The Golden Key: A Quest for Freedom Episode Two

by Marvin Wilmes

  Wayne and Speed exchanged glances.

  “I was seventeen at the time, and my mama was dead set against me going out with a Marine. When Sue—that’s my girlfriend——told me Phil had a friend he wanted to set me up with, I jumped at the chance to get out of the stuffy old house and away from Mama’s nagging. To get me out of the house, Phil had to put on a scarf.” She bubbled with laughter. ““Laws, you should have seen him.”

  “I can imagine,” Wayne said.

  “It was too dark to tell the difference from the house,” Debbie continued. “I told her I was going out with Sue and her mother. Roger hid in the backseat.””

  She paused for the longest time.

  “Did you love Roger?” Wayne asked.

  “I know this sounds stupid and immature, but it was like he had been waiting at the edge of my dreams for my entire life. All I had to do was open the door. It was love at first sight, for me, anyway.”

  “I think I’m beginning to figure why it was for Roger, too,” Speed interjected.

  “Anyway,” Debbie continued ignoring the obvious compliment, “Phil saw right away we were hitting it off, so after the Moody Blues concert, he drove Roger’’s car into Overton Park. Phil and Sue got out of the car, leaving us alone. Roger really opened up to me.”

  Wayne listened intently as Roger’s story came to life through this woman who had come to California to answer the questions of their love.

  ***

  “Beautiful evening, isn’t it?”

  Roger came out of his daydream. He had been so involved in his trip down memory lane he hadn’t seen Paul slip up behind him. How long had he been here thinking?

  “Sure is. Mom is going to disown me. I haven’t even been to the house yet. I was just here remembering something long forgotten. Ever done that?”

  “Yeah. In fact, just this morning,” Paul said somberly. “Do you have demons in your past, too?”

  “Well, sort of.” Roger leaned back against the fence as he sized up his brother. “Is something bothering you?”

  “Just look up into the sky, Rog? Have you asked yourself where you fit in, what you are doing here? By the way, how are you doing?”

  “Oh, I’ll make it, I guess,” Roger said, somewhat upset at his brother for changing the subject so slyly. “I have looked at the sky and wondered. My memory was of a couple months ago…someone I met in Tennessee.”

  “Oh?”

  “You said Anita was on her way to Memphis to tell me it was over and that she wanted to tell me in person. Well, I sat down and wrote ten Dear Jane letters before that night and threw every one of them away.” Roger patted Paul on the shoulder. ““You aren’t going to tell me what’s bothering you—and you could never understand my problem——so why don’t we go to the house.”

  “Yeah, let’s go. Oh, blast it, Rog. In all the excitement, I keep forgetting to tell you. Donna and I are getting married.”

  “Congratulations,” Roger said as he shook his brother’s hand enthusiastically. “I sensed as much.”

  “Oh come off it. When?”

  “At my going-away party.” He smiled. “I think I also sensed the beginning of the end for Anita and me. I was so darned selfish. I just let things get out of hand. I didn’’t really ask Anita to marry me in the first place, she simply found the ring and put it on. I’ve been wearing a mask and didn’t really realize how fake I really was until Anita’’s accident occurred…and I was in the midst of falling for someone else.”

  “What?”

  “Oh, it was nothing. A flash in the pan. My friend Jack liked that I had wheels, and that he had a ride to Gallaway, Tennessee, to see his girlfriend. So he set me up on a blind date. I turned my back on him—and someone else—the night I learned about the accident. Keeping secrets doesn’t help anyone does it?”

  Paul’s mouth dropped open as Barbara called from the house, “Boys, there’s cake and ice cream, but you’re not going to get any unless you come up here and be sociable.”

  “Coming, Mom.” Paul turned to Roger. “I’m not looking forward to this. Dad’s upset about my attitude with Mark and Anita—like to him an engagement ring is for life. But you?”

