Ravensong

by ML Hamilton

  “And I’ll probably say it again. I’ve never seen this side of you.”

  Joshua exhaled. “I know.”

  Robert didn’t respond for a long time. Elena’s laughter carried to them in the booth. “All right,” he said finally, “I’ll keep my mouth shut and I’ll even help you keep it a secret, but you’ve got to be more careful.”

  “Done.”

  “Whew!” Robert said, “I didn’t think I could be more worried, but now I am.”

  Joshua smiled.

  * * *

  Joshua crawled onto the end of the bed, moving toward Elena. She laughed and held out her arms as he dropped into them. He kissed her and then braced his head with his hand, smiling down at her.

  “Are you ever getting out of bed, woman?” he said, reaching up to pass a curl through his free hand.

  She ran her finger along his lower lip. “It’s your fault I’m exhausted.”

  His smile widened and he tickled her. She squealed and tried to squirm out from under him, but he pinned her with his hands, then lowered his head and kissed her. She returned his kiss, slipping her hands from his and wrapping them around his neck.

  He drew away and traced the side of her face. “Move in with me,” he said.

  By the widening of her eyes, he knew she was as surprised as he was by the request. “What did you say?”

  What had he said? He felt a moment of panic, then it subsided. A wave of calm rushed over him. “I asked you to move in with me when we get home.”

  She eased out from under him, sitting up beside him. He rolled into a sitting position as well. “I...I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say yes. It’s simple.”

  “Not so simple,” she said, shaking her head. Brown curls spilled over her shoulders. “That’s a huge move, Joshua. Are we ready for that?”

  He shrugged. “Who knows?” His eyes narrowed. “Actually, I know. I’m ready for it.” He reached out and took her hand. “We’re good together, Elena. Why shouldn’t we make it permanent?”

  Her eyes drifted away. “Because...”

  “Because what?” He placed his fingers under her chin and drew her face back to his. “Tell me what bothers you.”

  “Nothing, except how quickly this is progressing. I never even thought of moving in with John.”

  “So? What does he have to do with anything? I’m not John, Elena.”

  Her eyes searched his face. “No, you’re not.” She drew a deep breath. “Wow! I didn’t expect this.”

  He lifted his brows, silently agreeing with her.

  She rose up on her knees and moved closer to him, placing her hands on his shoulders. He banded her waist with his fingers. “You’re serious?”

  “Completely.”

  She placed her forehead against his. “It’ll be hard to hide the relationship if we move in together.”

  “You think?”

  She laughed and bent down, catching his lower lip with her own. “You’re going to have to convince me,” she said in a seductive purr.

  He returned her kiss, sinking his hands in her hair. “I can do that. I’m good at convincing.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  He deepened the kiss and pressed her back on the pillows. “Say yes first.”

  She pulled him down to her and moved her lips against his own. “Yes,” she whispered.

  * * *

  “You did what?” panted Robert, jogging alongside him. They were running in the early morning hours down a path beside a river. Dominic was keeping pace just behind them. So far, they hadn’t encountered anyone else.

  “I asked her to move in with me.”

  Robert stumbled, but caught himself and returned to his rhythmic stride. “I’m still not sure I heard you right.”

  “You did.”

  “You asked her to move in with you? In your house?”

  “That’s the idea.”

  Robert faced forward again, his arms pumping with each step. “That’ll make it hard to keep it a secret.”

  “Obviously it won’t be once we get home.”

  “Then you’re going to have to tell Elliot soon.”

  Joshua sighed. “I know. It’s getting harder and harder to keep it a secret even now. And I feel so damn guilty every time I look at Elliot.”

  “Does Elena know he has feelings for her?”

  “I think she suspects something, but she’s never mentioned it.”

  “Whew!” breathed Robert. “What a mess. Julian’s also gonna have a fit.”

  Joshua merely nodded. That went without saying.

  “What if he fires her?”

  “Do you really think he would? He’s come to rely on her so heavily.”

  “I don’t know. He’s vindictive and if he thought it would hurt you, he’d do it.”

  Joshua dropped down to a walk. Robert eased back beside him. “I can’t live the rest of my life in fear. If he fires her, she’ll just have to find another job somewhere or take some time off. After this tour, she should have plenty of money for that.”

  “I suppose.” Robert glanced over at him. “Do you think you’re moving a little fast?”

  Joshua shrugged. “Who can tell? It feels right. I mean, when I asked her it came out naturally. Maybe there isn’t a time restriction on these things, Bob. Maybe when it’s right, it’s just right. How was it with your wife? Did you worry about how fast you were going?”

  Robert didn’t answer for a moment, then he stopped walking and faced Joshua. “No, but then I didn’t have so much at stake, Josh,” he said. He reached out and put a hand on Joshua’s shoulder. “I don’t want to hurt you, but it worries me about what might happen if this doesn’t work out.”

  Joshua looked down.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, don’t be. You’ve got a point, one that I need to always consider.”

  “I didn’t mean...”

  Joshua looked up and met Robert’s gaze, then glanced over his shoulder at Dominic. The bodyguard had come to a halt and was looking around warily, keeping an eye on the few people who had begun to show on the streets.

