No Shelter Trilogy (Omnibus, Books 1-3)

by T. S. Welti

  “It doesn’t make sense anymore? Is that code for I wanted you because I couldn’t have you but now that I have you I don’t want you anymore?”

  “Nada, please don’t make this harder. You know how I feel about you.”

  “How do you feel about me? I want to hear you say it.”

  Isaac’s silence lasts an eternity. “I’ll walk you back.”

  “Don’t bother.”

  I storm off into the forest trying to will myself not to cry, but the sheer force of emotions building inside me makes my head and throat ache. I can hear snow crunching behind me and I know Isaac is trailing me. I let the tears fall freely because I know if I wipe them away Isaac will try to comfort me.

  We make it to the rocks where I murdered the raccoon. I can still glimpse a smear of blood on one of the boulders. I turn around to say good-bye to Isaac, but he’s gone.

  I get a sudden sinking feeling that Isaac was never here. Him arriving at the gift shop with Qiana and leaving was just a hallucination. I’m probably starving or near death inside the tiny cave where Mary got frostbite. Isaac is probably dead in the Salton Sea.

  Am I losing my mind?

  But that doesn’t explain the blood on the rocks. This isn’t a hallucination. Isaac is gone... again. Only this time I’m the one left behind.

  I trudge back to the gift shop in a daze. I’m not sure I understand what happened. The only thing I’m sure of is that I feel like a complete fool. I made this trip for nothing.

  Isaac’s words play over in my mind. This is a nice little fantasy… but it doesn’t make sense anymore… I’m moving on.

  If he’s moving on then so am I.

  I take a deep breath as I approach the gift shop. Daedric is standing on the steps like he’s been expecting me. The corners of his lips turn up in the tiniest of smiles.

  I walk fast and stop in front of him. “Good morning.”

  “The storm has passed,” he replies.

  I nod. “I know.”

  CHAPTER 10

  We make it to the former city of Victorville by nightfall; forty miles in one day is a record. I try to tell myself it has nothing to do with trying to outrun Isaac, but I’ve never been very good at kidding myself.

  We camp out in the deserted outskirts of the city to avoid confrontations with scavengers. The only people who inhabit the cities are the few who still believe there is anything of value left for them to save. There’s nothing left. Those who believe they can find hidden treasure are deluded and, therefore, unpredictable.

  The fact that we haven’t run into any scavengers yet is not a surprise. It’s winter. Before the storms, California was 150,000 square miles of overpopulated paradise. The new estimated area of California is half that. California once housed about 275 people per square mile. Now, you’re lucky to find a whole person anywhere—even among friends.

  Qiana and Mary still appear dazed by the news that Isaac has abandoned us, but Daedric has not been successful in keeping his opinion to himself.

  “I still can’t believe we hiked all the way out here for that little coward to ditch us,” he says, as he throws a small tumbleweed onto the fire.

  I haven’t told him about the Guardians hunting Isaac. If I speak the words aloud they will become true. It’s still possible this is a huge misunderstanding. Maybe Isaac will walk into our campsite soon carrying a bushel of firewood.

  “He’s not a coward,” I say, but I don’t elaborate.

  Mary lays her sleeping bag out while Qiana lays out my sleeping bag, which I’ve passed down to her. It’s expected that I will share Daedric’s bag. After just a few hours of sleep and forty-five miles of hiking, I’m exhausted, but the idea of lying down with Daedric makes my body tense.

  Will he smell Isaac on me?

  All day, the wind has rustled up whiffs of Isaac’s musk from the folds of my jacket. Though I’ve tried to appear unaffected, at times I find myself closing my eyes and basking in the scent.

  I slip my arms out of my jacket and set it down. I slide in next to Daedric and face away from him toward the fire.

  He leans forward and whispers in my ear. “Don’t you think it’s a little fishy how Isaac and Qiana just happened to find us in the middle of hundreds of miles of forest?”

  “I can’t believe you’d say something like that after he helped you get your sister back.”

  “Why do you keep defending him?”

