Beyond the Lens

by Hannah Ellis

  I walked out of the bedroom and straight into a cameraman. “Morning.” I got no reply so I moved around him and went for the stairs. I was thankful it wasn’t Adam. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be alone with him. Hopefully my embarrassment would be diluted in a group.

  The door to the boys’ bedroom opened and Matt walked out looking half asleep. We met at the top of the stairs and he smiled at me.

  “Morning,” he mumbled and motioned for me to go ahead of him.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked.

  “The cocktails were pretty lethal, weren’t they?”

  “The shots probably weren’t necessary either,” I said.

  “I forgot about the shots,” he groaned. “They were completely unnecessary.”

  “Shall we stop talking about alcohol?” I asked.

  “Good plan.”

  We reached the kitchen and found Maria waiting nervously at the foot of the stairs which led up to the crew’s rooms.

  “Morning!” I smiled at her. She pointed up the stairs and put a finger to her lips. In the silence I could just make out Jessica’s voice. She was shouting again. Apparently she was upset about half the cameramen being ill and missing out on a good portion of last night’s antics as a result. Again she was worrying about her job and her career. I shrugged at Matt and couldn’t even be bothered to eavesdrop. I guessed we’d all be happy that the previous night’s recordings were limited. The fact that it seemed more and more likely that whatever recordings they did have would never see the light of day was not a problem for me at all.

  “Amazing.” Matt sighed and held up a box of painkillers to me. “Found these in the fruit bowl. Someone is very thoughtful.”

  “I’ll take some of those.”

  “If I just had a full English breakfast, that would be my hangover taken care of.” He opened the fridge and peered in. Maria chatted away to him in Spanish, presumably asking what he was looking for. “Any idea how you say ‘bacon’ in Spanish?”

  “Sorry,” I said. “No idea.”

  “Pig?”

  “No,” I chuckled.

  “I could probably act that out …” He grinned at me.

  “Please, don’t. I can already envision it … Just don’t.” He ignored me and snorted like a pig. I immediately got the giggles, which seemed to spur him on, and he did it again. Poor Maria was getting more and more agitated, determined to figure out what Matt was trying to tell her.

  “It’s fine.” He waved her away. “Don’t worry about it.”

  She snorted a pig noise back at him and mimed out an eating motion.

  “Yes!” He gave her a thumbs-up. “I want to eat pig,” he mimed back. “And eggs!” he added.

  “That’s helpful,” I told him.

  “Eggs,” he repeated slowly and attempted to illustrate the point with his hands. Maria pulled out a little notepad and pencil from her apron and handed it to Matt, who proceeded to draw a plate of bacon and eggs. He then added sausages and toast for good measure. Maria peered over his shoulder and clicked her tongue while he drew. When he handed her his artwork, she raised her voice and threw her hands in the air before flinging open her door and disappearing down the cramped staircase.

  “Do you think that’s a no, then?” Matt asked.

  “I can’t believe you just did that,” I said. “Couldn’t you just have bread with cheese and ham like every other morning? Or cereal?” I looked around at the food spread out on the table. “Yoghurt? Fruit? It’s not as though there’s nothing to eat.”

  “I wanted hangover food, that’s all. I feel bad now, though.”

  I put some bread and cheese on a plate and wondered whether my stomach could even cope with that. I grabbed an apple too and a glass of orange juice. Matt loaded up his plate and we headed back through the house.

  “So, you and Adam?” Matt said, distancing himself from me as we walked, as though expecting a punch.

  “We’re not talking about that.” I took a breath. “And unless you want to talk about you and Chrissie, you’ll shut up now …”

  “Fair enough.” He grinned as we stepped out into the sun, and then winced at the brightness. The sun loungers had been moved off the lawn and an elaborate crazy golf course had taken over. We stood for a minute, looking at the castle, windmill, loops and ramps. It looked like fun.

  “I could actually win this one,” I said confidently. My dad couldn’t walk past a crazy golf course without having a go. He was a bit obsessed, and I was suddenly thankful for all the time he’d forced me to spend hitting a ball around miniature courses.

