Living The Dream

by Guy Lilburne

  “I’m ever so sorry Sloany, but we have got to go. Something has just come up.”

  “Well, I’m not very happy about that. We’ve just ordered three steaks and I’m not paying for them.”

  Terry put 3,000 baht on the table. It was more than enough to pay for everything.

  “Thanks Terry. I’ll do my best to eat all three. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone our little secret, but don’t leave it too long in case I let something slip.”

  Terry and Ting left hand in hand, leaving the bouquet of flowers on the table. Sloany ordered another beer.

  “They have just had some special news,” he said to the waitress when she brought the beer. “I think they want to be alone. Have you got some more pepper sauce for these steaks? They’re a bit dry.”

  Pom had told Simon the tragic news about Ting. Simon decided to wait until Terry said something to him, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the two of them. It was a Saturday morning. Simon’s day off and a big domino day. It all just felt a bit different somehow!

  By mid-morning everyone, except for Terry, was in the bar. Ping had decorated the place. Together with her lady boyfriend, Nit, they had designed a new menu. The food really was first class and, for the first time in the bar’s history, people were going in just to eat.

  Norris, Simon and John were gathered around the domino table.

  “Three full English breakfasts please, Sloany,” shouted Norris across the bar.

  “You’d better have a look at the new menu. We don’t do Full English anymore. It’s now called the ‘All Day Breakfast’.”

  “Oh! You are cooking breakfasts all day now?”

  “No. It’s still only available in the mornings.”

  “Why call it an ‘All Day Breakfast’ then?”

  “Because I’m charging an extra 10 baht for it. It’s business, Norris. Now do you want it or not?”

  “Go on then. Give us three of them.”

  They were still eating the All Day Breakfasts when Terry walked into the bar. Simon could see the pain etched in his face, but nobody else noticed. He sat down at the table. Simon patted him on the hand and Terry flicked his chin out, as a sort of thank you. Sloany went over and thumped Terry on the back.

  “Don’t worry. I haven’t ruined your surprise. I knew that you wanted to be the first to tell everyone in your own way. So, come on then. When’s it due and do you know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?”

  Sloany looked around at the others with a big grin on his face. He nodded towards Terry.

  “He’s got a big surprise to tell you all. I’m the only one who knows so far.”

  “I’m not being funny Sloany, but please stop. Ting isn’t pregnant. We are not having a baby and I mean that most sincerely.”

  “What was all that about last night then?”

  “Ting has got cancer.”

  “Testicular Cancer?”

  “How can she have testicular cancer? She’s a woman.”

  “Well, you never know. She is very beautiful and they always say that the most beautiful women in Thailand are the lady boys.”

  “Ting told me last night that she has lung cancer and she only has six months left to live. I’m still in a state of shock. I really love the girl. I look at her everyday and think ‘Where have you been all my life’.”

  “She wasn’t born for most of it Terry, but don’t worry. You’ll get over it.”

  “I don’t think I ever will, Sloany.”

  “I’m so sorry, Terry.” Simon squeezed his hand.

  “I don’t know what to say, Terry. I’m sorry for both of you. FUCK DEATH BOLLOCKS.”

  “I’m sorry too lad. I really liked her. We all did. If there is anything at all that any of us can ever do……well you know what I’m saying.” Norris couldn’t stop a tear trickling down his cheek.

  “Thanks Norris.”

  “So, that’s it then? She is definitely dying?”

  “Yes, Sloany.”

  “Well, she always did have a terrible cough Terry. We all noticed it. Why didn’t you notice her cough?”

  “I did. I noticed it when I first met her. She told me that she had always had it. She said that it was a nervous cough.”

  “I’d be nervous if I had cancer. It’s a terrible thing you know. A very painful death after months or sometimes years of suffering – tiredness, shortage of breath, terrible aches and pains, excruciating pain under the rib cage, coughing blood. Did you not notice any of these things, Terry? You could have saved her if you’d taken more notice.”

  “She told me everything last night. I did notice some things, but I didn’t put it all together. She always said it was nothing. Please stop talking Sloany.”

  “Oh, I’m not having a go at you as a caring husband Terry. I just think that I would have taken better care of her. I think we all would have noticed all this stuff.”

  Terry hung his head down. It wasn’t in shame. He just didn’t have the strength to argue with Sloany.

  “Sloany. You are talking bollocks. Just shut the fuck up!” said Simon.

  “Simon, I’m not saying anything bad about Terry. I’m on his side. He’s one of my best mates. I’m always on his side. When he came back from Khanchanaburi with a dose of clap and started spreading it all over the city there were many blokes angry with him. They said that he wasn’t fit to sleep with pigs, but I stuck up for him. I said he was. Do you know why? Because he’s my mate! I stick up for my mates. All I’m saying is Ting is dying and it’s very sad, but life goes on. There are plenty more pretty girls out there. You can’t flog a dead horse. When you fall off the horse you have to get straight back in the saddle. There is more than one of your favourites in a tin of Quality Street.”

