Remember Me: The gripping psychological thriller with a jaw-dropping twist.

by Lynda Renham

  ‘I’m worried about you,’ he says.

  ‘I’m okay.’

  ‘Are you driving?’

  ‘I stopped to answer your call.’ I don’t want to tell him I had to stop to calm down.

  ‘There are a few issues Mike wants to iron out with the Hinksi contract. I know you can’t stand it but …’

  ‘Okay,’ I say, feeling defeated.

  ‘It’s my job Clare.’

  A tiny voice in my head whispers that he’s with Sharni and I try to ignore it.

  ‘I’ll try not to be too late.’

  ‘I’ll see you in a bit,’ I say.

  ‘Try to calm down.’

  ‘Yes.’

  I hear him sigh.

  ‘I don’t know what’s going through your head Clare, but I can tell you it’s all stupid.’

  I hang up and check my messages. There’s no response from Sharni. It’s now quarter to six. It’s way past Ben’s tea time. I start the engine and drive home.

  *

  Sharni’s house is in darkness. There are no cars in the drive. I hammer on the door while knowing no one will answer. I walk to the back door and let myself in with the key under the paint pot. I hurry into the living room. The room is tidy; no sign of a child having been there. I rush upstairs to their bedroom calling Ben’s name as I do so. Where the fuck is she? What has she done with my child? I grab my phone to call Chris and then stop. What do I tell him? Sharni isn’t back with Ben and she hasn’t let me know what’s happening. He’ll say I’m overreacting. I’m about to throw my phone back into my bag when it rings. It’s Sharni. I feel sick. I click it on and mumble, ‘hello’.

  ‘Hi Clare, it’s me.’

  Her voice is bright and cheery. Surely if anything had happened to Ben, she wouldn’t sound like this. Relief floods through my body.

  ‘I’ve had no signal. I had to pop into the office. They had a crisis and I had to help out. We were in the basement. Ben’s great. He’s had loads of attention and loads of new toys. Ooh, and I got your necklace repaired. I’m really sorry we’re late. I’ve given Ben his tea and …’

  ‘When will you be back?’ I interrupt.

  ‘In twenty minutes but traffic is really bad.’

  I’m so relieved to hear her voice that I can barely muster up any anger. I sit on her bed.

  ‘Okay,’ I mumble.

  ‘See you soon.’

  ‘Okay.’

  I look at the phone and burst into tears. How can I complain about her now she has phoned, got my necklace repaired and also fed Ben? Why does she always manage to get the better of me? Why is it I always look like the crazy one? I realise I am still in her house and pull myself off the bed and straighten the duvet. It’s brushed cotton, different to ours after all. I glance at The Lovely Bones on her bedside table and wipe the tears from my cheeks. The book still looks unread.

  I get home and I’ve barely got the key in my door when Mrs Riley rushes over with a package.

  ‘Woo hoo, Mrs Ryan. This came for you today. Your neighbour was out too so they asked if I’d take it.’

  It’s an Amazon delivery, a CD I’d ordered for Chris. I thought I would give it to him on our anniversary. Sharni’s words about the seven year itch play on my mind again.

  ‘She looks after your boy then?’

  ‘What?’ I say, pulling my mind back to the present.

  ‘Your neighbour, she looks after your boy?’

  I nod.

  ‘Thanks for this.’

  ‘Saw your husband going in there the other day. She likes your menfolk doesn’t she?’

  My stomach flips.

  ‘Oh, what day was that?’ I say casually, trying not to let my voice shake.

  ‘The day you were at work,’ she says and turns to walk back to her house.

  *

  I go to punch in Helen’s number and then it occurs to me that Helen may not believe me either. It’s then I realise I don’t have anyone to call. I’m alone and no one believes me. Everyone thinks I’m overly anxious. Even my doctor thinks I’m neurotic. The house is cold and it takes ages for the heating to kick in. I make tea and take a diazepam. I don’t bother writing it in the book. There seems little point.

  Sharni knocks on the door twenty minutes later and I can’t look her in the eye. She smiles. I notice Ben is holding another new toy.

  ‘Sorry we’re late,’ she apologises. ‘The traffic was crazy. He’s great though and here’s your necklace.’

