The Heart of Winter

by Emma Hannigan

  ‘Ay, ay captain,’ he grinned as he made his way into the shower at the farmhouse. ‘I never thought I’d swap the artificially induced buzz for natural adrenaline. I feel so much better these days. I can see why your family wanted to keep this place. If I’d grown up here, I wouldn’t have stepped foot outside the land.’

  ‘I’m only beginning to appreciate it properly now,’ Pippa admitted.

  ‘Sometimes we need to go away and experience another way of doing things to really be thankful for what we’ve got,’ Danny said.

  Pippa shooed him into the shower and stepped into her shoes, topped up her lip-gloss and decided she’d do. She hoped Jodi enjoyed every minute of her special day.

  The more she got to know Jodi, the clearer it all became. Successful, rich and enviable people got to be that way via sheer hard work. Nothing fell out of the sky and landed on people’s laps. There had to be a certain amount of luck involved with life, but Pippa now understood that she was in charge of her own destiny. She wanted to do well. She wanted to travel the world and make something of herself. That was on the horizon now thanks to Jodi’s offer.

  But Pippa was also acutely aware that when push came to shove, the place she wanted to come back to, to rest her head, recharge her batteries and feel loved was right here, at home.

  ‘Everything is ready to go next door, so I think I’m going to pop over to Jodi and make sure she’s OK.’

  Pippa shuddered as she turned up the heat in her car. It was one of those sharp frosty winter days. Everything was so crisply clear that it looked as if it had been magically enhanced by God’s HD web designer from above. The sky was a decidedly odd shade, making her suspect snow.

  As she pulled up at Jodi’s house, Pippa spotted Darius in the living room. Suddenly feeling she shouldn’t have come, she was about to drive away when Jodi peeped out and waved. She looked so thrilled that Pippa sighed with relief and got out.

  ‘Hello!’ Jodi said pulling the door open. ‘What a lovely surprise. Wow, you look amazing.’

  ‘You are utterly divine in navy,’ Darius said. ‘So chic.’

  Suddenly star struck and lost for words, Pippa stared. Darius was wearing a deep plum coloured velvet suit. On anyone else it would probably look a fright, but he was so gorgeous it blew her away.

  ‘Ugh, I know,’ Jodi said. ‘He’s disturbingly good-looking when he’s dressed up. Give it an hour and you’ll get used to him.’

  They all laughed as Pippa had to force herself not to gawk. He really was like a Greek god.

  Harry was a lovely guy and Pippa was very fond of him, but she honestly had no idea why Jodi was marrying him in place of Darius. She knew that was a dreadfully fickle thought, but she couldn’t help it.

  ‘I won’t stay long, but I was worried you were on your own. I had visions of you contorting to close your bodice and arriving hassled and upset!’

  ‘You’re so sweet,’ Jodi said as she opened her bathrobe to reveal the dress. ‘I had the makeup artist help me. But that wasn’t up to Darius’s standards, so I’ve been laced up twice,’ she grinned.

  ‘I’m going to go on over to Huntersbrook,’ Darius said. ‘You sure you’re all set, babes?’

  ‘Totally,’ Jodi said, kissing his cheek. ‘See you shortly.’

  ‘Good luck, darling girl,’ he said hugging her tightly. Pippa had never felt more awkward.

  ‘I should go too . . .’

  ‘Oh no, Pippa, please stay,’ Jodi begged. ‘I’m so grateful you called over. I could do with someone to keep me sane. I can do massive movie sets, but walking down that hallway to Harry is just about one of the scariest things I’ll ever have to do.’

  Darius left and Jodi turned to look at Pippa clearly feeling she ought to say something significant. Hesitating she took Pippa’s hand.

  ‘Today isn’t the right day. But sometime I’ll explain the full story about Darius and I. I can almost read your mind. You’re thinking why am I marrying Harry when I had him, right?’

  Pippa nodded.

  ‘It’s complicated, Pippa. Really complicated. As I said, I’ll tell you some time. But for now, I’m ready to get going. Harry is my one. He’s what I’ve always waited for. Trust me.’

  ‘I’m glad,’ Pippa said. ‘You deserve the very best, Jodi.’

