Clinging to Rapture

by Megan D. Martin

  “I think it will be fine. You’re sure we weren’t followed?”

  Cole nodded. “Yup. I doubled back five times, babe. No one was following, I promise.” He wrapped his arms around me from behind. “I told all of my men to stay behind. I didn’t tell them where we were going.”

  “You think they’ll listen?”

  “They will if they want to keep their jobs. They know I don’t fuck around.”

  I smiled and turned into him, feeling safe for the first time all day. “Thank you.”

  He placed a soft kiss on my lips. “We’re gonna find this guy. I’m going to make him and whoever’s pulling the strings sorry—so fucking sorry.” His words emerged as a growl—a promise.

  A twinge of anticipation bubbled at my core.

  “Uh, guys?” Mandi cleared her throat and I stepped back from Cole. She was beaming.

  “What?” I asked her, knowing my cheeks had to be red.

  “Oh nothing.” But she didn’t stop grinning.

  My phone started buzzing in my pocket and I pulled it out, relieved to have a distraction. Vic’s name illuminated the screen.

  “Hey.”

  “Holy fuck, Jewel. It’s you. It’s really you.” The sound of his voice was like a balm to my ears.

  “Yes, it’s me. How are you?”

  “How am I? Are you fucking kidding? How are you? Are you okay? What happened? Chris said he came and saw you, but he didn’t know anything specific. I’ve been worried sick and wanting to come, but we just haven’t had the money. I’ve hated myself that I couldn’t come down there and be with you.” He rushed the words so quickly I barely had a chance to cut in.

  “It’s okay, Vic. Really it is. There’s nothing you could have done. I’m okay.”

  “And your neck?”

  I swallowed hard and turned away from Cole and Mandi. “It’s scarred, still really red. They say it will lighten up.” I sighed. “But I’ll always have it.”

  “I’m sure you’re still as beautiful as ever,” he said quietly. “So long as you aren’t wearing that old raggedy hockey sweatshirt. You’re not wearing it now, are you?”

  I giggled. “You and that fucking sweater! I don’t see why you hate it so much. I think I rock it out pretty well.”

  Vic snorted. “Yeah, it’s hot if you’re going for that homeless lady look.”

  “You know that’s my favorite look. But since you asked, no. I’m not wearing it.”

  “Good.” There was a moment of silence. “God, I miss you. How’s old Weasley?”

  I’d seen my ball of fur lounging on the back of an expensive looking couch in the den as we passed through on our way out. The housekeeper swept the wood floors while he napped. “Oh you know, just being a lazy bum, like usual.”

  “That ridiculous cat…” Our conversation continued for a few more minutes in light-hearted banter.

  “I miss you, Jewel,” he said again as our conversation came to a close.

  I chewed my lip. “I miss you too.”

  “I’m going to come see you soon. I love you, you know that right?”

  “I know you do. I love you too, Vic.” I hung up and felt better. Just hearing Vic’s voice was comforting, like having Mandi here with me. I turned around to see her fiddling with her phone. Cole was nowhere in sight.

  “Where’s Cole?”

  “He stepped out.” She glanced up. “Didn’t look too happy about your phone call.”

  I shrugged and laid back on the bed.

  “You don’t care?”

  I made a noncommittal noise. “I do.” I cared way too fucking much when it came to Cole. I hadn’t even considered what went on between us the night before. It was too much to think about, especially with everything else going on. I knew Cole loved me; it was clear in everything he did for me. But he was still with Elaine, and I couldn’t understand why. Even though he hadn’t acted all lovey-dovey with her this morning, he hadn’t broken things off with her either. “It’s complicated.”

  “Yeah. Seems like it.” She was silent for a few minutes before adding, “Do you have any idea who’s doing all of this to you?”

  “Elaine.”

  “You think so?” She sounded skeptical.

  I sat up quickly. “You don’t?”

  “I don’t know. Just like your gran said, she seems like a stupid bitch. I don’t know if she would go to all this trouble for you. She strikes me as the type of girl who doesn’t spend time thinking about anything other than herself.” Mandi rubbed her neck, the colorful tattoos writhing against her fingertips.

