Promise: The Scarred Girl

by Maya Shepherd

  Nea rushes toward them. “What happened?”

  “I fell,” Kasia cries and points to her foot that already looks swollen. “But I found this,” she adds proudly, holding up a singed bag.

  “What is it?” Nea asks and takes the bag. Arras sets Kasia on the ground and removes her slippers to examine her foot.

  Nea looks inside the bag. It is filled with three baby bottles and some cloth diapers.

  “When I first left the village, one of the girls was pregnant. I knew something must have remained!” Kasia says triumphantly. Although she must still be in pain, she smiles blissfully.

  Nea turns to Arras. A serious expression lies on his face.

  “The bone is not broken, she most likely sprained it. She was lucky.”

  “Lucky?” Nea repeats incredulously. “But now the fool is even slower than before!”

  Arras gives her an angry look that makes her fall silent immediately. “Your blind rage does not help anyone!”

  Nea turns away from him and Kasia. Why does Arras seem to care about Kasia as he does? Why does he try to protect her?

  From his backpack, Arras pulls out a pair of boots and puts them on Kasia’s feet.

  “They’re too big,” Kasia laments instead of saying ‘thank you.’ Before Nea can complain again, Arras looks her way and she stops.

  “At least they have a sole,” Arras replies and helps Kasia to her feet. “Hold onto me.”

  He puts his arm around her and she clings to his upper arm. Kasia is short compared to Arras; she is chest-height to him. Arras is larger and wider than most men Nea has seen. He is strong; otherwise he would not have survived alone for as long as he has. While Nea feels safe around him, she does not trust him. Kasia, however, seems to adore him judging from the disarming smile she throws at him.

  “We should travel for a few more miles before we rest again,” he suggests. Nea does not know whether that statement is for himself, Kasia, or herself.

  Resentfully, she follows Arras and Kasia. Although they are now on the way to Fortania, it will take forever for them to arrive. Hopefully Kasia’s child will wait to be born in Fortania. Nea cannot stand children and has no clue as to how to deal with a birth. She cannot help Kasia in that regard. She sends a silent prayer that it will not come to that.

  In the late afternoon, Arras finally stops and lets go of Kasia’s arm, who then falls exhausted on the ground next to a tree. He stretches and presses his hands against his back. Nea had been wondering how long he could carry Kasia. Although she cannot weigh much, it certainly could not have been easy, especially with the child in her belly. Ever since they left the village, they had not stopped once. Nea herself was close to ask for a break, but her pride had forbidden her from doing so. Even though she is still weak, she is stronger than she thinks she is.

  “What is it? Why are we stopping?”

  “We’ve walked enough for today,” Arras replies and starts collecting sticks.

  Nea barely feels her feet, while her injured shoulder throbs incessantly. “It’s still light, we can continue for at least two more hours.” She says. She knows her behavior is childish, but for whatever reason, she has to show Arras how strong she is, that he should not underestimate her just because she’s injured.

  Arras does not respond. He acts like he did not notice her demand.

  “Can you give me something to drink?” Kasia asks Nea. She tosses her the half empty water bottle.

  “What are you doing?” She asks Arras, hardly concealing her anger. She hates that he does not involve them in his plans. He takes care of everything himself, rather than asking for help. Mostly it bothers her that she is treated like Kasia, completely useless.

  “You can see for yourself,” he growls, annoyed and continues to collect sticks. He does not seem to be gathering them for a campfire, because the sticks he is grabbing are too long and flexible.

  “No, I cannot see!” Nea shouts.

  Arras sighs; it sounds more like a growl. “I’m building us a roof for the night.”

  “Us? You mean for Kasia,” Nea hisses.

  Her behavior has finally riled even the quiet Arras. He drops the sticks and looks at Nea, full of hostility. “Just leave me alone!”

  She bites her lip and feels her heart pounding anxiously against her chest. She does not dare to say another word.

  Instead, she starts collecting wood for a campfire. Alone, she would not be brave enough to have a fire, but even though she is afraid of Arras, she feels safe with him.

