Army

by Wilder, Chiah

  Consternation filled the fine lines around Army’s eyes that had glints of anger in them. “Is that why you moved to Durango?”

  “Yeah.” Mia picked up her drink and drained it.

  “What happened?” Army asked in a low voice.

  “I need another drink for that.” She laughed, but her insides were twisted and her heart raced.

  Army gestured to the waiter, then he placed his hand over hers. “If it bothers you too much, you don’t have to talk about it.”

  Pressing her lips together, she shook her head. “It’s hard, but I do want to talk about it.” The waiter set down another margarita, and she grabbed the stem of the glass like it was a life raft. “I knew the guy. He was a friend of a friend who I’d met at a Christmas party two years after I moved to Tucson. I wanted to study cosmetology and break away from the craziness of my family, so I went to the big city. I earned my associates degree and was feeling pretty damn proud of myself when I went to the party. Gavin and I had some chemistry going the minute we met, and he said all the right things to me. We danced, laughed, and I felt like I’d met a really great guy.” Mia stared at the smiling sun imprinted on the table then traced her fingernail over the triangles around its face. “He called me and asked me out. We had a nice dinner, good conversation, and I felt okay. I didn’t get the vibes that he was a creep or something wasn’t right with him. After dinner he asked if I’d ever been to “A” mountain and I said no, so he suggested a drive to it. I’d heard it was a the perfect place to see the whole city, and even though a small warning light went off inside me, I ignored it and agreed to go.”

  Army grasped her hand and held it, and the warmth from his skin on hers calmed her. She looked up at him. “Long story short, he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I kicked, screamed, and scratched, but I still couldn’t protect myself. He just got madder, hit me harder, then … well …”

  “What a fuckin’ bastard,” Army gritted, his gaze narrowed.

  “Yeah … I’d say that. And the fucking sick part was that he didn’t think he did anything wrong. He thought it was his right to do whatever the hell he wanted. The asshole dropped me off at my apartment and said he had a nice time and would call me.” She blinked rapidly.

  Army reached out and stroked her face with his other hand. “He should’ve been taught a lesson. Did you turn him in?”

  She shook her head. “I was so embarrassed and humiliated that all I wanted to do was forget the whole thing. I kept thinking that I shouldn’t have worn the skirt or the blouse that I did. I doubted everything I’d done that night, convinced that I’d somehow caused him to do what he did.”

  “The fucker was one hundred percent at fault. You said no, babe.”

  “I know that now, but it’s taken me a long time and years of therapy to realize it. After it happened, I stopped hanging out with my friend because she was always asking why I didn’t want to go out with Gavin anymore. I stayed in the victim mindset until a good friend of mine told me about a class they were teaching at a local gym on self-defense. I went with her, and the rush I got after that first training was something I’d never experienced. I felt liberated, so I signed up and then went on to learn jiu-jitsu, and I’ve never looked back. I didn’t even think about competing until Sergio—my trainer in Tucson—suggested it. I thought if I could win, I could show that I really can kick ass.” She laughed as the memory of the pride she felt after her first win flitted through her mind.

  “And you can kick ass.” Army leaned across the table and before she could react, he’d brushed his lips against hers, in a soft, quick kiss. “You’re a survivor, babe.” He leaned back in the chair and held her gaze.

  Mia cleared her throat and shifted in the chair. “It’s your turn.” The noise in the restaurant filled in the silence as Army drank his beer. “Besides my therapist, you’re the only one who knows the truth about what happened. It’s only fair you share something about you that you keep deep inside.” Dunking the chip in the salsa, she brought it to her mouth.

  Softness erased the tightness he’d had on his face as she told him her story. “I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me.”

  “I do.” And she wasn’t exactly sure why. Normally, she guarded her privacy like a trained pit bull, but for some reason it felt okay—no … better than okay, it felt right, and that blew her away.

  “I didn’t know that not being able to talk about how sexy you look in your jeans, and how pretty your eyes shine, was gonna make me spill my guts.”

