Every Last Breath

by Gaffney, Jessica

  She pulled up the weather app on her phone and confirmed the snow fall until late morning. She wouldn’t make it to work in weather like this, Klaus’s driveway would be plowed in and he was not the type to dig it out.

  Maggie knew she would be stressed today, so allowing Eli to go play may be a good idea. “How’s noon?”

  “Noon would be perfect. See you there?”

  She hung up knowing exactly what she’d do with the free time. The first thing she was going to do after she got home was sort through that endless pile of mail, bills and the potential clients that had filled up her inbox.

  Eli gobbled up an early lunch, washed his face and did whatever else mom had asked, including making the bed and tiding up his room. At 11:50 he was ready to head out. He lumbered out to the car with his sled in his hand. Maggie watched as he struggled to get it into the back seat. Gosh, he’s getting so big. With a final grunt he clicked his seatbelt and shouted, “All set mom!” She poured water into Vala’s bowl and shut the door behind her. Pulling out of the garage she took note that the snow had already begun to descend. Her music played as they drove down the street, Maggie casually looked for Ben’s car, should he have returned early.

  “Will Ben be coming for dinner?”

  She turned the corner. “I hope so sweetheart. You just play and have fun. Keep your hood up, so you don’t bang your head.”

  “I will.”

  The wildlife in Colorado was spectacular. All a child needed to do was open his eyes and Bears, deer, mountain lions, snow hares, foxes and giant squirrels could be seen. “Eli, do you remember the baby bear that climbed up the tree at the library?”

  Eli’s first Bear sighting was the very first weekend they visited the city. It was a welcome sign.

  The car had barely come to a stop, when Eli jumped out of his booster seat and opened the door. “Slow down.”

  “Sorry mom, I’m just excited.”

  She kept the car running as the flurries danced through the parking lot. She made a thermos of hot chocolate to keep him warm and packed a snack in case he got hungry. In reality though, what kid was going to stop having fun to eat? No five year old she knew. But still, providing basics made her feel like a good mother.

  Maggie closed the car door and waved to Mrs. Gable. She had forgotten her first name and didn’t want to ask. These things were always so sensitive. Eli had taken off and was dragging his sled behind him as he hurried toward Thurston.

  Mrs. Gable stood by her mini-van unloading her youngest.

  “Thank you for the invite. He needed this.”

  “Oh it’s no problem. They are so hyped up for Christmas I figured this would get a little energy out of them.”

  “Have you finished your shopping?”

  Maggie shook her head, not exactly. “Well don’t forget to buy yourself something. Mom’s typically lose out.”

  “That’s true.”

  She hugged Eli and kissed him on his rosy cheek. “Be good and listen to what the adults say. And don’t wander off.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Pike’s Peak was breathtaking. Maggie had to get a closer look. She threw on her oversized coat, the one with deep pockets, and whistled for Vala. The two headed outside just as Maggie sorted through the mail. Anything interesting was placed in her pocket the rest would be trashed when she got back.

  Vala stayed in stride as Maggie pocketed a letter from NY, probably an invoice as she was still paying for her divorce. The only other interesting piece was a small blue envelope addressed to Eli. It looked like a party invite from a school friend, the post mark was Colorado Springs. She knew he would want to open it up when he got home.

  Speaking of invites, what was she going to do for Christmas? Maybe she should just ask Ben if he wanted to come by Christmas Eve; that would open up the conversation for possibilities. In fact, since he was stopping by later, she could ask him to come bake cookies. She hadn’t made them in years and her mom had a wonderful recipe.

  Maggie swallowed hard when she remembered what happened when Jack came to her mother’s. Eli was just a baby. She and her mom were in the kitchen kneading the batter and laughing when Jack wandered in. He had been drinking all day, nothing hard, just beer after beer. When he looked at Maggie, she recognized the darkness in his eyes. His entire face had changed, as if his anger had morphed him into a different form. He leaned up against the doorway and just watched her. Maggie felt his cold stare as if he were hunting her in a game.