  When she is finished with the fire, she lays out her traps, hoping to catch something to eat. Her stomach has been growling since the previous night. Then she sits down exhausted.

  Although Arras reacted angrily to her accusation, Kasia sits alone under the roof he made of branches and leaves. Although there is still enough room for them, neither Arras nor Nea attempt to sit down beside her.

  Nea notices that even today Arras sits far away from the fire, almost as though he shuns the light. Though Nea and Kasia can see his face, he does not need to hide any longer. Suddenly Nea realizes her behavior has been silly and is sorry. Arras helps them. It’s not just Kasia who is dependent on his help, but Nea as well. With her injuries, she would be easy prey without Arras’ protection. But instead of showing how grateful she is to him, she only complains about Kasia.

  She is too proud to apologize to him, but with an unnatural soft voice, she says, “Good night, Arras.”

  She wraps herself quickly in her sleeping bag and turns her back to him. She almost believes she can feel his eyes upon her back, but quickly rejects the idea, he probably did not respond. He has nothing to do with Nea or Kasia, so why does he help them? Nea is only there to deliver Kasia, but what keeps Arras with them?

  Twelve

  The incessant rustling is the first thing Nea hears when she wakes. Her traps! Immediately she is wide awake and pulls herself from her sleeping bag. Arras also opens his eyes, but Nea ignores him. She sneaks to the closest trap to their camp and suppresses a cry of joy. A raccoon got caught in her trap and is now thrashing wildly for its life. In its thrashing, it has only entangled itself further in the trap.

  Nea takes a deep breath before ending the animal’s suffering with one quick movement. Then she releases the lifeless body from the trap and grabs it by the fur. Now it is routine, but in the beginning she would cry whenever she had to kill an animal, and in this the animal’s suffering would be unnecessarily prolonged. So now she does it quick and painless.

  When she returns with the animal, she is surprised to find that Arras has already made a fire. When she stands before him, she lifts the animal with a wry grin upon her face.

  Arras looks up at her. She believes she sees his mouth begin to twitch, but a smile never appears. “If you want, I can cook it for you,” he replies simply. Nea is immediately disappointed in his words. She had somehow expected praise, that this is something special, and that this is clear proof she is not as useless as Kasia.

  Kasia, still sitting under the makeshift roof says, “But what am I going to eat? I’m hungry too.”

  Arras stares aghast at Nea. Apparently he thinks Nea is not willing to share with Kasia. He must not understand. She raises her hands defensively. “I cannot help that Kasia is a vegetarian.”

  She holds her hand out to Kasia to help her up. “Come on, we can search for berries while I check the remaining traps.”

  Although Kasia sighs, she accepts the offer. Together they head out and let Arras tend to the fire.

  The other traps are empty, and in one case, broken. An animal must have been able to free itself from the trap. Nea tries to mend it, but makes little progress as there are too many holes in it.

  Kasia’s search is fruitless. The only berries they could find are toxic rowan berries. When they arrive back at camp, Arras pulls a stick of cooked raccoon meat out of the fire and hands it to Nea.

  He really thought she would not share the meat with him. She owes him too much,
so she pulls her dagger out of her waist sheath and carefully cuts the meat into two equal pieces. She hands one of the halves to Arras. “I’m not a monster,” she says emphasizing she knows that is exactly what he thinks of her.

  He stares in disbelief, but hesitantly takes the meat. “It has been too long since someone last shared something with me,” he says reverently and gratefully looks into Nea’s eyes. She noticed how dark his eyes are. Most often, she could only look into his face, only so much that you could tell his skin and eyes were dark. But now that the sun’s rays shone directly into his face, his eyes are still a deep brown, almost black color. Around his irises are reddish sparks, almost like a fire.

  Arras abruptly turns away. It is difficult for him to look another person in the face any longer than necessary. He prefers to avoid eye contact completely. He sits down and devours greedily upon the meat. It reminds Nea, painfully, of the dog. Is it doing well? Nea is sure the twins will protect it.

