Princess Rescue Inc

by Chris Hechtl

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  Later an ecstatic Nate presented his findings. “I saw some mention of them in the library scrolls but the … Oh it was so conflicting and disjointed!” He threw his hands up. “I thought it was an old wives tale and dismissed it for a while, and then I ran across the Andreas decree from a few years ago... that made it more real. Then this...” He waved. The imps were in a chamber without a window. There was a wooden post within, tattered leather strips hung from rings on the ceiling and bars.

  “It's called the Ymp room,” Nate explained to Ryans. He watched the imps capering around the room. A few had gone to the deepest darkest recesses and hidden there. Others were exploring their new surroundings... The groundlings were rolling in the rags on the floor. A few were industriously digging at the stone floor and not getting anywhere. Their cages were stacked near the door. None now wore diapers or chains.

  “Tool users?” Ryans asked to be certain. They watched a winged imp bounce across the hard stone floor to a wooden tree shape and then climb with greater agility up it. One of the imps had a pebble and was using it on another rock, banging it overhand with both hands. It paused to look up at them and then cheeped before getting back to more serious business.

  “Oh yes. I'd say above chimps too!” Nate grinned. “I'm just getting a preliminary look. I'd like to get scans of them of course. And more video.” He hefted his camera. “For a being so small they're so intelligent!” He watched as one plucked at his pant hem. “They're mammalian. But they're omnivores,” Nate said. He shook his head.

  “I take it that's a problem?” Ryans asked.

  Nate scowled. “Well, they should have larger stomachs to process the raw food but they don't.”

  “They were starving Nate,” Ryans sighed, watching Zara nurse one of the critters. “Hungry little devils.” He watched as another tugged at her sleeve looking up at her, while a third tried to climb into the sleeve and up her arm. She was laughing. One of the little critters wiggled on its perch and then jumped. Its middle arms spread and skin flaps opened. It glided down to land next to another of the creatures. They head butted, crooning and thrumming and then tussled, mock growling at each other in a play battle.

  “Gliders?” Nate asked, astonished.

  Zara looked up. “The tree dwellers are. The groundlings live in warrens,” she explained. She picked up one of the babies and extended the middle arms. There were no skin folds. The baby protested after a moment. She stroked it with her finger tips, and cooed at it. It settled down with a chirrup and then purred as she rubbed its shoulders.

  “The groundlings, have fur. The tree dwellers do as well, but lose it as they get older until all they have is the ring on top,” she said. She petted one. It tried to nip her but she flicked it with a finger and it toppled over. “I thought of them as elves when I was young,” she said softly. She looked away. “The tree dwellers don't like to be on the ground for long. They have longer, thinner legs and arms so they can grip the trees.” She waved to the beady eyes above. A raucous screech and then chitter answered her attention.

  “Mother made the most darling costumes with me for them. I had three. We dressed them up all the time.” She looked a little tearful. Deidra patted her shoulder.

  “I thought they were a protected species?” Nate asked. Ryans gave him a look. He frowned.

  “They are,” Zara nodded. “I... was interested in how they get them after one of mine became ill and died. Mother and I went to the keepers.” She looked up, suddenly tense and grim. The imps around her scattered. “They use fires or dano lizards to get to them. The warrens are identified and some of the holes are covered in nets. Then the hunt master sent a dano lizard down the main hole and the clan was driven out into the nets. Those that are trapped in the tunnels with no escape, the lizards eat.”

  “What about the fire?” Nate asked stroking an imp baby that had landed on his shoulder. It burped and then pooped on him. He grimaced at the dribble of white and then shook his head.

  “The forest imps are harder to get. They find a nest near the edge of the forest and then cut down all the trees around it... then either climb up to get them... or send up a lizard... or set fire to the tree. The imps panic and jump to safety... but without a tree nearby they have to go to the ground and waiting nets.”

  “Ah,” Nate nodded, face set. From his look he was as happy about the idea as the princess was.