  “Jack, how’s work going? Maggie’s told me that you…,”

  “Do yourself a favor don’t listen to a word she says,” he sneered, the hate dripping off his lips

  Maggie’s shoulder’s tightened. She held onto the counter as he drew near.

  “You’re a lying little snake, aren’t you?” He moved around her like a slithering venomous reptile. “Spreading more bullshit to your own mother, like the true bitch you are.”

  Her mother spoke up. “Jack, whatever you thought you heard,”

  “Get your coat, we are leaving.”

  Maggie composed herself. She had been telling her mom about the changes in his personality and how quickly they came. But she never imagined this type of display. She was completely embarrassed.

  “She’s not going anywhere until you calm down.” Her mother stepped between the two.

  Jack slammed his fists on the counter beside Maggie. “It’s all right mom. We have a long drive ahead of us today.”

  Her mother stood there with a look of shock. “But we haven’t even had Christmas dinner.”

  “Another time,” she sighed. Maggie’s composure was stoic and methodic, as she had learned to be.

  She had revisited that episode only once during a group session at a women’s shelter. Whenever she envisioned standing up to Jack she also foresaw his reaction. Even in her sleep, she wrestled with him.

  Vala stopped and stared into the woods. Maggie took a few steps before realizing she had day dreamed to Christmas past. The woods were silent— an eerie silent, like in her dream. She closed her eyes, putting her faith entirely in Vala. She listened to the clank of the random birch branches as they mingled in the soft wind. The snow had stopped falling an hour earlier, leaving only a dusting by the house.

  As she stood in the forest, she breathed out slowly, exhaling any fear that her past had brought upon her. Two more deep breaths and she was almost clear of it. Just then a Black hawk lifted off a branch, cawing its way across the woods. Maggie jolted. The surprise caught her off guard and her pulse heightened. Hyper vigilance or not, what caused her to be so brave to walk this far? She put the mail back in her pocket and trudged uphill.

  When the house came into view, Maggie surveyed the backyard. Snow had gathered around the posts of her neighbor’s fence. Eli loved to sled down the hill but after three or four runs, Maggie was usually exhausted from the incline. The altitude was over 9300 feet, so the air was thin. When she had enough, she would head inside and watch from the basement door or sit outside beneath the second floor porch. Ben however, would have a blast with Eli. She smiled at the thought of them hanging out more. Eli needed a role model and the fact that she trusted Ben made him all the more perfect for the job.

  With a grin painted across her face, she stamped her feet on the basement mat and prepared to unlock the door. The wind picked up and Maggie heard the rattle of aluminum. She saw a crushed another can of 404 beer toggling between a chair and the outdoor bin where Eli kept his toys.

  With lightning speed she ran to the front of the house and opened the garage door. She ripped off the trash can lid, and dug through the garbage to the debris Ben picked up two nights ago. There it was. And entire pack of beer cans. She hauled the garbage to the curb and dialed Ben. Her hands were shaking. She paced back and forth with Vala by her side. Her thought wandered to Eli, had Jack followed her to the sledding hill was he there with Eli? She ran inside the house to get her wallet and keys. Rushing through the kitchen she swiped the mail
off the counter and searched for the manila envelope from her attorney. She tore it open, realizing it was not an invoice.

  Scanning the letter, she read the opening sentence, Maggie it is with great regret I write to inform you that your ex-husband Jack has been released from prison. The letter fell to the floor as she whipped around and stormed out to the car. Ben’s voicemail picked up, and she sent an emergency text. With her eyes on the road she sped toward town, praying Eli was safe. She called Thurston’s parents, but no one answered. Pounding her fists on the steering wheel, she laid on the horn and swerved around oncoming traffic.

  Maggie flew up the pass and took a right in town as she zoomed farther up towards Pike’s Peak. Two miles and the turn off to the park would emerge. She prayed loudly asking God to protect her son. She dared not call again, then the phone rang. It was Ben. She pressed talk and was too frantic to explain what was happening.