  “Yeah, maybe. You should have seen her face after I punched her though. It looked like the devil was coming out of her.”

  “For real? That’s scary.” She paused. “Wait, what about that guy, the ex that came into the gas station that one night. Something wasn’t right about him.”

  “Kevin? I don’t think so. He’s twisted, but I don’t think he would do all this. If he was going to hurt me, he would do it himself.” I cringed. “He was always hands-on when it came to causing me pain.”

  “Makes sense. Now enough about all that. Tell me about what y’all did in New Orleans. I want details!”

  I let my giddiness about the good things take over and told Mandi everything. It felt good telling her. She ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhhed’ at all the right moments, making me feel like a teenager again.

  “Do you love him?” she asked once I was finished.

  “I do.”

  She smiled and clapped a hand over her chest. “Lord help us all.”

  “Oh, shut it!” I tossed a pillow at her. “I wonder what he’s doing?” I glanced at my phone. A sick feeling hit my gut when I realized it had been over an hour since he had left the room. I rushed to the door and tore it open.

  Relief swallowed me whole when I saw Cole in the parking lot, illuminated by the yellow outdoor lights and the dim twilight of the oncoming night. He leaned against the truck and talked angrily into his cell phone. His handsome face was drawn in fierce concentration, as if he was trying to dissect every word the caller was saying. He glanced up and me and the tension disappeared. He flashed me a quick smile that made my heart pound, before mouthing that he would be in soon. I closed the door with satisfaction.

  “He okay?”

  “Yeah.” I smiled at Mandi. “Thanks for coming here with me. You didn’t have to. Just know that it means a lot to me.”

  “Of course. I can’t let you hide out on your own!”

  I chuckled and climbed into bed. The night was still young, but I was exhausted.

  “I think I’m gonna go ahead and try to sleep.”

  “Okay. I’m pretty whooped too. I stayed up ‘til like four this morning partying with some old friends.”

  I laid there for a few minutes, letting my mind wander.

  “Hey, Julia?” Mandi whispered.

  I turned over and met her purple gaze. “Yeah?”

  “I just want you to know that I’m glad you opened up to me that night at work. Your friendship means a lot to me.”

  My heart pounded in my chest. “You have no idea what your friendship means to me. I mean, shit, all the stuff I’ve put you through in just the short time we’ve been friends.”

  Mandi giggled. “That’s what friends are for.” She paused, her face sobering. “I’m just glad you’re okay. They will find this guy and things will get better. I know they will. And then we can party and live the carefree life again.”

  I giggled. “I can’t wait.”

  “Night Julia.”

  “Night.” I turned away from her letting the happiness sink into my heart.

  But even as I laid there, exhausted from not sleeping for almost forty-eight hours, I just couldn’t drift off. My body was exhausted, but my mind raced like it would never tire. Hundreds of scenarios twisted through my mind, sucking all the happiness out of me.

  You’re safe, Julia. Don’t worry. No one followed you.

  I turned over about fifteen minut
es later and noticed that Mandi was sound asleep. Her body was turned away from me so all I could see was the back of her head, her raven hair in a messy bun. I tiptoed to my purse and pulled out a bottle of sleeping pills the doctor had prescribed me before I was released from the hospital.

  “Some people have trouble sleeping after surviving a trauma like you have. It’s good to have a back-up just in case,” he had said.

  I hadn’t taken any yet, but tonight was as good a night as any. I was safe and I needed sleep. I popped one into my mouth and swallowed it down with a cup of water. The big pill slid heavily down my throat.

  I peeked out the door; my earlier relief had faded.

  Cole stood where I’d left him, still arguing with someone on the phone.

  You okay? I mouthed at him.

  He nodded his head and put his hand over the speaker. “I’ve got some things I have to tie up with work. Sorry, it shouldn’t take much longer.” He gave me an apologetic look.

  I padded over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “Don’t worry,” I whispered. “You do what you need to. I’m going to bed.”

