Promise: The Scarred Girl

by Maya Shepherd

  “Welcome to Shepherd's Field,” says one of the two women. “We will bring the animals to the barn, wait here.” Then they left Nea in the chapel's courtyard while they take the goats to the barn.

  None of the other Carris in the area give her much notice, so her camouflage seems to work. Some give her a brief smile, which she politely returns. The dog runs around the courtyard. She sees that a huge portrait was drawn in white on the red chapel. It shows a young man's face. The man's eyes are stinging and full of hate. His mouth is wide as if he were screaming. His hair is chin length and juts out all over his head. He looks scary.

  Miro's fist thundered into the wall right next to Nea's head. Startled, she jumped and ducked another blow.

  “How dare you try to sell my jacket? Do you not know the difference between mine and yours?” He shouted in anger.

  “You still have your coat,” Nea defended herself a little loudly.

  Coarsely, Miro grabbed her by the shoulders and began to shake her roughly. “Why did you do that? What have I done to you?”

  Nea had tried to sell the leather jacket out of pure jealousy. The blonde had given it to Miro and Nea hated to see him in it every day. But she would not tell him.

  “It did not fit you. You are too cool for it,” she claimed defiantly and crossed her arms across her chest defensively.

  Miro let out a frustrated cry and thundered his fist against the wall again. When he withdrew it, Nea saw blood dripping from his knuckles.

  “Stop that. You will only hurt yourself,” she implored him. Miro looked hesitantly down at her and narrowed his eyes to slits. “No, hurting myself hurts you more than it hurts me.”

  One last time, Miro crashed his fist into the rough wall before he angrily stormed away.

  “Idiot!” Nea shouted after him. She knew that it would be days, or even longer, before she saw him again. But he would come back, she was sure of it.

  Upon reading the caption under the drawing on the wall, Nea recognizes that it is supposed to be an image of Ereb. Under the picture is written, “Ereb is chaos. Chaos is Ereb.”

  At that moment, her faithful companion begins to growl. Startled, she turns around and is almost blinded by the bright yellow robe of the man that stands before her. Nea knows that yellow is the color of an Ereb priest. It is the highest rank that can be reached in the Carris. The man has short hair, light blonde, almost white. His pale skin is nearly translucent, his eyes appear watery. He clearly looks weird. Though he gives Nea a beaming smile, the man still appears to be a chilly sight. Still, she smiles back at the priest and bows humbly before him.

  Nea expects that he will tell her to rise, but he remains silent, so Nea remains bowed before him and feels his penetrating gaze upon her back.

  Finally, he stretches his hand down to Nea's mouth. Nea could see a ring on the hand. The ring was adorned with a seal, an image of Ereb. In reality, Nea could care less about Ereb and would prefer to tell this priest of her opinion, but she has no choice, so she breathes a kiss on the ring.

  “You may rise,” the man says imperiously. Nea already knew that the Carris must be crazy, but she did not think they were also megalomaniacs. She stands up straight and looks the stranger in the eyes without fear. The dog has now hidden behind her. He seems to be afraid of this strange man.

  “I'm Urelitas. I have already been informed of your story, but I would like to hear it again from you.”

  As he speaks, he keeps his nose high, as if it could touch the sky.

  Nea tells him the same thing she had already told the four animal guardians and hopes that the Carris really do send out patrols and sniffer dogs. If not, this priest will know for sure and she will be exposed as a liar.

  As Nea ends her story, the man looks at her thoughtfully.

  “From what city are you coming?” He asks. Nea is glad that she has already thought of an answer to this question.

  “From our beloved city, Fortania. It was always an honor to be able to live so close to Ereb.”

  Fortania is the largest city in Dementia and is also the alleged seat of Ereb, if he actually does exist. In addition, Fortania is the southernmost seat of the Carris and thus is closest to her actual target: Promise.

  Nea, of course, has never been to Fortania, but it is the only city in the whole of Dementia whose name she knows.

  “How true, and I long each day to be allowed to visit Fortania and Ereb. You should return there tomorrow, I'll also send two messengers. Ereb himself will decide where you will be used next.”

  Nea tries to hide her joy, Urelitas seems to believe her.

  “Thank you very much! You make me the happiest person in the world!” Her words are full of irony, but the priest does not notice anything. He turns up his nose and just walks away.

  Nea kneels to her companion and happily holds out her hand, as if the dog could grasp it back. Hilariously, the dog jumps up and wags his tail, happy to be alone with her again. Laughing, Nea takes his paw and gently shakes it with her hand. “We made it!”

  Six

  After the joy of deceiving Urelitas is gone, she wonders what she should do now. It is already dark and the Carris have retired to their homes. The noises in the barn are getting quieter and she does not know where she should go. Before the noises quiet down completely, she decides to go look in the barn rather quickly to see if anyone is inside.

  When she opens the big red barn door, it creaks loudly. In the barn are stacks of hay bales in linen bags and somewhere around 200 sheep and goats herded closely together. But the strangest thing is that dangling from the ceiling is an electric light bulb, illuminating the barn. She has not seen electric light in six years. It is like some kind of miracle.

