Twisted Paths

by L. L. Collins

  Linda looks over at him. “Are you squeamish with needles? Sit down, hon. We’ll get you some juice.” Ronan swings his eyes back and forth from me to her. He’s acting strange.

  “Maybe do him first,” I say quietly. “He’s not looking so good.” Her eyes meet mine and she nods, indicating for him to sit.

  He does, but he looks over at me with ice in his eyes. “Can you go out? I don’t want you in here. Go out and sit with your boyfriend.” The nurse looks back and forth between us as my face flames. I hate him. I want to scream at him and tell her all our personal business so she doesn’t think I’m the scumbag here. But instead, I pick up my purse and walk back down the hallway where Blake is waiting, forcing myself to remember why I’m here with Ronan in the first place.

  THE SECOND I see her, relief floods through my system. I hate that I had to stay here while she went to give blood. I hate even more that she had to be in a room with him. When her eyes meet mine, she cries out, and I’m glad. Not that I’m glad that she’s upset, but glad that she can be herself with me and show her pain. I know nothing at all about what she’s feeling, but I sympathize because it’s tearing her limb from limb. I know she’s barely functioning, and I pray to anyone that could be listening for her son to wake up. I’m terrified that if he doesn’t make it, she won’t survive it. If I’d been lucky enough to ever have a child, I would think it would have to be the worst pain imaginable. As it was, losing her had been excruciating and I’d barely survived it.

  She crumples into my arms, hiccupping as sobs take her over. I can’t tell her it’s okay, because I don’t know if it is, so I just hold onto her and caress her back. I do notice that Ronan didn’t follow her in here, and I’m glad. The only thing that had stopped me from putting my fist through his face was the fact that Li needs me more than I need to exercise my disgust with him. And since his son is injured, I’ll put aside my detest for now. The most important thing is, it’s Li that’s wrapped in my arms, not his.

  “Are you a match?”

  “Ronan went first,” she hiccups. “After he told me to get out.” Fire floods through my veins. So even through all of this, he’s going to be a jerk.

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know,” she cries, wiping her eyes. “I need to see my baby, Blake. He’s in bad shape. I’m so scared. I can’t lose him. I can’t. Not after everything.”

  “You won’t,” I say, even though I don’t know that’s true. I heard what the doctor said. And while I’m definitely no medical professional, it sure sounds severe.

  “Mrs. Collier.” The nurse stands in the doorway. I grit my teeth. I can’t wait for her to be rid of that name. All it does is remind me of wanting to punch Ronan.

  Li turns, gripping my hand. “Come with me?” I nod, following her out of the room. I’ll follow her anywhere.

  No one speaks as we make our back down the hallway. I don’t see Ronan, and that’s a relief. Li settles in the chair and the nurse takes her sample. I wonder what the nurse is thinking, but I don’t have time to worry about that. Ronan appears in the doorway, and I know Li sees him, but she ignores that he’s even there.

  Our eyes connect, and I try to convey to him how much hatred I have for what he did to us without saying a word. I don’t want to upset Li, and this isn’t the time for the confrontation that I know is inevitable. His eyes narrow on me, and we silently challenge each other, man to man.

  “All set,” Linda says. “It’ll be just a few moments. Whichever of you is a match, I’ll do your blood draw and send it to the lab for filtering.” She smiles. “I hope your son is okay,” she says to Li. “Dr. Varella is the best in the state. You got lucky that he was on call today.”

  Li smiles, her chin wobbling as she fights to not lose it. “Thank you,” she whispers. We walk out into the hallway, the three of us just looking at each other. She falls into the chair closest to the door, and I put my hand on her shoulder so she can feel that I’m there.

  We sit there for what seems like forever, none of us saying a word. Linda walks into the hallway, her clipboard in her hand. “Mr. Collier? Mrs. Collier? Can I see both of you?” She looks at me. “Privately?”

  Li stands, her hand in mine. “Whatever you have to say can be said in front of him,” she says. “We don’t have any secrets.” I turn my head and stare at Ronan. But he’s not looking at either of us. He’s staring down the hall to the doorway, like he wants to run. I narrow my eyes at him. He’s as pale as the walls on either side of us, and I can see sweat dotting his forehead. What the hell is this guy’s problem? He acts like he’s on something, the way he’s behaving so erratically.