  I don’t trust myself to say anything so just mumble a thank you.

  ‘Is Chris not home?’ she asks casually.

  I shake my head.

  ‘He’s going to be late.’

  ‘You look knackered,’ she comments.

  ‘It’s been a long day.’

  ‘I’ll leave you to it then. Bye bye Sweet Pea,’ she says, leaning forward to kiss Ben, but I pull him away and take off his hat. He struggles and I again pull him to me. He cries and lashes out at my face.

  ‘Mama,’ he says, reaching out to Sharni and a knife twists through my heart. In that moment I want to twist a knife in Sharni’s stomach.

  ‘Bless him,’ she says.

  I nod and then thankfully she is gone.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  ‘I’ve looked everywhere,’ I shout over Ben’s screaming. ‘You’ll have to go next door and get it.’

  ‘It must be here somewhere,’ argues Chris, rummaging through the wardrobe.

  ‘It’s not and he’ll never go to sleep without it. You know what he’s like about his comfort blanket.’

  ‘Can’t you phone her?’

  ‘For fuck’s sake Chris, what’s the problem? You don’t mind going round there to see her when it suits you, do you?’

  His shoulders tense and he looks uncomfortable.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ he asks hoarsely.

  I sigh heavily. I really don’t want to talk about it now, not while Ben’s playing up. Why the hell didn’t Sharni give me the comfort blanket?

  ‘Can you please just get the bloody blanket?’

  I move the linen basket to check it hasn’t fallen behind it. The room is a muddle. I’ve felt so knackered lately that it has felt like too big an effort to clean through the house too.

  Chris trips over one of Ben’s toys and then I hear his footsteps on the stairs. The front door slams and I exhale heavily. Ben hasn’t stopped screaming since Sharni dropped him off. He won’t go to sleep and his screams are giving me a migraine. I carry him downstairs and wait. I strain my ears to hear what is happening next door but all is silent. Minutes later Chris returns with Sharni. I feel the hairs bristle on the back of my neck.

  ‘Sharni doesn’t have it,’ says Chris simply.

  ‘I gave it to you,’ Sharni says. ‘When you picked Ben up, I gave you everything.’

  She’s lying, she has to be. The blanket isn’t here and I know I gave it to her this morning. Chris gives me that look. The look I’m getting to know so well. I know damn well she didn’t give me the blanket.

  ‘Try his rabbit,’ she says. ‘He loves it. He cuddled it all afternoon.’

  ‘That won’t work,’ I snap.

  Chris looks apologetically at Sharni and I fight back the urge to slap him. Does he have to make it so bloody obvious that he fancies her?

  ‘Here you are Sweet Pea,’ she says, moving close to Ben. ‘Shall we sing to it?’

  She wipes a tear from his cheek and Ben calms down. He makes a little whimpering sound and cuddles the rabbit.

  ‘I think you should move in,’ jokes Chris.

  ‘And I’ll move out,’ I say caustically.

  ‘I didn’t mean …’ begins Sharni, looking at Chris.

  I scoop up Ben and brush past them both and up the stairs to the bedroom.

  *

  I ring my hands and stare at Chris’s iPhone. Its past midnight and I can’t sleep. I tap in his password and with my breath held scroll through his text messages. Sharni’s name seems to
scream at me and I want to march upstairs and throw the phone at him and call him a lying deceiving bastard. Sharni is in his contacts. I read the thread with my hand gripping the phone so tightly that my knuckles turn white.

  I can pop round tomorrow for about an hour. Will you be around?

  ‘Yes, great, look forward to it.’

  Oh God, he’d actually been round there when Ben was with her. I check his call log and see he has phoned Sharni several times. There’s nothing to indicate he was with her today though.

  I take two diazepam tablets and pull a bottle of wine from the fridge. I try to ignore how few pills are left in the bottle. It feels like my life is crumbling. I can’t believe Chris is having an affair with Sharni. I should write the number of pills into the notebook. I throw back some of the wine and shudder. It’s acidic and sharp on my tongue. Tears prick my eyelids. I don’t know what to do. I’ve got to find somewhere for Ben. Maybe things aren’t what they seem. I’ll speak to Chris in the morning. I must stay calm. I need to get some perspective but after another glass of wine I find myself standing at the foot of the bed shouting abuse at him. Ben wakes up and screams.

