Sin With Me (With Me Series Book 2)

by Lacey Silks

  “That’s why I’m sorry to have put you in this situation. Confusing you about your faith was the last thing I wanted.”

  Another glance back in time, and my need for him grew. Something twirled in the pit of my stomach, and it couldn’t have been food because I hadn’t eaten this morning.

  “How do I move past it?”

  Because I sure as hell didn’t think that I could. Worse yet, I didn’t want to. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw us. Each time I heard his voice, I’d remember his deep grunts and loud exhales as he plunged inside me.

  “Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow,” he quoted, and closed his eyes. A ribbon of light danced over his cheek as he gently moved with each breath. Keeping his eyes closed, he said, “My father’s last words to me before I left were to find hope; and sitting here it feels like I did, but I don’t quite know what to do with it.”

  I couldn’t help but grin. He had found Hope. He’d found me.

  “Can I trust you? Can I truly trust you, Father Cameron?”

  “Yes, Kate. Of course you can trust me.”

  I let out a long breath. “‘Hold on to hope like it’s your lifeline.’ That’s what my mother always told me. That’s why she named me Hope. Kate is my middle name, after my grandmother, as you know. My first name’s Hope.”

  “Not Kate?”

  I shook my head.

  His eyes opened wide. Father Cameron turned toward me, resting his elbow on the back of the bench. “So you don’t usually go by Kate? Can I still call you Kate?”

  “I usually go by Hope. My father, or I guess who I always thought was my father, called me Hope because he said that if there was anything in this world you couldn’t lose, it was hope. He got sentimental like that sometimes. I think it’s because he was raised in a foster home.”

  “Really? So was my father. He always said it was the foundation that had made him a successful man. So… Hope Black,” he said.

  “You’re the only one who knows me… ” I heard my own words slow down and take on a sensual meaning. I shouldn’t have been saying things like that to him. It would only become more difficult. This warm feeling I had in my chest for Father Cameron had to stop, and it had to stop now. “You’re the only one who knows who I am. I’m sorry. I never meant to mislead you.”

  “I feel like I’m getting to know you all over again, Hope Black. I think I like Kate better. It gives you an edge. What I’m trying to say is that I like you. I like you a lot, whether you’re Hope or Kate, and I’m not sure how to stop it. You’re finding your roots and your life is making much more sense, and that makes me happy for you. Hope.” He repeated my name and grinned.

  “Are you thinking about me in a bikini?” I asked.

  “No, I’m thinking about you without one.”

  I gasped, and then resting my elbows on my knees, I lowered my head to my hands. “Cameron, what are we going to do?”

  “You need to confess to Father John.”

  “But I’m not sorry.”

  “Kate, you don’t know how much I want to tell you that what you did, what we did, is not as wrong as it seems. I’d do anything to take that guilt I know you’re feeling away, but I can’t. Only you can. I can’t expect you to trust me or to ever trust another priest again, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry I took that trust away from you.”

  I lifted my head again and swept the tears off my cheeks with my hand.

  “You weren’t the only one in that kitchen, were you? So don’t try to take all the blame on yourself. I’m as much to blame for what happened, if not more. I seduced you.”

  He laughed and shook his head in amusement.

  “So, what happens now? Do we just forget about it?”

  If that was his choice, then how was I supposed to do that? How was I supposed to forget the way he held me in his arms, the way he kissed my neck and each of my breasts, and the way he felt when he was inside me? I wouldn’t, and I didn’t want to.

  “Honestly, I don’t know,” I sighed. “I’ll go see Father John today. I’m afraid he’ll figure it all out. I don’t want to get you into any trouble.”

  “The only trouble I’m in is the one I create, so if it’s deserved, I won’t argue.”

  “What if he takes your license away? Is there a priest license?”

  “No,” he laughed.

  “Then he’ll expel you from the church.”

  “Kate, I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m more concerned about you. But I’m glad to hear you’re going to see Father John.”

