The Golden Key: A Quest for Freedom Episode Two

by Marvin Wilmes

  “Hell comes to us in many ways. Paul, was Vietnam your hell?”

  He had kept right on walking without giving the priest an answer. It was as if the man of the cloth had peered into a sacred hiding place he had guarded for years.

  Last night, he tossed and turned. He dreamt of a real hell. He heard the bloodcurdling scream and saw the dark man descend on him with a sneer on his face. He was laughing at him, taunting him, making him wish he were dead.

  When he finally woke in a cold sweat, he knew he must do something.

  Paul went to the old trunk where he had stashed odds and ends, then pulled out a picture. As he lifted it out, he saw the St. Christopher’s medal. He picked it up and studied it. It was Jack’s. He had stolen it from his body. He swore it was one thing the enemy or the army would not get.

  He gazed at the picture as he wiped the tears from his eyes. The two friends were smiling. They thought nothing could ever separate them—but something did. A grenade.

  He shut the trunk and left for the church with the medal and the picture. He didn’t expect any miracles, simply someone to share his nightmare with.

  ***

  Paul poured his story out as Father Augustus nervously pressed his hands together in an obvious attempt to make sure he allowed the story to flow without interruption.

  As he related the story, Paul paced the floor furiously. Finally, he sat down.

  “Is that all?”

  “Isn’t that enough?”

  “Yes, yes,” the priest quickly said with a sweep of his hand. “Tell me, am I the first one you have told this story to?””

  “Yes.”

  “May I venture to ask about your faith in God since you were discharged?”

  “Oh, no you don’t, Father.” Paul jumped up. “Don’’t go laying a bunch of theology on me.”

  “I’m not going to, Paul. You still haven’t answered my question.”

  “I haven’t set foot in a church since then, except when I had to, if that’s what you mean.”

  “Paul, relax. You are not here for me to determine your churchgoing habits. You are here to make sense of God and the order of your world. The first step in that process is to turn it all over to God. The second step is to share your story to those closest to you and allow the healing to begin.”

  “Why?”

  “A man can be very lonely if he keeps things locked up inside. The reason you are having this haunt you is because you feel a need to release it. You are getting married, I take it?”

  “Yes.”

  “She knows nothing about Jack?”

  “Just in passing conversation.”

  “Well, you have taken a brave first step in coming to me. The next step would be to share this burden with those closest to you, especially your fiancée. Let them help you carry the burden. You will find the load a lot lighter.”

  “Tonight would be a good time, while my brother’s still in town.”

  The priest nodded. “Now, back to your faith. May I ask, why did you come to this church to purge your soul?”

  It was a checkmate. Paul couldn’t escape the question. The priest’s eyes narrowed. They were the eyes of a sly fox tricking his prey.

  “Faith in God was a big part of Jack. I guess it was a legacy he wanted to leave me. He was always trying to convert me to his way of seeing things.”

  The priest nodded. “I won’t try then. It seems Jack planted good seed.” He smiled. “I do want to leave you with some thoughts before you go. You see, I was thirty-five and had served as a priest for ten years before I came to understand our Lord and Savior in a way I had never known before. It came about through a crisis of faith, and I must say, we all think we have to be perfect and are never good enough for God. But God doesn’t make trash. He is always welcoming.

  “The Church is rumbling with change today and everyone is looking for direction. The Lord said follow me, not the dictates of man. I believe the Church will find direction and has a purpose of being a foundation for many people.” The priest sighed. ““Mature faith, Paul. That is the type of faith you are searching for, or should I say it is searching for you. It is God. Maybe God has brought you to this post-traumatic moment in your life because it is time for you to find mature faith, just as your friend in Vietnam evidently did.”

  The priest got up, sat on the desk, and took Paul’s hand. “You are operating on childhood faith, which crumbled when Jack died. It was not strong enough to survive life’s greatest challenge, letting go of those we love in death. I understand, Paul. Mature faith, that’s what I came to learn about. It comes at no certain age. To some, it never comes, others have had it for years and do not even know it. Just know that I understand your soul’s torment more than you know.”