  Nea was firmly convinced that she would only find such a thing in Promise, but seeing one with the Carris in a barn is crazy. Mesmerized, she stares at the lamp. After a few seconds, she realizes she has been caught. She looks down and sees the two smiling faces of the female shepherds she met with earlier in the day.

  A few hours before, they seemed distant and standoffish, but now they give her a loving, albeit slightly skeptical, smile. Nea thinks they look similar to each other.

  “Do you have no power in the south?”

  Nea shakes her head, “Not in the stables,” she is quick to add, to make the women not suspicious.

  “We only have power in the stales because they are the most important thing for us. It would be insane to illuminate the stables with candles, with all the hay and straw.”

  Nea thinks this is absolutely crazy.

  “You need to set up a camp for the night and something to eat, right?” The other woman asks.

  Nea confirms her question with a nod.

  “We would be happy to help. You can stay in the barn with us tonight if you want. You can bring your dog inside as well.”

  “You sleep in the barn?”

  “Not every night, but tonight we are guarding the animals, because tomorrow we will accompany you to Fortania. We miss our animals already.”

  Nea gives them a sympathetic smile. “I would not go anywhere without my dog,” she says. At first she says this to pretend to understand, but once it is uttered, she feels that it is true. She would miss the dog, even though it has only been with her for two days.

  “But it would nice to go to Fortania again. We often went with our parents for shopping before the plague hit. At that time, the city was of course different. There was always something special for us in the big city with all the great shops that did not exist in the villages.” So they were sisters.

  Nea sees the glow in their eyes as they tell her about their past. Nea recognizes that the twins were normal girls once, with ordinary pastimes and a penchant for fashion. If they did not wear the red robes, Nea would have never guessed them for being Carris members.

  When all the animals are fed, they spread out their sleeping bags. One of the Carris women gives Nea’s companion some dry food to eat. The dog does not look too ent
husiastic about the food, but he still cleans his bowl. Even dry food is better than no food.

  For the people, there are cold preserves. Nea has the choice between a vegetable stew and a meatloaf with rice. Nea chooses the vegetable stew. The twins remind Nea again that they are Carris and as such must thank Ereb for their food and health before they take the first bite. Good thing they started before Nea, because it would never have occurred to her to thank Ereb.

  The food tastes almost as bad as the dog’s food, but at least it makes the unpleasant growl in her belly go away.

  The icy wind whips Nea’s hair all through the air, while the rain beat her mercilessly in the face. Why did Miro send her to fetch water now? Could this not have waited until the next morning? Surely he could see how bad the weather was.

  Surely this was just another form of revenge for something she said. They constantly offended and insulted each other. Any strangers watching them would never get the idea that they were best friends.

  In the moments when they quarreled, Nea hated Miro with all of her heart. She wanted to beat him black and blue. But as soon as he was not close to her, she again longed for him. No matter how mean he was sometimes, she never wanted to be without him.

  With a loud creak, Nea opened the wooden door of the old warehouse where they have taken shelter for the past few days. Nea paused in amazement. She felt neither wind nor rain, but could only stare fascinated at the dirty floor. Several burning tea candles stood in a circle. In the middle of the circle was a wooden box, a sort of make-shift table. Miro had a piece of fabric spread over it as a table cloth. On this table were a wide candle, a bottle of wine, and two plates.

  “It’s cold, close the door, or are you frozen?” Miro called from another corner of the room where a fire was burning in a barrel.

  Irritated, Nea entered the room. When the door closed, a gust of wind escaped into the room and then a loud bang signaled that the door was now closed. Startled, she winced.

  She had not expected this. Miro was rarely openly nice to her. There were more and more little hidden gestures and glances that showed her how much he liked her, but this was new. Or perhaps this was not for her? Had he done all this for one of those other girls?

  “I never took you for a romantic,” Nea teased, without showing how much she liked it.

  “Do you like it?”

  Nea bit her lower lip. From outside, the wind raged against the house and the rain could be heard on the tin roof. Nevertheless, she felt her cheeks begin to glow.

  “For whom did you do that?”

  “Who do you think?”

  “I have an idea.”

  Miro began to laugh. Nea loved his laugh, because it came out of the belly, forcing her to smile every time. “Here, sit down. Easy.”

  He had made it for her. Unbelievable! Nea’s heart frantically began to pound when she brushed the wet coat from her shoulders and knelt in front of the fabric-covered box. Now she began to recognize the faint scent of warm chicken soup and her stomach growled hungrily.

  “Good evening, madam. You have done well to find our little modest restaurant,” joked Miro as he bowed to her as a waiter.

  Nea snorted loudly, but played along enthusiastically. Even as children they loved to play restaurant. “Excuse me sir, but there is dirt on the floor.”

  “But madam, that is not dirt, that is stardust. It saddens me that you cannot see that. May I cheer you up with the first course?”

  “Yes, I think I will try the first course.”

  “For the first course, I will serve a delicious chicken soup, fresh from the can, the specialty of the house.”

  Miro handed her a bowl of steaming soup he had warmed over the fire.

