Fate (Forever & Always Book 2)

by Cindy Springsteen

The day starts out really nice, Debbie and I took the kids to Nunley’s for the day. They have such a great time on the rides and it is a really nice day out. Tonight Danny called and once again, things went south for us.

  “Someone stole my car and then totaled it!”

  “What!? What happened?”

  “I had the car running and ran into the office to get something I forgot and this drunk guy got in the car and then wound up getting in an accident. The car isn’t even drivable.”

  “Why do these things keep happening to us?”

  “I don’t know…. but I just want to go to sleep now okay? Don’t be mad I just don’t feel like talking anymore tonight.”

  “Okay…I love you, Forever and Always.”

  “I love you too. Always and Forever.”

  I sit and just cry. I didn’t know exactly what I’m crying about. A car is just a car, but with all the money that it’s costing for everything and he is already working so hard, I just feel awful. Is it that much too just want a week, or even more than one day of true happiness before something happens that takes it all away from me?

  He got an estimate for the car and it would cost $1700 to be fixed. He doesn’t know what to do. Going to try to ask a lawyer but chances are this guy isn’t going to pay or even show up for court.

  If things weren’t bad enough Wanda calls him and now is saying she wants $225 a week or the deal wis off and she would just see him in court and let them decide on April 18th. So once again, we were back to the beginning. I feel like I am on rollercoaster and I just want off!

  April 18th (Court Day)

  It is postponed yet again, now until June 17th. They also are going to subpoena his taxi records. There is no way that this is going to be settled anytime soon. She pretends that she will and then at the last minute, she pulls the rug out from under him. She is probably doing it on purpose because she isn’t happy that he is with me. I don’t know how much more of all this he can take, I can take, anyone can take at this point. Also the money all this is costing. Every time he goes to court and it gets postponed, still costs him for his attorney. Every time he talks to his attorney, it costs. When will the end?

  I call and cancel the hall. They are going to hold the deposit and when I have a better idea of when I can call back and they will apply it to our new date. As soon as I get in bed tonight, I cry like I haven’t cried in a long time until sleep overcame me. I don’t want to tell anyone but I know that I am going to have to. Every couple of days now, I wake up with hives and welts—my nerves are just shot.

  It’s a year now that I am on this ride of my life. It is hard to believe a year has gone by and I feel like we are no closer to our lives together.

  June 17th (Court Day)

  Here we are at yet another court day. The judge this time though tells them they that need to come to some sort of agreement. The judge says that the attorneys, Wanda and him were to come up with papers and this is to happen by September. It is a good thing that I cancelled everything because this is the longest dragged on nightmare I have ever seen.

  Danny and I decide to do something happy and go to Green Acres mall to pick out our wedding rings. This way, we have plenty of time to pay them off and it gives us hope that one day, those rings will be on our fingers and we will be married. We also are starting to look for a bigger apartment. Once the year is up with this place, we want to have a big enough place that I will be able to move in also, and have room for the girls when they sleep over.

  We found our first home together. It is a first floor of a house, we have a basement that has two rooms in it one has the washer and dryer. We have a garage and have use of the backyard. I’m in pure heaven and can’t wait until I can move in. The landlord is really nice and is going to paint it and fix everything up really nice before he moves in. He is going to move in on August 15th. The lease even has both our names on it. For the first time in a long time, I finally feel like someday this will happen.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  With all happy things there always has to be something that takes it all away.

  “I got a phone call today,” my mom says to me.

  “Who called?” I sense something on my mom’s tone that instantly worried me.

  “I don’t know who it was I didn’t recognize the voice but they said that Danny has aids from one of his ex-girlfriends. Then they said that Wanda had a still born baby in January who also had aids.”

  There just were no words that would come out of my mouth. I couldn’t believe that someone would call and say such horrible things like this. Why would someone do this? There is no way to know who, so all we could do is somehow find a way to ignore it and hope they never called again.

  I went to my grandmother and tell her all that is going on with everything the courts, my dad and now my mother getting a phone call. I wound up crying and my grandmother told me that she is on my side and 100% supports me. She told me she would help me anyway that I needed.

  I decided to surprise Danny and book us a trip to Tennessee for Country Christmas. This way, he could see what I’ve seen. Last year, my parents took me to Country Christmas and it is absolutely amazing. There is no place like Tennessee at Christmas time and being it’s my favorite holiday, what better way than for us to go there and enjoy it’s magic together. We need magic! My parents are going to Tennessee next week and are still looking at houses so if we do decide to move, I want to be sure he loves it as much as I do.

  While my parents were away, Danny and I spent a lot of time at the new apartment moving things in. My emotions go up and down. I feel at times like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. When I am with him and we are planning and moving forward, I feel okay but once I’m back alone my fears begin. When we are apart, I worry about our future, if we ever really are going to have one.

  Danny’s lawyer calls with yet another issue that we are faced with. She now wants him to pay $2,500 for her attorney.

  Does it ever stop?

