Hopelessly Broken (A New Adult romance)

by Ward, Tamryn

  Soon. It had to be soon. Her life was too dark, too bleak to hold on for very long.

  Living in her fantasy worlds, her stories, wasn’t enough anymore.

  She pulled on some yoga pants and a t-shirt and opened the door. Logan was in the hallway, dressed in his new school clothes, tags dangling from his sweatshirt sleeve and pants waistband. She ripped them off as she trudged downstairs to the kitchen to get his breakfast.

  Logan was very quiet as he stirred his favorite cereal, eyes watchful, mouth empty. He wasn’t eating, just swirling the little toasted squares round and round. When Aeron joined them, grabbing a bowl and spoon and sitting next to Logan, Logan asked, “Aeron, are you really leaving today?”

  “Yes. I am,” Aeron answered.

  Logan stared at his cereal.

  Jenn’s insides coiled into knots. Her heart started pounding with fury, hate spiking through her, piercing her insides. She despised Aeron’s boss for doing this to them. Couldn’t he see how cruel it was to make a person move every fucking twenty-eight days? She’d like to see him live like that! “He’s coming back, Logan.”

  Logan’s gaze jumped to hers. “He is? He’s coming back? When?”

  Aeron stuttered, “I can’t say—”

  “As soon as possible,” Jenn interrupted. Somehow she was going to make sure he came back. Either that or she would hunt him down and visit him on weekends, during school vacations, whenever she could. This was not the end of things. It couldn’t be. She gave Aeron a don’t-say-another-word look which he acknowledged with a little shrug.

  Jenn motioned to the clock. “We’d better get going or you’ll be late for school.”

  “Can’t I stay home, Jenny? Just one more day? So I can say goodbye to Aeron?”

  Jenn was tempted, but at the same time she was afraid to let Logan miss more school. If he did, that might reflect poorly on her and cause her to lose him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Logan. You’ve missed enough school already. I’m still waiting for the judge to decide custody. I would hate to lose you because you had too many absences.”

  “Oh.” Logan’s whole body wilted. “I suppose you’re right. Okay.” Moving like he was at least eighty years old, he pushed out of his chair and rambled toward the front entry, head hanging low.

  Jenn gave Aeron a weak smile. “I meant what I said. Somehow, I’ll find a way to see you again. That is, if you want me to.”

  “There’s no question I do.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her so thoroughly she forgot what day it was for a moment. But the minute the kiss was over, she remembered again.

  “I’m ready to go,” Logan shouted from the foyer.

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Jenn said, forcing herself to step out of Aeron’s strong, comforting embrace.

  “I’ll go with you.” He followed her out to the foyer. They dressed in their winter gear—hats, coats, boots, gloves. Logan took Aeron’s hand as they stepped outside into the blustery, snowy morning.

  The wind was like blades of ice, cutting through Jenn’s winter coat as if it was made of paper. Sharp, breath-stealing gusts blew snow into her face and ruffled Logan’s shaggy hair, flipping it over his face. Turning at the sidewalk, and following the boys, she hugged herself against the chill and tipped her head down. As she listened to Logan’s nonstop jabbering, she blinked against the onslaught of wind and snow, staring down at the crusty snow-covered sidewalk. What a crappy day. Everything about it was crappy, even the weather. How she wished she could have frozen time.

  How she wished today had never come.

  At the intersection, she heard a voice, a boy’s. It wasn’t Logan’s. Taunting. Cruel. He was calling someone names. The sound was coming from the opposite direction. Ready to give the bully a glare, she swiveled around. But before she even blinked in his direction, a sound caught her attention. Coming from the street. The swoosh of something big sliding.

  She whirled back around.

  Car. Gliding on the ice.

  Big car.

  And in its direct path—Logan.

  Logan.

  His hair was in his face.

  He didn’t see.

  Her heart stopped.

  Twenty-three

  It all happened in slow motion. Like a video playing at one-tenth speed. She was standing on the sidewalk, maybe thirty feet behind Logan. Logan was racing crossing the street, bouncing like he always did, paying no attention to the car. Aeron was chasing him, slipping and sliding on the ice. He fell on his ass and scrambled up again.