  Playfully hitting his arm, she chuckled. “I didn’t tell you what you could and couldn’t say.”

  “You told me I couldn’t say anything about you being a woman. You wanted me to treat you like a buddy.”

  “I think you’re trying to get out of telling me what I asked.”

  The waiter put a steaming and sizzling plate of steak fajitas in front of her and a dish of Mexican steak and shrimp in front of Army. His twinkling eyes resembled chips of blue topaz glittering under the sun. Picking up his fork, he winked at her then dove into his food.

  “You’re not getting off that easily,” she said, pouring salsa over the steak and green peppers.

  Army raised his finger while chewing as if to say, “Give me a minute,” then he picked up the beer bottle and took a swig.

  “Okay. Let’s see. My dad collects wives.” He put another forkful of food in his mouth.

  “How many does he have?”

  He raised four fingers.

  “Which number was your mom?”

  “The first. He’s divorced again and working on number five. He met her not too long ago, and he already moved her into the house.”

  “How old were you when your parents divorced?” Mia picked up a corn tortilla and filled it with steak and guacamole.

  Army kept eating and chewing … and looking everywhere but at her. I think I found his dark spot. “Divorce is really hard on kids,” she said.

  “My mom didn’t wait around for the divorce, she fuckin’ blew.” Another large bite.

  Waiting until he’d swallowed, Mia asked, “Did you get to see your dad a lot when you were growing up?”

  “My brothers and I lived with our dad. My mom left all of us for a sonofabitch.” Army nodded as he looked at Mia. “You’re surprised and you fuckin’ should be because moms aren’t supposed to do that shit.”

  “How old were you?” she asked softly.

  “Nine.”

  Her heart ached for the nine-year-old boy who was still trapped inside the man. “That’s real tough.”

  Army shrugged. “It’s whatever.”

  “Is your dad a bigamist?”

  His face crinkled in laughter. “I gotta tell my brothers that one. I wish he was—that’d be fuckin’ awesome. You know, raising your middle finger at the establishment. Unfortunately, my dad plays by the rules, so he divorced my mom. He found out she was living in Madison, Wisconsin, with the asshole, so he served the papers there.”

  “Have you ever tried to get in contact with her?”

  His expression tightened. “No fuckin’ way. My dad’s lived in the same house we grew up in. She knows it.”

  Sensing that he was more than bitter and angry, she decided to back off. “Have you ever been married?”

  He jerked his head back and laughed. “Fuck no. Never plan to either. It’s a crock of shit invented by the establishment to get more taxes and stick their fuckin’ noses into people’s personal lives.”

  “Ooo … kay.” Her eyes widened and she looked sideways.

  “What about you?”

  “Not yet. I bet you have a lot of girlfriends.” Why do I care about the women in his life?

  “I don’t have girlfriends, but … yeah … I have a lot of chicks wanting to hook up with me.”

  “Anyone currently?” I wish I could keep my damn mouth shut!

  A big grin lit up his face. “I’m not fuckin’ anyone right now if that’s what you wanna know. I also use a condom when I fu
ck, and I get tested regularly. I’m clean.” He winked and she froze, wanting nothing more than to disappear into the floor’s terra cotta tiles. “Is the food too spicy? You’re all flushed.”

  “Yeah, the jalapeños are a bit much.” Talk about too much information. Damn. She picked up her water glass.

  “You got anyone around?” There was a slight edge in his voice.

  “No. I broke up with a guy about five months ago, and I’ve been focusing on my business and training.”

  “Everyone needs to play a little.” His gaze bored into her.

  “Do they call you Army because you were in the military?”

  His gaze never wavering, he nodded. “Served four years. I did three tours of duty in Afghanistan. Fucked-up mess over there.”

  “I bet that was tough.”

  “Life’s always tough. So, you do hair?”