  I don’t answer right away. Do I have a right to tell Daedric what Isaac told me in confidence? Will I be endangering Daedric?

  “Because Isaac isn’t the person you think he is,” I reply. “He didn’t abandon us for selfish reasons.”

  “I thought you didn’t know why he left?”

  I watch the way the tumbleweed pops and disintegrates into the fire.

  “Nada? Can you please look at me?” he says.

  I turn around and I’m taken aback by how gorgeous he is. He belongs with someone like Qiana—not someone like me with lips too full and eyes stretched too tightly. His face is inches from mine as the firelight leaps gently across his golden skin.

  “Isaac left because the Guardians are still after him and he didn’t want to put us in danger,” I whisper.

  “You mean, he didn’t want to put you in danger.”

  “What’s the difference? Can you stop calling him a coward now?”

  “If I were him I’d want you next to me where I know you’re safe,” he replies. “I wouldn’t leave you behind to fend for yourself.”

  That’s exactly why Daedric is with me now. He couldn’t let me go back for Isaac alone. But Isaac didn’t leave me alone. He left me with Daedric.

  “He left me with you. I’m not exactly fending for myself.”

  Daedric kisses my forehead. “And don’t ever forget it, kid.”

  “Kid? I don’t think you’re allowed to call someone who’s older than you a kid.”

  “Is that so?” he says, as he leans down and kisses my neck. “I wouldn’t know you were older… judging by how short you are.”

  “You really know how to compliment a girl.”

  He kisses me more intensely than ever. I can feel his hunger lighting me up from within. His hands glide over me as if it’s the first time he’s ever felt my body next to him. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. His hand slips beneath my shirt and I shudder as his fingertips move lightly across my ribs. His hand slides under my bra, but I don’t stop him.

  Goose bumps form on my arms as he kisses my ear and undoes the top button of my pants. His hand slips beneath my waistband.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers and I freeze.

  I push him off me and button up my pants as I turn toward the fire.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, and I can hear the rejection in his voice.

  “Nothing. I’m just tired,” I say.

  Tired of comparing him to Isaac.

  I expect Daedric to act distant in the morning, but he doesn’t. Another advantage he has on Isaac. He hands me my gloves and offers to be my lookout while I hunt. The battered sky rolls with thunder as I slip my gloves on. A storm is coming.

  “Good morning,” he says with a smile.

  “Maybe you guys should go ahead while I hunt,” I say. “I’ll catch up with you guys.”

  “That doesn’t sound like a good idea,” Qiana says. “That’s how people get lost.”

  The way she says this sounds so juvenile. I can’t believe she made it across the country from Washington D.C. to California with that kind of demeanor. She’s a walking target. It has to be the information the Guardians attempted to beat out of her. What if she made her way across the country by promising people information she doesn’t even have? What if she’s just a very good liar? What if she doesn’t even have amnesia?

  “I’ve never gotten lost,” I reply, which is true.

  “Yeah, you don’t know Nada,” Mary says as she heaves her backpack on. “She always knows where she is and what sh
e’s after.”

  Coming from Mary, I’m not sure if this is a compliment or an insult, but I don’t question it.

  “I’ll stay close in case you need me,” Daedric says and I’m reminded of all the times Isaac has uttered those exact words.

  When we set off on this journey, I wasn’t such a mess. Now that I know Isaac is alive somewhere out there, I can’t put him out of my mind. There’s an invisible filament joining us, but I can’t bring myself to sever it.

  What would my life be like if I had never approached Isaac at the Whitmore High School shelter? Would I even have a life to ponder? I know the answer to that question and it only makes me miss him more.

  Part of me knows Isaac left me behind for my own good, but I can’t help but wonder if he also did it for himself. Maybe he was sick of me.

  All these thoughts pass through my mind as I hunt. I return to Daedric with nothing but a twelve-inch lizard. I’m losing my grip.

  “They’re not far ahead,” he says, taking the lizard off my hands.

  We walk in silence for a while as the snow begins to fall. I tighten my hood around my face and Daedric zips up his jacket.