  Rumors start and I get a call today telling me that Danny has been spending time with Wanda and doing favors for her. I flip out on Danny and he swore to me on his kids that he loves me and wants to marry me. He’s says he is trying to smooth the way, get along with her and help the process so this can all be over with.

  I don’t know why everyone just can’t leave us alone. If the plan is to make me crazy and me wind up away in a padded room, they are getting me there.

  I hate what is happening to us, the trust and all the people getting involved. Danny isn’t acting like himself lately and my constant questioning everything I’m sure is not helping the situation. I’m beginning to think deep down he does want out but at this point, how would he do that? He barely talks to me lately and I have no idea what he’s thinking. I’m wondering if maybe we should just split up for a while and see...but I am so afraid to lose him, again.

  Danny calls me at work today and asks me to drop off the house keys. He didn’t say another word. He wouldn’t hug me when we were together for a little while tonight, trying to work this out. He eventually tells me that he doesn’t know what he can do about anything anymore and that he can’t take it.

  I can’t either.

  I feel that it may be over.

  We got another aids phone call today. Everyone is telling me that he is still in love with her and I should just let him go now, before I get more hurt. Here I am wearing a ring he put on my finger which just seems like yesterday and now I am so close to having to say goodbye again. I don’t think my heart can take much more of this.

  “Nana, can I please borrow money?” I ask through my hysterical crying.

  “What’s the matter sweetheart? Are you okay?”

  “No, I am far from it and I need to get away. Everything is just crashing down on me Nana and I feel so alone, I want to go visit Liz and have a chance to think clearly.”

  “Of course, I will help you. I told you I’m on your side and will always support your decisions. Come on over, I
will put on some tea. We will talk and I will give you whatever you need.”

  I spent a couple of hours crying to my grandmother. It did feel like a relief to get it all out, but my heart is shattered. I know she felt horrible for me. She gave me money.

  I call Liz from her house and make sure it is okay for me to come, which of course it is. She is picking me up from the airport and my grandmother is going to drive me. So we call the airlines.

  I’m leaving tomorrow.

  When I get home, Danny is sitting outside my house waiting. “I lost you, didn’t I?” he looks upset, tired and defeated just now.

  “What on earth did you expect? You asked for the keys to supposedly OUR house, you told me you aren’t sure what you want anymore and right now, I don’t know what I want. I know I don’t want a man who shuts me out and refuses to…”

  “I know now that she was just using me, so she could get what she wants from the courts.”

  “It’s a little too late for that now, don’t you think?” Tears start to roll from my eyes.

  His face pales as he stuck his hands into his jean pockets. “I never wanted to hurt you, and yet I have done that again….” His voice trails away.

  “I went into this with my eyes wide open. I just really believed you loved me and wanted this future as much as me.”

  “I do! I swore to you and I meant it. I love you and want to marry you. I’m just overwhelmed with all this and every time I turn around, she wants more money. I’m already working my ass off.”

  “Well now, it will be simpler, you can go back to her and save all that money, or just have to worry about you. I am done!” I walk away, didn’t turn back, and went in my house.

  My mom stood in the kitchen when I got in and she saw my face and my tears. She didn’t ask questions. I did as best I could tell her that I am leaving tomorrow and that Nana gave me the money. My phone keeps ringing and I wouldn’t answer it. If it is Danny, I didn’t want to hear anything. I’d made up my mind to get away and I’m going to do just that.

  August 9th

  When I got off the plane, Liz is there waiting for me. In one hand, she has a box of ring dings and the other a box of tissues. I have to laugh. It’s so good to see her and now I remember our times together with my endless tears and crisis’ with Danny. Well, some good things never change.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Danny

  “Is Cas there?”

  “No, she isn’t home right now,” Cassidy’s mom answers.

  “She hasn’t called me back and this is my third time calling. Is she okay?”

  “She went to North Carolina Danny, she’s with Liz.”

  “When did she leave? Why didn’t she tell me?” I know now, that I really blew I this time.

  “She left this morning. I don’t know what happened exactly. Just that she was upset and wanted to get away and clear her head.”

  “It’s my fault, as usual.”

  Her mom didn’t comment on this. “She will be back soon. You can talk to her then. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

  “I hope so….thanks. Wait, do you have Liz’s new number? I really want to call and let Cassidy know I love her.”

  Her mom is good to me and gives it to me. I knew I again… messed up. It’s just when all the stress wouldn’t let up, I didn’t want to take it out on her. I keep going back and forth with wanting to let her go for her own good and wanting to keep her with me forever. I knew I loved her, but it all seems to be too hard for her too. She looked so unhappy the last time we were face to face. How can it be that all I want to do is make Cassidy happy, then I am the one to do the opposite, making her so unhappy?

