Pride and Passion

by Jenna Bayley-Burke

  “I’m going to grab lunch from the deli. Would you like me to bring you back something?” She tilted her head, her honey blonde hair cascading over her shoulder.

  “Maybe I should take you to lunch. Celebrate.”

  “Did you finish the design for the Clairmont?” She stepped closer to his desk, her gaze scanning the top until it rested on the printout he’d meant to bring her earlier. She picked up the sheet of paper and studied it. “Structurally it’s sound enough to remove those wretched columns?”

  He looked up at her sparkling eyes, wondering how in the world she’d gone from his ideal woman to absolutely perfect in a few short months.

  “The columns were added sixty years ago to make the elevation more ornate.”

  She pulled a face that made him laugh.

  “No accounting for taste. But they can come down, and with the other changes it will look true to period, just earthquake safe.”

  “You did a wonderful job.” She set the paper back on his desk. “Not that I am much of a judge.”

  His brow furrowed. “You’ve learned more in the last two months than most do in a year. If I thought you’d be happy here, I’d have you step in as president.”

  Her eyes widened in shock, then narrowed. “If you are trying to make some kind of deal…”

  “No, I wouldn’t ask that of you. Just like I need to be able to design here to be happy with the rest of my business, you need to be surrounded by your books and other people who understand what you see in them. It’s all too intellectual for me.”

  “You’re an intellectual.”

  “Business and literary criticism are very different.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “I’m not a critic.”

  “What are you then, a theorist?”

  She stood a little taller. “That’s more accurate, I suppose.”

  “And you need it to be happy. When do you start your doctoral program?”

  She bit her bottom lip and brushed something from the skirt of her dress. “I’m not sure. It depends on the program I can afford.”

  He stood and rounded the desk to stand next to her. “You know money won’t be an issue once we’re married.”

  She looked up at him. “Jake, we’re not getting married.”

  “You don’t actually plan on marrying that Ian idiot, do you?”

  She released a sharp bark of laughter. “Of course not.”

  “You might want to tell him that. He just called, accusing me of all sorts of devious acts. Even threatened to sue me.”

  Her eyes widened. “I’m so sorry. He had no right.”

  Jake reached out and took her hand. “I know that. But I also told him why I knew you weren’t marrying him. But I refuse to invite him to the wedding. On the phone is one thing, but if he actually said something to me in person, I’d have to toss him.”

  “Jake, were not—”

  He tugged her hand, pulling her flush against him. “Not what?”

  “Not doing this again, for one thing.” She tried to back away, but it only made him hold on tighter.

  “This is all either one of us can think about.” He slid his mouth against hers, threading a hand through her silken mass of hair. She tried to resist at first, but once he moved his tongue against her full bottom lip her body overrode her defiance and she opened for him.

  When he kissed her he could forget that she’d just rejected him again. Her arms around his waist, her hands sliding over his shirt, provided an acceptance that soothed the ache he felt each time she said no. He moved one leg between hers, pressing her as close as he could manage.

  “This is so much better without clothes.”

  Her shocked gasp turned into a smile as he ran his hands over her body, wondering if this dress were really as simple to remove as it looked. If he only tugged on the sash the whole thing would unwrap just like a present.

  “Can’t you imagine how amazing it would be, Angel? When we’re married it could be like this every day, every time.”

  She wound her hand through his hair, pulling his head down so she could whisper in his ear. “It’s a modern world, Jake. We don’t have to be married.”

  “I’m not waiting for the license, Angel. A simple ‘yes, I’ll marry you’ will do.” His hand traced along the neckline of the dress, just under the hem so he could feel the top of her breast.

  “Jake, are you here?” Dee’s voice drifted through the office and Lily stiffened in his arms. She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her move as Dee entered the room.

  “What have we here?” Dee looked at him with amusement and annoyance. “Is this what you wanted to teach her, Jake? How to make it with the boss in his office? You think that’s a life skill she needs to know, or did she know it already?”

  Lily swayed at the harsh words but Jake held her firm, wishing she had enough chutzpah to be the one to tell Dee where to put her opinions.

  “Dee, if you need to see me you should call first and Lily will set up a time for you. That way you won’t interrupt anything important.”

  “Afternoon delight is important to you?” Dee shook her head, her voice pumped full of contempt. “What is it you think you’re doing?”

  Lily buried her face in his shoulder, which felt like a sucker punch to his gut. He knew Dee was only looking to protect him, but she needed to stop hurting Lily in the process. “I’m convincing Lily she does in fact want to marry me. If you’ll leave, I’d like to get back to it. It did seem to be working for a change.”

  “Lily, you had better marry him quick, before he sees what you’re doing and changes his mind. I hope for both your sakes this is a mess he knows how to clean up.” Dee left the room with a flourish, slamming the door behind her.

  “Well, that could have gone better.” Jake eased his hold on Lily, looking down at her to make sure she wasn’t crying. There were no tears, but her entire body was trembling.

  “Why do you keep telling people we’re getting married? First Ian and now Dee. Why are you doing this?”