  ‘Ah,’ she flapped her hands in front of her face. ‘I don’t want to cry. Will you lead the way?’

  Pippa wished her well and promised she’d be there all day, should Jodi need her.

  ‘I’m so glad we’re friends,’ she said.

  ‘Me too, Jodi,’ she laughed. ‘I still feel like I’m living in a bubble any time I say your name. You’ll have to bear with me. I don’t have many cool super star friends.’

  ‘That makes two of us,’ Jodi jibed.

  As Pippa drove up the main drive of Huntersbrook the little tea-lights in jam jars were all flickering prettily. Pippa looked in the rear view mirror at Jodi, who was beaming in delight. They parked slightly to the side, so Jodi could go in the kitchen entrance. Tommy emerged and opened the car door, handing her the bouquet of red roses Holly had created.

  A single photographer took pictures discreetly as Jodi manoeuvred out of her car. The ribbon matched the pomanders and the colours mirrored the carpet and décor. Pippa wished her well and adjusted the back of her skirt before sending her in through the kitchen.

  ‘You were supposed to come down the stairs, so you can walk the aisle to the front door this way.’

  The string quartet, assembled by Holly from the local orchestra once more, struck up as all the guests stood to gasp at how beautiful Jodi looked. In a vision of antique lace her dark curls and exquisite green eyes made it obvious to everyone there how she’d become a star. As Tommy took her arm proudly and walked her slowly toward the front door, the surrounding windows gave enough of a glimpse to the outside to allow the guests to see the snow that was softly falling.

  Pippa found it hard to hold back her tears as Harry turned to kiss her. The ceremony was simple yet meaningful as the couple exchanged vows they’d written personally.

  Paddy led the group into the living room as Matt, Joey and Jacob stacked the chairs and set them aside. By the time everyone had a glass in hand, the hallway was free for them to mingle once more.

  ‘I know it’ll be freezing, but could we have one photo on the front steps with the snow falling?’ the photographer asked.

  Delighted with the idea, Jodi and Harry went out the front as the guests peered out the front room window.

  ‘Ugh, Steve McQueen couldn’t come up with a better setting,’ Darius said as he bit his knuckle. ‘Stunning.’

  The aromas from the kitchen were delicious as darkness fell. Holly lit the candelabras in the dining room and turned on the strings of fairy lights.

  ‘Now that looks magical,’ Paddy said happily. ‘Fit for a movie star!’

  The meal was perfect. Holly, Pippa and Lainey served the food guided by Sadie’s careful direction. She was supposed to be in charge of Ely, but old habits die hard and she was enjoying being part of the occasion. Matt and Joey served drinks and cleared plates.

  Skye sat at the kitchen table helping Sally with garnishes and making the plates look pretty.

  ‘I feel so useless,’ she said. ‘I’m like a beach ball. It’s not conducive to work I can tell you.’

  ‘All the more reason to have four or five,’ Lainey joked. ‘That way Joey will have to mind you.’

  Once the cake was cut and the speeches were finished, Jodi came into the kitchen and begged the family to come and join them.

  ‘You’ve all been amazing,’ Jodi said. ‘I’m going to do an exclusive interview with Society magazine where I’ll show-case Huntersbrook.’

  ‘Seriously?’ Lainey said.

  ‘I’m in two minds about it though,’ Jodi said. ‘If I tell everyone about here, it’ll probably be booked out next time I want to come!’

  ‘You can come anytime you wish,’ Paddy said. ‘Even if you�
��re not getting married! You’re pretty much family at this point.’

  The evening was so relaxed as the children played skidding on their knees in the hallway. Saul had two of his school friends and little Ely and Liam shadowed them in awe.

  Skye discreetly went off to bed and Lainey took Ely at midnight. Matt and Jacob decided to go too, leaving the others to finish off. Holly and Paddy went home as soon as Jodi and Harry said they were off to bed.

  ‘What time is brekkie in the morning?’ Tommy asked.

  ‘Whatever time you want to eat it,’ Pippa said. ‘It’s up to you. You guys rule the roost.’

  Joey didn’t even try to wake Skye as he joined her in the room. She was out for the count and looked so angelic.