  “Don’t apologize. We both know what I am and what I could become again. But this just feels so right, Bob.”

  Robert gave him a wistful smile. “Then go for it. Who am I to tell you otherwise?”

  * * *

  Elena wanted to sit next to Joshua during the morning meeting, but she didn’t dare. It was hard enough not to make constant eye contact with him, let alone sit beside him without touching him. She couldn’t remember when she’d ever been this happy, which terrified her that something was bound to go wrong.

  She took a seat opposite him. He gave her a lazy look, then started sketching on a napkin as he did so often during these meetings. Elliot plucked himself down beside her.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he said.

  She could see Joshua’s shoulders tense. “Good morning, Elliot. How are you?”

  “Great. How are you?”

  “Fine,” she said, forcing a smile. She felt uncomfortable around him, especially since she and Joshua had begun their relationship.

  Her thoughts wandered to Joshua’s offer. It had surprised her so completely. She really hadn’t expected him to ask her something like that. And yet, she wanted to tell him yes. She wanted to forego her reason and plunge entirely into this relationship. She’d never done that before, but maybe now was the time. She knew what Kate would say, which is why she hadn’t called her friend yet.

  That instinct alone made her nervous. She hadn’t kept anything from Kate for years now. At any other time, Kate would have been the first one she called, even if she didn’t agree with her. Kate had made her dislike of John very clear. Still, it hadn’t bothered Elena. Why was she so reluctant to hear anything negative about this?

  “All right, people,” said Julian, moving to the head of the table. Elena felt her muscles tighten whenever he entered the room. “We need to make some decisions about this European to
ur today. We need to get some plans laid out, so we can begin booking stadiums.”

  “When is this tour going to happen?” asked Robert.

  “Right after this one.”

  A groan went around the table.

  “What? What’s the problem?”

  “We’ll have been away from home for six months already. You want us to just launch another tour again that quick. Will we have anytime at home?” asked Elliot.

  “Of course. About four months, I should think. I mean, there ain’t much happening in Europe right now, so they’re chomping at the bit for some entertainment, but we need to get everything in motion, get all the legalities taken care of, etc. I think four months is about the amount of time I’ll need to get things finalized.”

  “Well, that should give our families just about enough time to get sick of us,” remarked Ralph wryly. “God knows we wouldn’t want to stay around too long. We might get stale.”

  “Exactly,” said Julian. “Four months is more than enough time for me to see the old lady.” His eyes cut to Elena. “No offense.” He reached for a map and laid it out on the table. “I’ve marked the cities where I think we should perform.” He pointed at Paris and glanced at Elena again. “Great place to hold a wedding. We’ll be there about two nights, I think.”

  Elena opened her mouth to speak, but he was already reading off the names of other large European cities.

  “Wait a minute,” came Joshua’s smoky voice.

  Julian’s attention snapped to him like a cat after a bird. “What?” he said, making no attempt to hide his annoyance.

  “You’ve just made a huge assumption here.”

  “Which is?”

  “That we’ve already agreed to a European tour this year.”

  Julian straightened. “I think that’s already been decided,” he responded, looking around at the other band members.

  “I don’t remember voting on it,” pressed Joshua.

  Michael ducked his head in obvious discomfort. Both Ralph and Elliot looked alarmed.

  Julian leaned forward again, resting his hands flat on the table. “Well, if there had been a vote, rest assured you wouldn’t have been part of it. You’re not a voting member of the band.”

  Joshua’s eyes narrowed. “So there was a vote?”

  Julian gave a nervous laugh. “I didn’t say that there was or wasn’t one.”

  “Was there?” Joshua’s gaze made a circuit of the band members.

  “No,” said Robert. “There wasn’t a vote.”

  Julian’s jaw clenched. “It doesn’t matter. When I brought it up before, no one was in opposition. In fact, everyone viewed it favorably.”

  “I don’t remember that. I remember everyone feeling stunned by your announcement. I don’t remember any of the band members voicing an opinion either way. I can promise you I wasn’t in favor at all.”

  Julian gave a sarcastic bark of laughter. “And I can promise you that no one cares what you feel. You don’t have a say.”

  Joshua’s chin rose. “Really?”

  “Yes, really,” mocked Julian.

  Joshua rose to his feet. “Then I will remove myself from any further talk of this tour. Since I don’t have a say, I won’t be going. My contract ends at the completion of the domestic part of this venture.”

  Alarmed looks flashed around the table as Joshua headed for the door. He opened it and walked through, followed closely by Dominic. Once the door shut, the room exploded in protest and concern. Elena lifted her eyes to Julian’s face. He was glaring at the door with such rage that she wondered if he thought it might burst into flames.

  * * *

  Joshua compressed a chord on the piano, then he stretched out his fingers and played the melody of the tune he was working out in his head. He hadn’t begun to write it down yet, but it was nagging at his consciousness. He could feel the tension in his shoulders slowly abating as he played, lulling him into that delicious feeling of creative calm. Closing his eyes, he let the melody wash over him, his fingers gliding over the keys.

  He wasn’t sure how many minutes passed, but gradually he became aware of another presence. He opened his eyes and saw Michael leaning against the piano.