  He wasn’t going to make it in time. He wasn’t going to reach Logan.

  It was a dark car. Black. A sedan. Completely unremarkable except for the fact that it was sliding straight toward Logan.

  She was watching it all happen in slow motion, but she couldn’t seem to do anything to stop it. She opened her mouth to scream a warning, but no sound came out. Her brain told her to run, fast, but her feet wouldn’t move. In horror, she watched precious seconds pass, lost forever. Logan peered back over his shoulder at her and smiled. She tried to warn him, but no words came out.

  Then Aeron shouted, somehow, by some miracle, reaching him. He shoved Logan out of the way and looked at her. His gaze locked on hers just as the car slammed into him. She saw nothing but peace in his eyes. Peace. Even though he had to know he might die.

  That moment seemed to hang there between them for a lifetime. Then time started racing. His body rolled up on the car’s hood, flipped over and slammed to the ground lifeless not far from Logan’s squirming form.

  Logan screamed.

  So did Jenn. She dashed to his side, terrified he was dead already, that she wouldn’t have the chance to tell him everything she had been feeling.

  As the car careened down the street, she dropped to her knees beside him and reached for him. He was on his back, arms and legs cocked at angles they shouldn’t be. His eyes were open, and he was breathing, but he was pale. He looked delicate and broken. Beautifully, hopelessly broken. “Aeron,” she said on a whisper, unsure whether he could hear her.

  “It’s okay,” he said, his voice low and husky. “It was Logan or me. I’m glad it was me.”

  “Thank you for saving him.” Bending down, she kissed his forehead. “That was so brave. Thank you.”

  He winced. “It wasn’t his time to go yet. It’s mine I hope he lives a lot of life.”

  This wasn’t happening. It was a nightmare. A horrific nightmare. She would wake up. Any moment now. “I’m sure he will. I’m sure he’ll remember the sacrifice you gave for him. But you’re going to be okay.” It wasn’t real, dammit. Not real.

  “You know I’m not going to be okay, Jenn.” He gasped, blinked his eyes slowly. “I’m dying. But that’s fine.” His eyelids drifted closed for a moment then fluttered open again. “I’m glad it’s me and not Logan. Or you,” he whispered. “I love him. I love you.” He shivered, gasped. The most awful gurgling sound came from his throat. “I would die a million deaths for either of you.”

  She curled her hands around his upper arms and leaned low, over him until her nose was right in front of his. He had to hear her. He had to know. “I love you so much, Aeron. More than I ever thought I could love someone. Is it a coincidence that I figured that out just before you get hit by a car? Why was I so fucking scared to admit it? Why?”

  He tried to laugh. It came out a sputter.

  “Jenny, is he going to be okay?” Logan shrieked in her ear. “Jenny!”

  Aeron whispered, “Hold my hand.”

  She slipped her hand into his. It was cool to the touch, and still. “Oh, God. Aeron.”

  “Ssssh. Don’t be sad. There’s no reason for it. I know what’s going to happen. And I’m glad. Thank you,” Aeron said. “Thank you for making life worth living for the past few weeks.”

  “Aeron!” Logan screamed.

  Jenn turned her head to try to calm her panicked brother. “He’s going to be okay. I think the car broke some of his bones
. But doctors can fix those. We need to call for help.”

  “That man over there already did.” Logan motioned to a man standing on the sidewalk on the other side of the street. The man nodded then turned and started walking in the opposite direction.

  “Good. Then they’ll be here soon. They’ll take Aeron to the hospital and fix him up and he won’t ever leave us again.”

  “Aeron.” Logan knelt on Aeron’s other side. “Does it hurt?”

  “No buddy.” Aeron, looking so white he almost didn’t look real, swallowed hard. “It doesn’t hurt at all.”

  “Are you scared?” Logan asked.

  “Of what? Of dying?”

  Logan glanced at Jenn. His eyes were full of anguish. “Are you dying, Aeron? Don’t die.”

  “I am, Logan,” Aeron said.

  “No!” Logan shrieked, shaking his head. “No!”

  “It’s okay.” Aeron shushed him. “Dying isn’t a bad thing. It’s a wonderful thing. Remember, we talked about it.”