  “Ben!”

  “What’s the matter?”

  Her tears blurred her vision. “Jack’s out. He got out. He’s here.”

  “Maggie, are you sure?” he asked in disbelief.

  “Yes, my attorney notified me today.”

  She slammed on the horn and passed a delivery truck in the slow lane.

  “I’m on my way.”

  Maggie tossed the phone to the passenger seat and pulled into the park. She scanned the parking lot for the maroon minivan, but most of the lot cleared out. Where were they? Maggie tried not the panic. Had she missed their call?

  She ran out of the car yelling his name. She rushed down the hill, passing the remaining sledders, asking anyone if they had seen a little boy in a blue jacket.

  She shouted over and over, “Eli, Eli. Eli where are you?”

  Some parents headed her way but no one had seen him. She asked about Thurston and the family he was with. But no one knew anything. She spun around and headed back up the hill.

  The peak was clouded over with the snow storm. The roads would get icy in less than an hour. She sped out of the lot, and raced into town. She redialed Ben, though her fingers barely dialed. She shouted into the phone. “Eli’s not there. He’s not there. He vanished.”

  “Maggie breathe. Where are you?” He did his best to calm her.

  “I’m at Skyview Park. Eli was invited to go sledding. I dropped him off at noon.”

  “Did you call the parents?”

  “Yes, I called. I’ve been calling. No one is answering.”

  Maggie came to the light. As the snow started to thicken. Her wipers washed away the snow as her defrost warmed the window. “Please God, help me find my son.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  The police arrived at Maggie’s home in under five minutes. A detective from the Springs had already been notified of her ex-husbands release and Maggie’s lawyer was doing everything he could to pull some strings.

  The driveway looked like a crime scene as Ben consoled Maggie. He started a fire and kept her warm while the police tracked the yard and used their dogs. Vala stayed perched by the window behind the kitchen table. An officer from the Springs was going to the Thurston’s home to see if the boy was with the family and there was some sort of misunderstanding. Until that was ruled out there was nothing to do but wait.

  Maggie kept her eyes on Vala. The dog never made eye contact, she just watched as the men scoured the property and traipsed through the woods. She was the only one who knew what actually happened around the house. She’d know if Jack was there.

  “Do you think she’s seen him?”

  With lips trembling, Maggie looked at Ben. “I’m afraid to answer that. Because if she has, it means he’s been here, to my house. Then this is not a nightmare, it’s real. And my son may be gone forever.”

  He leaned over and held her against him as she sobbed slowly into his chest. The dispatch radio kept clicking as the detective made his way through the house. He had taken down the number to the school, teachers, playdates, anyone who might have seen Eli or had contact with his dad.

  The neighbors started gathering in the street, the phone kept ringing. Claire called twice, her texts now buzzing in every five minutes. “Have you found him?”

  Maggie chucked her phone across the room. “Where are they?” she screamed.

  Detective Brant stood before Maggie. “We’ve swept your computer and there’s no trace of a bug.”

  She nodded.

  “And you’re sure you have kept off all social media, there’s no way he could find you?”

  “I’ve been very careful. This was planned, I knew what to do.”

  “What about friends or relatives.”

  “No. No one knows where we are. Not even my mother.”

  “You’ve seen the movies Maggie. He can track anything. A noise in the background, a discussion about the weather. Car records, taxes, an email.”

  “No. I closed everything.”

  Ben interrupted. “What about your publisher? Isn’t someone in accounting still sending you a check?”

  “Yes, but they know not to give him any information. He may not have called them, stating he was your husband. He probably had an alias and a well thought out plan.”

  Maggie’s head hurt. “Look, I don’t see how any of this is going to help me get my boy back.”

  Maggie picked up her phone and dialed Thurston’s parents again. As she thumbed over her phone’s screen, she looked at the photo. She had cancelled Jack’s credit cards, and even closed down her old accounts. She did all of her shopping locally, and paid cash. She thought she left no trace. But wait, she recently ordered photos and had them sent to her mom. Jack knew which company she used. That was the connection.