  “Ronan?” When Li says his name, his head snaps back to us.

  Linda watches the three of us. We must seem like a damn circus act. “It’s okay,” I whisper to Li. “I’ll be right here.”

  “No,” she says, walking past Linda and dragging me with her. Linda follows, turning around to see if Ronan is coming. He’s still standing there, looking like he’s going to pass out.

  “Sir? Are you okay?” Linda looks around, and I wonder if she’s trying to decide if this guy is going to pass out or lose his cookies on the floor. I want to shake him. I don’t want him to be a support for Li, that’s what I’m doing here, but the least he can do is act like a concerned father.

  She clicks some buttons on her computer. “Okay,” she says. “Liane, I’m sorry. You aren’t a match for Carter.” Li swings her eyes to Ronan, knowing that means it will be him that’s going to give lifesaving blood to their son. Of course. Carter can’t even have her blood type.

  Linda looks at Ronan, then at me and Li. She opens her mouth, and then closes it. Clearing her throat, she looks back at the computer and clicks a few buttons. I can see panic starting to come over her face, and I wonder what’s happened. What did she see on that screen? Is something wrong with Carter? Are they going to come out and tell Li her son is more gravely injured than they thought? Li notices that Linda looks bothered.

  “I… I’m sorry. There’s a mistake somewhere. I need to… hold on, please.” She jumps from her chair and practically runs from the room.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Collier?” Someone we haven’t seen yet stands in the doorway now. “I’m Dr. Tavares. I worked on your son’s liver.” He steps forward and shakes all of our hands. “As far as my part went, it was successful. We’re going to keep an eye on him, but you are welcome to come see him.” All three of us step forward, and he stops. “I’m sorry. Not all at once. I can take two.”

  Li turns her eyes to me, and I know I should be the man that lets go and allows Blake’s father to go with her. But I’m struggling to make myself do that. Ronan stops and looks at both of us.

  “You go,” he says to me, and I can’t believe it. “I’ll go when you two are done. I’ll stay here and talk to Linda about the blood.” I nod, not wanting to thank the ass for doing anything nice for us. We walk silently to the elevators and then follow the doctor down a short hallway. The ICU is silent, the only sound beeping from monitors and the hushed tones of nurses and doctors. We stop at the doorway to Carter’s room, and the doctor turns back to us.

  “Just a few minutes for now,” he says. Li nods, her eyes trained on the bed through the glass door. It swishes open as we step in front of it. I only know what Carter looks like from pictures, but I know that this person lying in the bed looks nothing like him. In his photos, he’s tall and broad shouldered with blonde hair and blue eyes. He’s handsome and always has a smile on his face. But now, his head is wrapped in gauze, and he has wires protruding from everywhere. A large tube comes from his mouth and is attached to a whirring machine. His face is puffy and there are lacerations across his forehead and cheek. I would never guess this is the same person if the name on the board behind us didn’t say Collier, Carter with the name of his doctors and nurse scrawled under it.

  “Oh my god,” Li says, rushing for the bed. Her eyes are everywhere, and I wish I could take it away from her. I feel hel
pless. “Carter,” she cries out, reaching her hands out to touch him but freezing in place. I realize that she doesn’t know where to touch him, so she settles on putting her hands over one of his. “Why? Why did this have to happen to you? Oh god, please. Please help him to be okay. He’s so young. His whole life is ahead of him. Carter, I’m here. I’m not going to leave your side.” Her knees give way and I hold onto her from behind while she sobs.

  Another nurse comes in. “Mrs. Collier? I’m so sorry to disturb you. Can I talk to you for a minute?” She indicates outside of the room, so I follow Li out. The nurse, whose tag says Sydney, looks at me and then back at Li. “Can I give you medical news?” Li is wiping her eyes and trying to keep her composure. What is it that they need to tell her so badly that it can’t wait for her to spend time with her son?

  Li furrows her brow, looking at me, then back at her. “Yes. Go ahead. What’s going on?”

  “Well, the blood draws you and the father did to determine who can donate? There’s a problem with it,” she says, shifting from foot to foot. Why are all these people acting so weird? What is going on?

