrequited love. A big, strong, sexy hero. A fight to the death.” She sighed wistfully. Slowly and thoughtfully, she traced his strong jaw with her fingertip. “You’d make a good Orion,” she murmured absentmindedly.

  Ronin raised an eyebrow, and, realizing that she’d said that out loud, she buried her face in his shoulder.

  “Umm… shit…” she whispered. “It’s getting pretty late and I have to work tomorrow. I should probably, um… yeah.”

  Neither of them spoke after that, both lost in their own thoughts. Devin contemplated the need to work on her verbal filter, rather mortified by her offhanded Orion comment. But, honestly, Ronin was exactly how she pictured Orion when she was a little girl. Big and stoic, muscular with a strong jaw, a fierce build. A mighty Greek hero.

  Devin’s consciousness finally began to fade with the soft touch of Ronin’s fingers running along her shoulder and the steady sound of his breathing in her ear as it settled into a soft pattern. Periodically, he would nuzzle into her hair or his arm would squeeze her gently against him. As her eyes drifted closed and sleep overcame her, she saw Ronin in the stars. A warrior. A saint. A savior.

  Chapter 10 – Late Night Visit

  Scooping a little vanilla Häagen-Dazs into a bowl, Devin sprinkled it liberally with Cocoa Krispies and sliced strawberries. The menu screen for Casablanca continued to replay while the fudge sauce warmed in the microwave.

  Comfort food and a movie where everyone is nice to each other. Even the Nazi Major Strasser and freedom-fighter Victor Laszlo, who so obviously despised each other, were polite and cordial. And Ilsa always looked so perfect; even her tears were like diamonds as they sparkled down her cheeks. If only life were a classic black and white film.

  Devin grabbed a cuddly throw from the loveseat and hit play while taking a big bite of her ice cream. She really should be sleeping, but Melanie was in town tonight. Mel as Jake referred to her these days. Blech! They were probably wrapping it up at a party before going off to be alone and—Ugh! So not going there.

  A knock sounded at Devin’s front door, startling her. Nobody used her front door. Devin didn’t have a key for the front, so she always used the back door, keeping the front locked at all times. Few people—pretty much just Joanie and Amy—ever even came over at all, and they used her back door. It was a small town, yes, but she was also a vulnerable young woman who lived alone.

  Oh God! What if it was the creepy neighbor who just moved into the other side of the duplex!

  Devin wished she had closed the front curtains along the large windows of her living room. In the full darkness of near midnight, whoever was at the door must have seen her in there.

  “Just a sec,” she called as she rifled through her backpack for a can of bear spray. Better safe than sorry. She pulled the clip and held the bottle behind her back in her left hand as she opened the door as far as the chain would allow. Ronin’s hazel eyes peeked through the crack at her.

  “Ronin?” she gasped. “What are you doing here?”

  “Not sure,” he responded. A slightly glassy, intoxicated light glimmered in his eyes.

  “Jeez, you’re a wreck. You didn’t drive here, did you?”

  Waving his hand towards her driveway in an exaggerated motion, Ronin took a deep breath and shook his head. “Joe dropped me off. Lost my keys, can’t get into my house.” He eyed the chain still holding the door closed. “Um… can I come in?”

  “Oh, shit. Yeah, sorry.”

  Devin closed the door enough to loosen the chain and took a step back as she swung it open. Ronin took a couple uncoordinated steps, stopping to lean against the entryway wall to face her. His eyes dropped to the red container in her hand.

  “Bear spray? Who’d you think was out there?”

  “Heck if I know! I wanted to be prepared in case it was some creepy guy or Sasquatch or something.” Devin returned the safety to the bear spray and tucked it away in her backpack. Turning back to Ronin, she saw him weave slightly. “Ronin, you’re a bit unsteady,” she giggled. “You should probably sit down.” She placed a hand under his arm, leading him to the couch where the movie continued playing, and gave a gentle nudge to urge him to sit.

  “Whatcha got there?” he asked, motioning to her bowl on the coffee table.

  “Ice cream. My Devin special. Want some?”

  Ronin nodded with an awfully cute, uncharacteristically boyish smile, probably due to his inebriated state, and Devin completely melted her inside. She curled up next to him and offered him a spoonful.

  “Dang, that’s some good stuff, and I don’t really even like ice cream,” Ronin mumbled.

  They continued to take bites of Devin’s special dessert as the focus switched to Casablanca. Victor Laszlo was leading the musicians in a round of Les Marseilles. Devin’s eyes watered slightly and goosebumps rose on her flesh at the emotion this part evoked in her. She had seen this movie more times than she could count, and it always choked her up—the desperation, the fear, the struggle to endure and survive.