  After dinner, they carefully put out the fire and break camp again. Nea’s leg is now much better, so she gives the campaign staff to Kasia for support. She admired the fine bear decoration on the handle and in amazement asks, “Did you do that?”

  “No, it was a gift,” Nea replies.

  “Who gave it to you?” Kasia asks, curiously. Nea has never known anyone who was as pushy as this girl.

  So she again tells the story of the bear attack and how a Carris member gave her the campaign staff. All the while she is telling the story, Arras’ back is to them. Either he does not listen as he is not interested, or he does not believe her. But as usual, Kasia is impressed and says, “You really are incredible.”

  Nea smiles, her cheeks a slightly pink color. At moments such as this, she hates to admit that even Kasia has some endearing qualities. She can be nice when she wants to be.

  After a few minutes, Nea regrets her thoughts as Kasia begins panting and wiping sweat off her forehead. It is still cold, but the march is difficult with her big belly. “Can we take a break?”

  “We are only traveling an hour,” Nea exclaims accusatorily.

  “Unlike you, I have not eaten,” Kasia says, offended.

  Arras stops and tosses Kasia his water bottle; it contains a small amount of water. “Sit down,” he asks her.

  Kasia smiles triumphantly and sits down, satisfied. She drinks the bottle empty. Granted, it was no more than a sip, but it was better than nothing. Nea is angry again at Kasia’s audacity, but denies herself any further comment. Instead, she pulls the old map out of her backpack. Due to her earlier dip in a river, it can barely be read. She runs a finger over the spot where the mountains are located and then runs it further in the direction of Fortania. She has no idea where they are.

  “Do either of you know where we are?”

  Kasia looks apologetically at her. She doesn’t know.

  But Arras replies without looking at her. “In three hours we will reach a small village. There is also a lake where we can fill our bottles again.”

  “Do you know this area?” Nea asks further and desperately seeks his eye contact. It’s hard for her to talk to someone if they refuse to look at her.

  “I grew up in Fortania.”

  Nea had not expected this. Was he one of the Carris? Again, Nea must think of the twins and their description of the big city. They came from a suburb and are at least three years younger than Arras. It is unlikely he knows them.

  “How long until we reach Fortania?”

  Arras hesitates and looks at Kasia; apparently he has no problems with her eye contact. His behavior annoys Nea. He treats her like a leper. “Most likely three days,” he says appreciatively.

  Without Kasia, Nea cannot buy her route to Promise. For better or worse, she will have to be patient.

  “How is it in Fortania?” Nea asks further, to bridge the silence, but also out of curiosity.

  “Beautiful,” Kasia exclaims immediately. “There are countless old buildings and narrow streets. A little river runs through the city and there are many parks. It is breathtaking.”

  Nea is not surprised that she would describe Fortania as beautiful. After all, she was under the protection of Ereb and could therefore move safely throughout the city. But people who do not belong to the Carris probably live in fear. It must be hard to survive in a Carris area. She looks at Arras and cannot imagine that he might be a Carris member himself. Why did he leave the city in the first place? “How long has it been since you left Fortania, Arras?” She asks, directly to Arras. By using his name, he cannot aim his reply toward Kasia.

  Nea has the feeling of seeing him freeze for a brief moment. “About three years. It is not a nice place. The Carris have only been there for three years.” So he has never been one of them, something else Nea wondered. Arras hesitates for a moment before he adds, “Just like Promise.”

  Immediately he has Nea’s undivided attention. “You’ve been there?”

  Arras pulls his backpack on his shoulders. “Let’s move on.”

  He walks off, without waiting for Kasia and Nea. But he cannot easily ignore Nea. She runs after him and gets in his way. “What do you know about Promise?”

  “It’s nothing special. It’s as dangerous as any other city.”

  “What about the electricity?”

  “What about it?” Arras replies and pushes past her. Although he is being evasive, Nea has no doubts that Arras would be able to enter Promise. He’s big and strong. He could go anywhere.