  “Because we are getting married. Dee is just trying to protect me, and Ian is an idiot. Don’t let either of them get to you. But word will get around, so you’ll have to get used to people knowing. Not all of them will look down on you for marrying beneath you. There are some who actually think I’m quite the catch.”

  “So marry one of them. I am not marrying you for a home or for tuition or for sex.”

  He didn’t want her to. But he’d rather die alone than beg her to love him. It would be a cold day in hell before he’d ever admit how he truly felt about her. Once she knew she had that over him, he’d be completely at her mercy and he was never going to be helpless to anyone again.

  “You had better take that lunch break now. The thing with marrying beneath you is that the person you’re marrying isn’t above anything. A minute ago I was done waiting for you to marry me before I made you mine. And I do know you, Lily. If we had made love, then soon enough you would have had a reason to need me. You would never deny your child a father, even one as beneath you as me.”

  “I have never said that I was better than you. That is all in your head, not mine. But when you act like a caveman ready to pull me around by my hair, I do wonder just what happened to you to make you think so little of yourself.”

  He took a step toward her, surprised when she didn’t move an inch. “You’d better go now, Angel. You wouldn’t want me to show you.”

  ***

  “How did it go?”

  The deep voice startled Lily and she nearly dropped her book. She turned in the wingback chair, the leather creaking beneath her.

  Jake stood in the doorway of the sitting room, his hands in the pockets of his tailored trousers. Even with his shirt unbuttoned and his tie loosened, he still looked perfectly put together. She tried to stretch her lips into a smile, but it just wouldn’t come.

  “What are you doing here?” She turned around, opening her book again. Really, she should have chosen something
more scholarly than the latest attempt at a Pride & Prejudice sequel, and she would have if she’d thought she’d be caught. But Jake hadn’t been to the house since the incident in the kitchen.

  His every footstep reverberated throughout her body. Maybe she needed to have the way he affected her checked out by a medical professional. Just not his girlfriend Susanna. She probably had the same affliction.

  “That bad? I was sure you had it nailed.” He crouched down beside her chair, his gaze permeating her until she couldn’t help but look at him.

  “What are you talking about?” With him this close her mind filled with his compelling dark gaze, the firm features of his face, the confident set of his shoulders. There wasn’t much room left for thoughts.

  “Your thesis. But if it went badly we don’t have to talk about it. Next term you won’t have to work and you’ll kill them.”

  She blinked, trying to tamp down the warm feeling spreading through her. Whenever Jake was nice to her she wound up doing things that only left her humiliated. But still, it was touching that he cared enough to know she defended her thesis today, that he actually wanted to know how it went.

  “The committee seemed impressed. I won’t have the final opinion until after the holidays, but they didn’t raise any red flags so it should go through.”

  He reached out and squeezed her knee. “You had me going there. I knew you had it, but you don’t seem excited.”

  “I’m relieved, I think. I’ll be excited after the holidays are over and I know where I stand.” With everyone, not just the thesis committee at the university.

  His warm hand remained on her leg. “Have you given any thought to holiday plans? We could have a party at the house like you’ve always done.”

  Her eyes grew gritty at the mere suggestion. Her grief had barely begun to wane. She kept busy to keep from dwelling on how much she missed her father. Now that she only had work to keep her from wallowing in her own thoughts, she didn’t know how she was going to make it through.

  “Or not. I didn’t think you’d be up for it, that’s why I hadn’t suggested it.” He squeezed her knee again and stood. “Next year, maybe.”

  “It’s your house. I’ll help with any planning that you need. It’s just that the holidays have always been a sad time for me.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I thought you loved Christmas.”

  She shook her head. “The magic wore off when my mother died. The parties were about keeping occupied so we didn’t have too much time to miss her. There’s a lot of charity work around the holidays, so I did that too. But this year I’m not exactly on any of the donor lists.”

  “If you want to be I can make some calls. Once we’re married I know you’ll be right back at the top of the list. As you should be.”

  Lily lifted her chin as she looked up at him. “No, I don’t want to be under the spotlight this year. It’s best that I have my space to figure out the next step.” Like how to get him to stop pursuing her, when the idea of distracting him with Dee Gibson now made her physically ill. It was still the best tactic she could think of, but it no longer had the appeal it once did.

  He dropped his hands into his pockets. “So what are you thinking of doing for the holidays? It’s only a week until the office goes dark.”

  She gave an evasive shrug, not having an answer. She’d been avoiding thinking about it. Last year she’d been so over-committed she’d barely had a moment to breathe, let alone miss her mother. Her mind flashed on Jake being at nearly every event she’d attended, how he’d even been at the Christmas Eve dinner her father held for his closest friends. Jake had surprised her with a gift, a volume of Jane Austen’s letters.

  Of course, she hadn’t gotten anything for him, and so felt doubly guilty when presented with something so thoughtful. Looking back she felt worse than ever. Yes, he was ruthless and determined, but her reasons for fearing him had nothing to do with Jake. She realized now it all had to do with being afraid of her reaction to him.