  “Isn’t an engagement supposed to be for life?” Roger didn’t wait for Paul to respond. “I’ll clear that up with him, don’t worry. He can’t stay mad at you if he knows it was our decision to break the engagement. Hey, we should open up some of Dad’s homemade wine in the basement and celebrate both our engagement events.”

  “Now you’re talking.” Paul laughed. “Hey, Rog……about that person you met?”

  “Ah, that’s nothing. I shouldn’t even have brought it up. I left that memory behind in Tennessee, and that’s that. Anyway, I’m going to be a world traveler now, right?”

  “Right.”

  As the brothers walked to the house, Roger found himself wishing Debbie was in his life now, but Anita’s accident had ended that. Life was so full of ironies. She was coming to see him to break up with him, and she succeeded in causing him to lose Debbie as well.

  There was no sense crying over spilled milk.

  Chapter Four

  “Well, I hope I’ve answered your questions.” Debbie sheepishly took a drink of the soda Speed had purchased for her.

  “Debbie, this wasn’t an interrogation session,” Speed said. “We’’re just concerned friends of Roger’s, and you were one big surprise.”

  “I realize I may be wasting my time—and it may be over for good—but you will let Roger know I was in town, won’t you?”

  Wayne started to protest but he suddenly felt the sting of a kick to his ankle from under the table.

  “Yes, we’ll be glad to,” Speed said.

  “All right, it was nice meeting the two of you.” She turned away quickly and fled the restaurant as if suddenly regretting what she had done.

  Wayne took a drink of his coffee, but grimaced. It was cold. Debbie’s story had totally engaged him.

  “I don’t know how we got here,” Wayne said. “This is none of our business and we don’t even know what’s going on with Roger. He seems to be confused about what he wants. I had no clue about any of this.”

  “I know. Can you imagine, though, she flew all the way from Tennessee to California on a gamble that he would even want to see her again. She has some serious fantasy issues. Roger has probably long forgotten her. I would call it a serious case of infatuation.”

  “Which would explain why Roger never told us about her, plus we don’t even know if anything she told us is true.” Wayne sighed and ran his fingers through his shaven head. ““But what if he met Debbie in the midst of thinking he was in love with Anita, and he turned back to Anita out of a sense of honor—instead of love—because of the accident.”

  “I suppose that’s possible,” Speed said.

  It was strange, but Wayne found himself wanting it to be so. “If that’s the case than what Roger’s been suffering from is the guilt of betrayed love.””

  “True, but I lived with Roger for a month and I’m convinced he loved Anita. You saw his face light up when I told him she had come out of her coma.”

  “You would do the same for a friend,” Wayne said as he was beginning to understand this stranger who seemed destined to be his friend. “For life.””

  “What?”

  “Last night Roger made a toast that she ‘live for life,’ not for him. Life had always been the ultimate victory.”

  “We’ve got to stand by Roger whatever happens and help him sort it all out,” Speed said. “I guess when you get right down to it, it’s his heart.”

  “I know, but something really bothers me.”

  “What?”

  “Look at us. Two grown men trying to figure out a stranger’s motives in the game of love. I don’t know about you, but I’’m suddenly feeling some emotions I can’t explain. I seem to be on this rotating Ferris wheel, which I have no control over or can’t get off of. It all began when I met Roger.”” He
paused to light a cigarette. “Speed, I still think if you care too much you’ll end up getting burned. I’m caring too much.”

  “Let’s go get a beer. This coffee is the pits.”

  They left the restaurant without leaving a tip. Wayne knew they were running from themselves and feelings that were hard to understand and even more difficult to cope with. He wanted to believe in something fresh and wonderful, but the Corps and his past experiences just wouldn’t let him. Why should he care about Roger’s heart at all?

  That night, before he went to sleep, he pondered his friendship with Roger Wilson, who had uncovered a part of him he’d always been scared to look at—his soul.

  ***

  Mark stood at Anita’s door once again, as perspiration ran down his forehead. What if there were no feelings left? What if his love for Anita was just an illusion? How would this meeting come off? What would he say?