  As Paul looked into the priest’s eyes, he was grateful for a friend he could rely on. He wanted the words of this holy man to be true, because if they were, it meant he didn’t have to live up to impossible demands he was placing on himself.

  “Go now and share all of life, Paul. I wish you God’s peace.

  All of life. The words reverberated in Paul’s mind. All of life. Somehow he sensed God was knocking on his door. He wanted desperately to answer. One way to do that would to tell Donna, Mark, and Roger the truth. How could they understand the pain he had been through if they knew nothing of the night Jack gave his life so Paul might live.

  “Thank you, Father,” Paul said as he rose to leave. “But please, tell me exactly what mature faith is.”

  “Paul, I cannot tell you that. The answer lies within yourself, within your heart, within your soul. I am here for you. Remember that.”

  “I will.” Paul was left wondering where this priest had been when he had needed him the most. It didn’t matter now because the door had just opened to his soul, which might actually allow him to fully escape his survivor guilt and his nightmare.

  ***

  “A toast to Roger’s last night on this crazy weekend,” Mark said as he lifted his glass.

  The foursome was seated at Paul’s living room table enjoying what was turning into a very laid back party. All four were feeling the glow of camaraderie after the events that were beginning to change their perspective on life.

  “Hear! Hear!” Paul said.

  Donna reached out and put her hand in Paul’s.

  “Thank you, thank you. You know, I must admit the apple cart sure spilled this weekend, didn’t it, Mark?” Roger said as he slapped his best friend on the back.

  “Hey, cut it out.”

  “Ha. I just wish Anita could jump out of her hospital bed and join us, but she is alive, so why don’t we make a toast to that.”

  “Sounds great,” Donna said. “I notice you still have her key, Rog.”

  Roger smiled at Mark. “Why, yes. We decided to change the symbolic nature of the key to one that opens the doors to life.”

  “You know, Rog, I’m glad we got things cleared up. It was foolish of me—”

  “Forget it, Mark. All is forgiven and forgotten.”

  “Okay, enough about Anita,” Paul nervously interrupted the increasingly irritating banter. “I have been patiently waiting for us to get settled so I can share something with you that my brother reminded me I shouldn’t try to carry alone.” Beads of sweat formed on Paul’s forehead as he felt his heart beat faster in his chest. This was harder than the priest had indicated it would be.

  “It’s time for me to open up. My brother and Mark have been after me to get something off my chest this weekend, and I think now is as good a time as any.”

  He gently squeezed Donna’s hand. “I need to share it with you, too. I have a toast of my own to make.” He gazed into Donna’’s eyes. He saw a sadness he wanted to wipe away. Yet, he knew he couldn’t turn back now. These were his friends now. His moment to share had arrived.

  “I don’t want to spoil this celebration—”

  “No, honey, you won’t. What is really on your mind?”

  “Well, first I w
ant to make a toast to Jack Alvarez.” Paul tried to understand why he had waited so long to do this. Jack was a part of his life. Being dead didn’t mean the memory of Jack was gone forever.

  “To Jack Alvarez,” Roger said as he lifted his glass. “Paul, is he the one who has been getting under your skin lately.””

  “Yes.” He turned to Donna and gently caressed her face. He remembered all over again why he had fallen in love with her. “It’’s time, honey. I need to tell you the story.”

  She nodded.

  “We were in Nam on patrol. Jack and I were very good friends. We helped prop each other up in good times and bad times, and we helped each other survive the war. There were four of us scouting the front lines. A boy of about seven passed us. He was selling fruit along the jungle trail. We were all amused at the absurdity of it all. We humored him and bought some fruit, feeling thankful for sane human contact.