  He looked down at me, his gaze tracing over my face. “You okay?”

  That question seemed to be packed with a million others. Too many for me to consider or else my mind would race even faster. I couldn’t handle that. “I’m fine.” I smiled weakly. “Goodnight.”

  “Night, babe.” He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss against my lips. Even with the stress of everything going on, heat still snaked down to my core, wetting my panties. How does he do this to me?

  I left the question unasked and hurried back into the hotel room. The warmth from Cole’s lips sparked something aside from desire. The sweet rapture of drowsiness thrummed through my veins. I barely made it to the pillow before I was fast asleep.

  TWENTY-THREE.

  I slowly awoke. I was still tired. So tired. But something was screaming for me to wake up. I couldn’t name it, but I couldn’t ignore the feeling either. I tried. I really wanted to ignore it.

  Just a little bit more sleep. That’s all I need. Please.

  But the feeling was heavy, reaching for me in the darkness of my dreamless sleep. Like groping hands it clung to me, tugging me up, up, even though I didn’t want to go. You have to.

  I wanted to snarl at my subconscious for being so bitchy all of a sudden. I was somewhere between wakefulness and sleep. The heavy sensation pressed me down until it was nearly suffocating.

  Why do I feel this way? The feeling worsened the closer I got to fully waking. What is this?

  I pushed at my eyes, demanding they open, a sense of panic taking hold when I realized there wasn’t something weighing down on my mind. Instead it was pressing on my chest, on almost my entire body. My eyes popped open, greeted with total darkness. The room was silent, completely silent, other than the soft pitter of water dripping on carpet somewhere.

  I wanted to push the weight off me immediately, but panic gripped me and I laid still. My breaths ragged. Something sticky was on my neck, my chin, my mouth tasted coppery.

  My mind flashed back to the night behind the gas station when I was numb, when I could feel nothing but the burning liquid pouring from my neck. Blood. My blood. A squeal of horror tore from my throat as I pushed at the heavy weight on top of me. My hands fumbled with some kind of damp material. The weight rolled off easily and thudded on the floor. I jumped out of bed on the other side, slipping on something wet and falling to the floor.

  “Fuck!” I screeched and dove for the lamp I knew was near the bed.

  The instant the light clicked on, I wished it hadn’t. I thought having the light on would wash away my fear and prove I was just having another nightmare like before. That I was just reliving the past.

  But I wasn’t. Am I?

  I stared around the room. The bed I’d been sleeping in was covered in blood, bright red blood. I touched my neck; the soft, sticky flesh of my scar was still intact. I wasn’t hurt. It’s not my blood.

  “No.” I shook my head. “No, no, no, no,” the words came out reflexively. I didn’t want to take the steps that would lead me to the other side of the bed, where the heavy weight had rolled onto the floor, but I found my feet carrying me there anyway.

  I didn’t gasp when I saw it. I just stared down at the dead body on the gray carpet. It didn’t seem real. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t. The word BITCH stared back at me from a black t-shirt on a headless torso. The bright white letters stained red.

  I shook my head. “No, this isn’t real. It’s a joke.” But no laughter bubbled on my lips. I glanced over at Mandi’s bed to assure myself that I was just seeing things; this was just a prank she was pulling on me.

  I stared at the back of her head, her hair still wound in a bun, lying on the pillow just like she’d been when I last looked at her before I went to sleep. The outline of her body was tucked away under the ragged motel room comforter.

  It is just a joke.

  “Fuck, Mandi, you scared the shit out of me.” I walked over to her and shook her shoulder. Only it wasn’t her shoulder. It was soft. Just a pillow. I jerked the covers back revealing gory, blood spattered sheets.

  “No!” In my haste of jerking the covers back, Mandi’s head rolled toward me. Blood had leaked out of her open mouth. Her dark eyes, glazed, stared up into nothingness. “No!” I stumbled backward, my bare feet slipping again on the damp floor. My heart thudded in my ears.

  This isn’t real. Just a dream! Wake up!