  “Me too.”

  “And you realize that what happened last night…”

  “Can’t happen again. I know.” Though Father Cameron didn’t seem pleased with my answer. Did he want a different one?

  He twisted my way and reached out to touch my cheek, but stopped himself.

  “Right. It can’t happen again. I’m taking the next few days off. They were planned well before last night, so I don’t want you to think it’s because of you.”

  He did know me well. That was exactly what I would have thought.

  “Thanks for letting me know.”

  “Can we talk some more when I return? I’d like to think that we can remain friends.”

  Friends. That was all we could ever be — friends, without any benefits. At all.

  Crap!

  “I think I’m going to miss you.” I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and saw his mouth curve up.

  “I’ll definitely miss you as well. I think some time apart will be good, though. We’ll both get to refocus.”

  I doubted I’d ever be able to focus again. Not while Father Cameron was nearby, that was for sure; and at this point, it didn’t matter how many days we spent apart. I was afraid that last night would remain engraved in my mind forever.

  “Pray that my sins will be forgiven.” I heard my voice lower.

  Father Cameron took a deep breath and lifted my chin with his finger. Instead of listening to him, I concentrated on the erotic touch of his finger. In my mind, I knew that it wasn’t meant to be. I knew that he only needed my attention, yet that little touch managed to spike my longing for him.

  “Kate?”

  “Yes?”

  “Would you do it again?” His voice lowered, and for the second time within the last minute, chills swept through my body, igniting my skin. My heart was beating hard against my chest, vibrating in my eardrums. This time, I felt his fingers on my face. Father Cameron dragged them away from my chin, up my jawline and ended the contact there.

  I opened my eyes and whispered a weak, “Yes.”

  He twisted again. I could feel his stare on me, but Father Cameron didn’t say anything. When I joined his gaze, his blue eyes captured mine and I couldn’t look away. I didn’t want to. We were only a breath away from each other, and it felt like it wasn’t near enough. When he finally leaned back, I took a sharp inhalation, his distance somewhat shocking me.

  “You need to see Father John, Kate. Talk to him, and don’t forget who you are. Not because of me or because of anyone else. You need to do it for yourself. I’m sorry I hurt you so much.”

  He stood up and walked out of the chapel. I sat on the bench, letting his words slowly soak into my heart. They stayed deep inside there as I waited for an answer. When a breeze swept through the chapel, I realized that it was too late for me. I feared that my heart had been stolen by a man who couldn’t keep it, and even if I repented, with Father Cameron in my life, my heart would sin for the rest of my life.

  Chapter 19

  Cameron

  I held the flashlight between my teeth and removed the board in the chapel floor. A few crickets chirped outside, and the moon illuminated the space through the stained-glass windows, creating a murkier atmosphere than during daytime. The round sphere morphed into a different planet each time I shifted and caught a differently colored glass pane. A mosquito buzzed in my ear and I swept my hand, trying to get rid of it. It didn’t
work. The pesky bug had been irritating me since the moment I’d left the church.

  The annoying noise suddenly quieted, and I slapped my hand over my right brow.

  “Gotcha.”

  The sting would leave a mark, but the mosquito was finally dead. I removed the same four boards we had earlier in the week and jumped into the crawl space.

  “Let see what you got there, Cortez.”

  I had planned to meet up with Brook in Tucson, but as the list of my questions about Kate’s family grew, my priorities shifted.

  Dust rose from underneath my soles. I waited for it to settle and then searched with my flashlight until I found the three tombstones.

  I reached into my back pocket for a wrench and wedged it between the granite slab, pushing on it. It barely budged. The heavy cover opposed the pressure of my hand for a few good moments, but then it finally moved. A small white coffin, about four feet long, rested in a granite compartment. I made the sign of the cross – “Forgive me, Father, for this sin” – then struck the lock on the front of the casket. It broke in half. The sound of the rusted metal falling apart vibrated around the crypt walls. I slowly lifted the lid. The chest gave out a hissing sound, as if warning me, and for the first time in years, I felt chills sweep over my arms. Inside was a small white envelope and nothing else.