  Now that I have the number, what am I going to do? I sit staring at the phone. I can’t believe she left. I felt shocked at what my lawyer told me about the money for the attorney and just needed time to process all this. It didn’t mean our plans had changed. I just needed to figure out how to proceed. Now I messed it up and I have really hurt her yet again. I finally pick up the phone. I knew what I must do. “Dad I need your help.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I have to go to North Carolina. I need to go after Cassidy. I needed time to sort this out, not thinking she thought that meant I had doubts about my future with her. I have to go dad, I have to make this right.”

  I then call Liz and ask if it would be all right if I came there. She seems hesitant at first, but after I explain it all, she finally agrees to let me. She isn’t going to tell Cassidy. I want to be the one to tell her that I love her and that nothing has changed. I’m not going to lose her again.

  My dad gave me the money and even calls and finds me a flight. All that’s left on the flight is a first class seat, so off I went to follow her. I knew I would chase this woman to the ends of the earth. I cannot live without her. My life would be over. I need her to know that this is real. I am becoming the man she needs. I will be there every minute for her. I know I need to work on talking with her, though I thought I’d been doing better at that.

  I need to get my girl back.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  CASSIDY

  Two days later...

  Liz and I were sitting at the kitchen table having a cup of coffee and ring dings, our all-time favorite, when the doorbell rings. She gets up and goes to answer it. I hear voices and then out of the corner of my eye— there he is.

  “Don’t be mad, he called me and explained that he really needed to come here and see you. I hope you forgive me for saying yes,” Liz says to me hesitantly.

  I couldn’t believe he was here and truly, I’m unsure if I feel happy about it. He sits down and Liz gets him a cup of coffee. He is staring at me, but I didn’t want to make eye contact with him. I didn’t want to instantly forgive him and forget all the pain that I’ve been going through.

  “My dad loaned me the money to get a plane ticket. I had to come here and make this right. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “I really don’t want to talk about this, especially now.” I could see out of the corner of my eye Liz didn’t know what to do if she should leave us alone or continue to sit there feeling awkward.

  “Well, I’m not going anywhere. I messed this up and I will do whatever it takes to make it right and you believe in me again.”

  “I guess this is a bad time to tell you that I only have the one guest room and the bed isn’t very huge,” Liz adds in a small voice.

  “I will sleep on a couch if I have to,” Danny states firmly.

  “You might have to fight Stuart for that, he stays up pretty late playing his games, but you’re welcome to sleep wherever you are comfortable.”

  I wasn’t mad at Liz for allowing him to come. I know how convincing he can be and she knows my love for him runs deep for so many years. When he got up to take a shower, I tell her it is fine, I’m not mad. She pulls out the ring dings and we sit, talk and eat our ring dings.

  “I know what he did to you is horrible, but for your own sanity, talk it out and if it’s really over, I will be here for you with the tissues. You owe it to yourself to have a clean slate.”

  “I know you’re right I’m glad we had those days before he showed up to talk. I know I’ll have to leave here and go back to my life. I will need strength and the only way I can do that is if I really know what I am doing is right.”

  Danny and I stay up most of the night talking.

  “I just need the time,” he says.

  I feel frustrated, as I’d given him years, though I didn’t think he looked at it that way. Maybe I just felt stuck in a never-ending-nightmare loop where happiness was out on a pole hung right up to my face and so many times I try to grab it and it would be yanked away again and again. I feel tired of the game. Maybe I am giving up. I never would’ve thought this would happen. Me giving up and Danny hanging on, refusing to. This is a turn around for sure.

  Despite his promises and his claims of loving me, I’m not sure that I feel much better. So much of m
e wants to believe him and so much of me just doesn’t know what to believe. He fell asleep on the floor. He didn’t want to try to force me into anything. I lay on the bed and silently cry.

  When we came home, life hadn’t changed. Danny convinces me to take a ride with him to the new apartment he moves in tomorrow. I am so jealous as I want it to be our place together, which I even know is crazy. We sit and talk more.

  He smiles at me. “This is for us! Look around this apartment has both our names on it. Our future is here and it will happen soon. Just please be patient and know that I love you and all I want is us here together and building our life.”

  I heave out a sigh. “I want to believe you. I have loved you it feels like my whole life. My nerves though just can’t take much more of this. I can’t even enjoy being engaged. It just shouldn’t be this way. Do you know I get hives, do you know I cry myself to sleep many nights? Do you know that this making me physically sick?”

  He looks ill and ashen for a long moment. “Please, it will be okay I promise. I promised you before and I know that means nothing, but this is going to happen. We will have all we’ve dreamed. Just believe in me, believe in us.”

  I spend the next couple of days with my mom and grandmothers helping to fix up the apartment. Part of me wasn’t sure he really appreciated all I did. But he works a lot and has no time for anything really. I know I’m being overly sensitive but I cannot seem to help it. I found furniture. My mom and I spent a fortune at Caldor and Pergament. We even went to Waldbaums and filled the cabinets with food. I love this apartment and want nothing more to be living here. I just don’t know if it will ever happen. My mom even bought a toaster and toaster oven. She helped so much. I don’t know what I would do if she wasn’t here. She’s really my best friend.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  A few days later...