  “But I’ll miss you. Just like I miss Mama and Daddy.”

  “I know. But you don’t have to miss me or your mom and dad. When people die, they leave a piece of themselves with everyone who loves them.” He visibly inhaled, his chest rising and falling. “Here.” Somehow he lifted one of his arms and placed his hand on Logan’s chest. His eyelids fluttered. His arm fell to the ground again, limp and heavy. “Take care of Cojack.”

  “No!” Logan screamed, grabbing Aeron’s face. “Don’t leave!”

  “I love you, buddy. And your sister. Don’t be sad. Just love each other.” He went still.

  Logan shook his head. “No! Jenny! Is he dead? Is he?”

  “No. He’s just tired.” Jenn slid her hand out of Aeron’s and wrapped her arms around her brother, trying to hold him as he writhed and cried. The sound of his grief was so sharp it tore into her soul. Tears streamed from her eyes, but she became lost in her brother’s pain. Her own dulled as she fought to pull him out from the darkness he’d plunged into.

  Firm hands took her by the shoulders and lifted her. A second man, wearing a uniform, pulled Logan away, carrying him to safety as a group of police officers and firefighters gathered around Aeron’s still, fractured frame.

  One officer walked past, looking grim. He stopped to speak with another officer, standing close enough for Jenn to hear him.

  “How’s the kid?” he asked.

  “Gone,” the other answered.

  The first cop shook his head. “Damn. What happened?”

  “You know the car we found on Edna Street, wrapped around the light pole?” The other officer jerked his head in the direction the car had sped off.

  “Yeah.”

  “It was him. The bastard walked away without a scrape. But this kid…”

  Jenn blinked.

  She inhaled.

  She exhaled.

  She pinched her leg.

  She smacked her thigh.

  She couldn’t wake up.

  It was a nightmare. It was a nightmare.

  She smacked her cheek.

  She didn’t wake up.

  It wasn’t a nightmare.

  Aeron was dead.

  Dead?

  No.

  No!

  He couldn’t be. He couldn’t die too.

  Nonono!

  Hadn’t she lost enough? Hadn’t she?

  The person who killed him was alive and well. Why?

  She let her head fall back, staring sightlessly at the gray, gloomy sky. Where was God? Where was justice?

  Unable to stop herself, Jenn let out a cry of agony. She couldn’t take it anymore. Life sucked. All she wanted was love. Why was that so hard? Was it too much to ask for? Didn’t she deserve love too? Didn’t she?

  Pushing up to stand, she took Logan’s hand in hers. “Come on, Logan. Let’s go home.”

  “But what about Aeron?”

  “He doesn’t need us anymore.” She turned back toward their house.

  Their empty house.

  “Excuse me, Miss?” A man said behind her, tapping her shoulder. She turned toward him. “When we picked up your friend to put him on the stretcher, we found this. We thought it might have belonged to him.” The police officer held out a cupped hand, the back facing up, fingers curled into a fist.

  She formed a bowl with her hands to catch whatever he was holding. A very long, very delicate gold chain slowly fell into her hands. “Thank you,” she whispered as she clasped it to her chest.

  “He’ll be at St. Joseph’s Hospital. Do you know anyone in his family? He wasn’t carrying a cell phone. We don’t know who to contact.”

  Family. She was his family. Logan was his family. But legally…? “No. I don’t.”

  “Okay. Thanks. We’ll see what we can do.” The radio clipped to his shoulder squawked, a voice rattling off a series of numbers.

  “What if nobody claims him?” she asked.

  “Claims him?”

  “Yeah. You know, for the funeral.”

  “Well, it’s a little premature for that. He’s got a heartbeat, and he’s conscious. But his injuries are pretty severe--”

  Had he just said…?

  Was…?

  It was too good to believe. Impossible.

  Hadn’t she heard the other officers say he was dead?

  Through sputtering breaths, she said, “Aeron’s…he’s alive?”

  “Yes. You didn’t know that?” the officer asked.

  “I heard…I heard another police officer say he was dead.”

  “Yeah. He was. For a few minutes. But they got him back.”

  “Oh God!” She shouted, blinking up at the sky, tears of relief flowing down her cheeks. “He’s alive.”

