Married to the Struggle

by La Toya Hankins

  “Dang, I keep forgetting you are partnered to that woman who owns the pizza place. My roommates love her food. We end up getting food from there at least three times a month.” Navassa turned around in her seat. “Wait, aren’t you getting married soon? You going to get settled down and forget all about being out in these streets making a difference.”

  “You and I both know that’s not going to be the case. Charlotte and I will always be committed to being there to voice our concerns and represent the causes even after we are married.”

  “Yeah, yeah, so you say.” The student’s good-natured mocking came close to rubbing Sedalia the wrong way. “The two of you are going to get married, adopt some kids, and the next thing you know the two of you are going to be spending your weekends at story times and those toddler gymnastic places you see everywhere. You know how we women can get when we get settled. The guys may get hitched and still run the streets doing brunches and such. We disappear into our houses with our wives never to be seen again.”

  Sedalia’s employees joined the client in laughter and started making jokes about Sedalia slowing down. She shook her head and said she would always be married to the struggle no matter what her last name. Charlotte and she came together through their interest in fighting “The Man” and she didn’t anticipate their marriage interrupting that.

  “Miss Sedalia, I just messing with you about Charlotte and you being involved after y’all get married. Both of you are known for your actions and words. Hell, your reputation as a community activist is one of the reasons I come here to get my hair done. You know my cousin would be willing to do my hair for free ninety-nine if nothing but to get more likes on her social media page,” Navassa said. “Charlotte also is known for her work of putting her money where her morals are so I have no doubt y’all will still support what is going on. I just don’t think y’all will be in the streets as much.”

  The garden situation was a presence at Charlotte’s dinner table along with the moo shu pork Sedalia picked up on her way over. They agreed they both wanted to be present during the protest Saturday but that family, in this case, came first.

  “Do you think we will stop being so active once we settled down? I know we have discussed having children within the next few years so our focus will be on that. But I don’t want us to get so caught up in our lives we forget about other people not so fortunate,” Sedalia said. It was later that night and while they had discussed other things during dinner, the graduate student’s words still nagged at her. A Charlie Parker solo served as background as they talked.

  “Butter, I don’t think anything will stand in your way or mine for that matter. I know that once we start building a family, we may not be able to attend as many shut-downs and rallies but we have both seen mothers out there with babes in arms standing up for what is right. I know what that client said to you has been sticking in your head, but she doesn’t know you as I did. Remember you are the same woman that participated at the rally in Hillsborough with a hundred- and two-degree fever four years ago.

  Sedalia grinned at the memory. “Yeah, I was as sick as a dog and you were such a good nursemaid when I came home. You haven’t been a slouch yourself in being involved in the fray. Granted the business has kept you from attending a lot of the rallies but for me, you will always be that rabble-rouser I fell in love with.”

  Charlotte responded with a loving gaze. “That is good to hear. I know since business picked up, I haven’t been as active as I wanted. I like being able to write checks and donate items but sometimes I want to be on the front lines more.”

  “The way you show up to support is invaluable and I wouldn’t want you to show your commitment any other way,” Sedalia said. “We both know that while those getting hosed and arrested get the attention when it comes to protesting but those who fund the movements and post the bails are just as important if not more. We have both had our times on the front line, so I think we have earned a chance to take a break every so often. I don’t see us pulling all the way back but sometimes a little pause is nice. So don’t think just because we are getting married, we aren’t going to still be part of the process of making things better.”

  “Good because I’m looking forward to being one of those grey hairs that are always coming up with the best chants and having the best snacks tucked away.”

  “Well, you know I like a silver foxy lady.” Sedalia leaned over and kissed her lover.

  One of the things Sedalia loved most about Charlotte was she was a great traveling companion. During long road trips, they have solved most of the world’s problems and told each other fanciful stories that involved flying girlfriends, Collins and his man-bag and gambling ostriches. It was while in the car on back roads and interstates they discovered more about each other and themselves. It was as if the open road freed them up to talk about things that no matter how open their relationship, sometimes seemed were hard to approach The trip to see Charlotte’s nephew had proved no different.

