Married to the Struggle

by La Toya Hankins

  The two had crossed paths that night at the Wake County Detention Center where the protestors had been taken after being arrested. She was waiting for a friend who she had bailed out when Charlotte and her eyes meet across the crowded room, but no words were spoken. Sedalia remembers thinking how cute that tall red-hair woman was, but the thought soon passed out of her mind. She preferred women who were thicker than a chocolate milkshake and while this one had a little heft to her she didn’t seem to be her kind of flavor.

  A friend told Sedalia the food truck owner’s name that night. She discovered Charlotte donated the proceeds from the day’s sales to help post the bail for some of the protestors and had a reputation for donating food and proceeds from her restaurants to various causes. The friend also shared Charlotte enjoyed tasting all the flavors of the rainbow when it came to the women she dated. Sedalia, newly freed from a relationship that lasted two years too long, dismissed that fact as not really relevant to her daily existence.

  That is until she found herself in a pizza restaurant near the campus of St. Augustine University a month later to pick up a sponsorship check for the pride event she was helping to organize. Years later the memory of how Charlotte’s face lit up when she recognized Sedalia triggered a smile even after their most heated disagreement.

  Charlotte’s commitment to social justice along with her expressive jade color eyes, bountiful lips, and a full nose punctuated with a small piercing captivated Sedalia. A friendship evolved in a relationship. The two telephoned banked, attended protests, sponsored fundraisers, and grew in their commitment to social justice and to each other. Sedalia gave thanks often when she offered up prayers at night, she had found someone to share her interest in superhero movies as well as leading the fight to preserve reproductive justice.

  Sedalia wrestled with three additional dresses before she stepped into a frost off the shoulder A-line dress. The floor-length dress had a slight train and hid all of Sedalia’s bodily concerns and highlighted those parts she prided. It even had pockets. Goddess Bless. This is the one, ran through her mind as she admired her reflection. Faith and Kenly’s intake of breath when she walked out confirmed she had made the right choice. She stepped onto the raised platform in front of the three-way mirror to allow them a chance to bask.

  “Sedalia, that is so gorgeous.” Faith’s voice quivered with happiness. “I know I have said this before, but it bears repeating. I can’t believe my little rabble-rouser is getting married.”

  “So do you like this dress? Because I love this dress.” Sedalia looked at her sister, who returned her grin with one of her own.

  “I love this dress and I know Momma would approve if she was here. But then again she would probably say something about you walking down the aisle with half your chest exposed.”

  The corners of Sedalia’s eyes crinkled with amusement. “You are probably right. But you know I’m planning on wearing her pearls so I’m sure she wouldn’t really mind.”

  Their mother passing a week into the New Year less than a year ago was a major catalyst for her marriage. When she was dating women of color her mother put up a cordial front. That disappeared when Sedalia began dating Charlotte. A distance grew between Sedalia and her mother that lasted years until her mother became ill. Her parents had moved to the North Carolina coast after retirement, but she insisted on traveling to Durham for her medical needs. She would stay over at Sedalia and Charlotte would make a point of coming over with home-cooked meals that reminded Sedalia’s mother of her own rural roots. Sedalia was amazed this pizza shop owner could conjure up collard greens, cornbread and smothered pork chops that rivaled anything she grew up eating around her grandmother’s dining room table when they visited Brunswick County. Her mother’s attitude began shifting and sometimes if she felt up to it, she would join Charlotte in the kitchen so the two could create meals together. Her mother seemed to find a vessel in Charlotte to pour her own culinary knowledge into since neither Sedalia nor her two sisters were interested in cultivating their cooking skills. Sedalia never knew what the two talked about beyond ingredients and measurements but a month after her mother’s funeral during an impromptu trip to Savanah, Charlotte asked for her hand and the rest of her in marriage.

  “So it’s settled. This is the dress?” Kenly responded to Sedalia’s empathic smile. “Thank goodness. If you don’t need me for anything else, I’m going to head home. Tell Charlotte I will call her this weekend. Faith, it’s been a pleasure.”

  “Good seeing you as well Kenly. I will be expecting that thing we talked about sooner than later,” Faith said.

  Kenly snorted and Sedalia wondered for a minute if it was worth asking for clarification then changed her mind. She had her dress, and all was right in the world.

  Sedalia reluctantly parted ways with the dress after setting up appointments to have the dress altered. The fit was good enough for her standing still for a few moments but a little too snug for her to be able to move around and talk even with wearing a girdle. The fact she could cross that off her list allowed her to turn her mind to details about the wedding reception. Securing decorations and location was Charlotte’s responsibility while Sedalia handled the caterer and the entertainment. The couple agreed to forgo a band instead of accepting one of Sedalia’s fraternity brother’s offer to donate his DJ service as a wedding present. Their theme was songs with love in the title with the Al Green classic being their first dance together. The goal was to have a playlist that will get everyone on their feet for at least fifteen minutes. They made a point of incorporating high-energy tracks as well as what her best friend called ‘belly rubbing music’ or slow songs. A friend had offered their catering services as a wedding gift so that was settled. The menu included enough variety of fare to accommodate both sides of their families who believed in eating everything from the pig except for the oink and the friends who traveled with their own food container because no one could keep up with what they weren’t eating from week to week.