  They were the only non-guests staying at Huntersbrook, so Joey would be on duty in the morning. He left the bedroom door open a crack so he could hear if any of the guests needed anything during the night.

  Sadie was coming in to do breakfast and the wedding party were all departing in the afternoon. Jodi had also announced that she was taking Tommy, Maisy and Liam on honeymoon with them.

  ‘I haven’t seen him for so long. I couldn’t bear the thought of him being here while I was gone.’

  Harry seemed perfectly happy with the scenario, saying he’d never been to the Caribbean and he didn’t mind who accompanied them.

  As she climbed into bed Jodi couldn’t have been happier. She’d enjoyed every second of her wedding day. It was light years away from her first wedding to Darius, when the world’s press had been there clambering to get the most up-close and personal photo of the happy couple.

  She couldn’t fault any part of today. It was exactly as she’d dreamt it should be. Surrounded by the people she truly cared about, Jodi vowed this was how her life was going to be from here on in.

  Gone was the girl who felt she had to prove herself. Gone were the lies that had shrouded her life for so long. Harry would keep her feet on the ground. He was funny, self-effacing and the most genuine guy she’d ever met.

  The added extra was the friendship she’d struck up with Pippa. She was everything Jodi would’ve wanted to be as a child. Fair enough, she was now a world famous star and the envy of many. But to Jodi, Pippa was the one who had it all. Pippa came from a loving home with happy parents, supportive siblings and more togetherness than she’d ever known possible. This family weren’t perfect by any stretch but Jodi could see that they’d gladly walk over hot coals to help one another.

  Pippa had a wild streak that Jodi loved. She was nobody’s fool and there would probably always be something happening in her life that called for arm waving and mild panic. But she had a heart of gold and Jodi knew she was totally trustworthy. The day she’d passed her that note with her mobile number scribbled on it, Jodi had hoped she’d be dependable. But she’d never have guessed quite how lovely Pippa Craig really was.

  She was looking forward to having her on tour when her next movie opened. She already knew they’d giggle until their stomachs ached and that Pippa would do her utmost to make Jodi feel confident about walking out in front of the endless red carpets lined with flash bulbs.

  Not only would she have someone with an eye for fashion, but that person would also be her friend. To Jodi, that was priceless. At long last she had a circle of real and trustworthy people to call her own.

  Jules

  SHE’D LITERALLY JUST MOVED BACK TO HER FLAT after the refurbishment, but Jules wasn’t able to appreciate the time, effort and enormous amount of money she’d put into it. She hadn’t intended on spending any time here alone. She was supposed to stay at her mother’s before heading to Huntersbrook for dinner with Lainey and her family on Christmas Day. Her mother always spent the day with the couple next door, whose idea of fun was a ready-meal in front of the TV with gallons of cheap wine.

  Jules had come back from doing some last-minute shopping when her mother had let rip.

  ‘No presents for your boyfriend in there, I’m guessing?’ She’d put her finger to her lips and pondered. ‘Oh no, you don’t have boyfriends, do you? You’re still insisting on this ridiculous notion that you want to be shacked up with another woman.’

  ‘Mum, please . . .’

  ‘Don’t look at me as if I’m soft in the head. I’m not the one who’s in the wrong here. Do you know what it’s like to be me? Do you? First of all you come crashing into my life when I didn’t need a baby. Then your useless bastard of a father decides he’s had enough. I scrimp and struggle for over three decades and put my life on hold for you . . . You stole the life I was supposed to have, Julia. And for what? Nothing, that’s what . . . I’m ashamed of you.’

  Jules didn’t wait to hear another word. She took a roll of black plastic bin liners and filled them with all her belongings.

  ‘Oh fabulous,’ her mother sneered. ‘So you’re leaving me on my own at Christmas! Well that just proves my point. You’re good-for-nothing, Julia. Nothing.’

  ‘For the record, Mum, you’ve never shown me anything but contempt. Crazy as it might sound to you, I didn’t ask to be born. I never intentionally set out to ruin your life. You did that all by yourself. You’ve nobody else to blame. At the end of the day when you look in the mirror, that reflection shows the only person who can tell you how you feel. The bitterness and negativity that you ooze is all your own doing. I won’t spend another minute with you if you’re going to treat me so badly. You’re the only family I’ve got and it tears me up inside when you speak to me that way. I want to love you, Mum, but you make it so damn hard . . .’

