Remember Me: The gripping psychological thriller with a jaw-dropping twist.

by Lynda Renham

  ‘I thought I’d gone over the bridge,’ she says. ‘I couldn’t see. My head throbbed and …’

  ‘You crawled out and the car went over the bridge.’

  ‘How can you tell me what happened? I was there.’

  She struggled not to raise her voice.

  ‘Do you need some water, maybe a tablet?’ asked Leah.

  ‘I was pulled from the car. I couldn’t move.’

  ‘You were unconscious when they found you.’ Leah’s voice was soft.

  ‘Everything was hazy but the car was hanging over the edge of the bridge. Someone came. They helped me, they got us out of the car and then …’

  ‘There’s no evidence of anyone being there. You had a really bad knock on the head and …’

  ‘I saw …’

  ‘The mind plays tricks.’

  The hand on the clock clicked. She looked up in surprise. It was two o’clock. She turned back to Leah. She was looking at her diary.

  ‘Next Thursday okay?’

  ‘Fine,’ she said, but I haven’t finished she wanted to shout. I can’t put my life on hold until next Thursday.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ‘You look gorgeous,’ Julia says.

  I fiddle with my hair self-consciously.

  ‘Thanks, I wasn’t sure what to wear.’

  I was nervous stepping into the foyer. It was the first time I’d been to a big school function and also the first time for years I’d attended anything like this with Chris. He looks handsome in his crisp white shirt and bow tie. I bought the pale blue evening dress especially and spent ages curling my hair only to change my mind and tie it back.

  ‘It’s going to be a good night,’ says Julia, looking at Chris.

  ‘This is my husband,’ I say.

  ‘Hi,’ says Chris, shaking her hand.

  Music pours from the sound system in the hall and small groups of partygoers jiggle to the music as they sip their champagne. I’m feeling relaxed. The champagne reception is helping. I’ve allowed myself one drink and then I’m sticking to diet coke. I’d agreed to drive. A cab would have been extravagant.

  ‘No holds barred tonight,’ laughs Julia. ‘I think the champagne was donated by a parent.’

  ‘Rich parent,’ laughs Chris.

  The mention of money reminds me of the uncomfortable moment earlier when we’d been about to leave the house. Kathryn had arrived, early as usual, and I’d opened the door to her just as Tom and Sharni were getting into their car. Sharni said I looked nice but I felt a reprimand in her voice. It was almost as if she was angry because she didn’t know we were going out. I’d told her we were off to the school Christmas party but I felt embarrassed and didn’t know why. She’d glanced at Kathryn and said in a hurtful tone that they would have babysat. The presumption that we would always give Ben to her annoyed me. I told her that I hadn’t thought of asking and almost apologised, but of course I had thought about asking Sharni. When I closed the door my face was red. I’d felt guilty and had no idea why.

  Chris was more worried about upsetting Sharni and said that we don’t want to offend her, especially as she is having Ben on my teaching days, and that it would have saved paying Kathryn. I’d gaped at him and said that I’m not going to be blackmailed. I felt the irritation rise up inside me. It seems every time Sharni’s name is mentioned we argue.

  ‘Let’s have a good time shall we,’ Chris says, interrupting my thoughts. I take his arm and we move into the hall where tables are laid for dinner. I look around the crowded hall for Helen.

  ‘Good to see you,’ says Geoff.

  ‘This is my husband Chris,’ I say proudly.

  ‘Glad you could make it. Have a nice evening.’

  I pull Chris over to the table plan and sigh with relief when I see we’re seated with Helen.

  ‘Oh brilliant,’ groans Chris.

  *

  The party is in full swing and I watch as Helen glides around the dance floor. The disco lights flash around us. I sip my diet coke before texting Kathryn.

  Is everything okay? We’ll be leaving soon.

  Kathryn texts back a thumbs up and smiley face. I push my phone to Chris.

  ‘It’s almost ten-thirty, we should go soon.’

  ‘You’re not going already are you?’ Helen says, lurching towards us.

  ‘We have to get back to the babysitter,’ I say, finishing the last of my coke.

  ‘You’ll miss the speeches,’ slurs Julia.

  ‘I’m sure Sharni would be happy to have him for another hour,’ grins Helen.

