The Stand-In: my life as an understudy

by Elizabeth Stevens

  There was something really nice in that revelation and it made everything that had happened that morning pale into less significance. I smiled at Govi, thankful in one way for once that Ella had left her responsibilities to me yet again.

  As Lake and Ramsey carried the box inside, they still seemed to be arguing over which song was the Aussie pub song.

  “Farnham, all the way,” Ramsey said.

  Lake scrunched his face. “No. Braithwaite.”

  I couldn’t help myself asking, “Did you guys just watch that beer ad or do you actually like those songs?”

  All four boys froze and looked between each other before looking at me.

  “Uh… We did… We didn’t…” Ramsey stuttered.

  “What he’s trying to say is we most definitely not just see that ad. We came up with the argument ourselves,” Lake offered.

  Eli chuckled. “Oh, for sure.”

  “Oh! Lake. Ramsey. This is Chloe,” Govi said happily. “Gin. Lake and Ramsey.”

  “I guessed,” I said with a smile, nodding to them.

  Lake was cool as the proverbial cucumber, standing there in his pastel blue jumper with the sleeves pushed up and his dusky chinos and his hair swept back perfectly. It was a far cry from the more indie rocker look he sported on stage, but it was the Lake I was more familiar with at a distance in the corridors of Winters.

  Meanwhile, Ramsey looked the same as he always did. He was the token punk boy with the dyed black hair, leather cuffs and all black clothes. But he always seemed nice enough from what I saw – again, at a distance.

  “I don’t really think hot does her justice, Govi,” Lake said and I could see he was just as suavely casual as Eli.

  I cleared my throat and gave up hoping my cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. “You told them I was hot?”

  Govi shrugged. “What? You are hot.”

  “Classically beautiful fits far better,” Lake said, giving me a wink.

  I looked down to hide my shy smile. “Shall we get these things inside?” I asked, assuming that was their aim and wanting to shift the conversation from any talk about me.

  “Chloe’s right,” Eli said loudly, pushing his way between me and the box Lake and Ramsey were carrying with a box of his own.

  Lake and Ramsey snorted as they looked at Eli’s retreating back, gave me a nod, and followed him inside.

  “Need any help?” I asked Govi.

  He shook his head as he closed the boot. “Nah. We’re good. You just hang around and look pretty.” He winked and I laughed.

  When we got inside, the boys were pulling bits out of the boxes while Milly seemed to be checking things off her list and arguing with Ramsey as though it was second-nature for them.

  I dropped my bag by our trees and went to check the papier-mâché. It had dried nice and hard and the tree seemed pretty sturdy.

  “These look good,” Lake said, tapping one as he stopped beside me.

  I nodded. “Thanks. Most of it’s Govi to be honest.”

  Lake smirked. “He’s trying to impress you.”

  I blinked quickly and looked over at Govi. “No,” I laughed awkwardly. “No. He’s not.”

  Lake nodded. “He is.”

  “But why would he…?”

  Lake shrugged. “No idea. There seems to be something about you, Chloe Cowan.”

  My snort was almost hysterical. “There isn’t, I promise.”

  Lake looked at me. “So why do those two only talk about you and the set list?”

  My heart thundered. “I…don’t know.”

  Lake laughed and patted my back. “Sorry. I’m teasing. I mean, it’s true but I’m just playing. I get it.”

  Govi called him over to them and Lake left me standing there wondering what it was he got and how I could get him to un-get it…

  “Stop distracting them!” I heard Milly cry and looked up to see her frowning at Ramsey. “Seriously, if you’re going to be here you can be helpful at least.”

  The boys of Quicksilver all grinned at each other before breaking out in an a Capella version of the Beatles’ ‘Help’. Milly tried to keep a straight face, but she finally broke into a wide smile.

  “Fine,” she huffed. “Just don’t be distracting.”