  Now she had secured the dress and planned to purchase the rest of her requirements for the day including shoes and jewelry during a scheduled visit to Chicago during Labor Day weekend. Buoyed by her excitement she turned up her car radio and sang along with the pop songs. Before she knew it, she was pulling up to her townhouse and was pleasantly surprised to find a basket of figs, pears and a bottle of mead sitting in front of her screen door.

  “Until tonight” the card tucked into the basket advised. A tingling between her thighs startled Sedalia. Six years later and her body’s reaction to the anticipation of experiencing pleasure with Charlotte still caught her unaware. She rushed inside to get ready all while navigating her way around the boxed portion of her life waiting to be transported to her new place of residence. Charlotte and she each were reluctant to give up their respective homes so they settled where they would live in the best democratic fashion. They played rock, paper, and scissors. The person that got three out of five won. Charlotte won. They officially wouldn’t move in together until after the wedding. Sedalia was a planner so slowly and surely her items were migrating from her townhome to Charlotte’s home.

  “Oh, I love it when I catch you like this,” Charlotte said, walking into the bathroom an hour later. Sedalia opened the shower door and shook her head in mock exasperation. She assumed she would have time to freshen up, fix a quick dinner, and set the mood before Charlotte arrived. But there her love stood wearing her usual cobalt blue shirt and coal colored pants she wore to work. Sedalia read the look of lust and appreciation on her lover’s face in responses to her slick body with beads of waters clinging to her curves.

  “I know you love it when I’m all wet like a summer storm but why don’t you go downstairs and check on dinner. I will be finished in a second.”

  Charlotte lifted up her shirt, revealing her sports bra, and said she had a better idea. Within minutes her naked body rubbed against Sedalia under the steaming water.

  “Well, good evening. Fancy meeting yo
u here.” She kissed Sedalia after the two shifted position to allow Charlotte’s back to rest on the bathroom wall and Sedalia to stand slightly to the left of the shower stream.

  “I’m not going to ask how your day went because Kenly already told me. No, she didn’t give me details but she sounded suitably impressed. Now, while I’m sure the dress you got is gorgeous, I think you are the most beautiful woman when you are wearing nothing but a shower cap like you are now.”

  “I appreciate that, but I can’t walk down the aisle wearing nothing but soap suds. Now you and both know this is a tight fit so let’s not plan to stay in here long. Let me rinse off and we can get out.”

  “Trust me, we won’t be in here long,” Charlotte said, pulling Sedalia’s body against her. “And you know how I love tight spaces.”

  Sedalia gasped as her lover’s fingers traveled between her thighs to arrive at the entrance of her womanhood. Charlotte slid inside her and began sucking gently on her earlobe. Sedalia’s hip rocked in an unconscious rhythm as Charlotte stoked the core of her desire, Sedalia pulled Charlotte closer as their breasts pressed against each other. Her arms wrapped around Charlotte who murmured scandalous words of carnal appreciation in her ear. Charlotte’s touch sent currents throughout Sedalia’s limbs. Sedalia’s desire filled her mouth as words scampered away from her. A sense of powerfulness that she could elicit such a desire for someone to want to please her filled her. Charlotte’s fingers explored her valley as her thumb did wicked things. Sedalia’s cries of passion rose above the water in response to Charlotte’s declaration of love and appreciation. Moments later Sedalia shuddered as Charlotte unleashed her organism.

  “Don’t worry, I turned the stove off before I came upstairs because I anticipated we were going to be a while,” Charlotte said, turning off the shower. “I know you usually don’t like making love standing up, but I just couldn’t help myself, my sweet brown butter woman.”

  “Oh, my marigold, you are a wanton woman, leaving me all spent, but I do so love you,” Sedalia said, pulling off her shower cap. The two stepped on the bathroom rug and toweled each other off. During dinner, they shared tales about their days. Later that night, they lay in bed after engaging in a round of lovemaking that involved Sedalia using the figs in a creative way to make Charlotte her nighttime snack. Their lovemaking has evolved over the years from the rushed passions of two people excited about exploring each other curves and edges to the settled contentment of two drivers who are familiar with the terrain to know when to speed up and take it slow at all the right time.

  “Penny for your thoughts.” Charlotte kissed the dove tattoo on Sedalia’s shoulder.

  “Just thinking how much I enjoy this and how I’m looking forward to many nights like this.” Sedalia rolled over and looked into Charlotte’s eyes. She loved the way they look slightly out of focus due to her not wearing her contacts but so full of love looking at her she considered launching into a third round of pleasing each other.

  “Butter I can’t begin to express how much having you by my side for the rest of my life is going to mean to me. Before you came into my life, I knew I would never find someone as complex and caring as you. You can debate policies with the best of them and can still enjoy a good joke. I had heard about you and your work with pride before we meet but I had no idea how truly phenomenal you were.”

  “Thank you lovely, you pretty awesome yourself. Now, I know we can be here all night paying each other compliments, but I have an early client tomorrow and need my rest. And I know you are supposed to have a meeting with the contractor for your new restaurant so I think we should both call it a night.”