  “Please stop, Sloany.” Terry put his hand up. Norris could see that he was getting upset and decided to take control of the conversation.

  “What Sloany is trying to say is ‘There are plenty more dead horses in the sea’. You’ll be alright Terry. It’s just going to take a long time and a lot of heartache. We all love you, matey.”

  Ping walked out from the kitchen and went behind the bar for some more tea towels.

  “Hey Ping,” Sloany shouted across the bar. “Terry’s wife, Ting, is dying of cancer. Only got a couple of months to live.”

  “She’s got six months actually.” Terry pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose as indignantly as he could. Some of the other customers who had come in for breakfast looked around. They didn’t know Terry, but they felt instantly sorry for him. Ping came trotting round from behind the bar in her high heels - her hands hanging limply from her wrists. In her camp and dramatic fashion she knelt down and put her arms around Terry. She kissed him on the cheek leaving a bright red lipstick mark in the perfect shape of her lips.

  “I always here for you.” She wiped away a pretend tear from her eye and trotted back to the kitchen.

  Terry stood up.

  “I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I have to organize. I don’t know what to do to make things easier for Ting. I don’t even know how I am supposed to be feeling right now. Maybe I should go now!”

  “Terry, just relax. You don’t have to be brave. You can shout and scream. You can cry. You can fall down in a heap on the floor and tell God what a bastard he is for doing this to you and Ting. Do whatever you want. We are all on your side. FUCK SHIT.”

  Terry had been in a state of shock since Ting had told him the news. He hadn’t cried. He hadn’t recognized how he was feeling. There was something in what John had said that released the trapped emotion and, suddenly, it poured out of him. He wasn’t sobbing. He was wailing like a fatally injured animal. Tears poured from his eyes and mucus streamed from his nose. It wasn’t pretty. It was raw emotion of the most painf
ul kind. Sloany put his arm around Terry’s shoulder and guided him towards John.

  “Give him a hug John. I don’t want to get snot all over my shirt.”

  John stood up and pulled Terry towards him. He held his head into his shoulder and patted him on the back.

  “Let it all out Terry. We’ll all go through this together. Well, as much as we can my friend.”

  There was a stunned silence. A heavy sadness hung over them like a cloud. Sometimes in life there are times when you don’t have to say anything. This was one of those times. They sat in silence as a group - each with their own thoughts. Each sharing Terry’s pain.

  In the weeks and months that followed, Ting’s cancer did affect everyone in the group. Pom gave up her job at the radio station so that she could spend more time with her friend. She was going to leave Pattaya 205FM anyway once the baby came along. Norris lent his car to Terry so it would be easier for Terry to take Ting around. Ping cooked fantastic Thai food and took it round to Ting herself every day. Sometimes she would stay and do Ting’s hair and make-up. John and Simon made sure that Terry wasn’t on his own and gave him all the emotional support that he needed. Sloany bought a big domino trophy and put it up on a shelf in his bar. It was engraved ‘The Ting Davis Memorial Domino Trophy’. He nicknamed it the Ting Tong cup. It was pointed out to him that Ting hadn’t died yet and it was inappropriate to have the cup on display in the bar, so he reluctantly took it down and put it back in the box.

  Life went on with the knowledge that they were all going to lose someone they all loved. Ting herself stayed at home more and more. She read magazines and watched TV. Terry made her as comfortable as he could. They talked about everything every day. Everyday their love grew deeper with the experience they were sharing.

  Sloany organized a lot of social events to raise money for Terry and Ting. He had bingo sessions, darts and domino competitions and quiz nights twice a week. Ping made a collection every night after the lady boy show. Sloany didn’t take any of the money. This time it just felt different. All the money was counted and saved and recorded in a book.

  Ting and Terry could even talk about her dying and plan the funeral service. Along the way there were lots of tears shed by everyone, but there was also a lot of laughter and happiness. There was a lot of love.

  Saturdays were still special days when the whole gang would get together and play dominos. They would laugh and joke and talk. As the months went by and Ting’s impending death got nearer Terry would update the gang as to her condition, as well as talking about happier times.

  “She always says that her most special day ever was our wedding. She loved that day because it made her feel like a princess. She always tells me that, as a kid in the orphanage, she only ever wanted to grow up and feel special. She just wanted to feel special for a day and she did.”

  “She is special Terry. She is special to a lot of people. The work she did at Father Ray’s orphanage was really appreciated,” said Simon.

  “She still works for them. She works on the internet putting up photos and raising donations for the place. You are right, she is special.”

  “I’ve got an idea,” announced Sloany and everybody groaned.

  “This is a good idea. I think we should give Ting one more special day.”

  “You mean like renew our wedding vows or something?”

  “Well, actually, I was thinking more of a parade with all the pupils and staff from Father Ray’s. I’ll get hold of a horse and carriage and Ting can lead the procession. Ping can do her hair and make-up. Simon and Pom can buy her a beautiful dress to wear. She has done a lot for this city and everybody knows her. She has been in the newspapers and stuff. If Simon announces it on his radio for next Sunday, I’m sure people will turn out to make her feel special. Just clap her when she travels around the city. Do a circuit of Beach and Second Road. We could make it a charity event for Father Ray’s. Keep it all a secret from Ting and surprise her next Sunday. That will make her feel special one more time.”

