Promise: The Scarred Girl

by Maya Shepherd

  They both nod in a hurry, while Nea’s heart starts to feel even heavier. She did not want to hurt anyone and now the twins that have received her so warmly into their midst will soon be hurt in a big way. Secretly she wishes she were able to resist her conscience and seal her thoughts about betraying them away. But her conscience is feeling guilty, even though she has not betrayed them yet. Even though it has not happened, she feels as though it has.

  Urelitas now turns to her. “Spread the message on your path of chaos and punish the unbelievers. Who knows, maybe Ereb will send you back to me.”

  Nea’s stomach cramps when she sees his smug grin.

  “It was an honor to meet you,” she politely replies and lowers her head in mock humility. She appears to feel she is inferior to him, but she knows inside that she is not.

  Again he remains there briefly before her. But then he finally leaves with the words, “Ereb is chaos, chaos is Ereb.” He exits the barn and the moment the door closes behind him, Hope and Faith breathe a sigh of relief.

  “I thought I would pass out when he came around us. We’ve known him for years, but he is still no less frightening.” Hope says excitedly.

  “How was your commander in chief?” Faith asks Nea.

  “He was a part of our unit, the only difference was he wore a yellow robe,” Nea says.

  “I am so happy you get to go back with us.” They both grin conspiratorially at Nea. Nea would prefer to run away rather than continue to lie to them.

  A few minutes later, they pack up their sleeping bags and leave the village. As soon as the village is behind them, Hope pushes a small loaf of still-warm bread and a bottle of milk into Nea’s hand. “When you have a long journey ahead of you, you should at least have some breakfast. Urelitas says those who pray to Ereb need no food and should free their selves from earthly needs, but our bellies do not quite understand that.” The fact that they are so faithful makes them more sympathetic.

  The bread is delicious. The dog stares at her with ever so trusting eyes wanting her to give her some bread. But Nea does not want to seem to be disrespectful and ungrateful, but then Hope is the first to throw the dog a piece. “Who could resist those eyes?” She giggles and then Faith throws him the next piece. She throws a piece of bread into the air, only to see the dog jump and catch it in the air. Not a single piece touches the ground. In the end, the dog eats as much bread as the three women.

  Around noon, they pass one of the fields where the slaves work. When the twins see that they grow strawberries, they view this as a perfect time for a little break and run to the guards on the field. Nea feels uncomfortable when she feels the contemptuous glances of the slaves themselves. A little boy causes her to be surprised because he reminds her of Zippi. She watches him for a bit. Perspiration stands on his forehead and his arms are covered with mud up to his elbows. This child looks like he would rather have fun than work with his dirty hands, he looks very unhappy. Stealthily he looks around and then stuffs one of the strawberries in his mouth. Nea smiles and thinks that the boy could actually eat the whole bucket. But the others do not seem to see it that way, because at that moment, one of the overseers comes running toward him screaming.

  “You dare to steal from Ereb?” the overseer thunders with his powerful voice. The boy quickly shakes his head, whereupon the overseer swings back with his big hand and smacks the boy in the side of his head. The little boy flies to the side. The sight of this tears Nea’s heart and before she can think, she’s already screaming. “Leave him alone!” The overseer turns around to her. The eyes of everyone are on her.

  “He’s just a child!” She now defends herself, somewhat sheepishly.

  “But he must not steal from Ereb. This is something children must learn early on, otherwise they will never learn it.”

  “If you hurt him, he can no longer work for Ereb,” she replies rebelliously. The overseer gives her one last dirty look before he turns back to the boy. “Do not do that again!” He hisses before he goes back to his post.

  Slowly everything resumes its usual course. Nea looks at Hope and Faith and they give her a timid smile. Although Nea is not a member of Carris, they seem to be good people and are happy she stood up for the little one. Nea remembers that they said that the slaves would not be beaten. Maybe they are shocked by the brutality of the overseer. Although the two have been members of Carris for so long, there is probably a lot of which they know nothing and might not even want to know. A tiny spark of hope germinates in Nea that maybe she could persuade these two to leave Carris behind, because they are neither mad or bad people, nor are they stupid.

  When she set off on her journey, she wanted to have no one around her, to handle everything alone. And now less than a week after the first betrayal, she already craves to be part of a permanent society. Whether Nea likes it or not, she must understand that she is not as strong as she thought. Miro always said she was a contradiction in terms. Of course she has loudly denied this every time, but still his words echo through her head over and over again. She would give anything to hear him say it again, and this time she would even agree with him, which he would probably find disappointing.

  Seven

  The strawberries are sweet as sugar. The twins begged a half bucket of them from the guards. Thus, the three girls now sit under a tree in a meadow with fragrant white flowers, eating their strawberries.

  Actually, they should be upset now that they know the strawberries were sown and harvested by slave labor. They were even using children as slave labor. While they have not talked about it, they have also hardly spoken. Even so, it would not be a lie to say the strawberries were delicious.

  Nea knows that is one of the many topics she should discuss with Faith and Hope, make them rethink their lives with Carris. She wants them to decide whether or not they should remain in Carris.