  I kept pinching my arm, but it didn’t work.

  A quiet sound from behind me caused me to spin around. My gaze latched on to a trail of blood that led to the bathroom. The door was halfway open, but I couldn’t see inside.

  Is someone in there?

  The very thought made my heart stutter in my chest. I glanced around searching for some kind of weapon. Nothing jumped out at me besides the TV remote on the nightstand. I snatched it up and moved slowly toward the bathroom, the blood-soaked carpet squishing between my toes.

  So much blood. Covering me. Covering everything.

  Ignore it.

  “Come out of there!” I hissed at the door, at the figure I knew had to be hiding in the shadows.

  What are they waiting for?

  “If you want to do this, then let’s fucking do it!” I screeched. I clutched the remote, and it slipped in my greasy grasp.

  What am I going to do? Mute them?

  But somehow I kept moving forward in spite of the fear that clawed at my belly. Another sound came from inside the dark little room. This time it was like a tapping noise, a popping so familiar it made me shiver.

  “W-what are you doing in there?”

  I inched closer, dread weighing down every step.

  What if it’s Cole in there, hurt?

  The thought sent my feet into overdrive. I scrambled into the room shoving my palm on the light switch. A dim discolored light revealed…nothing. Nothing other than more blood. It covered everything, bleeding into a lighter pink in the sink where someone had tried to wash the remnants of Mandi away.

  Mandi.

  My heart tripled in time and I rushed back to the bedroom.

  But what I saw on the wall above the TV stopped me in my tracks.

  You did this.

  Cole is next. Stay away from him.

  The words dripped down the off-white walls, written in blood. And that’s when it hit me, when it really slammed into me. Where every fiber of my being came alive. This is real.

  I screamed.

  “Ma’am, it’s procedure for us to check out everyone directly involved with the scene.”

  I blinked, staring up at the young paramedic standing over me. “What?”

  “Injuries. I want to see if you have any. Can I take a look at you?”

  “No. I’m fine.” I watched from where I sat on the pavement as they wheeled a gray body bag out of the motel room.

  “Let them look at you. Julia, please.”
<
br />   I turned to stare at Cole’s dark blue eyes. A different paramedic stood behind him, patching up a big split on the back of his head. They’d had to pry him away from me to look at his injury. He was the first one I remembered. I don’t know who called the police, but I knew once he was there, they were there too. He pulled me from the room, with blood dripping down his own face. His blood. The sight of it made me panic even more. Cole Maddon was a billionaire. Untouchable, god-like on every level, and yet he had been taken down by a blow to the head. The reality of this made the bloody message even more terrifying.

  “I’m not hurt. At all,” I muttered. “If I was I would let them look, but I’m not.” I swallowed hard. “The blood is all hers.”

  His gaze fluttered down my body and back up. I hadn’t changed. My white over-sized v-neck and plaid pajama pants were stained. I hadn’t seen my face, but I didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to see her blood on my skin.

  “You’re going to be okay, Julia.” There was utter conviction in his voice, his gaze seeming to look straight into my soul. “I’m going to get whoever did this,” Cole said. “They’re going to fucking pay.” His hand clenched around mine. He’d said these words over and over since he pulled me out of that room. His eyes and lips promising retribution.

  But how could he be certain? He said that before, yet here we were again. Only this time someone was dead. Mandi. My friend. I had so few people in my life who mattered to me, and she was one of them. I bit down on my cheek to keep from crying. Whoever this was, they were good. Fucking phenomenal at what they were doing. They found us when I thought we were hidden. They hit Cole over the head from behind, knocking him out. Then they murdered my friend.

  Cole is next. The words flashed in my mind, making my stomach churn with fear.

  No. I can’t let that happen.

  The tears came, flooding down my cheeks and blurring my line of sight. “Why is she doing this?”

  I knew it was Elaine. There was no one else in the world who would threaten me to keep me away from Cole. No one else who would care enough.

  “I don’t think it’s Elaine.”

  I jerked my hand out of his. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”