  “Sorry,” Matt said. “This one’s mine!”

  “Don’t count your chickens …”

  He sat down to eat breakfast. “Did you see Margaret this morning?”

  “No,” I said, the corners of my mouth twitching upwards as I sat opposite him. “Did you see Ryan?”

  “No sign of him yet.”

  “Good morning!” Margaret suddenly appeared behind us and I felt like we’d been caught out.

  “Morning,” we greeted her.

  “Let’s get it over with, then …” She looked at us each in turn, once she’d spent a moment checking out the golf course. “Who’s got something to say about last night?”

  Matt and I attempted to look puzzled, but she laughed at us. “Oh come on … out with it. I’m old enough to be his mother and whatever else you’re saying …” She grinned as though she was genuinely amused by the situation.

  “Oh, you mean you and Ryan?” Matt asked innocently. “I say go for it. You’re only as old as the guy you’re snogging, isn’t that the saying?” He looked at me.

  “I don’t think that’s it,” I mused. “But we are all adults …” I attempted to sound serious, but when Margaret started laughing I struggled to keep the smile from my face.

  “Oh, you’re very sweet, both of you,” she said. “I feel rough. I’m not even sure I can eat,” she went on as she took a piece of ham from Matt’s plate and gingerly put it in her mouth. “Were there cameras around, by the way? My memory is slightly hazy …”

  “I think there was one … maybe …” I thought about Carl standing next to the couch while Ryan and Margaret played tonsil tennis. “I’m not sure.”

  “It was Carl,” Matt announced.

  “I just hope this never gets shown in Australia. My daughter would disown me.”

  “You’ve got a daughter?” I asked.

  “Yeah, she’s sixteen, and I’d say Ryan is just her type …” I lost it at that point and Matt and I both gave up on being polite and fell about laughing. I looked up to see Ryan walking in, and quickly got myself under control.

  “Morning, Ryan!” Matt and I greeted him simultaneously.

  “Morning,” he mumbled and nodded at Margaret. I started giggling when Matt snorted with laughter.

  “I forgot coffee.” Matt’s voice came out as a squeak as he stifled his laughter. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  “Me too,” I said, following him. Carl came with us and we just made it into the dining room before we let our laughter out. I was holding my sides as I laughed uncontrollably. Eventually I had to drop to my knees, gasping for breath.

  “That …” Matt kept saying but couldn’t get any further with his sentence. I lay down on my back and stared at the ceiling while I held my stomach and tried to take deep breaths.

  I calmed down pretty quickly when Adam moved into my vision. “Hi,” I said.

  “I might just get that coffee …” Matt grinned at me before wandering back to the kitchen with Carl in tow.

  “Sorry about last night,” I blurted. “I might have been a bit drunk.” Of course, he said nothing so I just lay on the floor, looking up at him, feeling like the biggest fool who ever lived. “Anyway, I’m a bit embarrassed and I wanted to say something so it’s not awkward, but I think it might just be more awkward now.” He reached out and pulled me up from the floor. I looked right into his eyes. And he winked at me.

 
“I had to use the boys’ bathroom,” Chrissie told us loudly when she descended the stairs at the other side of the room. “Kelly has the hangover from hell. Bless her. Sorry, did I interrupt something?”

  “Nope,” I replied and moved in her direction.

  “You look hot,” Chrissie commented, as though she hadn’t chosen my clothes and admired my new look ten minutes ago. “Doesn’t she look hot, Adam?”

  I gave her a quick death stare before walking past her and back outside to join Ryan and Margaret. I kept hoping the ground would open up and swallow me, but I wasn’t that lucky.

  “I’m glad they’re not making us do anything energetic today,” Matt commented, handing me a cup of coffee. He glanced at Chrissie and gave her a quick nod before sitting down to the remainder of his breakfast. “Sorry about before,” he told Margaret. “I think I swallowed something funny by mistake.”

  “It seemed like it,” Margaret smiled at him. “I hope you’re okay now?”

  “Fully recovered, thanks!”

  “You’re a sorry-looking bunch,” Dylan told us when he walked past and dived into the pool, looking annoyingly sprightly.