  “That's not the worst of it,” Deidra said grimacing. “I had some as well for a time. Father took them away when they got loose and wreaked havoc for weeks,” she grimaced. “The wild ones are separated. The young are sold; the older ones go to breeders or are fed to the beasts.”

  Ryans nodded grimly. “It figures. Unfortunately a similar thing happens in Africa and South America, so don't blame yourself.”

  Deidra looked up and nodded. “When they're young and helpless they're cute and cuddly. When they get to a certain age they want to breed. They become aggressive and mean.”

  “Ah,” Nate nodded, rubbing his chin. An imp baby saw him and climbed off his shoulder to get onto his arm. He chuckled as the baby started to nestle on his arm, looking out at the others, then with a yawn changed its mind and burrowed into his shirt. “Right cute little devils,” he murmured, cupping the ball of fabric to keep it from going too deep. He winced as claws touched his skin. “No mate, I'm not a Sheila, nursing from me won't hey, there, no, no...” he tried to edge the little tyke higher and away while looking like he was in obvious pain. Ryans snickered.

  “Yes. Most of the wild ones are gone now. They're only in the border lands. Father told me of the nests... they weave complex nests and tie branches together to form a network of paths in the sky. Quite beautiful he said.”

  “It would be. And a remarkable feat of engineering for any creature,” Nate acknowledged as he pulled the little Tyke out and then cupped it. It pouted at him so he stroked it. “I'd love to see it.”

  “So would I,” Zara sighed. “But when I became upset I told father. He looked into it and then banned the ownership and capture of imps. We'll have to return these to the wild come spring... If we can find clans that will take them.”

  “What happens if we can't?” Ryans asked. Nate grimaced.

  “I'd say they would be driven off or killed right?” he asked. Zara nodded looking upset. A baby patted her leg.

  “Or we can see about putting them in the zoo for study,” Deidra suggested. The zoo was a new concept for the natives, something Nate had suggested. A capital Zoo and museum were under development now, with plans currently underway. Hopefully by spring they could break ground... if they finally agreed on a proper location for each. Right now both projects were still up in the air over that. Zara looked hopeful. “We can set them up in the crown reserve when they get older. I'm not sure how well they'll fare, but we can always leave food for them if necessary.”

  “Ah, that's true,” Nate nodded looking thoughtful.

  “And of course you like the idea because you can play with them and study them some more,” Ryans said crouching and feeding a pair tidbits. They took the crumbs and licked them, then washed themselves once each was nibbled.

  “I would like to study the little beggars some more. For my paper,” Nate said, looking solemn, then he smiled, unable to keep his enthusiasm in check. “And yes, to enjoy their antics.” He chuckled as an imp jumped from its perch to Ryan's shoulder and then scrambled down his back to try to burrow in the crack of his pants. Deidra carefully extracted it, laughing the entire time with the others as Ryans rubbed his aggrieved rear. The imps in the room froze, and then chittered with them.

  Nate's eyes went wide. “I do say, yes indeed. They're in need of further study,” he said firmly. He nodded. “Yes indeed,” he murmured thoughtfully.

  Ryans smiled slightly. It sounded like the biologist now had a lot to think about. Between the first ever planetary zoo, the world beyond that had barely been explored let alone scientifically cataloged
... Conservationism, yes indeed Nate sounded on the fence with a lot on his mind.

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  “Interesting,” Ryans said outside the room. They waited for Zara and Nate to join them.

  “Why?” Deidra asked, crossing her arms. Ryans made certain they didn't have any stowaways before they started off.

  “The imps are indicative of a pre-sentient species your majesty,” Nate said looking up as the guard closed the door. “Has anyone attempted to study them in their native habitats?”

  Deidra frowned, glancing to Zara. “Our cousin Jasper did... or died trying I believe.”

  “Ah. My condolences on your loss,” Nate said nodding. “Did they...” He turned to the room.

  Zara shook her head. “Oh no, from the descriptions it was a basilisk. Father said the camp was shredded,” Zara said frowning. “Do the basilisks eat...?” She glanced towards the door.