  Joshua’s fingers grew still on the keys and the hum of the notes drifted into silence.

  “I like it,” said Michael. “I can already hear the drum part.”

  Joshua smiled at him. He especially enjoyed collaborating with Michael. He never wanted to overpower Joshua’s melodies and he always got the mood Joshua was trying to convey.

  “Thanks. I’m just trying to get it out of my head right now.”

  Michael nodded. “Can I talk to you?”

  “Of course. Did you want to go somewhere else?”

  “No, here is fine. I just wasn’t sure you wanted to be disturbed when you were composing.”

  “You’re not disturbing me. Is the meeting over?”

  “About ten minutes ago.”

  Joshua draped his leg over the piano bench. “So what’s on your mind?”

  Michael rubbed a calloused finger across the edge of the piano. “I wish you’d reconsider this European tour.”

  “I see.”

  Michael’s eyes actually met Joshua’s. “I don’t want to go any more than you do, but it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

  “How do you figure that, Mike? Why can’t it happen next year? Give us a six month break at least.”

  Michael grabbed the stool behind him and pulled it close to the piano, straddling it. “What if there isn’t a next year?”

  Joshua frowned. “You’re the second person to go all Armageddon on me. What’s this all about? Why are you all so convinced we don’t have a bit longer shelf-life?”

  “Because who can know that? Who knows what exciting new band might come along tomorrow with younger musicians?”

  “I can. I’ve been in this business for the last decade, Michael. I’m not saying we’ll stay on this ride forever. God knows I don’t even want that, but we’ve got a few good years left. We haven’t even reached saturation yet.”

  “I agree,” said Michael, “as long as you’re with us. If we tour Europe without you, the audience won’t respond in the same way. You’re the one who draws them to us.”

  Joshua sighed. “Michael, I really wish you wouldn’t keep saying that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it puts a hell of a lot of pressure on me. Besides that, it isn’t entirely true. Sure, you traded on my name, you traded on my past, but if you hadn’t had a solid band and people backing you, we’d have never done anything. A name only goes so far.”

  “But you aren’t just a name. You’re our composer and lead singer.”

  Joshua gave him a wry look. “Lead singer? You can pick those up in any town. Composer? There are classically trained people all over the country who can pen what I do in an afternoon.” He leaned closer to Michael. “I’m the fad, Mike. I’m the one who will eventually be over, not you. You and the other guys are real musicians. What do you think happens when my looks are gone?”

  Michael frowned. “You’re making this crap up.”

  Joshua rose to his feet. “I’m not, so let’s stop dancing around the real issue. You want me to make this tour because you know my appeal is going to last only so long. Now that I’m not making movies, my name isn’t as exposed as it was, and people forget. They forget quickly. So, here’s the thing. This European tour is your chance to make something without me, make something lasting and real.”

  “Do you want out?”

  Joshua ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t think I want out, but I don’t want to go to Europe. I don’t have any time with my daughter as it is and she’s growing up so fast. I can’t afford another six months away from her.”

  “Hold on a minute.” Michael held up his hand. “I’m hearing something very different in your tone. You don’t think you want out, but some part of you does, doesn’t it?”

  Jos
hua sighed. “Some part of me wants to get off this ride and be a regular person – a father and a...” Joshua caught himself.

  “A what?”

  “Just a father,” he added with a non-convincing shrug.

  “Are you going to quit on us?”

  “No.” He laughed. “Calm down, Michael. I’ve never seen you this forceful before. I don’t intend to quit. I’m just saying that if you all want this European tour, do it? Don’t let me hold you back.”

  “You won’t even consider it? Give it a little bit of thought?”

  “I don’t think so, Mike.”

  Michael shook his head. “Just give it a little thought, all right? Don’t dismiss it out of hand. Call Terry and see if she’s interested in going to Europe for a few months. Maybe she’d agree to take Tiffany.”

  Joshua met the drummer’s desperate look. He couldn’t deny that Michael’s insistence on having him part of the band felt good, but he didn’t want to continue the tour. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be with his daughter in the City and he wanted Elena to move in with him. He wanted to live a normal, uncomplicated life at least for a little while. Still, he couldn’t deny the urgency in Michael’s plea.

  “I’ll give it some thought,” he offered, then added, “but please don’t get your hopes up.”

  Michael clamped a hand on his shoulder. “That’s all that I ask,” he said with a smile.

  CHAPTER 11

  The doorman pulled open the door of the hotel. Joshua strolled through beside Robert, Dominic trailing behind them. They came up short. The entire band and most of the crew were assembled in the lobby, surrounding a rapidly talking Elliot.

  Joshua exchanged a concerned look with Robert as they approached.

  “What’s wrong?” asked the keyboardist.

  Elliot whipped around. “Elena’s missing.”

  Robert’s gaze snapped to Joshua’s face. Joshua felt his heart sink. He should have told Elliot weeks ago, but now nothing would sound right, no matter how he explained it.

  “What do you mean she’s missing?” asked Robert.

  “I went to ask her to breakfast, but got no response when I knocked. I figured she was in the shower.”

  Robert nodded.