  “Are you sure?” Charlotte brushed the hollow of Sedalia’s throat with her lips then kissed her collarbone before moving down to space between her breasts. “I think if I put my mind to it, I can conjure up some more fireworks.”

  Sedalia declined the offer with a kiss and restated since it was already one A.M., they should get some sleep. The next morning Sedalia woke to an empty bed. Charlotte typically went for a mile run whenever she slept over because she loved the trail that near her home. She would do her run, drive home to shower and clean up then head out to work. Another day to conquer so let not’s delay the inevitable, Sedalia thought and got out of bed to head to the shower to get her day started as well.

  She half-listened to the national news program while getting dressed for work and thought about her upcoming weekend. Usually, Charlotte and she spent Saturdays working but this weekend they had planned a mountain getaway.

  “Look at you acting like a Bill Withers song lyric,” she said to her reflection in the bathroom mirror. “It is truly going to be a lovely day.”

  Sedalia exhaled in frustration thirty minutes later. Her prediction had been totally false due to a fender-bender and the resulting lookie-loos that stretched her usual twenty-minute drive to forty-five minutes. Since she was running late she didn’t have a chance to stop and get her usually chocolate croissant and café mocha from the coffee shop a block from the shop and her first client was a fussy former college professor who had worn the same press and curls style since for almost as long as Sedalia had walked the earth.

  “I’m so sorry Dr. Richmond. Traffic was a beast and I know you don’t answer your cell phone before nine A.M., so I didn’t bother to call to let you know I was running late,” Sedalia apologized to a noticeably annoyed obsidian-colored woman. The sounds of her shop surrounded her when she walked in with the instrumental jazz coming through the speakers mingling with the excited conversation of one of the stylists working on her morning client. Thankfully one of the other stylists had started shampooing Dr. Richmond. That allowed Sedalia to put on her smock and settle her nerves. She had owned her own shop for three years and employed five full-time stylists however she still maintained her list of regular customers. While she may not spend every day on her feet fixing hair, she still made a point of taking care of those who had trusted her with their tresses since she first earned her cosmetologist licenses so many years ago. Once the stylist finished washing, Sedalia stepped in and applied a conditioner to the woman’s gunmetal color hair and sat her under the dryer. She set the timer then sat in her chair to read the morning paper. One of her ex-girlfriends worked at the Herald and made sure she got at least two copies of the paper for the staff and patrons to read.

  “I can tell by your face you saw the same thing I saw in the paper. Can you believe that mess? It’s a sin and a shame but I guess the mayor’s hands are tied,” Sedalia’s client shouted from under the roar of the dryer.

  Sedalia sighed and shook her head. The above the fold story in today’s paper was the announcement that despite numerous opposition expressed during a recent city council meeting, the rezoning of a stretch of land long used for a community garden had been approved to allow an out of state real estate developer to purchase the land to build housing. Community activists, including Sedalia and Charlotte, had collected signatures to present to the council to prevent this from happening. Their arguments were in the need for development so many green spaces were being destroyed. Some spaces should be considered off-limit. Sedalia half-expected this to be the outcome still seeing it in black and white in the newspaper was like a gut-punch.

  “Just what we need, another high-rise apartment near downtown so this new to the Bull City folks will have less distance to bike to work downtown,” Sedalia grumbled. “Progress often comes at the expense of those who built the city. Such a shame that it comes to this. I guess money talks and bullshit runs a marathon.”

  The mayor’s decision proved to be a hot topic in the shop. Many of the clients lived near the area being rezoned and had fond memories of family reunions and first kisses in the adjacent city park. Sedalia empathized with everyone about how damaging the decision would be for the community and offered her opinions along with up-dos and rod-sets with how to express the outrage about the decision.

  “It just sucks the mayor plan to let developers dest
roy that neighborhood off Parish Street. Durham’s history is being erased one structure at a time and it’s up to us to do something before it’s too late.” Sedalia’s two P.M. appointment announced. The twenty-something graduate student with skin the color of strongly brewed iced tea reminded Sedalia of herself down to oversized wooden earrings and overindulgence of aromatic oils. Navassa’s declaration about the mayor’s decision interrupted Sedalia’s train of thought. One of Charlotte’s delivery drivers dropped her lunch off thirty minutes prior and her mind was focused on the spinach and mushroom calzone.

  “Miss Sedalia, a few of us were planning to go down this weekend and occupy the space. If we can’t stop them from building, we can certainly delay them. You should join us after you close the shop on Saturday night.”

  “I would love to come out and support, but Charlotte and I are planning to drive to Boone to see her nephew. You know she attended Appalachian State, so she figured she would get a chance to relive her college days and get him settled,” Sedalia said around a mouth full of hairpins she was using to complete her client’s hairdo. “This is one of her nephews I actually get along with so I figured I would keep her company. We are going to drive up early tomorrow morning, hang out with him, stay the night, and then drive back Sunday. Depending on how we do on time, we may stop off in Greensboro and see her nephew who is going to UNC Greensboro. I don’t particularly care for him so I’m foreseeing a lot of traffic on the highway that will keep us on a tight schedule so we can get back for work.”