  ‘Mama, mama,’ he cries.

  ‘Mama’s here,’ I say. But when I take him into my arms, he struggles.

  ‘Mama,’ he bellows.

  ‘I hate you,’ I scream at Chris. ‘You’ve been lying to me.’

  ‘You’re upsetting him, for Christ’s sake calm down.’

  ‘You were with her tonight weren’t you?’

  ‘With who, what the hell are you on about?’

  He rubs his eyes tiredly.

  ‘Sharni,’ I say sharply.

  ‘Don’t be so ridiculous,’ he laughs, switching on the bedside lamp.

  ‘I’ve seen her messages on your phone. Don’t lie to me,’ I scream.

  He winces.

  ‘She came to your office,’ I say grabbing his arm. ‘Didn’t she? Don’t lie to me. She’s already told me how you discussed our anniversary and the seven year itch.’

  ‘Christ,’ he moaned. ‘It’s not like you’re making it sound.’

  ‘What was it like then?’

  ‘Sharni wanted to take a portrait of me with Ben. She wanted to give it to you for our anniversary. That’s why she came to the office and that’s why I texted her. The only other time I phoned her was when you forgot to take Ben for his jabs.’

  I glare at him.

  ‘I didn’t forget. What are you saying?’

  ‘You do forget Clare. Look at yourself. What kind of a mother are you. Screaming like a mad woman in front of Ben. Taking too many tranquillisers and now accusing me of God knows what. You’re totally paranoid Clare. Everyone is trying to help and that includes Sharni. Your memory is going. You need to get help and I don’t mean from Dr Rawlins or at least try and pull yourself together.’

  ‘You were in her house, the lady over the road saw you.’

  ‘She was taking photos of me and Ben. I’m not having an affair with anyone, but God knows Clare, the way you are, it wouldn’t be hard not to.’

  ‘But why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘This,’ he says pointing at me. ‘This is why I don’t tell you.’

  He takes Ben downstairs and I burst into tears.

  *

  Chris had barely spoken to me this morning. He was livid.

  ‘I can’t even discuss the things you said last night,’ he’d said quietly. ‘If you want to believe I’m having an affair with Sharni, then you can think it, but it’s bloody lunacy. You look terrible, you should get some sleep.’

  Ben is asleep on the couch and I curl up beside him. My head thumps but I have to find somewhere to take Ben tomorrow. I make a feeble effort to tidy the kitchen and then open my laptop and search for nurseries in our area. I’m about to phone them when there is a loud rapping on the front door. I peek out of the window to see it is Tom and I wince at his angry expression. I back away from the window but he’s seen me. I’ve no alternative but to answer the door.

  ‘Can I have a word?’ he asks bluntly. He’s wearing a dark suit and carries his briefcase. I realise that I barely know Tom. I really don’t want to ask him in but it’s cold and a gust of wind blows into the house.

  ‘You’d better come in,’ I say reluctantly.

  He steps in hesitantly.

  ‘I’m not going to beat about the bush Clare. It wasn’t pleasant listening to your vulgarity last night. The walls are fairly thick but if you’re screaming like a banshee then we’re all likely to hear.’

  I feel myself blush. I won’t defend myself. Why should I? It’s his wife that’s the bloody slut. She’s clearly after my husband.

  ‘I don’t know what we’ve done for you to behave like this. But Sharni is very upset. All she wanted to do was give you a nice photo of Chris and Ben.’

  ‘You know about the photo?’ I say, surprised.

  ‘Of course I do.’

  I remember all the horrible things I had said to Chris and feel my body turn hot. Tom’s jaw twitches.

  ‘We don’t have secrets,’ he says. ‘Sharni is a very caring woman …’

  ‘I don’t think we’re talking about the same Sharni,’ I say and quickly bite my lip.

  ‘I’m aware you’ve got issues Clare and …’

  ‘How dare you. She lies all the time. She never gave me the vase back. I don’t even know why she asked for it. She has plenty of vases she could have put her mother’s flowers in.’

  ‘What are you talking about? Sharni’s mother is dead.’