  I glanced at Ryan and felt worse just looking at him. He looked like he had the ultimate hangover: nausea and a headache mixed with embarrassment and shame. It was painful to look at him, and he was the quietest he’d been since we arrived.

  Chelsea arrived five minutes later, and I could’ve sworn she enjoyed the fact that we all looked and felt terrible. “As I’m sure you have all realised, we’re having a few technical problems …” She trailed off as Maria’s voice drifted through to us, her Spanish accent unmistakable. She walked purposefully in with a tray and deposited a full English breakfast in front of Matt.

  I swear I saw Matt’s eyes well up. He stared at Maria for a moment before standing to envelop her in a hug. She squeezed his cheek as he released her, never stopping chattering. He kissed her cheek and then she disappeared as quickly as she’d appeared.

  I smiled as I looked at Matt and saw there really were tears in his eyes. “Bloody hell,” he sniffed. “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He picked up a sausage and took a bite before glancing up at Chelsea, who was looking fairly dumbstruck. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

  “Erm … technical problems …” she began again. “There’s a temporary shortage of cameramen so the producers have asked that you try to spend the bulk of your time out here in the communal area, to help with filming. They would really appreciate your cooperation. Enjoy your breakfast, and I’ll see you shortly for a round of golf!”

  Chapter 17

  It was a lovely, relaxed morning. Chelsea returned half an hour after she left us, wearing a quirky pink golf outfit, and was as flamboyant as ever while she refereed our golf tournament. I thought it was great fun and, with another £500 at stake, I began to be a little competitive. Ryan, on the other hand, was not handling his hangover well and spent the whole time complaining and asking if he could just go to bed and forfeit his chance of winning the money. It wasn’t worth it, he told us; he was dying!

  Matt and I were in the lead the whole time. At the last hole, he was heckling me as we stood side by side. Our scores were tied.

  “You shouldn’t even bother,” he told me. “I can get this in one. With my eyes closed!”

  “Feel free to take it with your eyes closed,” I replied as I set my ball down and lined up my club. Looking up, I surveyed the ramp which led up to the windmill with its rotating sails. The hole was just at the other side of the windmill, and beyond that was Adam. He moved and caught my eye.

  Chrissie’s voice broke the silence. “You can do it!”

  My short swing was confident and the ball raced up the ramp. It flew through the gap in the sails and I held my breath. Plop! Straight into the hole. Kelly squealed and I turned to smile at Matt, my eyebrows raised. “Beat that!”

  I cheered when his ball hit the windmill sail and bounced back to him.

  “No need to be smug,” he told me while I danced around him.

  “I never win anything,” I told him. “I can’t believe it! Plus I’ve got no job; I can use the money.”

  My excitement remained and I teased Matt about his poor shot over lunch. Winning a game of crazy golf had never felt so good.

  Lunch – and a beer! – perked Ryan up and he was full of energy again when he suggested we play a game.

  “Like what?” Kelly asked. “More golf?”

  “No. Something else.” He looked around for a moment before chuckling and moving over to stand beside Carl, who took a step back. “I’m inventing a new game,” he told us proudly. “It’s called ‘stand behind the cameraman’.” He moved quickly behind Carl, who turned with his camera to follow him. Ryan moved around behind him and Carl looked like a dog chasing his tail before standing still and letting out a sarcastic laugh. He nodded at the other cameraman, who walked over to film Ryan while Matt ran over to stand behind the cameraman by the house.

  “I’ve got Adam!” I shouted while Kelly, Chrissie and Margaret spread out to annoy the other cameramen. There were only four of them, so we had them well covered.

  “Go away!” Adam flashed a cheeky grin when I moved to stand directly behind him. He turned and grabbed my arm to pull me in front of him. I laughed and ducked behind him again, my arms naturally wrapping around his waist as I stood behind him.

  “What are you going to do now?” I asked, expecting him to wriggle away.

  “Nothing,” he whispered. My heart raced when his hand brushed briefly against my arm. I enjoyed the feel of his body against mine, and was reluctant to move away. I stood on my tiptoes to look over his shoulder and watch the others playing around. The mute cameraman who Matt was messing with looked completely unamused. Dylan was leaning out of his hammock to watch the entertainment.