  “So, I know this may be considered a little bit late to ask but are you really ready to be married to me,” Charlotte asked. They were four hours from home and stuck in a traffic jam. Since it was Sedalia’s hour to pick the tunes on the radio Annie Oakley singing about being better than someone else served as background to her fiancée query.

  “Yes, I am more than ready to be your beloved legally. Whenever I am around you, I feel inspired to be better. True, you can sometimes worry me to the point of frustration, but I couldn’t imagine being without you,” Sedalia said. Since she was driving, she was limited in the physical confirmation of her appreciation of her lover, but the traffic slows down allowed her the chance to lean over and give her lover a kiss”

  “I appreciate you saying that. I know the first couple of years we were together were rough. The looks we got, man I tell you, they weren’t all friendly,” Charlotte said. “And that was from people we didn’t know. The comments from our family and friends were so out of pocket. To be honest, sometimes I doubted we would make it.”

  “You are right. Remember the first time you took me home to meet your folks for the holiday.” Sedalia chuckled. “Your dad and brothers at least tried to be cordial, but your aunts were deep in their feelings and didn’t mind showing it. Even Kenly was a little stiff but at least she finally came around.”

  “Yeah, there were really asses and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You would think they would have come around after all this time but what can you say.”

  Charlotte and Sedalia sat silent. The fact of some member of their family never accepted their relationship with a painful shared experience. Despite Charlotte having four brothers, three sisters, seven aunts and five uncles, a father, grandmother, and great-grandmother, only Kenly, her husband and their four children, two brothers, and her great-grandmother plan to attend the wedding. Half of them opposed her marrying someone black and the other half opposed her marrying a woman.

  Sedalia’s family was only slightly better. When she brought Charlotte to the conferring of her sister’s doctorate at North Carolina A&T four years ago the way some of her family responded surprised her. No one was out right rude but the reception was frosty.

  “But you know we don’t need all those people around us with their negativity. If I got my baby by my side, that is all that matters to me. Speaking of which, it’s my time to pick the music and I’m feeling some swing.”

  “I think I can get with some Count Basie. You know I didn’t think I will ever quite get over your taste in music. I remember those nights when I was coming over for date night and whatever cuisine you fixed you have some musical selection to go with it. You even had some Dutch music when we looked at Antonia’s Line which I now love thanks to you.

  “You know I have to thank my high school music teacher for really opening my eyes to music as well as being more involved and standing up for what was the right thing when it came to other people. He was an NC Teaching Fellows otherwise I’m sure he would h
ave never ended up in Lincoln County. The kids called him Stay-puff because he was a bit on the heavy side and pale. He opened my eyes to a lot of things I took for granted and helped me find a way to speak out when I saw something that wasn’t right. He got me involved in the Human Rights Campaign, supporting Planned Parenthood, and other causes that I didn’t know existed until he encouraged me to look beyond myself and focus on helping others.”

  “Well, I’m glad he has a chance to influence you to be engaged because otherwise, you might not have become engaged to me.” Sedalia giggled. “At least the traffic is picking up. Hopefully, we will be home before too late.”

  “I hope so, too. I really loved that bed and breakfast we stayed in but it’s nothing like being in your own bed especially when you are next to me.”

  “I like the way you think marigold”

  During the next week, Sedalia kept up with the developments related to the park protest but soon found the situation sliding down her list of concerns about the big date approached.

  She was able to travel to Chicago as planned during Labor Day and enjoyed spending time with her sorority sisters/wedding attendants taking in the sights and the sights. Along with historical landmarks, the trio also visited their shares of after-hours spots complete with scantily clad ladies who cared little of the injustices occurring outside the dimly lit rooms with the loud music blaring from the speakers. She had insisted on not having a typical bachelorette party still her oldest and dearest friend insisted she wouldn’t be able to hold her head high as a bridesmaid if she didn’t induce her to partake of at least one debauched act before marriage.

