by H. Lane
The morning’s fight and confession had been disastrous. Getting that close to her was a greater blunder than telling her to go shirtless in the car; his focus was broken, constantly wavering between actually fighting her and thoughts of how easily it’d be to “accidentally” get her beneath him. Agreeing to answer the question was the proverbial icing on the shit cake – he knew that his one word response would shove his face further into it.
So why did I agree to be such a dumbass?
The answer came to Jason as soon as the question entered his mind; he wanted to answer her. Although the idea of Sam “owing” a favor was tempting, escaping responsibility for taking her up on the offer lay solely with him. All his self-control had vanished in the face of her boldness and poise.
I’m such a fucking idiot.
He wanted Sam – his sister of all people – to know that he harbored an attraction to her. Against all reason and well-thought out plans, he’d gone and confessed to her. Because fuck consideration and patience.
Jason took a deep breath. OK. Cat’s out of the bag and there’s no shoving it back inside. Try to figure out how to solve the problem instead of just sitting on it.
He could lie to Sam about the depth and duration of his attraction, but he doubted she’d believe it, at least without further “prompting”. His treatment and interaction with her over the past year had convinced her that he hated her; if he increased the venom between them, she might believe he truly hated her.
His stomach churned at the thought of somehow treating her worse than he was now. Being a douche got me into this mess in the first place. It won’t get me out of it – I need to be more honest, at least with myself.
The ring from his computer’s video messenger program stirred Jason from his reverie. He was tempted to close his laptop, but seeing Valerie’s name stilled his hand. Sighing, he responded to the call and turned the machine toward him.
Valerie was a stunning woman. A blond whose hair was almost as light as her skin, she could steal the attention of men and women alike wherever she went. Her full build, especially combined with her low-cut tank top and tight jeans, ensured second glances even from those who considered themselves taken.
“What’s with the sour face?” she asked, tilting her head. “Playing babysitter got you down?”
“Same shit as last time,” Jason replied. “What’s up?”
“I’m going on a trip north,” Valerie replied. “My kid’s grandparents want some time with her, so we’re hitting the road. Was thinking about swinging by to keep you company while I’m there.”
Jason folded his hands in his lap. Valerie was a good friend and time spent with her was never ill-spent. And getting away from the current situation and Sam would doubtless let him gain perspective.
No. No more running away from my problems.
“I’d love to, but my schedule is kind of cramped while I’m here,” Jason said. “Got some things I need to fix, and now is the best chance I’ve got.”
Valerie arched an eyebrow. “Does this have anything to do with what we talked about last time?”
“Maybe,” he replied. “I’ll tell you depending on how well this goes.”
She laughed. “Sure. Just tell me if you end up getting some free time – I could really use the chance to get away.”
“Sounds like you’ve got your own family issues.”
Valerie’s expression grew weary. “Let’s just say that Nana and Papa love their granddaughter but aren’t too excited about the baggage she comes with.”
Jason winced. “I hear that. My dad’s family – well, my biological dad one – was never that happy to be around me or mom.”
“You’ve never really mentioned him,” Valerie said. “Bad memories?”
“With Thomas? Jason hid his frustration with a shrug. “Let’s just say that I’m glad our history is a closed book instead of an ongoing topic.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah.” Jason shook his head. “Fun times, although it’s gotten better.”
“Yeah,” Valerie said. “No offense, but I hope Naomi’s situation doesn’t get that bad with her grandparents. Asinine as they are to me, they really love her, and I’m doing my best not to screw that up for my girl.”
Jason smiled. “I think it’ll turn out OK.”
“Hope so. And I hope your issue with your sister gets hunky dory.”
He blinked. “When did I tell you it was about her?”
Valerie smirked. “You just did.”
“Smartass.”
“Better than a dumbass.” Valerie glanced over her shoulder as a loud crash echoed through the computer’s speakers. “Shit, I think that’s Naomi. Talk to you later.”
“Yeah, later,” Jason said.
He cancelled the call and leaned back in his chair. Being direct was what Sam did with me. Maybe it’ll work this time if we’re both open, not just her.
* * * *
* * * One Year Ago * * *
Jason groaned as his cell rung atop his bedsides dresser. The gymnastics meet and homework had sapped him; being awoken at God-knew-when by his ringtone was the last thing he needed. Reaching over, he was ready to hang up until he saw Sam’s name.
What the hell?
He took the call and pressed the phone to his ear. “Sam?”
“Naaaaaw,” Sam muttered. “Just another girl with the same name and your number. I guess if I have the same name I’m Sam, though.”
Jason rubbed his eyes and sat up. “What is it?” He glanced at his alarm and groaned. “It’s two fucking AM. If this is some weird sleepover shit your friends are pulling—“
Sam let out a loud giggle. “Sleepover? Watcha talkin’ ‘bout, Jayjay?”
“The sleepover you’re at,” Jason replied. “The one you told Mom and Dad you were going to, remember?”
“Oh. Ohhhhh. That.” Sam giggled immediately after. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“You’re not actually at a sleepover.”