  “I'd say so, though they'd be no more than a snack for them.” Nate said nodding. “And of course they've got to catch the little buggers. Frisky little devils,” he chuckled. A guard chuckled as well. They turned to him.

  “That they are,” he bowed slightly to the royals.

  The Queen smiled. “You know of them Bubba?”

  “Indeed I do your majesty,” he rumbled. He bowed again. “Mother called them brownies or wee ones. She took them in after a forest fire left them homeless near our home one year. Father found them and brought them back. Thought he'd sell them at the fair but when mother took a shine to them all he could do was sigh and throw up his hands,” he shook his head, smiling wryly.

  Ryans chuckled at that. Deidra gave him a quelling look then nodded to the guard. “And you grew up with them?” she asked sagely.

  Bubba nodded. “Aye. They're smart. Truly smart your majesty,” He bowed again. She waved her hand slightly to dismiss the bowing and curtsying. “Mother nursed them back to health. They saw us kids using the mezzanine bucket and did their business in it after a few days. It made a right mess when they did it from the rafters though,” he grimaced.

  “They were up in the loft?” Zara asked.

  He nodded again. “Oh aye. Took care of the pests and scared away the rats and mice. When mother dumped the mezzanine in her garden pile they learned to go out there and do it there when the weather was good. When they got bigger she'd leave a bowl of porridge or milk to keep them out of the stores.”

  “Ah,” Zara nodded thoughtfully. She tapped her manicured finger against her chin in thought.

  “We loved to play with them as kids. Right lot of fun. Got a whooping once cause I fell out of the rafters one time. I spooked the pigs don't you know,” Bubba said wryly. He shook his head and smiled slightly. Zara did too. “And then the burgermeister came. He'd heard mother's garden was the best in the village. See the brownies had been going out at night and weeding it and eating the bugs for her.”

  Nate scowled. “Now you’re pulling my leg...”

  Bubba shrugged. “No, honest sir. Honest. They'd go out there and eat the weeds and bugs... even kill rats or mice and leave them on the front stoop for mother the next morn. Da got a big kick out of it. Called them mother's little little helpers. They even cleaned up after the animals when we brought them inside for the winter.” He smiled. “They helped groom the family branack, picking nits and bugs out of its hide right good and proper.”

  “So the burgermeister came...” Zara said looking a little worried.

  Bubba nodded, eyes downcast. “Oh yes, ah... he came all fat jowls and fine dress...” He paled and glanced to Deidra. “Your pardon my lady.”

  She chuckled softly. “None taken.”

  “Right so he'd heard about this woman's garden and came. He made pleased noises over it until mother told him of the brownies in the loft,” Bubba said, hurrying to the point. He shook his head.

  “He pounded his fist on the table till it shook the food off. I fell over scared and me sibs cowered under the table. The big man looked up when he heard a chitter to see the eyes gleaming at him.” He shook his head.

  “I told him that the brownies were no harm, right warm at night cuddled up to us, and a help around the house and garden. He backhanded me as was his right and then got up shaking his fist at them. I looked up from the floor to see him open his mouth and young Scamper turned and lifted his tail...”

  Deidra chuckled. “Yeah, I can imagine what happened next.” Zara pointed to her eyes, the guard shook his head. She pointed to her mouth and he nodded, then opened his and pointed down it. She immediately giggled, bent over, hand over her mouth. Deidra's eyes gleamed.

  “I take it he was none too pleased by their... contribution to the debate?” Nate replied, chuckling.

  “I'd say not. Young Scamper lived up to his name to well,” Bubba grinned. “The man left and never returned.”

  “Too right,” Zara said, fighting giggles. She shook her head and dried tears with her hanky. Ryans smiled to Deidra.

  “I then appoint you both to care for our wayward waifs. Work together and make sure we do not lose any,” Deidra said, suddenly looking regal. Ryans snorted as he took in the pose she was presenting.

  Zara and Bubba bowed and then smiling walked off talking about imp care. Nate followed, listening and taking notes.

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  “That was good. I'm glad she got a laugh in and that she's settling down. Keeping her occupied and amused should help her through the grief,” Ryans said nodding.