  “I do. I have my own booth at Salon on the Boulevard. I love being my own boss even if my pay fluctuates from month to month. You don’t like talking about things that bother you, do you? I mean, I notice when we start talking about something deep, you change the subject. Sometimes it’s good to let things out.”

  Army sat back and folded his arms against his chest. “You think talking about how I killed people who were in the wrong village at the wrong time is gonna make it seem right? You’re wrong. And if you think talking about my mom, who abandoned her kids because she was a selfish bitch is gonna make me feel better, you’re wrong about that too. Life is the way it is. Sometimes it’s great and sometimes it’s shit, but the way you react to the shit determines if you’re a survivor or a victim. That’s the way I look at it.”

  Mia wanted to tell him that not dealing with the deep hurt or the horror of things can affect the present and the future. She could tell just from their short conversation that Army was still hurt over his mother’s abandonment, and that was probably why he only had hookups. He probably doesn’t trust women.

  “Do you want another drink?” Army asked.

  Again, he was changing the subject, but she didn’t want to push him. After all, this was their first date, and probably their last because she had no intention of sleeping with him that night even though her body had been humming since he’d briefly kissed her.

  “No thanks. How do you like your food?”

  “It’s damn good.” He pushed his plate away. “I’m having a good time.”

  “Don’t sound so surprised.” She propped her elbows on the table. “I’m having a good time too.” Then she leaned forward and he met her halfway and their lips pressed together in a warm and tingly kiss. He threaded his fingers in her hair, pulling her closer as she gave herself into the pleasure of the kiss.

  A few minutes later, she pulled back, and the thrill of his heated gaze tingled over her skin. For an endless moment they stared at each other, then Army took her hand and brought it to his lips. “You do something to me I can’t fuckin’ explain,” he said hoarsely.

  “Do you want any dessert? Sopapillas?” the waiter asked as he cleared away their dishes.

  Breathing deeply, Mia struggled to regain her senses.

  “Fried ice cream? Flan?” The server darted his eyes between them.

  “Nothing for me, thank you.”

  “Just another beer for me,” Army said, his gaze still on hers.

  When the waiter left, Mia stood up. “I have to go to the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.” She couldn’t get to the bathroom fast enough. The intensity between them startled and thrilled her, but she didn’t want to get mixed up with a guy who was only interested in casual hookups. Staring at her reflection, she groaned when she saw the sparkle in her eyes and the glow on her face. “You know he’s danger. He just wants to fuck. A no-strings-attached deal. You’re better than that.”

  The door swung open and two women walked in, both dressed like they were planning on going clubbing later on. The woman with deep plum hair took out a wand and swiped it over her lips. “If they’re duds at the club, we’ll ditch them. Agreed?”

  Her companion, a short brunette nodded. “Or if we meet someone like that hunk sitting across from us. Did you see his arms? They’re delicious and I’d love to get up and personal with all his tattoos.”

  “He looks like a model for a cover of a romance novel. You know the ones about alpha males.”

  “Why aren’t there any guys like that on Tinder?” the brunette said.

  Mia went into the stall and leaned against the cool metal door. I can’t get involved with him. Over and over she repeated the sentence, but each time, the feel of Army’s lips on hers overpowered her mantra. I can’t. He doesn’t even live here. I’d just be another name on his long list of conquests. But he was being so nice and respectful, and he acted like he really cared when she’d told him what had happened to her. Mia, don’t. You can’t get involved with Army.

  A few more women entered the small bathroom, and she picked up her purse and came out of the stall. After washing her hands and reapplying her lipstick, she walked out. When she approached the table, she noticed the two women in the bathroom who’d been drooling over some guy look at her, then at Army. The hot dude they were talking about was Army. Smiling, she pulled out her chair and sat down, an unexplained thread of pride wove itself around her as the women wistfully looked away.

  After Army paid the bill, they walked out into the night. The moon cast a silvery glow, and the dark silhouette of oak trees stood out boldly against the starry sky. Mia tugged her hand away when Army clutched it, and she tucked it into the pocket of her leather jacket and kept walking to the car, the scrape of her heels on the concrete the only sound between them.

