Twisted Paths

by L. L. Collins

  I grin, turning my face so I can kiss his fingers. When he touches my lips with his thumb, I take it into my mouth and suck. His eyes get wide, and I feel him stirring inside me. “I love this sexy vixen Li,” he whispers. “And I love these,” he touches my one breast, bending his head so he can kiss me there, then the other. “And this,” he uses his finger to touch my still-sensitive spot, and I hiss at the touch. I reach down between us and touch him, running my fingernails gently against him.

  “Every day when I wake up,” I say, both of us stroking and caressing slowly, “I look at you and wonder if I’m still dreaming. And then you turn and look at me and give me that smile that’s always stolen my breath, and I know I’m living a dream I never thought would happen. I’m so happy, Blake. Happier than I can ever remember being in my life. Even when we were kids. You know why?”

  “Why’s that, baby,” Blake asks, smoothing my hair back. God, I love his touch. Every single way he touches me is my favorite, for so many different reasons.

  “Because I know that this time, we’re in complete control over our own happiness. Then, we were both worried about all the things we’d have to endure to be together. College, careers, being in different states. That was of course before everything else blew up. But now, we both have our heads on straight. We know what we want because we’ve lived our lives not having it, so we’re never going to let it go again.”

  “You make me the happiest man in the world, just by being here with me.” Blake kisses me, keeping his lips on mine for a long time. No tongues, no sex, just our lips pressed together, both of us thankful for all we’ve made it through to get right here, right now.

  I PULL OUT of the school parking lot, the grin that has been on my face all day still there. My face almost hurts from it, but I’m sure not going to stop being happy.

  My phone rings, and I look at the screen on my car to see who it is, figuring it’s Blake. But it’s Carter’s name on the screen. My stomach drops, and the smile erases from my face. Over the last few weeks, I’ve played phone tag with Carter several times. He’s left me messages saying he was sorry he hadn’t talked to me, that he’d been busy with getting settled in classes and always seemed to miss me. I sure remember how crazy the first month of college was, and I don’t blame him. But it has also made things easier for me to keep the truth from him, but I’m not going to be able to do that anymore.

  I know he hasn’t talked to Ronan, because that just isn’t Ronan. Plus, if he had, Carter would’ve known, because it didn’t seem like Ronan is into hiding the way he feels about our marriage. I want to be the one to tell him anyway, because who knows what Ronan will say to him.

  I press accept, taking a deep breath. I can do this. “Carter! Long time no speak, buddy! How are you?”

  “Mom! I can’t believe we finally get to talk! I’m so sorry,” his voice booms through the speakers.

  “Honey, don’t be sorry. I’m glad to hear that you’re adjusting so well and having fun. That’s all I can ask. As long as you’re studying and learning too, of course.”

  He laughs, and I close my eyes as tears threaten. How long will it take him to laugh again once he knows what’s happening? “I love college, Mom. My classes are challenging but good, and I’ve met some great friends. How are you? How’s your new school year?”

  I sigh. Here we go. “My school year has started great,” I say. “My new group of kids are sweet.”

  “They’re lucky to have you,” he says. “How’s Dad?”

  “Can you talk? Because there are some things I need to talk to you about.”

  “Of course, Mom. I’m just driving home from the grocery store. Hayden and I decided we could no longer live on Ramen noodles and Doritos.”

  I laugh, the ache in my heart physically painful from missing him so much. “Yeah, that gets old after a while. You doing okay on money?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. You and Dad gave me plenty. Now what’s up? You said you needed to talk to me? Is everything okay?”

  I sigh, pulling into Blake’s shop and turning off the engine. He sees me and waves from one of the open garages. Every single day, he’s waiting out here for me. God, I love that man. He makes me feel like the only woman on Earth. I hold up one finger and indicate that I’m talking, and he nods, blowing me a kiss and going back inside the garage.