  ‘What, but she said …’

  He shakes his head sadly at me.

  ‘I think it’s more a case of you’ve got bad listening skills. The flowers weren’t from her mother. She wouldn’t lie about that. Sharni has done a lot to help you. You could do with helping yourself. Perhaps getting off those drugs might be a start. It can’t be good for Ben.’

  I let out a small gasp. Did Chris tell him about the diazepam?

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I stutter.

  ‘Sharni saw the diazepam notebook when we were here for dinner …’

  ‘Ben is fine,’ I say defensively.

  ‘They are clearly affecting you. I’m sorry you’ve got problems Clare, but I don’t appreciate hearing through the walls you accusing my wife of all sorts. It’s just not right.’

  He looks at me pityingly and for a fleeting moment I think how handsome he is. I’ve been so focused on Sharni that I’ve never really seen Tom. It occurs to me that with a husband like Tom why would Sharni be interested in Chris.

  ‘I can assure you that my wife is not having an affair with your husband. She’s feeling quite hurt this morning. I don’t know what she’s done for you to treat her this way.’

  ‘She …’ I begin but he interrupts me.

  ‘If not for yourself then for Ben’s sake get your drug addiction sorted. You don’t want this to get out of control.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I say nervously. My head thumps with every beat of my heart.

  ‘I think I’ve probably said enough. Sharni didn’t want me to come round but I can’t let something like this pass.’

  ‘I …’

  ‘Sharni is very happy to have Ben as usual but obviously …’

  ‘I’m checking out nurseries,’ I say quickly.

  ‘That’s your decision.’

  He opens the door.

  ‘Have a good day,’ he says before striding down the path.

  I close the door behind him and lean against it. What did he mean? His words seem to echo around the hallway, If not for yourself then for Ben’s sake get your drug addiction sorted. He made it sound like I was on cocaine. What if they report me to social services? I wouldn’t put anything past Sharni. I wring my hands nervously and then text Helen.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Helen watched as Sharni expertly guided the children into perfect poses for their photograph. It had been Sharni’s idea to create a Chri
stmas backdrop. Helen was impressed with her patience. She made the children feel at ease and managed to get a smile from each child as she clicked the shutter. It was quite true, Helen thought, you should never judge a book by its cover. Maybe Clare had it all wrong about Sharni.

  ‘A great find,’ Geoff smiled.

  ‘We should hire her,’ said Helen. ‘She’s got the patience of a saint.’

  ‘All credit to you for finding her.’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t find her as such. She lives right next door to Clare.’

  ‘How about a group teacher photo,’ Sharni called.

  ‘Ooh, one of us. That makes a change,’ laughed Helen.

  ‘It’s not normally what we do,’ said Geoff uncertainly. ‘But I agree it’s a good idea. We don’t have all the staff in today though.’

  ‘We could phone around,’ said Helen. ‘We’re only three down. Do you want to call Clare?’ Helen asked Sharni.

  Sharni’s face clouded over. ‘I’ll leave that to you,’ she smiled but Helen sensed her discomfort.

  The other teachers laughed amongst themselves.

  ‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’ asked Geoff. ‘I don’t imagine we’ll be able to do it until after the kids finish at three.’

  ‘That’s fine,’ smiled Sharni. ‘I’m enjoying it.’

  ‘I’ll take Sharni for lunch shall I?’ Helen said hopefully. It would make a change for her to take someone to lunch on school expenses. Geoff got to do it all the time so he couldn’t very well say no.

  ‘Of course, just put it on expenses. We’ll see you after lunch to do year three.’

  ‘Great, let’s go to the little place around the corner,’ said Helen, helping Sharni to pack up her equipment. ‘Best put all this in the head’s office.’

  *

  ‘God, you’ve got some patience,’ said Helen, lighting up a cigarette and inhaling deeply.

  ‘I like kids,’ laughed Sharni.

  ‘That’s more than I bloody do.’

  ‘But you’re a teacher.’

  ‘That doesn’t mean I have to like the little darlings. Here we are.’

  She led Sharni into the small restaurant. It smelt of fry-ups and Helen wrinkled her nose.

  ‘It’s normally quiet in here.’