  On the ride home, the melodic beats of “Something to Believe In” and Army’s deep voice singing along with Bret Michaels’s soulful one filled the car. Mia looked out the passenger window as her body shivered with every note Army sang. How could her body keep betraying her? This can’t work. It just can’t. When the familiar lampposts came into view, Mia sucked in a long, slow breath. After pulling in the driveway, she practically jumped out of the car in an anxious attempt to hide away behind the safety of her home.

  “What the fuck?” Army asked as she leapt from the parked car and dashed across the lawn.

  Leaves rustled and crushed behind her, and she knew he was following her. As Mia made her way to the porch, she fished through her purse for the keys, cursing all the crap she had inside it that made it near impossible to find them.

  “You gotta pee or something?” Army said.

  Sweaty from her mad dash, Mia stopped in front of the door and erupted in laughter.

  “Well, do you?” Army took a few steps then hovered over her, his hands flat against the door. She tried to suppress her laughs but she ended up sputtering like an old faucet. Hiding her face in her hands, she leaned against the front door and heard the meows of Pumpkin and Snickers.

  “What’s so funny?” He chuckled.

  Her hands slipped away from her face. “Hell, if I know,” she managed to get out between gulps.

  “I like hearing you laugh.” His voice was husky and deep and so damn sexy.

  Mia tilted her chin up and met eyes that held such desire in their dark blue depths, she trembled. Common sense reared its head and screamed, Go inside! She knew she should listen to it, but her body wouldn’t let her.

  “I better go,” she said feebly, ignoring the shivers rippling over her skin.

  “I’m not stopping you,” Army whispered, kissing her ear and then her throat, feathery kisses that made her want to surrender and have a night of hot, passionate sex.

  Open the door, thank him for the night, and go inside.

  When he ran his tongue up her neck, then past her chin, a moan climbed up her throat. “Mia,” he said in a low voice, then his lips brushed hers and it was like spark to tinder. Ears pulsing, she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her fingers in his hair.

  His strong arms jerked her flush against him, and hi
s mouth crushed over hers, his tongue delving deep.

  Sensations crawled wild through her veins as she kissed him back passionately … wildly. Digging her nails in the nape of his neck, she pulled herself deeper into the embrace, thrusting her hips against him and feeling the hardness of his erection. His hand skimmed down her back and rested on one of her ass cheeks as his fingers kneaded through the fabric, squeezing while he groaned into her mouth.

  Army’s kisses and touch sent a carnal tremor down her spine, and when he began to slip his hand inside her waistband, she gripped it and pushed it away.

  “You’re not gonna let me touch you?” he whispered against the shell of her ear.

  “I just don’t want things to get out of control,” she said softly, pulling back a bit.

  “They’re already outta control. You’re not feeling it?”

  “That’s not the point.”

  “I guess you answered my question,” he said huskily against her neck.

  “Army—”

  “Don’t fight it—feel it,” he whispered in her ear and ran his lips the length of it.

  Mia held her breath then yanked her purse in front of her to separate them. She exhaled slowly and avoided his captivating gaze. “I really have to go. I hope you understand.” After pulling out her keys, Mia turned around and opened the door a crack. Her two cats meowed loudly. She looked over her shoulder at him. “Thanks for dinner.”

  “That’s it?” He shoved his hands in his pockets.

  Opening the door a bit more, she slipped inside and turned off the alarm. A long yawn of foyer light winked onto the porch’s concrete floor. Pumpkin and Snickers rubbed against her legs as she bent down to pet them, then went back to the front and looked at Army. “I had a good time, but I’m sorry if you’re upset with me.”

  “I’m not pissed at you. If you want to stop … okay.” He smiled at her and her heart pounded. “You free tomorrow night?”

  “I’m training, but maybe after?” She bit the inside of her cheek.

  “That’s cool. I can come by the gym. I’m thinking eight or nine. We can get a drink.”