  “I need to tell you what’s been going on,” I begin, knowing there isn’t any good way to say this. I know Mia wanted us to sit down with him, but with the holidays months away still and Ronan a workaholic, I don’t think that will be possible. I don’t hear anything on the other end of the phone. “Carter?” Just then, my Bluetooth beeps, indicating the call has ended. I furrow my brow, looking down at my phone in my lap. We must’ve lost signal. I press his name on my screen, listening to the ringing phone echoing throughout my car. It rings four times and then goes to voicemail. “Carter, it’s me. I think we lost signal. Maybe you drove into the Twilight Zone.” I laugh at my own joke. “Call me later please. It’s important.” I shove my phone into my purse, disappointed that I didn’t get to talk to him for more than a minute.

  But the second I step into the garage, Blake grabs me from behind and nuzzles my neck, and I let the disappointment go. It might be difficult for me to tell him, but he and I have always been close. He’ll be okay. Right?

  BLAKE AND I have both been lost in our own thoughts during our easy dinner of pizza and soda. We know it’s time to do our ‘homework’ and call our parents. I don’t know why either of us are worried, because both sets will probably be relieved. But I think I might be more afraid of going to see Mia tomorrow and not having done what she asked. I’m already worried to tell her that Carter and I haven’t gotten to talk or set up anything. It has been just over an hour since we lost our call, but I haven’t heard from him again.

  “Let’s do this,” I say, picking up my phone. “I’ll start with my parents. I have more to explain to them.” I make a face. “And I need to have a word or two with my father.”

  “Don’t,” Blake says, putting his hand over mine. “Let it go, Li. He did what he thought he needed to do to protect you. Leave the past in the past,” he reminds me. I nod, knowing he’s right.

  I click the contacts screen on my phone, and just as I’m about to hit my parents’ number, the screen changes with an incoming call. I don’t recognize the number, so I stare at the phone for a moment trying to decide whether to answer.

  “Who is it?” Blake asks. I shrug, hitting accept on the call anyway.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, this is Officer Sharkey with the Florida Highway Patrol. Is this Mrs. Collier?” The Highway Patrol? My stomach drops into my feet.

  “Y-yes, that’s me,” I say. “What’s this about?”

  “We’ve just recovered this phone at an accident scene and saw that you were the last call. In the contact it says ‘Mom’. Are you the mother of Carter Collier?”

  I stand, a sound that can only be described as primal escaping my mouth. Blake is instantly at my side, but all I can do is shake my head. “Mrs. Collier?”

  I swallow, trying to make my mouth work. What happened to my baby? He was in a car accident? They found the phone at the scene? Does that mean that the phone wasn’t in the car? “H-he’s my son,” I cry, hysteria making my voice go several octaves higher than usual. Blake’s eyes widen and he grips my hand.

  “He’s been airlifted to All Saints Medical Center with severe injuries. He was thrown from his car, ma’am. I’m so sorry.”

  “I-is he going to make it?” I’m terrified of the answer, but I have to know. Blake picks up his keys and wallet, ready for me to tell him where we’re going.

  “He’s in bad shape, Mrs. Collier. I can’t tell you much more. He was resuscitated at the scene and taken by helicopter about fifteen minutes ago. We were doing clean up on the scene when I found the phone across the street. It’s shattered, but I was able to see enough to find his call log. Is there anyone else I can cal
l for you?”

  “N-no. Thank you.” I fling the phone into my purse and turn to Blake. “Carter was in a bad accident. He’s not okay, Blake. He’s not okay. We have to go right now. My baby could be dying, and I’m hours away!” I turn to hurry to the garage, but that’s when everything sways. I feel Blake’s strong arms wrap around me, and I lose it. I’m screaming and crying and I feel like I’m losing my mind. Not my baby. He can’t be injured. What if he dies? What am I going to do? I can’t live without him; there’s no way I will survive it. I know I need to get up and move; lying here crying isn’t going to get me to my son.