  Lake segued them into ‘With a Little Help From My Friends’ and Milly threw her hands up in defeat before walking away and calling everyone else to gather around. Govi winked at me as they sang and I shook my head with a smile as I went over to Milly.

  “Right, people,” she started then clicked her fingers at Lauren. “Focus please. Ignore them. Ticket sales start tomorrow and I need to make sure we’ve got floats, tickets, schedules, and posters ready.” Milly looked down at her clipboard. “Lindy, Anna and Claire, how are the tickets? Are we all ready?”

  Anna nodded. “They’re all cut out and we’ve put them in a box with the float.”

  “And the float has been counted and locked with this key?” Milly asked, holding up the key attached to the clipboard.

  Really, there was no safer place for it since I had never seen the clipboard out of her sight.

  Claire nodded. “The spreadsheet’s all ready and so is the app.”

  Milly nodded and ticked something off on her list. “And everyone’s familiar with how to use the app?”

  I was the only one who nodded when Milly looked up and she sighed. In the background, the boys had finally stopped singing.

  “For the rest of the class, Chloe, can you tell us how to use the app?” Milly asked.

  “Uh…” I looked at them all. “Sure. So just open it on the tablet, select the library, click on ‘Formal 2019 tickets’, input however many tickets the person wants, click ‘add’ up in the top right corner, then click ‘charge’ at the top. If they’re paying by card, you swipe it. If not, you select cash and put how much they give you, then you give them any necessary change and if they want email or text for the receipt.”

  Everyone looked at me blankly.

  “How did you remember all that?” Lindy accused.

  “Um…” I cleared my throat. “Good memory I guess.”

  I wasn’t going to tell anyone I was so terrified of messing up, I’d spent the last week trying to memorise the sequence.

  “At least someone’s putting in the effort,” Milly sighed. “Thanks, Chloe. Now, schedule. I would prefer two volunteers for…”

  She stopped as music started up and we all turned to see the Quicksilver boys up on the stage with instruments playing the opening bars to one of their songs, ‘One More Time’. It was probably their most popular song and I was sure it wasn’t lost on Milly that her command of the crowd was waning.

  She clapped her hand against the back of her clipboard a couple of times. “Focussing, please.” She waited until everyone was looking at her again. “Thank you. Now as I was saying, I’d prefer two volunteers for lunchtime tomorrow, but I will choose if necessary.”

  It was obvious no one wanted to volunteer and I felt very ‘Hunger Games’ for a moment, but managed to stop myself volunteering as tribute. I did, however, volunteer.

  “I’ll do it,” I said, putting my hand up.

  Milly looked me over and, when it was painfully obvious no one was going to offer as well, she nodded and turned to the band.

  “Who wants to volunteer for ticket sales with Chloe for lunchtime tomorrow?” Milly called to them.

  Eli broke from the song only long enough to nod and raise his hand to her.

  “Thank you…Eli,” Milly said, sounding surprised, before she turned back to the rest of us. “Right. If no one else wants to volunteer for any shifts, I’ll make up the roster and hand it out at the meeting tomorrow afternoon. I would like to say I am a little disappointed, though.” She looked pointedly at poor Brenda, who flushed and looked at the floor. “Okay, now I want to do a quick rundown of where everything’s at before we go,” was met with a round of heavy sighing.


  Milly looked at me and I spared her a sympathetic smile. I knew Milly and Ella hated each other – the why I didn’t know – and she was a task master with formal preparations, but as far as I could tell it was only because she wanted it to be perfect. And honestly, without her breathing down everyone’s necks, I was pretty sure we’d all get distracted and not get a lot done. So while I couldn’t say I liked Milly, I certainly didn’t dislike her. I felt like I understood her and at heart she wasn’t a bad person.

  Which was probably why Ella hated her. And the fact Milly hated Ella was not a mystery to me at all.

  Milly went around the circle and had us give her a progress update on all the different aspects of the preparations while the band played us a weird assortment of songs – both theirs and covers – between arguing over what to play next. When it came to my turn, I really wished that Govi hadn’t left me to do all the talking.