  ‘Sharni isn’t babysitting,’ I say.

  ‘Best to stay for speeches,’ says Chris. ‘I’ll get another beer.’

  ‘Why couldn’t Sharni babyshit?’ Helen asks, causing Julia to burst out laughing. I sigh. There’s nothing worse than being sober when everyone else is drunk.

  ‘She’s great is Sharni,’ Helen tells Julia. ‘She babysits for free.’

  I look to the bar. I really think it’s time to leave.

  ‘That’s good of her,’ says Julia, rubbing her eyes.

  ‘They’re good pals, aren’t you?’ says Helen loudly.

  I strain to look for Chris.

  ‘I’m just going to get Chris,’ I say as I stand up.

  ‘She’s even arranging an anniversary dinner for them. Seven year special. How nice is that? Getting all their mates to come and …’ Helen clamps a hand to her mouth.

  ‘Whoops,’ she giggles. ‘You probably don’t know about that yet.’

  I must have snapped my head around so sharply for I hear a crack and feel a pain shoot down my shoulder.

  ‘What anniversary party?’

  ‘Clare?’ Chris says from behind me. There’s concern in his voice. I spin round. His face tells me everything.

  ‘You know about this?’

  ‘I haven’t had time to talk to you …’

  ‘Oops, sorry,’ says Helen, wincing.

  I must stay calm. It’s a nice thing that Sharni wants to do, but for Helen to know and Chris … Why hadn’t someone told me?

  ‘She asked me if I could make it,’ says Helen, placing her hand on my arm. ‘She wants to make it nice for you. Have all your friends there and stuff.’

  I meet Chris’s eyes.

  ‘She wants to take us to Chez Pierre in town. She wanted to ask you if the restaurant was okay. I said I’d ask you and what with the Hinski contract I forgot.’

  ‘What a nice thing to do,’ says Julia, slurping her coffee.

  ‘Anyone else for coffee?’ Helen asks.

  ‘I think we should get back to Ben,’ I say.

  *

  ‘It’s a nice thought,’ says Chris in the car.

  ‘Yes,’ I say. ‘I guess it is, although I would have preferred to have gone out just the two of us.’

  ‘You shouldn’t have told her it was our anniversary then,’ he says pushing his head back against the seat. ‘It was a good do tonight.’

  ‘I thought you told her,’ I say, my hands gripping the steering wheel.

  ‘Me, no, I barely remember it myself, let alone remember to tell someone else.’

  ‘I don’t remember telling her,’ I say.

  ‘Your memory,’ he laughs.

  My hands tingle and I release the pressure on the steering wheel. I didn’t forget that I’d told Sharni about our anniversary. I don’t forget things I don’t say, and I didn’t tell Sharni it was our seventh anniversary. The only person who could have told her is Chris, but why would he lie?

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  ‘I don’t know of anyone, Mrs Ryan. I’m really sorry,’ apologises Kathryn.

  ‘That’s okay, thanks anyway.’

  I click off the phone and chew my fingernails. Ben grabs my necklace and tries to put it into his mouth. I gently remove it and sigh. I’m feeling desperate. I really don’t want to face Sharni this morning but I can’t seem to find anyone else to have Ben. I feel trapped. I wish there was somewhere else for Ben
to go. There is no point talking to Chris. He is taken up with his new contract. I’m starting to wish he’d never got it, which is horrid of me, but he is so preoccupied with it these days.

  I check the time and sigh. It’s no good. I’ll have to take Ben to Sharni. I lock the front door and push the stroller up her driveway, my feet crunch on the gravel, announcing my arrival. She opens the door before I’m even halfway.

  ‘You’re late,’ she says, her eyes flashing.

  ‘We overslept,’ I lie. How dare she tell me off? I am tempted to turn on my heel and take Ben to work with me, but the thought of Chris’s anger stops me. I take a deep breath and ignore the pounding of my heart. I lift Ben from the stroller and she takes him from me.

  ‘Sharni, about the anniversary dinner you’ve arranged …’

  ‘Is that restaurant okay?’ she asks, with her head tilted.

  ‘It’s just I really wanted to spend that evening on my own with Chris.’

  Her lips tighten.