  Since they had no cutlery, Nea put the bowl to her lips and took a sip.

  “What do you say, dear? Does it meet your high standards?”

  “You said it was canned soup.”

  “Yes it is madam, is something wrong?”

  “It tastes kinda different than usual.”

  Miro smiled at her, a smile that warmed her heart. “That is because it has been refined with love.”

  Suddenly, one of the twins slapped her forehead with the back of her hand.

  “Oh man, how rude of us, we have not even introduced ourselves to you. I’m Hope, and my sister is called Faith. As you have probably already seen, we are twins, but if you look closely, you can tell us apart.” She added this last part with a grin and winked at Faith. These two had some unusual names. But there is nothing special in this world, names are names. Nea never really thought about names.

  “I’m Nea,” she said. Her parents had a taste for Finland and therefore named their only child a Finnish name.

  Nea started looking at their faces curiously. She cannot see their bodies through their habits, all she can see is their faces, both are smiling brightly. Talking to Nea must bring them pleasure. In their cheeks, Nea can see small pits and can imagine how they must have been ridiculed before the illness took so many people.

  Both have striking green eyes, slightly reddish eyebrows, snow white skin, little snub noses, and narrow pink lips. From their ears dangle earrings with the same image of Ereb that Urelitas wore on his finger. The Carris seem to have designed an entire jewelry collection just to drive their madness for Ereb even further. Nea recognizes a difference in their faces. While the two of them are giggling, her sight is drawn to Hope’s right earlobe. “See here, I have a small birthmark on my ear, Faith does not have one.”

  While Nea admired their earrings, one of the sisters asked, “Do you have any siblings?”

  Nea shakes her head no.

  “Oh, what a pity... but it’s really not that bad, since the Carris is something similar to a family.” Faith smiles blissfully and seems to really believe what she says.

  Nea can explain many reasons why someone might want to be with the Carris, but to call the Carris a family would be exaggerated and excessive.

  “Well, I would not necessarily describe the Carris as a family...” Nea let slip out. Even if she is one of them, she must not agree to all they do. In addition, she likes these girls and wants to at least be honest with them. Faith and Hope stare at her with wide, disbelieving eyes.

  “Are you not happy with the Carris?”

  “There is no substitute for a family. In a family... I mean, no one is all-powerful and there are no priests who have more to say than anyone else.”

  “But of course. Was your dad not the head of your family? And try to imagine that you had older siblings who believed themselves to be better and smarter than you. The main thing for a family to be is to be there for each other and believe in the same things.”

  “And what about the slaves? Is it not unfair that they have to stay with us and not be free to decide their fate?”

  The two look at each other and hesitate with an answer. “Yes, you are right, but we really just rely on their help. In addition, we treat them well. They always have something to eat and never feel cold. You cannot beat that,” both nod in approval of their words.

  Nea understands where they are coming from. In their view, they know it is wrong, but are trying to be nice. They do not want to think about it, let alone talk about it.

  Therefore, she puts out the light and the girls all snuggle up in the warm sleeping bags. Nea’s dog curls up on her feet and puts his head on the sleeping bag. The straw crackles at every little movement, but it is however very soft, even softer than the tree branches she usually camps in, softer even than the bed in Luica’s tent. The only sounds that can be heard are the soft snorting and trampling of animals. With so many unfamiliar noises, she finds it difficult to fall asleep, even though she is very tired.

  Hope and Faith are both nice to her and unlike Luica, Harold, and Zippi; they seem to be really honest. They have no reason to lie to her. On the contrary, Nea is the one who is into foul play. Although she does not plan to hurt these two in any way, she is sure the girls will feel betrayed if
they learn at some point that Nea has never been one of them. She knows only too well what that feels like and feels sorry that she now has to do that to someone. Her conscience plagues her already, even though her betrayal of them will be in a few days. She has no other choice if she wants to go to Promise. How did she get into this? She always thinks she’s incredibly smart and strong, but deep inside, she just a sensitive soul, like Miro always said.

  The next morning, Nea awakes when Faith gently shakes her on the shoulder. It took her a long time before she could fall asleep at all.

  The animals are still in their gates, which means it must be early in the morning. Hope pushes a bowl of cold water into her hands so she can wash her face. Just as the first drop falls upon her face, the barn door creaks open, followed by a loud barking dog. Urelitas enters in his bright yellow robe. Faith and Hope kneel on their knees and Nea joins in when she sees them prostrate themselves before the priest. “Greetings, High Priest!”

  Some time passes before Urelitas says, “Good morning, followers of the one true faith!”

  He seems to love showing off his power. Nea is just glad she does not have to kiss the stupid ring again. Faith and Hope are focused on him, but her eyes wander mutely around the barn, she does not dare look directly at Urelitas. They are very afraid of him and Urelitas seems to know this because he enjoys dragging this out and making it even more intimidating for Hope and Faith.

  “It is a great honor for you to be selected by me to travel to Fortania. You are aware that this is only because you have been a member of Carris for so long. If anything goes wrong, it will be your first and last time, do you understand me?”