  I pointed a little pathetically at our finished tree. “So, we’re on trees for the walkway and we have one done so far. It doesn’t look like a lot, I know. But now we know what we’re doing, it should all be a much faster process.”

  Milly nodded as she made notes.

  “They look really good so far,” Phil said.

  Taken aback, I had to remind myself to smile. “Oh, thanks.”

  There was a general consensus of nodding and smiling and I felt like that was one little win. Which was more than could be said for Brenda and her magic mushrooms.

  “I’m almost at twice what I had before…” she started hesitantly, looking to Milly.

  “Before you lost them,” Milly finished for her.

  Brenda nodded, pushing her glasses up her nose. “Yes. Um…We have one for the middle of each table now and we’re just working on the…the smaller ones.”

  Milly nodded. “Good work.”

  Brenda smiled happily and I returned it when our eyes caught for a moment.

  There were a few other updates needed – the disco ball, the linen, the tulle and fairy lights for the ceiling – then we were told to make sure that we had everything sorted and dismissed.

  The band was still playing, so I wandered over to our finished tree to look over it again. As I’d said to Milly, now we knew what we were doing, we could probably be working on one each at the same time and get it done much faster. We’d ended up sticking with the drama blocks because it had been easiest after all. But it was pretty well hidden and passed a cursory nudge test.

  After listening to everyone’s updates, I was starting to be able to picture what the formal was going to look like when they were all finished. I looked around the room, imagining the dappled light streaming through the tulle and the 2D trees Milly had planned. Someone was in charge of little forest and fantasy creatures to be peeking out from corners and tables. It was going to look amazing.

  But the band suddenly playing a very upbeat, punk-like version of Toto’s ‘Africa’ sort of spoiled it all. Which was probably good, because there was little use in me dreaming about something I was never going to experience.

  For some reason, as I thought that, my eyes drifted to Eli. He smiled and gave me a wave from the stage, and it was a very surreal moment.

  They might have been playing to a maximum of thirty people, but all four of them looked completely in their element. They looked like they were in the place they were meant to be. They looked like they’d found their purpose.

  For one brief moment, I was a little jealous. I let myself have a tiny moment where I imagined being up there on the stage in front of thousands of people and playing music, but nothing about it felt right. That wasn’t my life. That was Ella’s life apparently, and one I was being prepared for in case she failed or she’d died tragically young or something.

  When the boys finished their song, they put the instruments down and pulled together to talk.

  Instead of leaving, I pulled some more paper to me and started making more branches.

  “You can go if you want,” Milly said from behind me.

  I smiled. “Thanks.” Reluctantly, I put down the branch.

  “I applaud the work ethic, though,” Milly said in that stilted way she had and I was starting to think she just wasn’t used to letting people in.

  She and I had that in common though, so I had no right to judge.

  “Thanks,” I said again.

  Milly nodded and moved off to check on whatever else needed checking.

  “Are you free this afternoon, Gin?” Govi asked, dropping onto the table next to me.

  I smiled. “I’m not unfortunately. I’m due at my gran’s.”

  Govi groaned dramatically. “Curses!” He looked at me and chuckled. “No worries. Next time?”

  I nodded and, despite having no idea what next time would involve, I said, “Sure.”

  Govi fist-pumped the air. “Sweet.”

  “Did we get everything out of the car?” Lake called from the stage.

  “Yeah. I think so,” Govi called back.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Gove,” I said to him.

  He looked at me and smiled. “Wild horses couldn’t keep me away,” he said with a wink. Then pushed off the table and walked back to the boys, his arms spread wide, shouting more than singing, “That’s the way it’s gonna be, little darlin’!”

  Lake and Eli joined in while Ramsey cried, “Not again!” then tried drowning them out with ‘The Voice’.

  Needless to say, three to one was not a fair fight and I managed to slip out unnoticed while they play fought between themselves.