  ‘Oh, of course, I should have realised. I’ll cancel it.’

  ‘It was nice of you to …’ I begin.

  ‘Not a problem. Maybe we could all do something on the Saturday. I obviously misunderstood Chris. I thought it was all okay.’

  ‘Misunderstood?’ I question.

  ‘When I saw Chris at his office the other day, we were joking about the seven year itch and all that, so maybe I just misunderstood what he said. I thought he was keen but I must have got that wrong.’

  My head begins to spin. What was she doing at Chris’s office, and why didn’t he mention it? And why in God’s name was he talking about the seven year itch with her?

  ‘He said he would tell you.’

  ‘He did tell me,’ I say.

  ‘Well, not to worry. Did you have a nice time on Saturday?’ she asks.

  Ben had leaned over and was clutching my necklace. She pulls him back a bit too quickly and the Celtic harp comes off the chain.

  ‘Oh no,’ she says.

  I prize it from Ben’s hand.

  ‘Leave it with us and we’ll get it repaired,’ she says, reaching to take it.

  ‘It’s okay,’ I say.

  ‘It’s the least I can do,’ she says, taking it out of my hand.

  ‘I know a jeweller who can do it. We’ll see you later then,’ she smiles, but the smile doesn’t reach her eyes.

  I hurry to my car and angrily tap a message to Chris.

  When was Sharni in your office?

  I rummage through my bag with shaky hands and pull out the diazepam. I need to find somewhere else for Ben. I’ll ask around the school. Surely there is someone who can have him. Anyone would be preferable to Sharni.

  *

  ‘Isn’t Sharni great,’ says Helen as she greets me in the staffroom.

  It’s the last thing I need to hear.

  ‘What?’ I say. The last person I expected Helen to call great was Sharni.

  ‘The bloody photographer we booked for the Christmas photos has let us down. No bloody reason. I emailed Sharni. She phoned me first thing this morning. She’s going to do them at cost price.’

  I gape at her.

  ‘When did you email her?’

  ‘Yesterday, I did mean to text you but it got a bit chaotic here. Julia’s gone down with a stomach bug.’

  ‘She didn’t mention it but I was a bit late this morning. Helen, I need someone else to look after Ben.’

  She looks surprised.

  ‘Oh, I thought you couldn’t find anywhere,’ she says clicking on the kettle. ‘Christ, is that the time? I thought I had time for one coffee. Where does it go?’

  ‘I don’t feel I can trust her and …’

  She lifts her coffee mug, ‘Do you want one?’

  I shake my head.

  ‘She seems okay,’ she smiles. ‘Maybe it is us not being charitable enough.’

  ‘But I thought you didn’t like her? You used to say she was too good to be true.’

  ‘Yeah, but, she’s been good to you hasn’t she? Taking Ben for nothing and wanting to arrange something nice for your anniversary. I wish I had a friend like that. I honestly thought she’d tell me where to go when I asked about the school photos. I mean, I have been a bit off with her but she was as nice as pie.’

  I grind my teeth.

  ‘That’s what she’s like. Too nice. You said so yourself.’

  She shrugs.

  ‘I don’t really know her. All I know is she’s got us out of a right fix, so I’m dead grateful.’

  *

  The rehearsal is running late. I haven’t heard back from Chris and haven’t had a second to message him again. It’s almost four-thirty and my class haven’t had their run through yet. They’re fidgety and irritable. Geoff sees me looking at my phone and comes over. I shove the phone into my bag and smile.

  ‘Everything okay?’ he asks.

  I nod.

  ‘No problem. I just need to let my sitter know I’m going to be late.’

  ‘Yes, I’m sorry we’re going overtime.’

  I hurry into the hall and phone Sharni. Her phone rings and rings. I click off and send a text.

  Running late, school concert rehearsal going over time, I hope all is okay.

  I watch but it isn’t delivered. Damn. I copy the text and send it via WhatsApp and wait for the blue tick to show it has been read. It doesn’t. I try Chris’s phone but he doesn’t answer either. I throw the phone into my bag and return to the hall.

  ‘I can’t get hold of Sharni,’ I tell Helen. ‘My texts aren’t being delivered.’