  “It happened so fast. He reached under the fruit and pulled out a grenade. He dropped his basket and pulled the pin and threw the grenade as he ran like a deer in the opposite direction. I was momentarily stunned—frozen—unable to react, not sure what I was witnessing. None of us could process what he had just done.

  “None of us except Jack. He tackled me in an instant as my feet crumpled from under me. I recuperated just in time to see his body flying to the ground…over the grenade…and I felt a scream rise in my throat, but there was no sound.

  “The scene was not like in the movies. If Jack hadn’t acted when he did, I probably wouldn’t have lived to tell you this story. He didn’’t land on the grenade before it blew. Instead, he shielded it. It blew him at least four feet in the air. The blast knocked the other two soldiers off their feet, and I covered my head as debris from the blast showered me from above.

  “Everything was a blur for me after that. As Corporal Jones was radioing our unit for help, I looked up just in time to see the boy jump into the jungle. I scrambled to my feet, my anger raging as I took off after him, determined to kill him.

  “I don’t know how much time had passed, but suddenly I heard a round of gunfire behind me. As I turned to go back to check on my buddies, I realized our patrol was the victim of an ambush. I hid in the jungle for a couple of hours until I was sure there was no more movement or human activity.

  “I ran back to the spot knowing the worst had probably happened. It had. Jones and Bayak were both dead.” Paul could no longer hold back the tears. “And I lived, damn it to hell, I lived.”

  Roger reached his hand across the table to comfort him. “My God, Paul, we’re here for you. It’s all right. We’re just glad you shared.”

  “Don’t you get it! They’re dead and I’m alive!”” Paul glanced as each stared at him mutely, not knowing what to say. How could they know? They had never seen war.

  Donna gently laid her head on Paul’s shoulder. She didn’t say anything. It gave him great comfort. Now that he had unloaded, he felt a sense of release.

  Mark lifted his glass. “Hey man, to Jack, not only your best friend, but also the person who saved your life. We are all indebted to him for that, Paul.”

  “I’ll drink to that,” Paul said as he leaned into Donna for more support. Father had been right. Keeping secrets was lonely. He felt renewed and loved.

  ***

  The next morning, Donna smelled the fragrant roses as she gazed out the window in Anita’s hospital room. She was thinking about how this was turning into an unforgettable year. A short year ago she hadn’t known the other four, but Paul had changed that.

  “Aren’t they beautiful?” Anita said.

  “Yes,” Donna said as she turned and hurriedly put them back on the table, “but, you look more beautiful. Doc calls it a miracle that you’’re making such progress. Tell me, is love your secret?”

  Anita laughed. “That could be it. Now tell me, why are you so dolled up and where have you been?”

  “Somewhere I never expected to be, that’s for sure, especially after last night. Paul called at seven this morning and asked me to go to church with him.”

  “What’s so surprising about that?”

  “It’s out of character for the Paul I fell in love with. Last night I found out there was still a lot I didn’t know about him. It’’s scary.”

  “Well, does that look like Mark?” Anita nodded toward the roses.

  “No,” Donna said. “That’s just it. We’’ve all evolved, changed, moved from where we were a few months ago. That really scares me. Does anything ever stay the same?” She paused as she looked at her engagement ring and nervously twisted it around her finger. “Anita, before I met Paul there was a nightmare in his life.”

  “What was it?”

  “His tour in Vietnam. Last night he told this horrid story about his best friend’s death over there. He’d never even hinted to me before that there was a deep, unresolved conflict raging inside. Something in him is emerging, but he’s still not being totally honest with me.”

  “Donna, relax. Don’t you think maybe he has to work it all out for himself? I never knew Mark had songwriting abilities until yesterday.”

  “Mark Meyers? You have to be kidding me?”

  “I’ll tell you a secret of my own if you promise not to tell anyone.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Yesterday when Roger went to give me back the key, I couldn’t take it. A man named Zeke gave it to me. He was this little old man with balding white hair. So cute. And my meeting with him was so bizarre I tried to forget about it. He came from nowhere, and I haven’’t seen him since, but when I came out of my coma, I felt so grateful to him for my life.” She paused as she bit her lower lip. “Promise me you won’t laugh.”