“Who the hell told you! I’m gonna cut them, I swear to God—“
Jason let out an angry exhalation. “You’re drunk. Where did you get the booze?”
“Pfffft, I’m not drunk. And I got it at the party,” Sam said. “Well, a party. It’s not really worth calling it “the” party, because it’s lame, you know?”
“You are so fucked.” Sam gulped and muttered something; Jason swore she somehow managed to convey a blush without being visible. “What was that?”
“Nuthin’. But yeah, I need a lift home. Party’s getting lame, and I need to get out of here. Some jackass was trying to get handsy and it’s awk-ward being ‘round him, you know?”
“Give me the address and I’ll be right over.”
Sam rattled off the address; Jason had to ask her to repeat it several times before managing to write it down. “You’re not gonna tell Mom or Dad about this, are you?” she asked.
Jason’s throat tightened. He hated the idea of lying to his parents, but their punishment for Sam would be catastrophic for what was essentially a dumb teenage mistake. As much as he loved his mother and father, it didn’t equal what he felt for his younger sister.
“Secret is safe with me,” he said after a long moment. “Just try to keep your story straight, OK?”
“Thanks, bro. See ya soon.”
Jason hung up. After dressing, he took quiet, measured steps across the hall and down the stairs, skipping the one before the bottom to avoid its creak. He was relieved now that his parents had made him park in front of their house on the street even though he’d complained about the rain coming down at the time. Opening the indoor garage would’ve betrayed his plan before he’d even left the house.
Despite telling Sam that he wouldn’t tell their parents about her indiscretion, he had difficulty understanding her choice to lie and go drinking. She was always so clean in her choice of activities and honest to a fault; despite her smart-ass comments she
was a good daughter and sister.
Except when she looks at you like she’s thirsty and you’re a tall glass of deliciousness.
He gripped the wheel hard enough to strain its leather cover. Sam had been paying more attention to him since her birthday last year, as if the kiss she’d been dared to give him had opened the door for more. Her eyes, usually bright and fierce, changing to something sublime and dark whenever she thought he didn’t notice, disquieted him.
Don’t lie to yourself. You want her to look at you like that, just like how you want to make her scream your name.
Jason shook his head. Now’s not the time for creepy shit. Just pick Sam up and bring her home before there’s trouble.
The three-story house at the address he’d been given was a hub of activity, lights on and music thrumming from its open front door. Teenagers, some of whom Jason recognized from high school, loitered about the lawn and porch with beer and red cups in hand. A quick scan didn’t reveal Sam outside.
Sighing, Jason parked across the street and made his way toward the house. He stopped in front of the first person he came across, asking about Sam and giving a description when the half-drunk teen stared. Massaging his temples when given a slurred answer, Jason proceeded inside the house.
You owe me big time, Sam.
Alcohol and the remnants of pizza and snacks were strewn across the floor as he stepped through the open door. Art covered the walls, with at least a dozen girls and boys leaning against them as well, heedless of their proximity to paintings likely older than them. Between the loud music, aroma, and additional teenagers cluttering the furniture and floor, Jason wondered could’ve enticed Sam to a dumb party like it in the first place.
Maybe I don’t know her as well as I thought.
Hands wrapped around Jason’s eyes. He tensed and was halfway ready to throw whoever was touching him off before feeling the warm metal rings on the middle fingers. “Very funny, Sam.”
Sam giggled and removed her hands. “You should relax.” She ran her hands across his shoulders and down his arms; the casual contact sent a stiffening wave through his body. “Don’t need to be so hard all the time, you know?”
Jason turned around, his throat becoming a desert when he saw Sam. Her short black skirt that barely went halfway down her thighs, and the matching tank top was buoyed by what he suspected was a bold push-up. The light jacket she wore over her ensemble was loose on her shoulders, and although he didn’t know she had a pair of pumps that added definition to her shapely legs, he knew he wouldn’t be forgetting them anytime soon.
She leaned close enough so Jason could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Cat gotcha tongue?” Sam asked, a wide smirk on her rich crimson lips.
“No,” Jason murmured. “Just surprised.”
Sam stepped back, allowing Jason to finally take a breath. “At what?”
“That you’re here at all.” He laid a hand on Sam’s shoulder and turned her toward the door. “We’re leaving.”
“You want a drink for the road?” Sam asked.
Jason tightened his grip and forced her to follow him outside. “No. We’re leaving now, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“Spoilsport,” Sam said.
Whistles and catcalls followed him and Sam as they walked toward his car. She laughed, threading her arm through his and leaned against his shoulder. The piercing sound her heels made as they hit the rain-drenched street cut through the pounding heartbeat in his ears, a metronome whose every beat sent blood coursing quicker through his veins.
Just take her home, Jason. That’s all you need to do.
Chapter 12
Cold rushed over Sam as Jason pulled into the street. It wasn’t a physical sensation – her jacket and the car’s heater were keeping her comfortable – but her older brother’s demeanor could only be defined as “chilled”. She couldn’t understand why he was distant with her right now. He’d been irritated at the party, but she knew from first-hand experience that he could never stay mad at her for long.