  “You’re cryin’,” Ronin noted.

  Devin smiled a little through he
r watery eyes. “This part always kind of gets me.”

  Ronin grinned back. “That’s cute.” He pulled her more tightly to his side. His fingertips absent-mindedly stroked the hair falling down her back as she rested her head on his shoulder. She breathed in deeply, eliciting a firm squeeze from Ronin’s arm around her.

  Time went by, Sam played it again, Rick and Ilsa expressed their love, and the plane flew away, leaving Bogie strolling into the fog with Captain Renault speaking of a beautiful friendship. Devin looked over to gauge Ronin’s thoughts on one of her favorite movies ever, only to see that he had essentially melted into the couch… fast asleep. She studied him closely. His solid jaw was relaxed. His lashes fanned out on his cheekbones. He’d taken his hat off, setting it on the back of the couch, and she detected a touch of curl in his very short hair, likely why it was so very short. A small smile touched her lips. He really wasn’t the long-curly-locks type of guy.

  She traced his cheek with a light graze of her finger, feeling the course texture of a day’s growth. A faint flush spread through her as she remembered the rasp of that stubble against her own cheek, her neck, her collar bone… her breast. Maybe someday, when she wasn’t so fucked up anymore, maybe she’d be able to let go. To follow through, to continue instead of giving into that nagging, desperate hope that Jake may someday want her back. A foolish hope that, as long as she didn’t give in, as long as she saved herself just for him and didn’t cheat on him, they would end up together in the end.

  Ronin’s eyes fluttered open at her continued light touch. “Damn, I think your movie put me to sleep.”

  “My guess is that it is what you were drinking before you got here that did that,” Devin said softly, a slight smile touching her lips. “Plus, it is pretty late.”

  “Do you want me to go?”

  There was a slight pause as Devin studied his features. “Do you want to stay?” she countered in a barely audible voice.

  His gaze heated some, and he nodded slowly.

  “Not that I… Well, I mean, I don’t mean for—”

  “Honey, I doubt I’d ever turn you down,” Ronin chuckled, “but I’m a bit schnockered and I’m not sure I’d be much good anyway. Besides,” he added, “I actually just kinda like holding you.”

  Devin chewed her lip a moment before she stood, helped pull him upright, and led him to her room. His gaze immediately settled on her little Jake shrine—photos of Jake and a couple of pictures of the two of them together, a little Black Hills gold necklace, a few ticket stubs, a napkin from prom. Mementos of that ill-fated young love—a little pile of memories that she just couldn’t release, in spite of the hurt she felt when looking at them.

  “You have it pretty bad, huh?” he asked.

  Devin gave a sheepish nod. “Nobody usually comes in here. Sometimes Joanie when she’s helping me pick out something for bar-hopping and… sometimes Jake,” she mumbled.

  Ronin sat on the edge of the bed and kicked off his cowboy boots. He reached forward and tugged just a little to settle her on his lap. They just sat there for a while in a comfortable silence. The light touch of Ronin’s fingertips danced along her spine as she relaxed into his embrace.

  After some time had passed, Devin spoke in a small voice. “I don’t think I’m going to school in the fall,” she thoughtfully murmured, looking at the memories of Jake before her.

  Devin’s quiet announcement caused Ronin’s hand to stall its soothing trail along the curve of her back. He followed her gaze to the photos and ticket stubs.

  “You shouldn’t let Jake and Melanie dictate your life,” Ronin suggested softly.

  “No, that’s not it. That’s not what I’m doing.” Devin sat up straighter and turned towards him. “But I don’t know what I want to do, what I want to be. Honestly, I was kinda only going for him. So I could be with him, so we could be together. I don’t really see that happening at this point. Hell, I don’t even know what I want to go to school for. I declared nursing for a major, but I hate blood and I hate needles, so I’m not so sure that’s gonna work out for me.” After a moment’s pause, she continued. “But, that said, I’m not sure I could go. To see them together all the time. It still kind of hurts.”

  “So, what are you going to do? Stay here? Keep working at the Sundowner, serving buffalo burgers to tourists?” Ronin asked.

  Devin ran her fingertips along his strong hand absent-mindedly. “It’s fairly good money. Tips are fuckin’ awesome. Maybe I need to just see what happens. Follow where the current takes me. It seems to be pulling me away from Jake, as much as it kills me.”

  “He’s an ass for what he’s done to you, what he’s still doing. You’re cooler than shit, seriously. You deserve so much more.”

  “Thanks, Dad,” Devin joked dryly.