  “Li,” Blake says into my ear. I close my eyes, my body convulsing with sobs. “Let’s go. We need to get to him. Can you stand up? I’m here, baby. I’m going to be here every second, right here next to you. We’re going to get there and he’s going to be fine. I’ll call the hospital on the way, see if they can tell us anything.” I nod, but I can’t say anything. He helps me stand and we get out to the driveway. I crumple into the seat when he releases me, my breath hitching with the sobs that are ripping from my chest. This can’t be happening.

  “What can I do, Li? Please, let me do something to help,” Blake says after a few moments. He’s been stroking my leg the whole time, trying to keep me calm. But I can’t help but think he has no idea what this feels like, and I’m glad he doesn’t. It would hurt less for someone to rip out my heart and put it in a shredder.

  I know what I have to do, but I don’t want to. “I have to call Ronan. He needs to be there.” I see Blake’s jaw set out of the corner of my eye.

  “Do you want me to call him?” I look at him, shocked that he would offer that.

  “No,” I say, reaching for my phone. “He needs to hear it from me.” My hands shaking so hard I can barely press the keys, I finally get it right and it begins ringing. I haven’t talked to him since the day he called to ask where I was, all those weeks ago. He never even knew that I had been there to pack up my stuff. It rings and rings, and I sigh. He’s probably not going to answer me.

  “Liane,” he answers, his tone clipped. “What do you need?” I bite my tongue to keep what I want to say pushed back. This isn’t the time. Carter needs us.

  “Carter’s been in an accident,” I say, wishing I could tell him without losing it again. I don’t want him to hear me cry, even if it is for our son. “The FHP just called me. They found his phone across the street from the accident. It’s not good, Ronan.”

  I hear him suck in a breath. “What does that mean, not good?” Blake is squeezing my hand so hard it’s hurting, but I get it. This is the first time I’ve talked to Ronan since Blake and I have been back together, and he’s struggling.

  “I don’t know, Ronan! He said it wasn’t good and that he was airlifted to the hospital with severe injuries! I’m on my way there, but it’ll be several hours before I arrive.”

  “I’ll be right behind you,” he says, and hangs up. I don’t get to tell him that no, he won’t, because I’m coming from a different place than him.

  The three hours it takes us to get there are the longest of my life. After calling Mia and explaining, I’d talked to Melinda, Kinsley, and my parents, who are coming from Kentucky as soon as they can get a flight. When I called the hospital, all they could tell me was that he’s in surgery and they have no further updates.

  My legs jump as we pull into the parking lot. I need to get out, and now. Blake understands and pulls up in front of the emergency department. “I’ll park and find you,” he says. I nod, jumping from the car and running through the automatic doors.

  I skid to a stop at the admissions desk. A tired looking nurse looks up at me with a raised eyebrow. “My name is Liane Collier. My son Carter was brought in a few hours ago from a car accident. I need to know where he is.”

  The sympathetic look that crosses her face almost drops me to my knees. She knows all about it. “Let me see, Mrs. Collier.” She taps a few keys on her computer, and I want to scream. The urge to run through the halls is almost overwhelming, but I know that won’t get me anywhere but in a padded room. I need to see Carter. I need to hold his hand and see that his heart is beating. I don’t care about anything else at this point.

  “If you’ll go into Waiting Room one,” she indicates right down the hall. “I’ll tell the doctor that you’re here.” She turns to walk away, but that’s not good enough for me.

  “Wait!” She turns back to me. “You can’t tell me anything?”

  There’s that look again. “I don’t know anything, ma’am. The last thing I saw was him being taken into surgery. There’s been no update since then. I’m going to page the doctor now and tell him that the family has arrived. They’ll be out to you as soon as they can.”

  “Where is he?” Blake appears next to me. I can’t believe that this is how Blake and Carter are going to meet. If Carter is able to meet him, the voice inside me makes me want to rage. No. Carter’s going to be just fine.

  “We have to wait in there,” I shriek, pointing at the room. “I can’t do this, Blake. I can’t wait. It’s been hours. She said the last update was that he was in surgery. What if he doesn’t make it? I won’t survive.” He grabs my hand and leads me to the room, where I curl up into his lap without hesitation. It doesn’t change the fact that my son is fighting for his life somewhere in this hospital, but Blake’s strong arms wrapped around me makes me hope that he’s going to be okay.

