Sin With Me (With Me Series Book 2)
Page 16
“We’re being irresponsible.”
“Cam, I think it’s too late for a lesson on responsibility.”
I liked the way she called me by my name.
“No, I meant that I don’t have a condom.”
“Oh, well. I wouldn’t expect you to. I mean, you’re a—” She stopped before completely confirming our sin out loud.
“Ahm, I’m just before my period, so if you’re worried about pregnancy, you shouldn’t. And I know the church teaches family planning, so I’m good.” She looked up then added with a smile. “I’m really good.”
“Kate?”
“Yes?”
“Are you sure you’re comfortable if I take you like this? I can tell you, and I hope you believe me, I don’t have any STDs.”
She nodded. “I know, I just wanted to make sure that you’re o—”
“Kate?”
She looked up at me with her beautiful golden eyes. She was nervous. So was I, but there was no stopping what had already begun. And we were doing so much better when we weren’t talking.
“Shut up, gorgeous.”
In one swift pull at her hips, I brought her forward and plunged inside her tight pussy, then held her. She wrapped her legs around my hips. I lifted her back off the table and she drew her arms around my neck, pulling my mouth to hers. Her warm body against mine felt perfect, like it was meant to be sinned with. She rocked her weight over me, her body slowly rolling from her hips, through her waist and then chest, the waves of our skin-to-skin contact becoming more fervent with each roll.
I couldn’t get enough of her: her mouth, her sex squeezing around my cock, her whole body.
It’s been too long.
My thrusts deepened and her breaths shortened as I focused on the tightness of her pussy. Pounding between her legs, the sound of our grunts and slaps of my thighs against her ass echoed through the room. And the smell — our smell of pure sex — was like an aphrodisiac.
“Kate…” I whispered. “Jesus, Kate. You’re… absolutely worthy of everything.”
Even sin.
Especially sin.
I lunged twice more, stilling inside her, finding the kind of relief that tore the fibers from my bones, traveled through my veins, and shot out my dick, obliterating me.
Sweat dripped down my forehead and chest. She clung to me, her breasts still one with my pecs, her fingers gently scraping below my hairline and her body trembling.
I didn’t let my mind wonder about the consequences, because deep inside, I was convinced that I was supposed to have her. One way or another, I had ended up in this little town because this moment was meant to happen, even if it was just for one night. A very worthy night.
“Kate?”
“Yes?” She breathed, looking up. Some of her locks were stuck to her face, and I reached for her cheek, pulling away the evidence of our frenzy, tucking the hair behind her ear.
“That was amazing.”
Her happy smile made me grin. “It was amazing for me too.”
She slowly unwound her arms and legs from around me and I pulled out with pride, watching my cum spill out of her pussy.
“Stay here.” I headed for the sink, then stopped and turned around just as she reached for the laced cups of her bra underneath her breasts. “And don’t cover those just yet. I’m not done with you.”
She squealed out loud and quickly covered her mouth with her hand. I opened one of the drawers and removed a clean rag, soaked it in warm water and went back to Kate. She opened her legs for me willingly, with full trust, and I washed my seed off her inner thighs and soaked folds.
“When’s the last time you had sex?” I asked.
“With a person or by myself?”
“Well, I know you know I had it with myself at the retreat.”
She gasped. “You saw me that night?”
“Watching me masturbate? Yeah, I did.”
“Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing.” She covered her face with her hands and I pulled them away, up toward my mouth, kissing them, watching her with interest.
“Did you touch yourself when I came? I saw your hand down your panties. Did it feel good?” I lowered my hand to her thigh to feel her smooth skin.
Her cheeks flushed red and I knew the answer before she spoke because her eyes swam with lust. Her mouth opened by a fraction for the next quick inhalation. Up until then I hadn’t realized that I knew her body so well.
“Yes,” she breathed out, her heart rate picking up.
“Like this?” I reached between her legs and cupped her sex, slowly pulling my fingers upward, one finger in each valley of her folds, until I reached her most sensitive nerves. Her legs quaked as I touched her there. She leaned forward and rested her head on my shoulder, her hands holding onto my arms. As she rolled her hips, joining my finger’s momentum, I breathed in her scent, concentrating on the beautiful moans coming out of her mouth. Her breathing was uneven, and I knew that she’d come in my hand within minutes.
And then I felt her hand slide down my arm and reach between us. She grasped me, securing her fingers around my dick. I nearly spilled right there, but I held on, now even more determined to please her again. She slid her hand over me, up and down, pulling my skin along, her fondling more aggressive with each stroke. I squeezed my ass and the pressure in my lower spine built. We held onto each other as I brought her to the peak once more and let go of my own desire, spewing my seed upward, this time over her bare belly and exposed breasts.
She wouldn’t stop shaking, her orgasm taking much longer than mine to recede. I didn’t pull away until she calmed, not wanting to let her go until the last ounce of pleasure had left her body. When she finally settled in my arms, I waited a few moments and then rinsed the cloth and washed her skin again.
“Do you think we’re going to hell?” she asked.