  “Did you know that they punish offenses with blows?” Nea asks Hope as she puts the last blood red strawberry in her mouth.

  “Well, if one does not adhere to the rules, there must be punishment...” she replies while chewing.

  “But he was just a child!”

  “Certainly that type of punishment is not used everywhere. That overseer was just very brutal, that was certainly an exception,” Faith comes to her aid.

  Again, the two talk about how that was an exception and Nea is powerless to change their opinion. But Nea also knows these two have seen too little of real life, and so they react naively.

  They rest during their short break under the tree and emerge from the shadows into the bright sun. Their robes retain heat from the sun. It is clear that spring is moving in, though it is rarely this warm.

  Their journey continues through the flowery meadow, so the twins pick flowers as they walk along and create floral wreaths that they set upon their habit-covered heads, almost like a crown of flowers. Sometimes, the two behave really silly and childish, though they must be a few years older than Nea. In fact, they must have been teenagers when the disease erupted. Nea was only twelve years old, in the early stages of puberty. The disease could have hardly chosen a worst time to erupt. Not only was her body changing and she no longer knew which way was up or down, but the whole world changed around her. Sometimes she thought that everything was not so bad, and then the next she would be sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest sitting in a corner and crying like a baby. After the death of her parents, Miro had been helpless to sway her constant mood swings. Nevertheless, he was always patient and never made fun of her when she was in the midst of a violently bad episode.

  “Do you know exactly where we need to go?” Nea asks sometime after they followed a straight path for what seemed like an eternity.

  “Yes, Urelitas gave us a plan, if we keep to the plan, then all will be well.”

  “May I see the plan?”

  Faith reaches into the pocket of her habit and hands Nea a folded paper. When she opens it, Nea sees that their journey is divided into a three days’ march,
and each night they will rest in a Carris village. The paths they are to follow are described in detail. Today’s path states they should follow the path of Shepherd’s Field until they arrive at a lake. They are to cross the lake by boat, then there is a two hour walk through a forest. According to the plan, they should reach the next village by dusk.

  Nea hands the plan back to Faith.

  “It’s certainly not far off,” Hope tries to cheer her up as she looks into her desperate face. But she is not distressed because she is tired or exhausted, but because she only has three days to convince the two of them to follow her or run away without them. For it would be impossible for her to go to Fortania and see Ereb. He would know immediately that no patrol was ambushed in the south and all her lies would collapse like a house of cards.

  Hope is right and soon they find themselves on the rocky shores of a jade green lake. On a dock, the trio sees a single boat. When they approach it, they see that the rudder is damaged and there is a hole in the side of the boat and it is partially submerged. They realize at first glance that this boat is unusable.

  They look at each other interrogatively to see if the other two have an option for crossing the lake. Far and wide, neither a bridge, nor another boat can be seen. They could swim to the other side, the shore is not too far away and should not take more than an hour for a skilled swimmer to cross it, however, all of their gear would then be wet. But when Nea looks at the perplexed faces of the twins, she knows that they have not thought of this possibility.

  “What do you think about swimming?” Nea asks.

  “We cannot swim,” they both reply in unison.

  “We could repair the boat,” Hope suggests instead.

  Around the lake is a forest, so they would be able to find enough wood, however it would not be suitable to cover a hole in the boat with, and they do not have the right tools to cut the wood in a fashion that would fit the boat.

  In desperation, the girls look on.

  The lake is so large, that if they look left or right, they cannot see the edges. Only the shore directly ahead is in sight. This would actually be the perfect time for Nea to leave the sisters. She could suggest that they give her the directions and then she would swim away alone. But Nea is not ready to bid them an early farewell. They’ve just gotten to know each other and she is tired of her loneliness. While Luica, Harold, and Zippi were never serious about how much they liked her, she felt comfortable in their company and so too with Faith and Hope.

  When you live alone forever, you do not know what you’re missing when you do not have company. But once you experience the security of a community, you miss it. In addition, Nea continues to hope that she can persuade the twins to come with her to Promise, or at least leave the Carris to live a life of freedom.

  “We probably have no choice but to walk around the lake,” Nea says out loud. With a sad nod, Faith and Hope follow her into the forest.

  “Actually, we wanted to learn to swim since we were small, but never dared. And now that we are older, it’s too embarrassing,” Faith said apologetically.

  “It’s not so bad; there are also many things I cannot do.”

  “Maybe you could teach us sometime, yes? That would be fun, as long as no one is looking, we can make fools of ourselves,” Hope suggests before grinning. The thought brings a smile to Nea’s face.

  While there is still sunshine on the grasslands, it is already slightly gloomy in the forest through the closely spaced fir trees. The soil is rocky and the spicy scent of pine needles fills the air. A few birds can be heard here and there. They keep as close as possible to the lake shore, partly because there is at least a little light and so they will not get lost.

  Depending on how big the lake is, this detour could delay them by days. Hope and Faith have become still and look around the forest anxiously. While Nea trotted alongside them, but now in the forest, they are huddled close together. With every rustle and crackle, they flinch with wide open eyes full of fright. It seems to Nea that they have never been in a forest before.