  “Are you sure they came this way?” I say, after an hour of hiking through the desert with no trace of Mary or Qiana.

  “They should have come this way,” he replies. “This is the same direction we traveled last time.”

  Last time. The time we left Isaac behind in the Salton Sea prison.

  I stop walking. “It’s a test.”

  “What’s a test?”

  I shake my head. “The Guardians are waiting to see if Isaac will tell someone.”

  “Tell someone what?”

  What if there are Guardians following us, too?

  “Nada!” a voice calls out.

  I turn around and I see a dark silhouette through the snow.

  Isaac stands before me with snow blanketing his shaggy brown hair and a fire blazing in his eyes.

  “I’ve been running for so long,” he says, as he tries to catch his breath.

  “Why?” I ask.

  “Keep walking,” he says, grabbing my hand to pull me forward.

  I glance back at Daedric and he appears stunned. I slip my hand out of Isaac’s and walk back to Daedric.

  I grab his hand. “Come on.”

  He yanks his hand away and walks ahead without me.

  “Hurry up,” Isaac calls to me. “We have to find shelter.”

  I race ahead to catch up with Daedric, but he won’t look at me. He knows why I was gone in the early hours of yesterday morning. He can finally smell it all over me.

  “Where are Mary and Qiana?” Isaac asks, reaching for my hand again as I catch up.

  I stuff my hands in my pockets. “They’re somewhere up ahead. They probably already found shelter.”

  “You let them separate from you?” he says, a shadow of panic in his voice.

  “I was hunting,” I reply. “I told them to go ahead and we’d catch up.”

  “Damn it!” Isaac shouts. “We have to find them.”

  He grabs my arm to pull me along as he jogs through the fresh snow. I wrench my arm free when we catch up with Daedric.

  “What’s going on?” I shout at Isaac over the wind. “I thought they were after you.”

  “They were,” he shouts back. “But now they’re after all of us.”

  Daedric stops walking and Isaac and I stop in front of him. His face warps with unimaginable disgust.

  “You dragged us all into this!” he shouts.

  “Are you kidding me?” Isaac says with a laugh. “None of this would have happened if we hadn’t volunteered to help you find your sister!”

  Daedric throws off his backpack and charges Isaac. They tumble to the ground in a testosterone-fueled explosion of fists. Snow flies everywhere making it impossible for me to find a weak spot to break them apart. In my desperation, I tear off my backpack and throw it at them. It hits Daedric’s back and gets his attention.

  “Stop it!” I shout. “You guys look stupid!”

  Isaac throws Daedric off him and sits up. The lower half of his body is completely submerged in the snow. I move to pick up my backpack, but he grabs it.

  “I’ll carry it for you,” he says, as he brushes the snow off his pants and slips his arms into the straps.

  “I don’t need you to carry it,” I say, trying to yank it off his shoulder, but he holds on tightly.

  “What a gentleman,” Daedric says.

  We continue in silence in the direction we think Mary and Qiana have traveled. I keep my hands stuffed in my pockets so Isaac doesn’t try to grab my hand again. As if he knows what I’m doing, he slips his hand underneath my hair and lightly grasps the back of my neck. I wriggle away and he rolls his eyes.

  “This is going to be a very long and cold four hundred miles,” he mutters.

  CHAPTER 11

  We make it to an old airport and take shelter in an abandoned hangar. There’s nothing to create a fire and we only have one sleeping bag since I gave mine to Qiana. Daedric lays out his bag and motions for me to get in.

  “How about you?” I say, as he rifles through his backpack for something.

  “What do you mean?” he asks incredulously. “I’m sleeping with you.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” I say. “I… I thought you… Forget it.”

  I thought he was too angry to share a sleeping bag with me.

  Isaac’s eyes drill into me as if he’s expecting me to refuse to sleep with Daedric.

  “Is it safe to sleep here?” I ask Isaac. “Do you think they’ll find us?”

  Isaac shakes his head in disbelief. He knows I’m trying to shift the focus away from the sleeping arrangements.