“Well, heaven’s doors are definitely closed for us at the moment.” Though I couldn’t stop hoping that it was temporary. “Kate, this evening… I want you to know that I have absolutely no regrets. Tonight was… perfect.”
“It was everything I wanted.” She smiled.
I gently covered her breasts, tucking them back into her bra cups, and picked her panties up off the floor. I pulled up my pants and tucked the delicate fabric in my pocket. She blushed again, then cleared her throat, and proceeded to button up her dress. “It’s a good thing that Father John is a sound sleeper.”
“We were pretty quiet. For the most part. But once he goes to sleep, he rarely gets up again. Kate, you know that this can’t happen again.”
“I know. But I’m not sorry.”
I sighed. She would be sorry in the morning. She just didn’t know it yet.
“Neither am I. But you should be. I ruined you.”
She shook her head as if arguing with me, chuckling a little along the way. “I was ruined long before I met you.”
“I didn’t mean to test your faith. I didn’t mean for you to go against your beliefs. I didn’t mean for you to sin with me.”
“Yes, you did.” She looked up. It took all my strength not to crush my lips to hers again. “Cam, there is something you should know about me. The decisions I’ve made in my life, I regret a lot of them. But not this one. This was right. It felt right.”
She was still high on the two orgasms, and I wondered whether a third one was required to bring her back to reality. I doubted it would.
I pulled my shirt over my head, took her hand, and she hopped off the table. Kate reached to the counter and switched on the kettle before fastening the buttons on her dress.
“Which decisions have you regretted?” I asked.
“I mean, my life wasn’t exactly pink rainbows and hearts before coming to Pace. I hadn’t planned on being here so long either.”
“What happened?”
“I told you that my mother’s ill, and I don’t know how to help her any more. She has the best care possible, but keeps asking for this Jack. What if I never fi
nd him?”
“You mean John.”
“I don’t think she means John, though. But if I don’t find Jack soon, I’m going to have to leave Pace and see if there’s anything else I can do for her.”
Her leaving me wasn’t part of the deal. It wasn’t part of the equation. Kate poured two cups of tea. She stirred in the honey, slowly, as if reminiscing over a memory.
“I promise to keep our secret.” She finally turned around.
“Me too.”
When she looked at me with her doe eyes, something snapped in my chest. I didn’t understand the feeling, as I’d never experienced it, and passed it off as post-sex nostalgia.
“A secret we’ll both have to confess,” I said.
“Can I confess it to you?” she asked, upbeat.
“You know it doesn’t work that way.”
“Father John?” she asked, cringing, and I nodded.
“I can’t believe I’ll be confessing sleeping with a priest to another priest who could quite possibly be my father.”
“I gather you didn’t talk to him about it this evening.”
“No.”
“If it makes you feel any better, his hearing has been getting worse. You should talk to him tomorrow,” I urged. The only way her sin could be forgiven was if she confessed before my own secrets were spilled. Now that I had her, it wouldn’t take long for me to figure out how to make it work between us, because honestly, I’d never met anyone like her before. She was that person you gave up your life for. She was that person who’d make you laugh until you cried. She was the type of person who’d remain with you for better or worse.
“But I can’t do it yet.” She snapped me out my reverie.
“Why not?”
“Because one should be sorry for their sins, and I’m not sorry for this. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be.”
Oh, Kate.
Her naive nature was both toxic and cute. It wouldn’t take long for her to realize her mistake and line up at the confessional. This was Kate, and her trust in God was stronger than her urges – wasn’t it?
I sighed. If my faith wasn’t strong enough for me, then it couldn’t have been for her.
We had our tea that night and talked for another two hours, somewhat omitting, though I’m sure not forgetting, what had happened between us. I walked her home and kissed her hand goodnight. Getting too close to her mouth was dangerous, and I’d already done enough damage for the night.
Would there be consequences of our actions? Yes. Broken hearts, perhaps? Definitely. A satisfied soul who realized what had been missing in his life? Yeah, that too.
It was a soul that was fighting with itself. Tonight, she’d question her faith because of me. Her lust would turn to heartache and that would turn to hate because she’d made love to a man she didn’t even know.
Tonight, I ruined her soul, and I definitely ruined her body.
What have I done?
Chapter 18
Kate
What have I done?
I had been kneeling in my grandparents’ chapel, away from town and away from Father Cameron, since sunrise. Shame and guilt tortured me. I couldn’t eat or sleep and wondered whether my words – apologies, to be exact – this morning would even be heard. I was a sinner who’d seduced a priest. I wore that enticing dress on purpose, and I kept longer eye contact with the intention of being noticed. It was me who brushed by him in the line, and it was me who couldn’t stop thinking about him. I drew him toward me, and now I had endangered not only my life but also his. If anyone ever found out what I’d done… if anyone ever connected us, Cortez wouldn’t only be after me but after Father Cameron as well.
Maybe it is time to leave Pace?
I should have kept my distance, but I chose to get closer and closer. I made that choice. I asked him to sin with me. At this moment, I felt like my sins weren’t the only ones I was responsible for. I was responsible for mine as well as his.