  Three weeks before her wedding date Sedalia sat in her office reviewing her fourth-quarter budget when a bzzzz announcing she had a text message interrupted her. Her cheerful mood evaporated once she read the message. It was from her graduate school client canceling her appointment. She had been arrested for disrupting a planning committee meeting after she threw dirt at the apartment developer during his presentation. A clod struck his eyeglasses, which then broke. He claimed a piece of glass flew into his eye and had been taken to the hospital. The student has been charged with assault. Sedalia reached for her phone and hit the number eight speed dial.

  “Hey, Rosa, no, this time it’s not for me or Charlotte. Don’t be like that. I call you for other things.” She giggled. “One of my clients is being held downtown and I’m going to bail them out. Can you handle it? Great, thank you so much. Just let me know the details and we can square up after she is out. Yep, a few more weeks and Charlotte and I will be hitched. You are still coming, right? Good. See you soon and thank you again.”

  Sedalia gave Rosa the details the student has texted her and returned to her work. Rosa and she went back decades. When the former probation officer opened her own bails bonding business Sedalia committed herself to support. She availed herself of Rosa’s service and recommended her to others who saw themselves needing assistance to get out of lock-up. Less than thirty minutes later, Sedalia’s phone rang with not so good news.

  “Sedalia, there’s been a glitch in getting your client out. Turns out they have your friend in there for a twenty-five thousand bond. It seems like she clocked that guy well, and they bumped up her charges to assault with a deadly weapon,” Rosa said in the New Orleans accent which charmed Sedalia the first time they met.

  Sedalia frowned. The girl said she hit the guy with dirt and last she checked soil was not considered to be a weapon. Rosa explained the clod of dirt contained rock fragments which explained why the force was enough to break the developer’s glasses.

  “This is a pretty big deal so I can still write the bond but it’s going to be more than the usual amount. I know you are planning a wedding and probably your funds are going toward that so I can give you a little break, but you need to be able to put down at least ten percent

  Sedalia looked at her books and thought about her next step. She had some savings and the shop was doing well but twenty-five hundred would be a big pinch. But she was just promising to be down for the struggle in any way even when she is approaching marriage.

  “I appreciate you letting me know what is going on.” Sedalia sighed. “You are good to charge my card for the twenty-five hundred. Please make sure she gets out okay. For all her big talk sometimes, I know this is her first time in lockup. Text me when you get her out.”

  That night Charlotte was in turn amused, incredulous, and annoyed about the cause and effect of the girl’s actions. The two were assembling wedding favors to be given to guests. The couple had worked with a local baker to come up with tasteful solutions for those guests who for various reasons could not consume typical wedding sweet fares like nuts or chocolate. Charlotte and she joked it would be better for them to bag up the goodies and put them away in a freezer to avoid them melting in the summer and as well as keeping them from eating them all. She would never imagine that soy could be turned into a wonderful substitute for chocolate and caramel.

  “They put such a high bond to send a message I’m sure,” Charlotte said and popped a morsel in her mouth.

  “I just hate she got caught up in this. Her intentions are good, but you can’t put yourself in positions where you can physically harm someone else. It’s not the good old days.” Sedalia did air quotes around good old days. “You can’t use an orange to mush someone in the face just because you don’t like them and get away with it. Or throw paint on someone’s fur coat and not expect to face some repercussions.”

  Charlotte grinned as she recalled her protest at a local mall in Gastonia where she decided to show her disdain for the fur industry. She was only ten, so her protest wasn’t too outlandish, but it leads to some hand to behind time when her mother found out.

