Fate (Forever & Always Book 2)

by Cindy Springsteen

  My mom and I find a nice couch set. We went to the apartment and when we were moving things, we found some surprises. I don’t know if she saw what I did but I feel furious. When he came home tonight, I sat there waiting.

  “I only smoke a little I swear. I needed something to help me be calm and I didn’t want to drink.”

  “I can’t make you quit but do you really think this is the answer?”

  We had a huge fight and I left fast.

  I’m afraid to say anything to my mother because I am unsure what she saw. So now, I have to hold this into myself. I ‘m afraid to tell anyone because they will think I am completely insane to stay but I did. I kept the secret.

  Diary Entry

  September 18th

  Danny’s lawyer served Wanda’s attorney with the divorce petition today.

  Danny seemed upbeat and hopeful. He smiled at me when he told me.

  I tried to smile back, but I’m sure I failed.

  He looked worried all the time.

  He should be. I wondered if I was going insane and no one knew it. Not even me.

  I held any happiness a bay. The old saying about the fat lady singing? I felt like I’ve become entirely deaf. I took each day as the same day. It isn’t healthy and I know it, but I need some defense against disaster.

  October 3rd

  We saw Ronnie Milsap for the first time tonight together. We had an amazing time and Ronnie sings our song “What A Difference You Make In My Life” we plan it to be our wedding song. Danny actually found it and picked it out. When the concert was over, we sat in the parking lot of Westbury Music Fair until it was empty. We put on Ronnie’s tape and listened to our song again as we talked about our wedding.

  Yes, I’m back to hoping for happiness. Because I think it was the fact that Danny wouldn’t let go. For once, he led the fight and wouldn’t give up. In the years past, this had never been the roles we had. The roles were reversed.

  Danny stayed determined and fought everything, worked, tried to make me happy. He kept at it and called his lawyer again, telling him him that he needs to do something. He also told Wanda that she needs to sign the papers. Going to a higher court will cost them both a fortune. This needs to be over once and for all.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  We were having a really nice night at the apartment. I cook him a nice dinner and we sit together watching a movie I rented from Blockbuster, “Silence of the Lambs.”

  Driving home is like something out of a horror movie. In my life, I’ve never seen fog as bad as it is tonight. You couldn’t even see the traffic lights or stores on the side of Sunrise Highway. I never felt so scared driving. I should have stayed, but knew my father would have had a flip attack. So I just drove slow and even feel afraid to get out of my car. You couldn’t see anything.

  It occurs to me that my life is something like driving through this fog. I knew home was here somewhere, the place where I could be happy. I just couldn’t see it. But I feel it near…. So close…within reach. My happiness, my dreams were the same, they were there in the fog that had become my life. I couldn’t let the fog defeat me. Defeat us.

  When I get home, I sit in the car for a long time. A couple of years ago, I had fight in me. Fire. I would get knocked down and would get right back up. What happened to that girl? I let out a breath and knew I needed to find her and get back to having more courage, instead of believing the fog would stay and keep me from my happiness.

  I felt a change inside me, like in that instant. I would hang on. I would make sure Danny stayed on track and with me. No more fear if I could help it.

  My dad planned a huge 50th birthday party for my mom. There was even a stripper dressed up like a cop. My mom works for the police department, so it was so funny to have this guy show up dressed like a cop. We had a really fun time. I just wish Danny wasn’t working and was able to be here. Looking at my mom tonight, I realized how much she deeply means to me. Of course, I loved her dearly, she’s my mom, but she also is so important to me. She has become such a friend also and I don’t know how I could handle it if she moved to Tennessee without me.

  My life was nearing a crossroads and I could feel it.

  I would have to decide my fate. Meet my future head on. I didn’t want to lose Danny, not ever. But my family had supported me and been my actual lifeline, my mom is that for sure.

  I waited as the days went by to see this crossroad.

  November 3rd

  Danny called me and told me he had a big fight with Wanda. Apparently, he called her and told her she has two weeks to sign these papers or there would be war. I don’t know that I can go through another year of all this court mess. Danny just wants it to end and we both don’t know how on earth we could deal with another year of all this.

  I still hung on and so did he.

  November 8th

  My grandmother got a call at her job saying that Danny is a drug addict and is HIV positive. I don’t know what to believe here about who is doing this. I didn’t think many people knew where my grandmother worked. I knew 100% my grandmother would never make something like this up, and I knew we had already received calls. I thought that they stopped but apparently, now they are going after my grandmother. I didn’t tell Danny about the call tonight. He was in a good mood and this would just open up a whole can of worms I wasn’t in the mood to deal with. Could my dad be behind all this? Tomorrow is the day we should have been getting married and I was doing all I could to hold it together myself. When we got off the phone, I just sat and cried.

  No, I wouldn’t let fear get me, but anger? I couldn’t battle it. Someone, maybe Wanda was being hateful. Hadn’t she gotten past this yet? You’d think she would go on with her life. Do something else. Make her kids happy. I now felt bad for Danny in a way I never recognized before. What kind of life, miserable life did he have to live with her?