  He took a deep breath as he pushed on the door. Time seemed to slow down to an unbearable pace. As the door fully opened, Mark stood face to face with Steve Barlow. A rush of panic passed over him. The last person he needed to face now was her father. Once again, the talk he needed to have with Anita to cleanse his conscience was delayed.

  “Mark.”

  The sound of her voice wiped away all his fears. He ran to her side and took her hand as he kissed her softly on the lips. He didn’t care about her father’s presence anymore. Not only were the feelings still there, but she was alive.

  “I love you, Mark Meyers. I love life.”

  “Well,” Steve said, clearing his throat, “I know when I’m not wanted. Excuse me.”

  “Dad, you don’t have to go.”

  “No, you two have a lot to talk about.”

  “No, sir,” Mark said as he turned to face Steve. “I think you and I have a lot to talk about first. Anita, do you mind? I’’ll be right back.”

  “Of course not.”

  “Bye, sweetheart,” Steve said as he kissed his daughter’s forehead.

  “Bye, Daddy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Mr. Barlow,” Mark said as the door to Anita’s room shut behind them.

  “There’s no need for any apologies, Mark. Before I walked into her room this evening, I was ready to give you bloody hell. I’m tired, and my daughter is alive. Let’’s get to the center of it all. Roger’s joining the Corps changed a lot in all our lives, and it’s time for some airing of honest feelings and to stop denying the truth. There were just too many secrets being kept and secrets only lead to disaster.”

  “Well, I guess you could say that.”

  “We all get carried away, Mark. No one was really asking Anita what she wanted. In fact, nobody had really taken the time to ask either you or Roger. I guess I am a little old-fashioned. To me an engagement is almost the same as being married, but in this case, I think it was Roger and Anita’’s way of seeking security. She told me Roger has accepted the situation.”

  “Yes.”

  “Take some advice from a very tired old man.” He chuckled. “If you ever decide to marry our daughter, be sure about your commitment before you announce it to us. I don’’t think the wife and I can take another shock like this.” He smiled as he patted Mark’s shoulder. “Now get in there and quit running.

  “I have been doing just that, you know.”

  “I know, but so were Roger and Anita. I had a long talk with our daughter.” He glanced back at the room. “I hadn’t realized we had fallen so far out of touch. She’s become more emotionally mature in the last year. She has also changed, and that’s a good thing. She had already let go of Roger when he left. She feared losing him and didn’t want to commit to any decision which could threaten the future of a relationship, but you definitely complicated matters for her.”

  “We simply talked.” Mark fidgeted from foot to foot. This conversation could be with his future father-in-law, why did that thought pop into his head?

  “Ah yes, I remember.”

  “Remember?”

  “The game of love. The games people play with themselves and each other. People are afraid to reveal their innermost selves and needs, afraid to be totally honest. They are even afraid of commitment. You made a big one when you stayed away to protect the value of your friendship with Roger.”

  “Yes, I’ve learned a lot about friendship lately,” Mark said. “I guess she also told you I was against her going to Memphis.”

  “Yes, and that you wanted to wait to tell Roger yourself the next time he was home on leave.”

  “Mr. Barlow—”

  “Just call me Steve.”

  “It’s been a two-way street. I’m trying to find my way as well.”

  “I know, you will.” With that Steve turned and walked away from him.

  Mark suddenly realized he was standing in a hospital hall and his fear had subsided. It was no longer an institution of pain, rather one of healing.

  He returned to Anita and began his relationship anew. They discussed subjects he had always avoided…including his fear of hospitals, his guilt about betraying Roger’s trust, and his love for Anita.

  Mark was no longer the cowboy concerned about his image.

  After he left and returned home, he found he couldn’t go to sleep. Something stirred deep within him. He gave into the urge, got out of bed, and penned these words:

  All my life I’ve traveled life’s road,

  Trying to find a happy abode.