  “Look,” I whispered in Adam’s ear. “Dylan’s cracked a smile – make sure you get that on camera.” He moved around and I moved with him.

  “New game,” Matt suddenly shouted. “Tickle the cameraman!”

  I spat out a laugh when I saw Matt tickling the guy, who looked like he might punch him at any moment. “That sounds like a great game,” I told Adam, “and I already know where you’re ticklish.”

  He wriggled away from me when my hands moved over his ribs.

  “No!” He tried to look serious but laughed while I tickled him. “Stop it!” he told me. “If the camera ends up broken, we’re both in trouble.”

  “Maybe you should put it down, then.” I continued to tickle him and he grabbed my wrist with his free hand.

  “Seriously! Stop it now,” he said with a laugh. “Right, that’s it …” He put his camera on the table and grabbed me around the waist.

  “Get off!” I squealed.

  He lifted me off the ground and I squirmed as he moved towards the pool.

  “Okay, I’ll leave you alone,” I promised. “Let’s just stop it now. Game over. Put me down!”

  “Fine,” he agreed, setting me down next to the pool. “But no more tickling, okay?”

  “Promise!” I told him, just as I caught sight of Matt as he ran past, giving Adam and me a quick shove as he went. I grabbed at Adam’s arm to steady myself, tightening my grip when we toppled into the water together.

  When I emerged from the water I gasped and smiled as I heard the laughter around me.

  “Oh, great,” Adam said beside me. “There goes my job.” He attempted to look annoyed, but his eyes sparkled and his mouth twitched into a smirk. “The pool’s nice,” he quipped as he splashed water over my face and swam to the steps. “I’ll be right back … if I don’t get fired!” He gave Matt a friendly shove and shook water from his walkie-talkie while he headed into the house.

  Chrissie gave me a look when I got out of the pool, her eyes sparkling with amusement. She opened her mouth and sang, “Lucy and Ad—” I cut her off with a quick shove and she landed with a splash in the pool.


  She was laughing when she swam up to the side of the pool. I stripped off my dripping wet clothes to reveal my bikini underneath, deciding a proper swim would be nice. I’d just spread out my clothes to dry when Ryan jumped up from the couch and ran inside.

  “The bloody chicken’s back,” he shouted when he reached the safety of the living room. I saw the golden-brown bird bobbing around on the other side of the fence.

  “Don’t call her that,” Matt said. “It’s sweet, gentle Matilda. She’s come for your therapy session.”

  “Just get rid of her, will you?” Ryan said.

  “I’ve got an idea.” Matt moved into the storeroom and came back with a bottle of beer. “If you can get to me, you get the beer.” He stood halfway between Ryan and Matilda.

  “Or I could just get myself a beer,” Ryan told him.

  “If you go in that room, I’ll bring Matilda in and lock the door,” Matt told him. “Just come and get the beer. Matilda’s behind a fence; you’re safe.”

  I sat with my legs dangling in the pool and watched Ryan edge slowly outside. Silence settled over us while he took small steps towards Matt, taking deep breaths as he went. He was reaching for the beer when Matt took a step back in Matilda’s direction. Ryan glared at Matt and took another step. They moved closer and closer to Matilda until Ryan came to a halt a few steps before the fence.

  “Just give me the beer now.”

  Matt handed it over and Ryan didn’t take his eyes from Matilda as he took long swigs of beer.

  Matt slapped Ryan on the back. “Well done!”

  “So have you conquered your fear?” I asked when Ryan joined me by the pool.

  “No. But I don’t think Matilda is as evil as the other chickens. She’s a nicer colour.”

  I smiled to myself and turned to find Adam hovering over my shoulder. “Hi.” I looked up at him. His hair was still damp and ruffled. He returned my smile.

  ***

  “I don’t know what’s going on,” I told Chrissie as we lay in bed that night. “Adam winked at me. What on earth does that mean?”

  “I have no idea,” she said. “But maybe it means he loves you.”