  I stand from the concrete floor and slip my feet back inside my boots.

  “Where are you going?” Daedric asks.

  “I’m going to look for firewood.”

  Isaac jumps up and grabs my arm. “You’re not going out there. Get in the bag.”

  “I’m not going to let you freeze to death,” I say.

  Isaac smiles. “Get in there.”

  “You think you can charm me with a smile?” I say.

  “It almost worked,” he says.

  My eyes fill with tears and I’m as surprised as Isaac.

  “Hey, I was just kidding,” he says, reaching up to wipe my face.

  I bat his hand away and pull my shirt over my face to wipe it clean. “Stop acting like you’re not going to freeze out here. It’s not funny.”

  “Take the sleeping bag,” Daedric shouts.

  “Not a chance,” Isaac shouts back. “Get in the bag, Nada. I’ll wrap myself in your jacket. You know I’ve slept in worse conditions.”

  Isaac and I slept in the bare snow under the pine tree after I made him promise to never kiss me again. As much as I hate to admit it, I miss sleeping with Isaac.

  “Did you really see my mom before she died?” I whisper the question I’ve wanted to know the answer to since I found out Isaac was the one who started the fire at Whitmore High School—the fire that killed my mother.

  Isaac’s face slackens the way mine does when I’m trying to hide my emotions. “I already told you, Nada,” he says. “Your mom didn’t want to come. She made me promise to take care of you. You were unconscious. You believe me, don’t you?”

  I want to believe him. He crouches slightly so we’re face to face, but I turn my face.

  “Nada, you know me,” Isaac says. “You know I would never lie to you about something like this. You know how I feel about you.”

  In the two and a half years I’ve known Isaac, he has never told me he loves me. Do I really need to hear the words to believe them? Is that why I’ve grown so attached to Daedric in such a short time? Is that all it takes to hook me?

  I feel cheap and confused.

  “No, Isaac,” I whisper. “I don’t know how you feel about me, and I’m tired of trying to guess.”

  Isaac si
ts with his back against the rear wall of the hangar with my jacket draped over his torso. His eyes are closed, but I can’t help staring at him wondering if he’s freezing. Of course he’s freezing.

  Daedric doesn’t even attempt to put his arms around me. I wonder if it’s colder outside or inside the sleeping bag. Finally, I unzip the bag and get out. Daedric turns away from me without bothering to ask where I’m going.

  I zip up the sleeping bag and slip on my boots before I tiptoe to Isaac. I just want to see if he’s still awake or if he’s frozen in this position then I’ll go back. I’m within a few feet of him when his eyelids open.

  He peels my jacket off and flips it around for me. I slip my arms into the jacket and sit next to him.

  “Are you okay?” I ask.

  I lean back against the wall and I’m shocked by how cold it feels against my back. Isaac opens his arms wide for me to lean on him instead. I glance at Daedric who’s still facing away from us before I lay my head on Isaac’s shoulder. Isaac rubs my arms to warm me up.

  “How are you not frozen over here?” I whisper, as my teeth begin to chatter.

  “I’m cold-blooded, remember?”

  “How could I forget.”

  He pokes me in the side and I try not to laugh.

  “You should get back in the sleeping bag,” he says, as he runs his fingers through my hair.

  My teeth stop chattering the more I relax and I wonder if hypothermia comes this quickly.

  “I’m fine right here,” I say.

  We sit like this for a few minutes before my shivering turns into mild convulsions.

  He tilts my face up. “I do love you, you know,” he says.

  I bury my head in his chest where his warmth defrosts the tip of my nose instantly… like the sun. I breathe deeply to take in his scent.

  He kisses the top of my head. “Get back over there.”

  I ruffle his hair as I stand. “Good night.”

  I take my jacket off and hand it back to him. As I walk away, his fingers brush the back of my leg and a chill passes through me. I keep walking, pretending I’m not worried about leaving him alone in the cold.

  I sleep horribly, tossing and waking every twenty minutes. Finally, I get up and Daedric groans.