  “What the fuck?”

  The wind howled above, and remembering where I was, I cringed at my own words. This wasn’t right, but I had to know the truth. I had to find out whether Kate was truly in trouble; and it looked like she could be in more trouble than I thought. I took the envelope, stuffed it in my back pocket, and shut the lid.

  I hurried back upstairs, replaced the boards, and sat down on the bench. The envelope had yellowed over time but was still in good condition. It wouldn’t have been if there had been a body in that casket instead of a few rocks, that was for sure. I tore through the seal and removed a single piece of paper.

  “My blood, my flesh, my bones.”

  The words, signed by Benjamin Cortez, squeezed my stomach as I realized that Kate’s family problems might have grown even greater. I picked up my phone and dialed my brother. He answered after the first ring.

  “Is everything all right?”

  “Yes, I need a favor. Do a background check on Hope Black.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “Kate is Hope – Hope Katherine Black. I have a feeling she’s tied to Cortez. She may be our key to finding the family. Also, check all records for a kid with the name Michael Hernandez, born in Pace, Arizona, 1981. You’ll find a death record, but I need more. Check anyone suspicious of identity theft as well as adoption agencies.”

  “That will be tougher. When do you need this by?”

  “Yesterday.”

  “Got it. I’ll call you as soon as I know something. Hey, Cam, you sound like you may need help. Should I come?”

  “No. Is the ghost still in town?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you have a contact number for her?”

  “I do, but I can’t give it away.”

  “I’m your brother, for fuck’s sake.”

  “And I don’t break promises, Cam. Not for anyone.”

  I sighed. Of course he wouldn’t. It was one of my brother’s best qualities, and that was why I could trust him with my life. If he said the ghost was safe, then I had to believe him. And if the ghost was who I thought it was, then I had to leave my trust in her capable hands.

  “All right, but you might want to put her on alert.”

  “Got ya. Stay safe.”

  I hung up, and the first ray of morning light shone over the horizon. I hurried out of the chapel and froze as soon as I stepped over the threshold.

  Shit!

  “Hey there, little buddy,” I said to the black and white furry animal. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

  The skunk lifted its tail.

  “I know you can’t understand me, but I’m the good guy here, and I really need a break. You’re welcome to continue guarding this chapel, and I’ll just leave.”

  It pivoted on its back feet, twisting its rear end toward me.

  No, no, no.

  I shuffled my feet to the left, away from him, and took off without looking back. An intense smell followed me as I sprinted toward town, praying that the little skunk hadn’t sprayed my jeans. The stench didn’t ease, though, and followed me all the way to town. When I passed the Bistro on my way to church, I saw a new car parked there, and I stopped. I quickly peeked through the window, then ducked.

  “Is this the way you want me to pay for my sins?” I looked up to the heavens before dashing for the church door across the street.

  As soon as I entered, I saw a slim figure kneeling in one of the front pews. Kate’s head was bowed and remained so until I ran toward her. She turned at the sound of my steps, her brows narrowing as I came closer.

  I grabbed her by her wrist and pulled her out of the pew and into the church nook between two pillars. “Kate, I need to talk to you. Now.”

  She twisted her wrist, checked the time, and gave me a quizzical look.

  “Yes, I know it’s confession time, but this can’t wait,” I said.

  “Actually, I have something to say to you as well. What’s that smell?” she asked. “And why are your jeans so dirty? I thought you were leaving town.”

  I looked down at my soiled jeans, disregarding her disapproving look.

  “Plans changed and I was ambushed by a skunk,” I said.

  “And you both rolled around in the dirt?”

  “No, we didn’t. Kate, you need to come with me now.”

  “Is it too early for a confession?” she asked.

  “Kate, I told you that you need to confess to Father John about our… our sin.”