  “He’s going to be okay,” Blake murmurs into my hair. “If he’s even partially as strong as his mom, he’ll be just fine.” I close my eyes, wishing I believed that. But his mom isn’t strong, not by a long shot.

  After what seems like forever, I snap my eyes open. I fell asleep? There’s no way. Who does that? I look around, wondering what woke me up. That’s when I see him. The doctor is standing in the doorway, and Ronan is just behind him. I stand, smoothing my wrinkled clothes.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Collier?” the doctor says, stepping further into the room and looking at Blake and I. Ronan steps around the doctor.

  “I’m Mr. Collier,” he says, his eyes never leaving Blake’s. Blake is holding my hand, but the rest of his body is rigid and trained on Ronan.

  “Excuse me,” the doctor says, looking at the three of us. Ronan makes sure to keep his distance from both of us. If I wasn’t so sick with worry over my son, I would care that my soon to be ex-husband is glaring at Blake like he wants to kill him. “I’m Dr. Varella, and I’ve been treating Carter since he arrived.”

  “What happened?” I ask.

  “From what we were told from the paramedics and police, Carter was struck on the driver’s side by someone who blew through a stop sign going over sixty miles per hour. They never even hit their brakes. He was thrown from the car before the car finally stopped several hundred feet away from the impact.”

  Hearing the details feels like knives being shoved into my stomach. I can’t breathe. “Is he going to be okay?”

  “It’s touch and go,” the doctor says. “He’s lost a lot of blood. He was in shock when he arrived. We had to give him one transfusion already, and now that you all have arrived, I’d like you to donate some blood if you’re willing. He could use more to make me feel the most comfortable in aiding his healing.” I nod, not knowing which of us will be able to donate but I will for sure do anything I can to save my baby. “The biggest worry we have right now is swelling on the brain. We had to take him into surgery to relieve the pressure on the brain by drilling holes into his cranium. While we were in there, we put a pressure sensor in his head. He’s in a coma right now, and we’re planning on keeping him that way until he has some time to heal. He’s on a ventilator to help him breathe and we’re keeping his body cool so that we can allow the brain to heal. He’s got a broken arm, leg, and several ribs. He’s also got a lacerated liver, which was the source of blood loss. A different surgeon had to open him up to stabilize his liver while I was working on his brain. We’re keeping an eye on any more internal
bleeding. The next few days are crucial to see what happens. Right now he’s in ICU and his condition is critical.”

  As he lists the injuries my son received, my lungs tighten up and I gasp for breath. Blake rubs my back and puts his lips up to my ear. “Breathe, Li. He needs you. Breathe.” I nod my head, forcing air in and out of my lungs.

  “So right now I’d like to take both parents to test and see if either one of you can donate for him,” the doctor says. “My nurse will take care of it. It’s preferred to have family donate so that we don’t deplete our supply. Linda has Carter’s blood type, so she’ll know right away which parent is compatible.”

  I look over at Ronan, and he looks white as a ghost. It’s the first time I feel for him; I know he loves Carter, even if he is an asshole. His eyes meet mine, and he smiles thinly. Blake drops my hand and Ronan and I walk behind the doctor, neither of us talking. Carter is alive. I have to focus on that. He might be in critical condition, but that’s better than what my mind has conjured up over the last several hours.

  “Linda will take care of it for you,” Dr. Varella explains. “I’m very sorry. I’ll keep you as updated as I can.”

  “Can we see him?” I need to touch him, let him know I’m here.

  The doctor smiles. “Yes. Linda, can you take them up once the bloodwork is done? And page me with the results so we can get going on that.”

  “Which one wants to go first?” Linda says, snapping her gloves into place.

  “I’ll go,” I say, pulling up my sleeve. If we can do this faster to help Carter, I’m all for it. I look over at Ronan, and he still looks pale. “Are you okay?” I don’t really care, but I know Carter will. That’s his dad.