  Ticket to Flirt

  “That’s the fourth person in twenty minutes,” Eli commented and I nodded as I sat back down.

  “Yep.”

  He dropped into the chair beside me, fiddling with the lid of his Peach Coke bottle. “I don’t get it.”

  “Don’t get what?” I asked, watching the people continue to walk by out little alcove in the hallway.

  Some of them flirted with Eli, who felt no qualms about flirting back, and some got all shy when he smiled at them. And some – read most – of them thought I was Ella and the audible sigh of disappointment was I presumed what had Eli confused now.

  “How do they think she’s you?” He paused. “You’re her?” He frowned like he wasn’t sure what he was saying.

  “You don’t have to like a person for the family resemblance to be strong,” I replied resignedly.

  “But you…” He breathed out heavily, shook his head, and sat back further in his chair.

  “I what, Eli?” I asked as I smiled politely at the person who walked up to the table.

  “Two please,” she asked and I nodded as I put it through the app.

  “Grace,” Eli said, sitting forward quickly and slamming his Coke on the table.

  “Hey Eli,” she said with a rueful smirk.

  “Hey yourself,” he answered. “This. Is this Ella?” He pointed both his arms at me.

  Grace looked me over and I felt very exposed under that deep brown gaze. Finally she frowned and shook her head. “Am I supposed to say yes?” she asked slowly.

  Eli leant on his knees. “Did you at any point today think that this was Ella?”

  Grace looked at me again. “Well yeah. On first glance, she looks like Ella.” Grace shrugged. “But if she’s Ella, she’s Ella with some concept of dignity.”

  Eli snorted, trying to hide it too late behind his fist. He nodded. “Okay,” he said, still with his fist in front of his face.

  “Cash or card?” I asked Grace, wishing Eli would just let it be. I decided not to say it in case that led to an impromptu concert after the day before.

  “Cash,” Grace said, handing it over.

  I took it, gave her the change, and looked back at her. “Receipt?”

  Grace nodded. “Thanks. Gdiamond at Winters.”

  I nodded and input it into the tablet.

  “Oh, Gracey baby. Born rockstar with that name,” Eli si
ghed appreciatively, crossing his arms.

  Grace snorted. “Says you, Mr Sweet.” She shook her head at him. “Behave yourself.”

  “I make no promises,” he answered.

  Grace looked at me with a smile. “Good luck with this one.”

  I smiled back. “Thanks. I need it.”

  Grace looked between us and a weird smile passed over her face. “Yes, you do.”

  She walked away and Eli was shaking his head, his smile just showing behind the fist back in front of his face again.

  “Here I thought it impossible for you to be friends with a girl,” I quipped.

  Eli’s grin widened. “Not impossible at all.”

  “Is she gay?” I asked. It seemed just like Eli to only be able to be friends with a girl he had no chances with.

  “Sexist!” Eli cried then grinned again. “But no. I don’t blame you for thinking it, though. Nah, Grace is just good people.”

  “Which makes the girls you flirt with…?” I asked him.

  He looked at me and I could see he was about to say something less than complimentary but stopped himself just in time. His self-satisfied smirk dropped. He drummed on the table for a moment as he looked at me and I patiently waited for his response.

  “Is it Tuesday?” he asked slowly, his face wrinkling hopefully.

  I shook my head. “Not last I checked.”

  “That foot in mouth seems to be spreading.”

  I looked away to hide my smile. “That’s what you’re going with?”

  “I have no excuse. I’m a terrible human being.”

  I looked back at him. “That seems a little drastic.”

  He grinned infectiously. “Does that mean you like me?”

  I scoffed. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

  “Yeah, you…” he started.

  I frowned. “Me? Me what?”

  “Yeah, you.” He looked around quickly, then shuffled his chair closer to mine and broke out into song. “I used to wanna be, living like there’s only me…”

  I hung my head, shaking it wearily as he went on. And on.