  I go to fiddle with my necklace and remember it isn’t there. Where the hell is Sharni and where is Chris? I take a deep breath.

  ‘I’m sure everything is okay,’ Helen says, sensing my anxiety. ‘She seems very capable.’

  ‘But it’s gone four-thirty and it’s getting dark. She wouldn’t be out with Ben at this time.’

  ‘Perhaps her battery has died,’ she says, but Sharni doesn’t strike me the type of person that would let her battery die.

  ‘I don’t think you should get so worried. Anyone would think you’d left your child with a psychopath. Oh, you’re up.’ She points to the stage where Geoff is beckoning to me. I usher the kids forward and see that my hands are shaking.

  ‘Okay, let’s wrap this up shall we. We have some impatient parents waiting outside,’ he laughs.

  I strain to see my phone but it’s at the bottom of my handbag. I sit through the rehearsal with a knotted stomach. I try to smile at the right times and encourage the little shepherds, but all I can think about is Ben. The hall feels stuffy and hot, and the high-pitched voices of the children singing nativity songs seem to last forever. Finally Geoff winds things up and the children rush for their coats and scarves and hurry out to their parents. I pull my phone out and see there are no messages or missed calls.

  I grab my coat and hurry to my car only to find I’m blocked in by one of the parent’s cars. I try Chris’s phone again and finally he answers.

  ‘Where have you been?’ I yell. ‘I’ve been trying to get hold of you.’

  ‘Clare, what’s the matter? Has something happened?’

  ‘I’ve been messaging you. I’m running really late. I can’t get hold of Sharni. When will you be home?’

  ‘I’ve only just seen your messages. I had a meeting and there was no reception. As for Sharni …’

  ‘Where was the meeting?’ I demand.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Where was your meeting? Who was it with?’

  There’s silence. Is he struggling to think of a reply?

  ‘Chris,’ I say angrily.

  The parent whose car has blocked me in is chatting to another parent. They laugh loudly and I feel my blood boil.

  ‘Can you move your car? I need to get home,’ I shout from the window. ‘We haven’t all got time to waste.’

  ‘Clare, calm down,’ Chris calls down the phone.

  ‘Oh sorry,’ says the p
arent, looking embarrassed. ‘I didn’t realise.’

  I close the window and take a deep breath.

  ‘I don’t like being interrogated,’ Chris says in a hurt voice. ‘I can’t go through this jealousy thing of yours again, Clare. I really thought having Ben would …’

  ‘When will you be home?’ I butt in.

  ‘I’ll be leaving soon. I’m seeing Mike to discuss something to do with the Hinski contract and then I’ll leave.’

  ‘That bloody Hinski contract,’ I snap and click off my phone before shooting out of the car park. I look down at the phone. My messages to Sharni still haven’t been read.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I’m shaking so much that my foot slips off the accelerator and the car jerks. I let out a small sob and pull into a lay-by where I rest my head on the steering wheel. What’s happening? Ever since Sharni and Tom arrived it feels like my life has been spiralling out of control. I can’t remember things and when I do Chris makes me doubt myself. I’m leaving my child with a woman I can’t trust. Did I ever trust her? I struggle to think. Is it me? Am I losing my grip? I was anxious even before Sharni moved next door. While Ben is young I am going to be anxious and even fearful, like when the police came to the house. It’s always going to be there, although I know it’s stupid. I have every right to happiness. I deserve it. I’m a good mother, not like some who neglect their children. I’d never do that, not ever. Women like that don’t deserve children. I clench my hands until my nails dig into the palm. My heart begins to slow and I wipe the perspiration from my face. I have to find somewhere else for Ben, but where? I’ll look at nurseries outside Kensington. It’ll mean leaving earlier but I can cope with that. Chances are they’ll be cheaper too. I sigh. The children might be rougher though, and I really don’t want Ben mixing with mean kids. Most likely their mothers are neglectful. Why did I listen to Chris? I fight to get things in perspective. Sharni hadn’t done anything to hurt Ben and now even Helen is growing to like her. Maybe it is me. Maybe she is just keen to please. But I can’t help feeling Sharni is more interested in my life than she is in her own and that seems wrong. My phone rings and I look down to see it is Chris.