  “I promise,” Donna said as tears began to well up in her eyes.

  “My coma was somehow a spiritual experience. I can’t explain it, but life is so different for me now. It’s so precious. Roger suddenly comes up and steps aside for Mark. Donna, I’ve looked at that key and thought how it must be responsible for Mark, me, and bringing miracles into all our lives. I know it has.”

  Donna sat down on the bed next to her friend and hugged her.

  “I don’t know what’s ahead, but I know Zeke was someone special.” Anita looked toward the nightstand and nodded at the open book. “Donna, I’ve found God.”

  Somehow, the idea of a jolly elf named Zeke and the key were easier for Donna to accept, but Anita’s last statement seemed to come from a foreign land. Donna looked deep into Anita’s eyes and noted the peace in them. She picked up the Bible, which lay by the roses and read aloud the words underlined in red.

  “‘And God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.’”

  She smiled at Anita as she recalled the morning events at church. Father Augustus had taken Paul’s hand in a firm grasp, and Paul said he was still looking. She hadn’t understood the event then, but now she wondered.

  “Did Father Augustus visit you?”

  Anita shook her head.

  “I’m afraid I don’t understand everything,” Donna said as she got up and walked to the window. A battle was raging within her soul.

  “Donna, I believe my life is like those roses and just beginning to bloom. I have found two loves now in my life, and I still wonder about Zeke. Do you remember the going-away party?”

  “Yes. Roger passed out.”

  “I think it happened when he touched the key when I was handing it to him. It was at that point I saw a falling star. I knew that was Roger’s star. Please don’t tell anybody any of this. They’d probably haul me away.”

  “Don’t worry about that,” Donna said. “I wouldn’’t dare. It seems something caused everyone to be open with each other this weekend.” She sighed. “I hope our friendship never ends, even after we’re married.”

  “Married? You’re the one getting married, not I. After that last episode with Roger, it’s going to be a while before I make that kind of commitment.””

  “Really?”
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  Anita blushed. “It’ll be up to Mark.”

  They both laughed as Donna reveled in Anita’s happiness. It was the same face that two days ago had almost been painted in death.

  ***

  “How are you doing?” Jack asked as he handed Zeke some broth.

  “Just fine, thank you. I sure will be glad when you go back to heaven. You are worse than an old mother hen.”

  “You know as well as I do that Abar is not going to let Roger get to Christmas Eve if he can help it.”

  “I know, I know. Ye of little faith.”

  “I agree with you wholeheartedly. Why go through with all of this? I just don’t understand.”

  “In everything, there is a season.”

  “Whoa!” Jack raised his hands in protest. “I know the letter I wrote to Paul has the answers I should have right now. I guess what you are trying to say to me is that God does things this way so they will have more impact, right?”

  Zeke rolled his eyes. He wondered if God experienced headaches like he was now getting dealing with the frailties of the human race.

  Yes.

  The church shook with the answer as Zeke chuckled. He truly did love the Old Man.

  Chapter Five

  “Jeff. Jeff.” Roger slowed his pace as he ran. He was out of breath. He must have run a good half mile. Jeff Browning certainly proved his running ability. Roger leaned against the rock as he reached for a cigarette he didn’’t light. He wiped his brow and sighed as he recalled with a smile how he had come to land here in California on what had quickly become a coming-of-age adventure.

  Roger had requested Cherry Point, North Carolina. His life might have been more peaceful if the Corps had sent him there like he had asked, but a secretary had fouled up on the orders of his specialist class. Whoever had made the request for Cherry Point got El Toro and vice versa.

  There had been nine Marines in his class. He had sat back as the odd man out while the other eight scrambled to change their orders. He had decided that it might not be such a bad idea to go to California and allowed fate to have its way.

  Was this the reason?