  “Nea, it will be dark soon,” Hope says in a shaky voice, as if Nea could not see for herself. In fact, it is now difficult to even see the roots on the forest floor. Surely it would be better to soon find a place for the night and to light a fire. At one point, Nea stops at a place where a few stones cover the ground and puts her backpack down. Aghast, the sisters look at her.

  “What are you doing? Should we spend the night here?”

  “Where else?” Nea replies, irritated.

  They do not have any answers and look at her almost pleadingly.

  “I can make a fire, so it will not be so dark, or cold for that matter,” she tried to calm them both. That’s the advantage of being a member of Carris; one need not worry about drawing attention to their self in their own territory.

  “This is something you can do?” Faith asks with wide eyes.

  Yeah, you two go find us some wood. In the meantime, I’ll find us a few fish. If we’re lucky, the dog will catch us a rabbit or weasel. He is an excellent hunter.”

  Their eyes get bigger and the look to Nea and the dog in amazement.

  “You two are really incredible. You can swim, make a fire, catch fish, and have a dog that shares his food with you. There is no way that Ereb would send you back to us to tend goats and sheep. That would be a waste of potential. You should join his battle group and conquer new territory,” Hope says in admiration, while Faith nods in agreement.

  Quite embarrassed, Nea looks to the ground. They take these skills for granted. Without them Nea would not have survived.

  “You’re exaggerating grossly, now can you find us some firewood?” Nea says and turns to the lake.

  The twins giggle and run away. They are only a few feet away and Nea can hear them sing an old folk song, most likely to drive away their anxiety. With the noise, it will be difficult for the dog to find his prey. Nevertheless, it helps them to sing.

  Nea is happy that she finally has a reason to drop the terrible habit. Even at night the Carris do not surrender them, so she does not even know what the twins’ hair color is. A cool wind blows over Nea’s bare arms and with it the smell of the lake. She smells seaweed and fish.

  It’s relaxing to dip her sore feet in the cool water. Nea is in her element now and rolls up her pants to the knee and wades through the water. The fish here are apparently not used to people and are not aware of the danger posed by them. Curiously they swim around Nea, so it is easy for her to catch one after the other and hurl them ashore. She does not even notice that she can no longer hear the sisters. Just when she is just about to grab the fourth fish, Hope runs excitedly up and scares the fish away.

  “You’ll never believe what we’ve found,” she says, ecstatic with a broad grin on her face. Her sister and the dog are nowhere to be seen. Nea leaves the water and notices Hope staring at her, probably because she removed the habit. People without them must be an unfamiliar sight.

  “I did not want the habit to get wet while fishing, so I removed it,” Nea declared immediately.

  “We remove ours for washing and then it’s right back with a clean one. It’s been years since I’ve run through the area in normal clothes,” she says enviously.

  “Take it off if you want to, just don’t get caught without it,” she suggests and Nea is glad to have found another point that could get them to follow her.

  “I do not know...” Hope said doubtfully. Nea can understand that it is difficult to change something that you have been accustomed to for years.

  “When we joined the Carris, the habit was one of the main reasons we did not hesitate,” she admits with a smile, and then remembers that she came out to the lake to tell Nea something. “We do not have to sleep out here, Faith and I have found a cave not far from here. Is that not cool?”

  Nea quickly puts her boots back on to follow her. She does not know whether to find this cool or not, because sometimes caves are inhabited by animals that do not like
guests, but she reserves telling her this immediately so as not to disappoint the girls so soon.

  After a few meters, she can hear the growling and barking of her dog. Nea knows that the dog would not growl if it did not have a reason to. Hope and Nea accelerate their steps as they hear another deep growl that clearly did not come from the dog.

  Worried, Nea runs. Hope has a problem following due to her habit. The cave is in a large rock wall. Just in front of the wall, the dog stands with fur bristling and growling with teeth bared at something that still cannot be seen. Nea does not see Faith at all. A low hum and roar emanates from the inside of the cave. Soon the massive figure of an adult brown bear emerges from the cave entrance. Its eyes sparkle threateningly. A faint, “Nea, help me!” can be heard. Nea looks behind the bear and sees Faith trembling, cowering behind the bear.

  As Hope arrives by her side, she raises her frightened hands to her mouth, “Oh no, Faith...” She screams, her voice breaking. Immediately tears rise to her eyes. “We must do something!” She cries and shakes Nea’s arm, as if that could change anything about the situation. “He will eat them.”

  The bear cries quite aggressively and turns toward Faith. She screams and howls fearfully, just like her sister next to Nea. Hope is right, she must do something. But their whining and crying only makes the bear more aggressive. If she does not do something soon, the bear will sink its huge teeth into Faith’s body. While the dog is brave beyond measure, it is much too small to take on a bear. One bite from the bear and the dog would be just as dead as Faith. Nea looks desperately around, but sees nothing but trees around them.

  “Stop screaming,” she says to Hope, stressed, trying to keep a cool head.

  Hope looks at her with an injured look, tears overflowing from her tear ducts. Her lips tremble. Even if the dog continues to bark loudly and growl, he will not force the bear to flee. She knows the dog would not stand a chance.