  Without paying attention to Kasia, she follows him. Arras suddenly runs much faster than he has over the last two days. It seems as if Nea’s questions have him on the run. “Is there running water?”

  “There is even hot water,” Arras growls angrily. His voice sounds threatening, but that does not stop Nea from asking further.

  “What about food? Are the people who distribute it fair? Is there a government?”

  “Can we please change the subject?” He growls, annoyed. His hands are clenched into fists and that should be the sign to Nea to keep her mouth shut. But she is too fascinated to curb her curiosity.

  “Do you think I would be able to get in? Would they accept me?”

  Arras’ fist thunders into a tree to his right. Nea, to his left, is so terrified that she cries out. She stares at Arras with wide eyes full of fear. He returns her gaze and looks into her eyes with wrath blazing in his irises. “Leave me alone,” he hisses, emphasizing each syllable. “Got it?” He continues on. Nea nods quickly.

  Arras storms past her and Nea now dares to exhale. She has not noticed she had been holding her breath. Kasia comes to her. “What was that about?”

  Nea shakes her head, “I don’t want to know.”

  After another hour, Kasia starts panting again. “I cannot go on,” she exclaims, breathing heavily. Nea suppresses any comment and rolls her eyes before she turns to Kasia. “Then rest for five minutes.”

  Kasia immediately sinks to the ground. Her chest rises and falls as if she had run a marathon herself. He face is wet with sweat and is flushed.

  Arras walks over to them. It’s a miracle he knew they had stopped walking.

  “I fear five minutes will not help her,” he says resignedly.

  “What do you mean?” Nea asks.

  “What month are you?” Arras asks Kasia, ignoring Nea’s question completely.

  “The ninth?” Kasia replies hesitantly and unconsciously lays her hand on her round belly.

  Arras shakes his head. “We cannot go on.”

  “Of course we can! She just needs a brief pause,” Nea protests immediately, but she already suspects what Arras is getting at.

  “No,” he says seriously and permanently. “It’s all this rushing through the forest... she will have the baby here. We need a safe haven until the child comes.” His words are accusatory.

  For three days, suddenly at least two weeks, Nea sees herself stuck with the two of them in a small hut. A nightmare!

  “Kasia, tell him that
you can go on!” Nea asks the pregnant girl. Her voice is clear that she will not tolerate contradiction. However, Kasia has never been one to impress.

  "For me and the child, it would be safer if we stayed somewhere. Once the child is safely in the world, we can head to Fortania. I will be back stronger and can fight better.”

  Nea would have loved to have burst out laughing. Kasia fight? This is an impossibility! Before Kasia learns to fight, the moon would break into a thousand pieces, with or without a baby bump!

  “Two weeks,” Nea hisses and eventually admits defeat. She would leave them behind, but she does not know the way. Let Arras take care of Kasia, he seems to care so much about her well-being.

  After two more hours, they finally reach their temporary target and enter the village. The town’s welcome sign states its name is the “Old lane by the sea.” Nea quickly realizes what the name’s creator had to have been thinking. The village could hardly be described as a village. It’s more of a single road which is lined with ten houses. Each house is painted red with white shutters. However, many of the roofs have holes in them. It seems hardly anyone has been here since the outbreak of the disease.

  “Which house will we take?” Kasia asks. It seems she likes it here, as opposed to Nea, she is almost happy.

  “Pick one out,” Arras replies, disinterested.

  Nea would check the conditions of the houses first before choosing the best one, but Kasia just picks the one in the middle. “I want this one! I like the porch swing in the front yard.

  Great choice! Nea squints, scowling up at the roof. At least it has no visible holes.

  “Wait here,” Arras says before he ascends the steps of the porch. He pulls his knife out before he disappears behind the front door. The door itself had broken long before. Nea does not like it, having to wait with the pregnant Kasia. Nea thinks she should just leave right now. He always treated her condescendingly.

  After a short time, he comes back from the house. He seems satisfied. “All right.”