  “It’s not about that, but I do need to confess now.”

  “Now is not a good time.”

  “Are you denying me a sacrament, Father?”

  I sighed. I had a feeling that Kate wouldn’t let this go until she confessed whatever was on her mind to me.

  “No, I’m not. But I need to change.”

  “This can’t wait,” She said. “If I don’t tell you what I need to tell you right now, I’ll… I’ll… I’m not leaving this church until I confess.”

  Desperate for her to come with me, I locked my jaw and let out an exasperated breath. “Fine, let’s do this. But afterward, you’re mine.”

  Her mouth opened in shock, but as much as I liked watching her lips fall apart like that, I knew we didn’t have much time. Whether she liked it or not, from now on and until we had all our answers, she was stuck with me.

  Kate’s confessions usually took less than three minutes, but if that meant that I could hold her attention for longer than a second, all the better. I sat down in the confessional and pulled the curtain in front of me closed, immediately trying to block out her voice.

  “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two hours since my last confession.”

  Waiting to hear these words each time she stepped into the confessional was like testing a man’s patience in the last seconds of an orgasm. Her smell infiltrated the space as soon as she entered, and my blood flow took its usual path south, down to my groin. I lowered my head in defeat. The next three to four minutes would be torturous.

  “These are my sins…”

  My attempts to block out her captivating voice failed, just like they had each time she spoke. Listening to her sins wasn’t fair to her or her faith, but a man like me had no choice. A man like me was forced to sacrifice his own needs. I wouldn’t betray her trust. I would keep her sins inside of me, as my own, and hope that one day I’d be forgiven for doing so. As I sat in the dark confessional, the nagging pain in my chest didn’t matter, and neither did the nuisance of a hard dick. Maybe if I stashed my desires for this woman deeper… Would that help? I doubted it.

  “I had lustful thoughts about someone I shouldn’t, Father.” The words hit my ears
like a two-ton wrecking ball, drawing my attention back to the woman on the other side of the latticed opening. Alarm bells went off in my head and I couldn’t shut her confession out any longer.

  Damn it, Kate!

  “I want to stop these thoughts, but I can’t. I… I think I love him.” She continued.

  What?

  My ears perked up with jealousy. Who was the lucky man on the receiving end of Kate’s infatuation? Pace was a small town, and rumors of a new romance should have reached me within hours. Could he be the answer I’d been looking for, to stop my longing for her? As I heard a tremble in her voice, which my ears had translated into a soft moan, I pictured them together. The image of her bending over in front of him, with her ass high up in the air turned my dick from hard, to pure steel. The idea of walking out of the church to find him and strangle him, grew sweeter.

  “How long has this been going on?” This was not a standard question by any means. It wasn’t what I’d been trained to say, but at this point, I couldn’t help it. Especially not after what happened between us. I needed to know more.

  “Six months, Father. I’ve been hiding my feelings for this man for six months.”

  At the declaration of her time frame, something stirred within me. I reached to between my legs and adjusted my crotch. I was wrong when I thought that I couldn’t get any harder. The tightness beneath my zipper intensified at my touch, and I almost cursed under my breath. At this moment, I doubted that any sins I committed would ever be forgiven. Just my thoughts alone would buy me a one way express ticket straight to Hell, right down a slide called I fucked a woman.

  “And he doesn’t reciprocate them?” I asked.

  “He can’t and he never will. He loves someone else.”

  Thank God! I saved the sigh of relief for when we were finished.

  “So this man is married?” A sudden need to meet him and assess him to see whether he was even worthy of this woman grew in my chest. I wanted to run out of that confessional, take her in my arms, and spin her around, grateful that he couldn’t love her back— at least not the way she deserved to be loved. My eagerness to hold her as she cried on my shoulder, grew. Then just as quickly, the realization that she wasn’t making sense, had set in. I would have known if there was another man. The only notable man in Kate’s life was…