  Yes for the first year, I maybe understood. A crossed scorned wife. But now? She wasn’t that, it’d been too long to carry this on, making everyone miserable. What kind of person would be this way for this long?

  A few days later….

  Danny has an accident with the taxi and now has to pay for the damages. He’s in a really bad mood, so I didn’t go over to the apartment to see him. It’s better that he’s alone. I knew I wouldn’t say the right things at this point. I am still not over passing what should have could have been our wedding date.

  November 18th

  Danny talks to Wanda and she says she will sign the papers. She doesn’t want to go to Supreme Court, so she is going to go to her attorney and sign them. Could this be real this time? Or is this just another ploy and stall? If all goes well then in 1992, we can finally have our wedding and move forward in time. To our fate, past the fog. Be normal, and have our life together.

  Christmas is coming which as everyone knows is my favorite holiday. Mom and I have been shopping already.

  Danny and I put a tree up in the apartment. It was so much fun and if these papers are signed soon it would be the best Christmas present I could ever get. We leave in a week for Country Christmas. I can’t wait for him to see Tennessee and all that there is during Christmas time. The hotel is amazing. The rooms are so nice and I got a room that overlooks a conservatory with a dancing water show. There is a round bar in it that turns. I can’t wait to sit at it and have a drink with him and dream of next year. Maybe for once… a year will start and end on a happy note for me—just once.

  December 14th

  We arrive at Opryland and it is everything I remember it to be. Danny seems amazed at the hotel. We rent a Mustang and went to Music Row for a while. Tonight we went to Twitty City. He loves everything just like me. We sit on our balcony until the wee hours just listening to the waterfalls inside and talking about Christmas and that soon, we will be able to truly plan our wedding.

  Our second day, we went on a mini cruise, the General Jackson. It’s cold, but we didn’t care. We were just so happy to be away and togeth
er. It was magical in so many ways. We went to the round bar tonight and talked like we never talked before. It’s a night I will never forget in my lifetime.

  Our third day, we went to the Rivergate Mall and did some Christmas shopping. It’s like being in a completely different world. The people are so different here. After we came back and showered, we went to the Pickin Polar and listen to a band that is really good. We find a couple to take a picture of us that I will cherish forever. We sit out on our balcony again and talk. I don’t think we ever talked as much as we did on this trip. We decide that we want to come back here on our honeymoon. We love everything about this place and what a better place to go on a honeymoon than a place that brought us closer together than we have ever been before.

  My parents pick us up from the airport. It’d been such a sad flight home and we are jealous my parents and grandparents are on their way there tomorrow.

  With all our happiness, we came home to troubles.

  Of course.

  Danny came home to a message from his attorney that she apparently, didn’t sign as she told him she would but changed the papers. Now he has to call and go see what on earth she changed now.

  I feel fine. For once. I know that sounds insane, but she couldn’t go on like this forever. I refused to feel defeated after such a wonderful trip. This woman is hateful… I’d run out of hate and was more in love with Danny than ever before. I refuse to give him up now. She could screw around all she wants and get nothing for it. In the end, she would have to let go, cause I wouldn’t let go of Danny… or our future together.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Christmas Day

  Today went better than I could’ve hoped for. We went to his parent’s and my parent’s house. It felt like we were actually an engaged or married couple. Although until the papers were signed, I didn’t feel like I’m officially nor am I an engaged woman. We didn’t even open presents from each other until almost 3:00 am. He gives me a new ankle bracelet that we are going to take to be engraved. It brought back one of the sweetest memories I have of him and Christmas. He’d bought me one years ago…

  ….On Christmas day, 1977 he handed me a box. I’d wanted it to be jewelry. When I opened the box, I found a beautiful heart necklace, and engraved on the back was, “Love, Danny.” In the card he had written, “You will have to wait for your other gift. It is an ankle bracelet.” I was completely and utterly on top of the world at that very moment. I knew I was going to marry this boy someday. I could feel it in every ounce of my soul. I immediately put the necklace on. I couldn’t wait for everyone to see it and see how much he loved me.

  A week later, he handed me an ankle bracelet. It was perfect and beautiful to me, with two hearts. Someday, maybe we would add our initials on the hearts, but that would mean I would have to part with it to have it done. I didn’t ever want to take it off….

  This Christmas almost 14 years later…. I got him Sega Genesis and we were anxious to set it up and play games together. This way, we wouldn’t just sit and watch television.

  The holidays are over and no papers were signed.

  We spent New Year’s Eve playing Sega. We brought in 1992 making love and hope that this would finally be our year.

  1992…

  I should’ve known better than to think that things will finally go right. She signs the papers but her attorney will not release the papers unless he pays her attorney in full $2500.

  I got a second job typing and spend every second I can working on that to try to help make us more money for our future. The company gave me a computer and its small enough I can bring it with me to the apartment and do work there or at home.