  “Yeah there were some people that took it to the extreme but sometimes you have to ruffles some feathers to get people’s attention. Not that I approve of her tactics,” Charlotte responded to Sedalia’s raised eyebrows. “Still I’m glad she felt so moved to take action. I remember those times when I was active with boots on the ground instead of just writing checks. But enough about that, we are fast approaching the big day and I am almost beside myself imagining you as my wife. Speaking of which, Kenly wants to host a bridal shower for us next weekend. I told her I would check with you and let you know.”

  “Hmm, I wonder if this sudden desire to host a shower has anything to do with the pictures, I posted this morning from the shower my sister held for us last weekend. Don’t get me wrong, Kenly throws great parties. After all, I had such a lovely time at the last event we attended.”

  Charlotte chuckled. The last time the couple attended a Kenly hosted function, a high school graduation cook-out for her son, Sedalia got into a harsh exchange of words with a guest about who was a better Batman, Christian Bale or Michael Keaton. But she assured Sedalia if Kenly plans to host a bridal shower to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of an interracial lesbian couple the guest list couldn’t be too quarrelsome.

  “I guess.” Sedalia’s words were interrupted by her ringing phone. “Tell her I am fine with it and not to be too pushy but if we can do it on a Sunday it would be best. That way people will be reluctant to sit around too long because they have to get up and go to work the next day.” Charlotte picked up her phone to text her sister back as Sedalia answered her phone.

  “Well hello, jailbird, how does that free air taste,” Sedalia teased. “Don’t worry about it, just make sure you abide by whatever they need you do between now and your court date and you will be fine. I will give it to you the idea was clever, but your delivery and aim could have been better. Listen I am having some quality time with Charlotte so I’m will talk to you later. But seriously, I’m glad I was able to help you out, but I don’t plan to make it a habit.”

  “How did she sound?” Charlotte took a sip of Sedalia’s iced tea.

  “Like she was shaken and stirred. I mean a lot of people think because they have heard the stories from others and seen it on televis
ion they can handle being booked and put in a cell. But it’s a lot different when it happens in real-time.” Sedalia leaned toward Charlotte and dropped her voice to a sultry purr “Tell me Charlotte, do you remember your first time.”

  Sedalia knew the story by heart but loved hearing her lover telling it. She had attended a high school that had as a mascot a Confederate soldier and was known as the Rebels. The team’s bus was emblazed with the flag often associated with the Confederacy and some of the students felt it was not a suitable representation. The principle, an alumnus of the school, decided to phase out the branding by removing the flag from the team’s bus at the end of the school year. Charlotte and some of her friends decided he wasn’t moving swift enough to remove the emblem scattered throughout the school. They decided to sneak in one night and make some modifications of their own. The police were called and her father, hoping to teach her a lesson, gave his consent for her to be arrested for vandalism and trespassing. Because she was arrested on a Friday, she would have to stay in jail the entire weekend before her mother snuck and bailed her out. The incident instead of quashing her desire to speak up sparked it to an even higher height.

  “I love a rebel with a cause,” Sedalia said before kissing Charlotte. The malted taste of the beer she drank lingered on her lips.

  “Well, we all can’t be cougars,” Charlotte said, evoking Sedalia’s high school mascot and a private joke about Sedalia being seven years older than Charlotte. “Now let finish with the favors.”

  The next two weeks speed by so quickly between dress fitting, nailing down last-minute details about the reception, coordinating with her attendants, and running a business. Finally, it was the night before the ceremony. She and her attendants had booked three rooms in the downtown hotel where the ceremony was scheduled to take place The plan was to watch movies, have their manicures and pedicures done as well as their hair styled so all that would be required the day was to get dressed and show up. Charlotte and her attendants were spending the night before at a different hotel. The couple planned to abstain from contact for twenty-four hours and since all the important people in Sedalia’s life were around her, she decided after a flurry of love you and hearts from Charlotte around five the previous evening to turn off her phone. It wasn’t until she woke up the next morning and turned on her phone, she realized how Charlotte spent her last night as a single woman.