  “What kind of problem?”

  “Well, see, neither of you are a match to donate. Carter’s blood type is B positive. You’re A negative, and the father of record is A positive. That combination isn’t possible. If the two of you are actually his parents, he would be unable to have a B blood type at all.”

  I know I’m confused about what she’s saying, and Li isn’t in any frame of mine to wrap her head around what this means. “I’m sorry,” I say. “Can you tell me what this means? She’s upset and not able to understand what you mean.” Li looks at me and smiles wanly.

  Sydney looks at Li sadly. “Did you give birth to Carter?”

  “What? Of course I gave birth to him. What’s going on?” What is this whack job talking about?

  Realization hits me like a ton of bricks, and I begin shaking like a leaf. High school biology charts flood my brain. Li notices since my hand is in hers. “What is it, Blake? What’s wrong?”

  I feel like I’m hyperventilating. No way. It isn’t possible. “W-what blood type did you say he has?”

  “The patient?” Sydney flips the chart she’s holding. “He’s B positive. The only blood type that goes with B positive if the mom is A negative is…”

  “B or AB,” I finish for her. Li’s staring at me like I have the missing piece to some puzzle she doesn’t know she’s supposed to solve. My knees feel weak, and the room begins revolving.

  “Blake,” she says. “What’s the matter?” I can hear the pitch in her voice reaching hysterical levels, but I can’t make her feel better. My head is spinning with the possibility. “Can you help me?” She’s talking to the nurse. Everything sounds like it’s in a tunnel. Black spots appear in my eyes, and I blink, trying to fight against them. I feel arms around me and then everything goes black.

  I BLINK MY eyes open, the harsh light blinding me. Where am I? Li sobs, throwing herself onto my chest as I struggle to sit up. The nurse that had been talking to us helps me get up, as well as another guy I’ve never seen before.

  “Are you okay?” I nod, wondering what had happened. I look around, remembering we’re in the ICU to see Carter. That’s when it all floods back. I push myself to stand up, and Li holds my arm, looking at me like I’m made of glass.

  “What happened?” Li whispers. “What’s wrong, Blake? Before you went down, you were talking about blood types.”

  “Let’s go sit,” Sydney says, indicating a row of chairs outside the ICU. We follow her, and I wonder if I’m right. If I am, a catastrophic bomb was just put in both of our laps. I know Li is still looking at me like she’s afraid something bad is about to happen to me, too.

  “What were you saying, Blake? I know I should understand, but my mind is racing a million miles an hour with worry over my son. Both of you speak English. What does any of that mean?”

  “If you’re the natural mother,” Sydney begins.

  “Then Ronan isn’t the father,” I finish. Li gasps, jumping out of her seat, her hands over her mouth. She’s shaking her head, her eyes wide. Sydney stands also, looking back and forth between us like she’s trying to decide whether she stays or goes.

  “NO!” Li shouts, covering her mouth once she remembers where she is. She paces back and forth while I watch her, unable to move. Ronan isn’t Carter’s father. My brain knows exactly what this means, but my heart refuses to believe that one more thing was stolen from me.

  The elevator door dings, and out steps Ronan. His eyes meet mine and then shift over to Liane and the nurse. He must see something in all of our faces, because he steps back into the elevator and shuts the door before I can react. I shoot to my feet, running to the elevator and pounding the button. It’s gone, but that weasel isn’t getting away with this. I run for the stairwell.

  “Blake!” Li is calling out to me, but I can’t stop. Not this time. He’s crossed the final line with me. As if it isn’t enough that he’d kept us apart, but this… this isn’t going to be swept under the rug. No wonder that sick bastard looked like he saw a ghost downstairs. He knew exactly what we were going to find out. I wonder if he was down there trying to pay someone off to keep their mouth shut. I wouldn’t put it past him.

  I pound down the stairs, knowing I’m in a hospital but not caring at the moment. I have to get to him, and now. My chest heaves with exertion as I try to outwit the largest scumbag on earth. Where would he go? He certainly wouldn’t stay in the hospital. Cowards run when the going gets tough, and that means he’s probably heading for the parking lot. Never mind that the child he parented for his whole life is lying in ICU, fighting for his life.