Maybe I just need to get him to warm up a little.
Jason’s voice was a blade that cut through her slightly fogged mind. “Why were you there?”
Sam blinked. “Why was I where?”
He exhaled a sharp breath. “The house. The party.”
Sam shrunk into her seat. Jason’s tone reminded him of her parents, and his question added more force to the already blunt question. It was true that she hadn’t gone to other parties before, but the lure of alcohol in her state had been irresistible. She couldn’t deny her feelings any longer; bottling them up had built a pressure inside her that needed to be released. A few drinks seemed like the best way of getting the angst out of her system.
Maybe being honest with myself and him would be better.
“Well?” Jason asked.
Sam took a deep breath. “Because of you.”
The car stopped in the middle of the street. Jason’s tension was almost tangible, muscles tensing beneath his sweatshirt and stoic lecturing expression breaking into a thousand pieces. “What?”
“I’m not gonna talk like this,” Sam said. “Take me somewhere we can do it face to face.”
And maybe do it.
Jason’s lips pressed into a thin line. He started the car again and took a u-turn. After going down several streets and making turns they came to a park, complete with a playground and fenced-in dog area. Sam recognized it after a half-moment; her father and birth mother had taken her to it several times.
“This good?” Jason asked.
Sam nodded and exited the car. The rain had lessened to a weak drizzle that formed a light mist across the world. Jason resembled an exemplar amidst it, the trickle of starlight, and streetlamps, illuminated and bright now as he was in her mind.
At that very moment she knew she needed to be close to him, touch him, feel his strength. The alcohol made her bold, but it also exaggerated the aches she’d gone to the party to release. Even now she wanted to scream because of the distance between them, both the physical measurement and the ones society had erected to shame her for feeling that way, for loving him.
“Hey,” she said, taking wide, clumsy steps toward him. “I don’t wanna walk in the mud with heels.”
Jason locked his car and looked up. “What do you want me to do about it?”
Sam pointed to a set of benches beneath a tall tree. “Carry me there and we can talk, OK?”
He looked at her for a long moment. Sam could feel the intensity of his gaze even in the darkness, luxuriating beneath it as she imagined his hands running across her body. After a long moment he turned around and jabbed a thumb at his back.
“Hop on.”
Gulping, Sam reached around his neck with both arms and hoisted herself atop him. Rapture tore through her as she wrapped her legs tight around his waist and ground herself against the tight muscles of his lower back. Breathless and heart pounding to break free of her chest, she could gasp when his hands went to her bare thighs to support her. It wasn’t equal to the lewdness of her bold fantasies, but it was real and wonderful, a closeness that almost drove her to tears.
I’m not going to let go of you. Ever.
She rested her cheek against Jason’s back as he walked toward the benches. The gentle sway of his gait reminded her of being cradled, but the lines of tension that defined his muscles now filled her with guilt. It was natural that he’d be conflicted being this close to her, but she was hoping her looks and body would excite him.
According to Amanda, men could drive themselves into a frenzy from the sheer tension that “holding back” brought on, only able to relax once they’d finished. Sam wasn’t sure of how accurate her friend was before, but it seemed apt for Jason. She just hoped she was the one who could help him find release.
Jason stopped at the benches and turned around so his back was toward them. Sam released her legs and put herself atop the damp wood, but kept her arms wrapped around him
. She pressed her face against his back when he tried to pull away, his scent sweet even through the rain.
“Sam,” Jason murmured. “What—“
“Just sit down. Please?”
She felt a shudder run through him. For a moment, Sam thought he’d break her grip – he’d done it enough in sparring – but instead sat down beside her. Her hold never broke, and he didn’t flinch when she draped herself across him. His arms remained at his side, but she didn’t mind – it allowed her to press herself against his biceps.
God, I don’t ask much, but please let me keep this.
“Sam,” Jason said. His voice was quiet, as if he were ill. “What are you doing? Now, and tonight?”
This is it.
“Have you ever wanted something you knew you couldn’t have?” she asked after a long moment. “I don’t mean something that’s impossible, like world peace or turning into someone else. More like a thing you could get, but will never be able to?”
Jason turned his head away. “What is it you want?”
Sam tightened her grip on Jason and pressed herself closer to him. Her breasts ached in her bra as she leaned against his bicep; she wanted him against her bare skin. “I think you know.”
“I think you’re drunk. We should get home, and—“
“No,” Sam said. “I’m tired of waiting.”
“Waiting for what—?”
Sam grabbed both his shoulders and pulled herself up for a kiss. It was different than the one she’d been dared to give a year before. There was hesitation, instead a hunger that she was ready to unleash. She wasn’t a sister to Jason right now, but a woman who expressed her needs and fulfilled them with him.
Her tongue swirled into his mouth as she straddled him, the friction of her bare thighs against his denim grinding a new desire into her center. Sam rubbed her chest against his, nipples so hard she was sure Jason could feel them through her clothes. He remained tense as she moved against him but not motionless – his cock bulged between thighs, growing harder by the moment.