Despite my guilt, there was still that deep desire in my chest, one that wouldn’t go away, as well as happiness that I couldn’t explain, and each time I thought back to that moment where my back was pressed against the kitchen table and my thighs felt the friction of his hips, I couldn’t stop smiling. The pulsing intensified in my core as I lusted for him. There was not a sting of remorse in my heart for what I’d done, and if I had the chance, I’d do it again. I would sin again. And again. And that was yet another sin.
I lifted my head, my gaze resting on the cross above. The orange hue of sunlight from a side stained-glass window illuminated the nailed figure. It was only then that I realized the enormity of my sin and found it difficult to swallow. My head fell forward and just hung for what seemed like forever, wobbling from time to time. My mother would have been disappointed in me. Why did I have to fall for a priest? A stray teardrop fell to the beam where I rested my elbows.
Was praying even worth it? Because if I couldn’t forgive myself, how could I ask God to? Especially for something I didn’t regret and didn’t want forgiven. I lifted my bowed head and looked through the stained-glass window at the chapel’s side, which disbursed the morning sun into different colors, casting the light in a vibrant pattern.
My knees felt bruised, and I stood up. The joint cracked and I massaged the area as I sat on the side bench underneath one of the windows. As I stepped in front of it, my one-inch heel caught between the boards in the process.
Great!
I tugged my leg, trying to wiggle my foot out, but the heel wouldn’t budge. I finally removed my foot from the shoe and crouched down to the floor. When I stood up, I turned around, lost my balance, and screamed.
“Kate, it’s me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Father Cameron caught me by my arm.
I clutched my heart, holding on as my pulse rushed through my veins.
“Oh, it’s okay. I… I didn’t hear you come in.”
How could I not have heard him? These boards squeaked as soon as a fly sat on them. Okay, maybe not a fly, but a mouse could definitely set one off.
“You were lost in prayer. I didn’t want to interrupt. Do you mind if I have a seat?” He gestured to the bench with his hand.
“No, go ahead. I was about to take a little break as well.”
I stepped sideways on the boards and they squeaked again as I rested on the side bench. I folded my hands over my lap and reached for my left knee, which was hurting more than the other.
“What happened there?” he asked.
“It’s from kneeling. The wooden boards aren’t as comfortable as the cushioned kneelers at church.”
“How long have you been kneeling?”
I didn’t have my watch or my cell phone. This morning, as I’d prayed, all sense of time disappeared. Looking at the higher sun, a good few hours must have passed.
“It’s been a while,” I answered.
“I looked for you at the church, then at home. I stopped by Lola’s as well.”
“Was she the one who gave up my hiding spot?”
“I’m sorry that you feel like you have to hide, and I’m sorry for what I did.”
“I hope you’re not sorry, because I’m not. I try to be, but I’m not. And as I recall, it wasn’t only you.”
“No, it wasn’t. But I should have known better. I tested your faith, and now you have regrets. You’ll have them for the rest of your life.”
“Like I said, it wasn’t just you, Ca… Father.”
He sighed and finally took a seat beside me. The old wood creaked underneath our weight. The bench wasn’t that long, and squeezing in was a little bit of a challenge, especially with both the need to keep my distance and the desire to be close to him.
“Does it help?” I asked.
“What?”
“Does praying help find the answers you don’t know you’re looking for?”
“That depends on you, Kate.”
“I’m pretty sure it will take a while, if not eternity, to make sense of�
� us. I’m… I’m so confused.”
“Have you spoken to Father John yet? He may be able to help.”
I shook my head. “What am I supposed to say? Hello, Father, how do you feel about your subordinate priest fucking a woman? By the way, I might be your step-daughter.”
Father Cameron winced.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to swear.”
“It’s all right. You don’t need to talk to him in such detail. Talk to him on a spiritual level first.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea just yet.”
“You know, you could always talk to me.”
“You already know what I did and that I’m going to hell. And what if I talk to you and hell begins coercing me to… you know, do it again?”
Not that hell would have a tough job doing so. It wouldn’t. Wanting Father Cameron even more than I did last night scared me; and my obsession for him wouldn’t ease.
“I’m doomed no matter what I do,” I sighed.
There was no way out of this. I should have accepted that having him touch me like that again was out of the question. It was a one-time thing, no matter how much I wanted it to happen again. Yet I was certain that my craving for him would never be satisfied.
“That only means I’m just as doomed, if not worse.”
“No, you can’t be. You’re…”
“A priest, a human, a sinner, a liar.”
“A liar?”
“I’ve lied to myself that I could do this job. I obviously lied to Father John. The more time passes and the more days I spend with you, I begin to realize that my path may not be what I thought it was.”
What was he saying?
“Wait – you can’t quit being a priest because of… of what we did.”
My heart skipped with an extra beat of hope.
“I wasn’t thinking about quitting. Kate, I wish I could tell you how much last night meant to me. At the same time, I wish I could tell you that it meant nothing. I wish I could push you away; but it’s not that simple.”
“I know,” I whispered. “That’s what makes it so confusing. It feels wrong and right at the same time, but which one is it?”
Him sitting next to me, the heat of his body on my arm, distracted me. A memory of his bare thighs against mine flashed through my mind.