  “My God, Sloany! You are right.” Terry pushed his glasses up along his nose. “Do you think we could arrange all that in eight days?”

  “I’m sure we can, if we all chip in. I’ll sort out the Police and the coach and horses. Ping and her friends can get all the bars involved. Simon can announce Ting’s special day event on the radio and get people to want to line the streets. We can try, Terry.”

  “What do you think Simon?”

  “I think it’s a great idea Terry.”

  “What can Norris and I do, Sloany? FUCK PARADE.”

  “I’ll get some leaflets printed up and you two can get them delivered to shops and businesses around the city. ‘One More Special Day for a Very Special Person’.”

  The dominos were put aside and detailed plans were made for the following Sunday. Phone calls were made and received. People were mobilized. By the next day, 1000 ‘One More Special Day’ leaflets were delivered to Sloany’s bar. When he went to pay he was told that they had been donated by the printing company. On Monday morning Simon made an announcement on his show;

  “I’m sure that you all remember the amazing double wedding last year when I married Pom and my friend Terry married the beautiful Ting. Well I have some very sad news to share with you all. Ting is going to die soon from cancer. There is nothing else medically that can be done, but there is one thing that the people of Pattaya can do. We want to give Ting one more special day. She has done so much to raise money for Father Ray’s Orphanage. She has given so much of her time. Maybe it was because she came from an orphanage herself or maybe it was just because she really is so special. You have all seen her on TV and in magazines. I think you all know what a good heart she has. She is going to die very soon at the age of 23. I’m asking you all to turn out this Sunday morning at 10 am all along Beach Road and Second Road to applaud her, as she is taken round in a horse drawn carriage. She will be followed round by a band of drummers, some dancing lady boys and everybody from Father Ray’s orphanage. I’m not asking you to give money, although it’s nice if you can. Just be there to show a special person that you care too. Thank you.”

  Simon made the announcement every day, although he worked on it and refined it for the radio.

  Ting had no idea, but when Ping and Pom turned up on Sunday morning and did the makeover, she knew something was happening. She had been very lethargic for weeks, but somehow she seemed to get energy from somewhere for the day. The timing was precisely accurate. She was taken in the car to The Sloan Square Bar, where the horse and carriage was waiting. She saw the marching bands from the local schools all dressed up and waiting in side Sois. She saw all the beautiful lady boys making last minute adjustments to bras, hair and make-up, ready to put on a show. She saw all the staff and pupils from Father Ray’s. She saw all her friends from the Sloan Square Bar standing with Terry. They were holding up a banner which read ‘The Sloan Square Bar thinks that Ting is Special’.

  Ting put a delicate and now somewhat frail hand to her mouth. She laughed and cried. She felt joy in her heart. Ping retouched her make-up for her.

  “Don’t cry. You have to go around city now. Many people come to see you.”

  “Who did all this?”

  Pom put one of the ‘One More Special Day for a Special Person’ leaflets in her hand.

  “They all did it. It was Sloany’s idea and everyone helped. Terry wanted to make you feel special for one more day.”

  “He make me feel special every day.” It was too much and the tears flowed again and Ping had to retouch the make-up again.

  Terry looked up at her from the crowd. He was amazed at how beautiful she looked, even now in the last stages of her deadly disease. She looked down and saw Terry. He smiled a shy smile and waved to his beautiful wife. She laughed and smiled and waved back. She blew him a kiss that went str
aight to his heart. The drumming bands started up and the coach and horses pulled off. The domino players and customers from The Sloan Square Bar followed the coach. A drumming band followed them, then the lady boys, a brass band, local schools and more bands. Finally there was Father Ray’s Orphanage staff and pupils. It was a huge pageant. There were a lot of people in Pattaya Tai, but, when they turned into Second Road, the crowds were massive - standing five and six deep, applauding and cheering Ting. Hundreds of home-made banners were being held aloft.

  ‘We love you Ting Tong’ - ‘You will always be Special to us’- ‘You make everyone’s day Special’ - ‘We think you are Special’ - ‘Derek Brown and his wife and kids from England all think you are Special’.

  Ting waved and smiled and the crowd waved and smiled back. Collection buckets were filled with cash and carried along with the parade. When they turned onto Beach Road, to make their way back, there were even more people. Huge banners were strung along the road.

  ‘Mr. Khan’s Indian Take Away thinks you are Special’

  ‘Everyone from Central Festival thinks that Miss Ting is very Special’

  ‘To a Special lady from The Hilton Hotel’

  ‘We love you Ting from everyone in Walking Street’

  The last banner simple read;

  ‘You have made every day Special for me. I love you. Terry xx’.

  The day was filled with love and happiness. Everybody had a great time. After the parade Terry took Ting home. Everyone else stayed for a party at Sloany’s bar.