  Maggie was frazzled, every nerve seemed to be on alert and Ben was her only reason for not completely losing it.

  Detective Brant had been on the phone with her attorney. With Maggie’s need to constantly change her phone number; her attorney had been unable to contact her, other than mail regarding Jack’s release. Fortunately, he was able to give the location and date of Jack’s discharge, so the officer’s could build a case.

  Maggie sat on the couch staring at the smoldering fire. Ben rubbed her back, trying to comfort her. Her voice was weak and her eyes red. “Why is this happening? Where is he?”

  An officer spoke with the detective in hushed tones and the two approached Maggie. Her throat knotted up, in fear of what they found. She looked up at Detective Brant as he spoke. “There was a half empty 404 can sitting outside Eli’s porch. We found a second one, cracked open, but full by the front door.”

  Maggie began to shake. “No. Please don’t tell me he was here.”

  “There are foot prints matching the one’s we found in the snow, leading through the woods, down the hill.”

  “Down the hill?” Ben seemed shocked. “But I live down the hill. I have dogs, they would have found something.”

  The police officer took one look at Ben’s feet and asked, “What size shoe do you wear?”

  “A twelve.”

  “May I see the soles of your shoes?”

  He lifted them up, muddy soles and all.

  “Thank you.”

  Maggie looked at the cop like he was crazy. “I’m sorry ma’am, but with the tracks in the backyard, you never know who may be out to get you.”

  She looked up at Ben, frightened by the new possibility that he had done this to her. Was he the one playing games with her? She pulled away from him as her stomach swelled in fear. Who could she trust?

  She nodded at the detective and bent forward. Ben couldn’t be the one responsible for all this. It was just her mind playing tricks on her. He was there for her all along; with the missing wood, the mall. Then again, that may prove that he was always at the right place at the right time. That couldn’t be a coincidence.

  “Maggie, I need to ask you more questions about your ex-husband.”

  “What kind of questions?”

  “We just want to be sure that we can protect you the bes
t way possible. If you think he’s coming for Eli then we need to inform your son’s school and any caregivers. You’re boss will need to know, and perhaps the neighbors so they can keep a look out. Is there anything that might help us to recognize or learn more about him; should he be in the area.”

  They already had his arrest photo, but other than that, she gave them his tattoo descriptions and a list of scars on his head, which he kept shaved.

  “If he were to come looking for you, would he harm you? Is he after your son?”

  Maggie’s throat nearly closed. Wasn’t that the whole reason they were here, to protect her. Of course Jack wanted to hurt her. She turned him in.

  She dropped her head into her hands and let the tears flow. “This can’t be happening. He was here just a few hours ago.”

  “Maggie if you’re son is in any danger, we will find him. We can have look outs at all the border check points. I need to know if Eli would recognize Jack, as his father?”

  She had worried about that but how could she be sure? It had been three years since Jack laid eyes on either one of them. She had changed her hair, lost a little weight and Eli was bigger now. He was a friendly kid, but he knew better than to go off with strangers. She’d trained him to use a password, and she had told him his daddy died. “I don’t think so.”

  The detective made eye contact. “Now I know this is going to be hard, but try to make things look as normal as possible, in case he is watching you. Fear entices these kinds of behavior. It’s best to not look rattled.”

  Maggie shook her head.

  Ben walked away. “I’m going to make us something to eat.”

  Normally his presence put her at ease but right now, she felt violated, controlled and scared.

  The hours lagged on as every possible scenario played out in her mind. Jack wasn’t one for creature comforts. He was a survivalist. For all she knew, he could keep Eli penned up in the woods in some makeshift shack and be living off the land.

  Detective Brant took a phone call and Maggie looked out the window. She let the heat from her tea try to bring her comfort, but her son was missing. What comfort was there?