  “Aye and she's got a lot to learn, come early spring she's off to Duluth to see the country and deliver the first train of goods.”

  “Yeah, about that, I think we're going to need a herald to announce her...”

  Deidra frowned then nodded. “Tis her right though I am loath to let others know of her presence. It could be dangerous.”

  “Yeah, ah. I was going to also suggest a couple of other things, a second set of guards, and a pair of groups. One to go ahead of her and check the security out and get the lie of the land... and people... and the second to act as a reserve. Oh, say a couple groups of Silent Knights with the latest Imperium weapons.”

  “Wise. I shall pass the orders on,” she said thoughtfully.

  “I thought you'd see it my way,” he murmured, arms around her... “Now since the suns are going down, it's getting chilly.... how about us keeping warm...”

  Her eyes lit with delight and her arms wrapped around him. “I thought you'd never ask,” she murmured wickedly.

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  “Knock, Knock,” he said, tapping at the door the next afternoon. He'd promised to check in since Deidra was busy.

  “Hang on... okay. Make it quick though,” Zara answered. He pushed his foot in first, pushing away a baby. Another cocked its head at his shoe then attacked the shoe laces. He managed to make it into the room and close the door without any escape attempts.

  “Busy?” he asked, amused. Zara was seated on the floor Indian style. A book was in front of her. Occasionally she would use her thumb to flick a treat into the air. The gliders would swoop down and catch it mid air.

  “No. Well, not much. Just going over this introduction.” She sighed as she shut the book before an over inquisitive charge could tear the pages.

  “Kinda hard to study in here,” he said watching a pair tussling. They were fully engaged, with mock growling and fluffed fur. Zara reached over and stroked one with a finger. The fight paused as they both looked up at her and crooned. She smiled down at them. He noticed she smiled without her teeth, keeping it simple. The imps did the same. They had expressive faces, he'd seen them smile, pout, laugh, and look intensely curious or angry. She set a pair of treats down in front of them and then watched them pick them up and nibble them vigorously.

  “Hungry little devils,” he smiled, arms crossed.

  “They can be at this age. The trick is not to overfeed them,” she said not looking up.

  “Why? They turn into gremlins?” he teased. She look
ed up with a scowl.

  “Sorry,” he held up his hands, trying to indicate he didn't mean anything by it. “Old movie reference actually,” he explained. She gave him a long look then shook it off with a sniff.

  “No they can over eat and get lethargic or make themselves sick,” she said. She tossed a treat up into the air. A glider tried to grab it, missed and ended up in a roll on the floor. It jumped up and flicked its tail, then went into a serious grooming session.

  “You're not fooling anyone mate,” Ryans snorted. The treat had fallen on his foot; his erstwhile wrestling partner immediately abandoned his shoelace to attack the treat.

  He looked up at the branches above to see the imps looking down at him cocking their heads inquisitively. One looked ready to poop. He stepped to the side. “Don't even think about it bub.” He growled as the little bastard seemed to shift and try to follow him with its rear.

  The others looked at him, then chittered a high pitched chitter of anxiety. Zara snickered. “Not a smart thing, to growl. They see it as a threat.” She pointed to the groundlings, who had all abandoned the open areas to hide in the burrows of rags. All sorts of eyes were peering out at him from under things.

  “Sorry,” he said shrugging. A moment later a droplet hit his forehead. He sighed. She laughed.

  “Cute. Really cute. Shampoo it's not,” he said, trying to keep his tone light. He shook his head as he wiped at the mess with a handkerchief she handed him.

  “What are you reading?” he asked.

  “I'm catching up on my math... and looking up some primate material Nate recommended,” she said. She hefted a three ring binder that had been under the book. Its contents looked new.

  “Cool. He got you curious?” Ryans asked.

  “Yes. The whole tool using ability. I've got to read this just to keep up with what he's saying,” she grimaced.

  “Trust me, I've been spoon fed most of that my entire life and I still have trouble keeping up with him... let alone some of our other scientists,” Ryans replied and then grimaced.