  Ronin’s chuckle morphed into a sleepy yawn.

  “Here,” Devin said quietly as she stood, pulling back the covers so Ronin could slip beneath them. Then she curled up against his side.

  “Have you always lived around here?” she asked after a few minutes.

  “I was born in California, actually,” Ronin replied, lying on his back with his eyes closed. “My dad left when I was about nine years old. About a year later, my mom moved us up here to live with my gramma, mostly because I had just been starting to hang out with some kind of rough kids in Cali. I got to Montana and knew all kinds of shit to get in trouble with the kids around here.”

  “I would have totally thought you’d lived here forever. You seem to fit in very well. You sorta have the mountain vibe going.”

  Ronin laughed softly and looked over at her. “Yeah, maybe now I do. Thanks to finding good guys to hang out with like Joe, Matt, Shane. I was pissed as hell about whatever brought me here, though, and kinda ran wild for a while.”

  “Where in California did you live?”

  “Lancaster. It’s sort of northeast of LA around the Mojave Desert. I mostly just remember it being hot and dry. Desolate as all fuck.”

  “We used to go to San Diego a lot when I was a kid. My grandparents lived there. My favorite place was always the bluffs above the ocean near Del Mar. Sometimes we would sit there for hours and watch the whales spouting. And down on the beach, we used to look for sand dollars. I was always fascinated by the kelp. My older brother used to psych me out by making me think he was eating jellyfish, that they were stinging his throat and he was going to die.”

  “Do you ever go there anymore?” Ronin asked.

  “Now and then. I have a cousin who lives there. She’s a rich, super-fabulously successful model who lives on the beach.” Devin paused for a moment. “She’s drop-dead gorgeous, tall, blonde. Everything I’m not, apparently,” Devin added the last bit sourly, thinking of Melanie, also tall and blonde and beautiful, and how she so easily pulled Jake away.

  Ronin raised his eyebrow at the jealous lilt in her voice. He reached out and brushed a lock of hair back that was working its way over her eyes. “Devin, honey, you’re gorgeous. Not everyone wants a fuckin’ blonde amazon, you know. Like this…” He gestured to the two of them, lying in her bed as a cool breeze danced with the curtain through the open window. “I kinda like how you fit curled up against my side.”

  “Great. I’m good in a dark room,” Devin moped.

  Ronin chuckled. “No, you’re so much more than that.” He rose up on his elbow to look down at her in the shadows, and she shifted to lie on her back. “Like your hair, for instance. You look like a brunette at first glance. But then the sun hits your hair, and… it’s like it catches fire, all these red and blonde parts just glow. And your eyes, I swear they change color. Some days, they look gray, some days blue, some days a pale green. You are a bit of a chameleon, you know.”

  Devin was quietly overcome by his words. For a moment, she could only look at him perplexed. “Why do you tell me these things?” she whispered. “I was with Jake for three years, and he never said anything like that to me. He always made me feel like… I don’t know. Like I should
be grateful that he wanted me because nobody else would. And you, you’re my friend. Albeit, kind of a weird friend since I don’t really, you know, cuddle much with Amy and Joanie. But sometimes you say things that just take my breath away. And I don’t know how to respond to that.”

  Ronin gave a half smile that was faintly visible in the dim cast of the rising moon. “Just smile and say thanks. I’m not saying it because I want anything, other than to let you know that you are every bit as gorgeous as Melanie—prettier, if you were to ask me. And I’m sure you are equally hot, if not more so, than your California cousin who has apparently enhanced your inferiority complex. You’ve kind of got a hate on for tall blondes, huh?”

  Devin laughed softly. “Sorcha is actually really sweet. Everything about her appearance—even her name—screams out that she’s a spoiled, snobby chick, and I’ll admit that I have always been a bit envious of her looks. She should make me feel totally inferior, but Sorcha is almost like a sister, the closest thing I’ve ever had to one, anyway. We are actually pretty close. Every now and then when I need to get away, she’ll send me a plane ticket so I can house-sit while she’s out on a modeling job. Life on the beach. Watching the waves roll in. The lap of luxury where nobody else can find me.” Devin sighed wistfully. “It’s a lovely escape.”

  Ronin rolled to his back, tucking her alongside him. She nuzzled his chest as his fingertips combed through the wavy tendrils of her hair. The gentle motion lulled her eyes closed and drew a deep yawn from her tired body. “This,” she murmured sleepily, “being here with you like this, it’s a lovely escape, too.”

  Ronin kissed her forehead in agreement, momentarily tightening his hold on her. “That it is, honey,” he breathed as she drifted off to sleep. “That it is…”