  I burst out of the door on the first floor, looking around to get my bearings. The neon Emergency light flashes to my right, and I know that we parked out here. That would probably mean he did, too. Damn, I wish I knew what car he drove. Wait. Li had told me before. I beeline it for the parking lot, scanning my memories for what she had said. If it’s one thing I know, it’s cars. BMW, that’s it; a sleek black seven series BMW. I swing my eyes back and forth, the light of the day fading and making it more difficult to see.

  It doesn’t take me long to see the miserable piece of crap darting through cars in the parking lot. I smile, even though there’s nothing about this that’s going to be funny. He’s not getting away from me. Last time, he got away with a broken nose. This time, I’m going to show him exactly what happens to pieces of trash like him. I begin sprinting across the parking lot, scanning to see where he’s headed. I spot his car right as he spots me. He speeds up, and I almost laugh at the challenge. So he thinks he’s going to outrun me, does he? Oh, he has this pissed off man underestimated.

  I reach him seconds before he gets to his car. Without even thinking, I take my arm and clothesline him, making him fall to the ground clutching his neck. I stand over him, sweat dripping from my face and my chest heaving. But the pain I’m feeling from running across the parking lot is nothing compared to what he’s done to both of us.

  “You pathetic piece of shit,” I spit, pulling him up by his collar. “You just couldn’t stand it, could you?” He doesn’t say anything, sweat running down his face. “All these years, you were the one behind all of it. You kept us apart because you couldn’t stand her being in love with me. You had to win her, and you did. You won because she found out she was pregnant and they said it was yours. She gave you a gift, because the other things you did to try to keep us apart would’ve been found out eventually. But he isn’t your son. How long have you known, Ronan? His whole life?”

  Ronan blinks and then shoves against me trying to move. He isn’t getting away from me, even though he’s in good shape. I have a lot more to prove, starting with teaching him a lesson or two. He has a lifetime of hurt coming to him. I fight the tears that threaten behind my eyes at the thought of that child up there being mine. It hits me full force, and my knees almost buckle. Carter is my child. No
t only had Ronan stolen Li from me, but he’d stolen my son. My son that has never even met me, and now is up there fighting for his life. He raised my child and I’ve never even had the chance to know. In the back of my mind, I know I should drop Ronan and run back to my girl and my son. But I also know I can’t let him go again.

  Rage blinds me, and my fists start pummeling him before I can give it a second thought. Since I caught him off guard, he doesn’t get a chance to defend himself or try to swing on me, and I take full advantage. The cracks I hear as I hit him make me feel vindicated, and I’m no longer even thinking of him as a person. He’s the enemy that did this to us. Inflicting pain on him is the least he deserves. He falls to the ground, trying to protect his face from my assault. I know I’m screaming and cursing at him, now getting my feet involved as I kick the ever loving shit out of him. It’s almost like I’m floating above myself, watching this scene like it isn’t me doing it.

  It isn’t until I hear screeching tires and see the reflection of lights off the cars surrounding us that I stop. My fists are bruised and bloody, and I don’t know if it’s from his blood or mine. My chest heaves, and sweat pours from my face and drips into my eyes. Two policemen step out of the patrol car, and I close my eyes. Shit. I look down at Ronan. Blood covers his entire face and shirt, and he’s curled up into a ball on the ground. Regret seeps into my soul as I realize I could’ve killed him. The rage had taken over, and now I have no idea how much damage I’ve done to him.

  “Put your hands up and don’t move,” the officer says, shining a light on me. I do as he says, looking up at the floor where I know Li is with our son. I’m not going to get to go in there with them now. He steps forward quickly and yanks my arms behind my back, cuffing me within seconds. The other officer checks on Ronan as paramedics come out of the ER doors with a gurney. I watch, transfixed, as they surround and check him. He still hasn’t moved.

  “You’re under arrest for assault and battery,” the officer says. “And possible attempted murder. You have the right to remain silent…” He tucks my head as he puts me in the backseat of the police cruiser, reading me my rights. I’m not listening, because none of that matters. I need to talk to Li. She needs to know what has happened. She needs to know that I couldn’t let him get away with all of this, but I do love her. My God, I have a son. Carter is mine.