  “Yes, miss. He’s alive.” He set a hand on her shoulder. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m better than all right. I need to see him.” She turned to grab Logan and get home. He wasn’t where he’d been just a minute ago. “Logan?” She whirled in a three-sixty, more than once. Finally, she caught a glimpse of him, standing on the other side of the road, talking to the man who she remembered from earlier. He had been the one to call for help, she guessed. She scurried over to them to tell Logan the good news. “Logan, we have to go. Aeron’s alive. Alive! I want to get to the hospital.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Logan pointed at the man standing next to him. “Sam told me.”

  “Okay, so let’s go.” To Sam, she said, “Were you the one who called for help? Thank you. I was so panicked, I couldn’t move or think.”

  “It was no problem,” Sam said. “I’m happy for your sake that your friend is going to be okay. That was a bad accident. He was very brave, jumping in front of the car to save Logan.”

  “Yes. Very brave. We owe him our lives.” She grabbed Logan’s hand. “Okay, Logan.” She tugged.

  Logan glanced over his shoulder. “Bye, Sam. See you later. Thanks.”

  “Goodbye, Logan,” the man named Sam said.

  Scurrying toward the house at a half-fun, she looked back at Logan, who was dragging a little behind. He was holding something in his hand. Some kind of electronic device. “What’s that?”

  “Aeron’s broken phone,” Logan said. “I found it on the ground.” He shoved it into his pocket. “Don’t worry, Jenny. Aeron is going to be okay.”

  “I hope you’re right, buddy. I really do.”

  * * * * *

  Voices. He was hearing voices. Sounds. Echoes. Footsteps. He knew he had been dead—he’d passed through the veil between the worlds of the living and non-living enough times to know.

  But he wasn’t dead anymore.

  He wasn’t dead. What did that mean?

  Shit, he hurt. Everywhere. His head. His arms. His legs. He pulled in a deep breath. His chest. He heard himself cough and groan.

  Something touched his hand. Soft. Gentle.

  “Aeron? I’m here.”

  He knew that voice.

  Things hadn’t gone the way they s
hould have. He hadn’t been able to stand by and watch Logan die. He’d intended to take his place and die for him. But he hadn’t. He’d been hurt. But he was alive.

  What did it mean?

  Was Logan dead, after all? Had he failed to save him?

  His brain told his eyelids to open. Several times. Finally, he was able to get them to respond.

  It then took some serious effort to get his eyes to focus.

  “Aeron.” As if Jennifer knew he was struggling, she leaned closer. The sweet scent of her skin filled his nostrils, and he couldn’t help sucking in a deep breath. His ribcage screamed in protest, but he didn’t stop. That was the most wonderful smell in the world. He’d been so sure he would never smell it again. Or see her beautiful face. Or hear her precious voice.

  He opened his mouth to say her name, but all that came out was a dry husky moan.

  “Are you in pain?” she asked. “I’ll call the nurse.”

  He grabbed her hand, which had been resting on the mattress next to his. “No,” he muttered. He didn’t want a parade of nurses and doctors to come stampeding in just yet. He wanted to know about Logan, to find out why he’d been returned to the world of the living. Had Logan died, despite what he’d done? “Logan?”

  “He’s down in the waiting area. They wouldn’t let him come up here.”

  His heart jerked. “He’s okay? Alive?”

  “He’s fine. Especially now.”

  “I need to see him.”

  “The nurse told me he isn’t allowed--”

  “Please.” He had to find out what happened. If Logan was alive, and he was alive…whose soul took his place?

  “I’ll see what I can do,” she said, not sounding hopeful.

  “Thank you.” He placed his hands on his neck. The chain. Where was the chain? “Do you have a mirror?”

  “Sure. I have one in my purse.” She dug into her bag, paused. “Oh, and I have something else to give you. Holding some kind of make-up compact in one hand, something else in her other, she set her purse aside. “A police officer gave me this after they took you away. It was found underneath you. They thought it might be yours.” She flipped her hand over and unfurled her fingers.

  A gold chain.

  His gold chain.

  It was much smaller now, the links shrunken to at least a hundredth of their former size. But he recognized it immediately.