  All my life, I’ve looked for love;

  So that my soul could fly like a dove.

  There were twenty-five stanzas in all. He wrote “Anita’s Song” at the top of lyrics. He brought out his guitar, then played with the chords.

  As the sun came up in Blair, Nebraska, it shone down on a cowboy sleeping with a guitar on his chest.

  It was a new day for him. Anyone who knew him hardly noticed, but he had found his dream and his love.

  ***

  Roger slept fitfully in Paul’s guest room. He awoke to a slight breeze and reached to scratch the itch on his nose.

  He sensed a presence in the room, and as his heart pounded in his chest, he struggled to get up and turn on the light…to dispense with the ghostly fear gripping him. As he did, he saw a monarch butterfly flying gracefully around the room.

  He didn’t know why, but the fear was quickly replaced with a sense of peace as he gazed upon the beautiful creature. When he opened the bedroom door, the butterfly flew above his head and disappeared into the darkness of the hallway.

  He shrugged and rubbed his eyes as he yawned. The last seventy-two hours had been long and taxing. He reflected on how it was the end of a perfect Thanksgiving weekend.

  Once back in bed, he immediately fell into a deep slumber.

  ***

  Last night had gone well for the Wilson family, Roger thought. He had explained his reasons for everything to his parents. He got them to see the split was a mutual agreement, and his decision, not Paul’s.

  The family had mended some bridges and opened avenues of communications, which had been rusted over through the transitions as the brothers trekked into adulthood. Roger had left feeling good about the evening as he gained an inner strength in his life he hadn’t previously known.

  Roger shared with Paul that he was preparing to give the golden key back to Anita. Paul immediately protested. Roger couldn’t understand why it should matter to him.

  “Are you really sure you want to give it back, Rog?”

  “Of course, I’m sure. Why, is something bugging you?”

  “No.” Paul averted his eyes.

  “Listen, Donna thinks there is and I’m starting to think so, too. Come on, I’m your brother, you can level with me.”

  “There’s nothing to level with. You’re leaving soon, and we should all get together and let the tension out of all the strings, don’’t you think? We’ve all been through a lot. Your issues haven’t exactly been a picnic to deal with.”

  “All right.” Roger dropped the
subject out of respect for his older brother.

  First the Army and now the Corps. Life never let anything stay the same. There was so much of each other’s lives they could not seem to share anymore.

  “Well, I better get over to the hospital,” Roger said as he took the golden key from his neck, then placed it safely in his pocket. “See you for lunch.”” Roger left his brother in silence.

  He knew something was bothering Paul because of his somber reflection and moodiness since he had been home. He didn’t think it had anything to do with him, and Donna had confirmed his suspicions that Paul hadn’t seemed to be himself the past few days.

  He hoped Paul would soon open up to him before he had to return to California.

  ***

  Paul went to the phone and dialed. A woman answered after two rings. He gathered all his strength to jump past the point of no return.

  “I’d like to make an appointment with Father Augustus, please. Tell him—tell him I’m ready to talk about my hell.”

  There was a long pause on the other end of the line. The silence infuriated him. “Hell, lady. You know, the place on the other side of the world they call Vietnam. It was hell,” he shouted into the phone.

  The feelings passed as quickly as they came. “He’ll know what I mean.” He hung up the phone as the scene replayed again in his mind, the scene he had never shared with anyone before.

  It had happened on a day that changed his life forever. He had quit believing in God that very day…and everything else that was pure and wholesome.

  A part of him had died.

  It was the day his best friend and comrade in arms, Jack Alvarez, had been killed. The day the world had went on as if nothing of any significance had happened. No one seemed to care. He had survived and managed to bury the memory deep within him.

  He couldn’t understand why, in the past week, it had begun to haunt him again when things were going his way. He had gone to the church yesterday morning to search his soul. Father Augustus sat next to him and asked what was on his mind.

  The opportunity to purge his soul had been there, but he let it go. As he began to leave the church, Father called after him.