  We spend hours trying to figure out how we are going to come up with that kind of money. I went to my grandmother and told her the story. She wants to see this over with also for my sake, she agreed to loan us $1000 of it. I couldn’t thank her enough. The rest of the money I’d been able to get using my credit cards and cash advances. It’s a good thing that I have good credit. We called his attorney and told him that we will have the money.

  Danny had to take out a $100,000 life insurance policy, yet another bolder fell into our path. So we quickly had to get an insurance guy to come and we had to get proof that we had it. We took it to her attorney and the papers were finally in our hands and signed! We were so happy to see her signature on the papers and to have them in our hands. We finally had a future to plan. We are finally close to seeing dreams become a reality. The lawyer is filing the papers Monday and then it takes up to three months until the divorce will be official.

  The typing job is so much and I’m not making that good money, so I decide to start my own business and make up flyers. I then get business cards and plan to somehow, build my own business.

  Danny and I spend a lot of time playing hockey, baseball and football on his Sega. It’s a way to pass the time at night after working and it’s when we seem to talk best too. We are now full speed ahead for the wedding. Have to get our DJ, photographer, flowers and get the girls dresses ordered, among a million other things.

  My dad is trying to be really supportive and is even trying to help us find a good DJ to use.

  Danny gets offered a job dispatching. He has to go to Hempstead to train every night for a week but the money will be better. He has to talk to his dad and work out a schedule. I worry he is going to kill himself working all these hours and I miss him terribly. Soon though, we will be married.

  We have officially booked the wedding for July 19th. We would have loved to have it on the 7th but this was the only date open for July and it’s a Saturday, so we took it. I start going through my clothes and things so that when I have to pack to move, I won’t have as much. It gives me something to do on the nights that I don’t see him.

  My flyers get me a job with this company and I have to address hundreds of envelopes, but the money is really good, so I take the job.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  March 12th

  Today is the happiest day the papers are official! We now 100% and will not have to cancel anything ever again. In a few months, we will be married.

  My dad took me and we booked the limo together. It was nice having him be a real part of this.

  It’s so nice being able to tell everyone about the plans now. I am doing my own invitations. I got this company to send me a book of invitations and got a really good deal on it. I am going to do calligraphy and address them all myself to save money.

  These weeks are really hard barely getting to see each other. Hopefully, when we are married, he won’t have to work this much. I am hoping that I can get my own business going and be more of a help too.

  We went to the bank and added his name to my account so I could cash his checks and be able to deposit them into the account.

  Danny and I have to take a compatibility test today. It’s mandatory in order to get married.

  Danny is going to talk to his dad about money for the honeymoon with all we have had to pay lately…we really don’t have the money to take a honeymoon. I’m wondering at this pint if we should just elope and make life easier. There are so many decisions to make and with Danny working so much, it’s hard to talk to him about it, so I need to decide on my own and hope I’m making good choices.

  The priest told us that weren’t compatible! Did they really think that we wouldn’t get married now? I didn’t know what to make of it and we didn’t get to see what each other answers were, so we truly have no idea what we didn’t agree on. I know we both want at least two children.

  Danny came home looking upset. “Someone tried to run me off the road tonight.”

  “What do you mean? Are you sure they were trying to run you off the road?” I asked my voice shaking.

  “Yes, I’m pretty sure. I thought someone was following me for a while and then they tried to run me off the road.”

  The phone calls started again and now someone tried to run him off the road. All signs seem to point to my dad
but it’s so hard to believe that he would go to these lengths. I just know that someone is trying to kill him and there are more people than my dad that don’t want to see this happen for us.

  We try really hard to not think about it and were both really careful wherever we went.

  “Mom, do you think dad would try to have Danny killed?” I just have to ask her.

  “I know that he still isn’t exactly thrilled about this wedding but I don’t think he would want to see him hurt or dead. Why are you asking this?” She looks stunned and pale.

  “Someone tried to run Danny off the road tonight and we think someone is trying to hurt him.”

  “Are you serious? Are you sure that maybe it wasn’t his imagination?”

  “I think he knows what someone trying to run him off the road is Mom. He’s a taxi driver for Pete’s sake. But I know we are all a bit on edge these days as the date gets closer.”

  “I just don’t think he would do something that drastic, I don’t.”

  “I know…I just think someone is trying to make this not happen and I know there are quite a few who don’t want it to and I’m not going to rest until it’s over.”

  “How about we go find my dress tomorrow? Just be careful and if it happens again, I will tell the department okay?”

  “That sounds good. I just hope it was someone drunk, being an asshole.”

  I get a call from Debbie and it worries me still. She tells me that Ryan says there is a strange car that drives by the house and seems to be watching them. I only hope that it isn’t the same person who’s been making the calls and tried to run Danny off the road. I did go there a lot to babysit. I hope our troubles didn’t cause them any harm.

  I tell Ryan hat had been going on so he would know to be careful. I didn’t know hat else to do.

  I lay in bed for a long time thinking if someone were really this determined for us not to be married and would they continue to try to hurt him or me? Fear. It found me again. But this time it is for losing him altogether, not just having him apart from me. Why is this happening? How could we stop it, if we didn’t know who it is?