  She’d treated him terribly, and even after all that he’d done in providing her a refuge from the reporters swirling around a steamy story, and she knew her reputation would have crumbled without his support. If it wasn’t for his knack for kissing her stupid and then walking away, she might almost like him. That was what made him so dangerous to her.

  The way she lived for his praise and insight wasn’t helping matters either. He’d allowed her the ideal set-up to learn about the architecture firm her father and grandfather had loved so much. Now he was practically her mentor, sharing the details of every project so that she knew everything she could think of about the company. People who had treated her with sadness and pity when she first came on board now looked to her for advice and answers. All of it combined to boost her sense of self-worth right out of the gutter.

  When she’d made the bargain with Jake she’d wanted to gain skills she could use elsewhere, but what she’d learned most was that she was capable. Of anything she set her mind to. And that was worth far more than the administrative and technical knowledge she’d gained. She’d always appreciate him for that gift.

  Jake’s warm hand slid beneath her chin, catching her attention. “Why don’t you let me take you to dinner to celebrate finishing your degree? I’ll even swear off boring you about projects and let you bend my ear about what you plan on theorizing for your doctorate.”

  “You don’t bore me with the projects.” She swallowed hard and stared down at the book in her lap. Her father had always thought advanced degrees were a waste of time since she’d likely be a society wife with nothing more to do than plan parties and debate spa treatments. Every man she’d ever dated had emphatically agreed she was wasting her time with school. But from the first time she’d met him, Jake had always been supportive of her education, even defending her choices a time or two when others thought it whimsical and romantic that she studied at all.

  Maybe the void of being finished with school this term was getting to her, or she had some kind of residual head injury from the fall. Right this moment she wanted to wrap her arms around Jake Tolliver’s neck and thank him. Thank him for being a shelter in the storm these last few months, for believing her more than the beautiful twit most wrote her off as. Really, this sense of admiration and gratitude was dangerous when blended with the hum of attraction she always felt around him.

  “Talk about the buildings doesn’t bore you because you understand it. Believe me, it can send other people into a coma.”

  Lily forced a weak smile, thinking he must be referring to Dee. Lucky for her, the reminder of his other women was just the ice water she needed to wake herself up.

  “I’m not in the mood for dinner. Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m staying in.”

  He shrugged. “I’ll see what Emmaline can whip up for us.” He stepped behind her toward the door. She spun in her chair.

  “No, don’t. She’s going out tonight and I told her not to bother with anything. She’ll cancel if you ask anything of her.”

  “Cancel what?”

  Lily couldn’t help but grin. “Her date. John from the landscaping service. He’s been after her forever. I finally talked her into it.”

  “Quite the matchmaker, aren’t you?”

  “She deserves to be happy. She’s been so down since my father’s illness. Anything is better than moping around here.”

  “Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

  With a sigh, she returned her attention to the book. She didn’t want to argue with him, not when it had ended so volatile last time.

  She re-read the same page three times, waiting to hear the front door slam closed. Instead, she felt her hair move, his fingers playing in the strands behind her.

  “I’m sorry if that came out harsh. But who’s going to be honest with you if I’m not, Lily?”

  Who indeed. He was honest, brutally so even when it hurt. But she couldn’t answer. Her emotions were in such a swirl she was afraid opening her mouth would
cause the façade to crack and he’d see she’d begun to soften toward him. She couldn’t see a future without him in it, which scared her more than she’d ever admit. She had to make a break soon, or she’d give in to him more than physically.

  “I don’t think you should be in the house for Christmas. Not this year.”

  She nodded, having considered getting away as a balm to soothe the ache of missing her parents. But she couldn’t afford to use any of her savings for a vacation when she needed every penny to get an apartment.

  “We should spend the holidays together.” He said the words tentatively, as if testing the waters.

  She shook her head. “I can’t do the party circuit this year. I just don’t have it in me to smile and hug all those people who’ve ignored me these last few months. And staying in town wouldn’t be much better than staying here.” Besides, if she stayed here she could pack what she’d be taking to her new apartment and decide which pieces of jewelry she’d have to sell to be able to afford to live on her own.

  “I hate the parties too. The only ones I ever liked were the ones here.”

  “It is a wonderful house for entertaining. It’s no wonder why you were so willing to buy it.”

  He came around the chair, again crouching so his intent gaze pierced through her. “I bought it for you, Lily. You know I am absolutely infatuated with you.”

  The smile creeping across his handsome face was completely disarming. She struggled with resisting him whenever he was kind. Showing it would give him the key to breaking down all her defenses.

  Lily swallowed hard and cut her gaze back to the book. “Don’t let Dee hear you say that. She might have let you get away with it once, but I doubt she’ll put up with it again.”

  He shook his head regretfully. “Stop trying to put Dee between us. It doesn’t work.”

  “Just because it’d be your ideal situation doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother me.”

  “It shouldn’t. From the first time I touched you, I haven’t been able to think of anyone else. You consume me completely, and the more I learn about you the more I know my instincts about us were right. I won’t act the fool for you, Lily, but I certainly feel it often enough.”