  ‘You can’t choose your family, Julia, and God help me I was saddled with you,’ she said refusing to hear a single word Jules was saying.

  Moments later, Jules was driving down the motorway with her car stacked to the roof with bulging black bags. She didn’t cry until she finished moving all the stuff back into her flat. The smell of fresh paint and new carpets should’ve lifted her spirits, but instead it made her feel even more alone. The idea had been to go to the January sales with Lainey and buy some accessories and personal touches to brighten the otherwise neutral palette she’d chosen. She’d bought the flat two years previously and hadn’t a spare cent to do anything with it. So until now, it had been a mish-mash of donated and unwanted pieces all of which clashed with the orange walls.

  ‘In fairness,’ said Lainey diplomatically. ‘Not much actually goes with that shade of Orangutan.’

  She could go to Lainey’s house now. She knew her friend would welcome her with open arms, crack open a bottle of wine, wrap her in a blanket and tell her that her mother was Satan’s sister. But Jules couldn’t even face Lainey right now. She needed to take stock. She needed to figure out where her life was going.

  She was making good money at the County Council offices. It was a dependable and pensionable job and she knew there were further promotions to be gained. But it hardly set her world alight. Since Lainey had left she had nobody to bounce things off or to share an eye-rolling glance with when the boss went off on a tangent with those little pools of spittle at either side of his mouth.

  Jules needed a sense of purpose. She needed to know that there was a valid reason why she absolutely needed to be part of the population. She didn’t want to kill herself. She’d no desire to harm herself. But she knew one thing – she felt empty. She poured a large glass of red wine and lit the fire. It was one of the swanky new gas ones that jumped to life instantly and looked pretty darn real. She dimmed the lights and put on the radio. She couldn’t stomach Christmassy TV and felt the music might help lift her spirits.

  It had been an odd year. She’d thought Sylvia was the love of her life. They’d clicked instantly and had so much in common. The relationship wasn’t forced or frenzied in any way. It just seemed to roll smoothly. She’d been genuinely gutted when Sylvia had strode into the bar and stood at the table, clutching the strap of her handbag and announced that she was no longer a lesbian and she was going out with her flatmate, Mike.r />
  In relationships past, Jules would’ve run after her sobbing and begging her to change her mind. She’d have called her at two o’clock in the morning, drunk and desperate. Not this time. Although she was hurting more than she ever had before, she knew there was no point in throwing herself on the railway track when the train had already left the station.

  Her head throbbed as her mother’s cruel words resonated through her head like a woodpecker slowly boring a hole in a tree. She’d finished the first glass of wine and poured the second when the idea came to her.

  ‘You can’t choose your family, Julia . . .’

  The idea was inspired! She sat back and took a large gulp. The more she thought about it, the better it seemed. Grabbing her phone, she dialled Lainey’s number.

  ‘Jules?’ She answered on the second ring.

  ‘Oh thank God you’re still awake. Can you talk for a minute?’

  ‘Yeah. I’m just home. We had Jodi Ludlum’s wedding at Huntersbrook today.’

  ‘Of course you did,’ she said. ‘I forgot for a minute. How was it?’

  ‘Amazing, Jules. She’s such an awesome girl. I think she really enjoyed it all too. But forget that, what’s up? You sound . . . Odd . . .’

  ‘Yeah, it’s been an odd evening. I’m back at the flat. Mum had the queen of all meltdowns earlier so I stuffed all my things into black sacks and came to the flat.’

  ‘Aw Jules, come down here, sweetie. Don’t stay there on your own. I’d say it’s depressing.’

  ‘It’s not too bad. The fire is deadly. Mixed with the wine, it’s all the accessorising I need for the moment.’

  Lainey laughed.

  ‘Was it really bad earlier with your mum?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Jules said honestly. ‘She’s never going to accept me, Lainz. The main problem with her is that she hates herself. She’s toxic and I can’t actually help her any more. It’s exhausting, quite frankly.’

  ‘I honestly don’t know how she managed to produce you,’ Lainey said. ‘You don’t deserve to be stuck with her.’