The Complex

by Courtney McPhail

  “Harold and Angela ain’t in there,” he told her, “And the girls wanna see ya. Audrey’s still cut up ‘bout scarin’ ya.”

  “Is that what we’re calling it?” Veronica said dryly. “Scaring me?”

  “Come on,” Jackson said, holding out a hand to her as he pushed open the lodge door. “Ya ain’t gotta do this alone. No matter what, I’m here for ya.”

  She took his hand, letting the warmth of his palm seep into her own for a moment before she walked through the door. At least she knew someone had her back.

  Subject File #756

  Administrator: How are you doing?

  Subject: By the way you asked that, I’m guessing she told you.

  Administrator: It’s made its way through the grapevine.

  Subject: I’m not doing that great to be honest. I had something really special and I screwed it up.

  Quinton placed the last of the sterile pads back onto the shelf, noting down the final count on a clipboard. It hadn’t been necessary for him to recount everything on the shelves in the supply room at the clinic. He could have easily subtracted the supplies they had used in Port Meyer and altered the inventory totals. It would have been faster but he wasn’t looking for that. He needed something to occupy him and inventory was as good as anything else.

  The arrival of Travis and the Reyes family had been a distraction but as the newness of it faded away, his own pain had come back. Janet had banished him from her life. She thought him a monster who had put her children in danger. She didn’t understand that he had been trying to keep them out of danger.

  When he had first discovered Harold had been hiding that infected man in the lab, he had wanted to tell everyone. He had only seen danger in keeping him but Harold had convinced him there was logic in it. He needed the infected man to continue his work and so Quinton had promised to keep his secret.

  It hadn’t been malicious. If anyone knew about the infected man they would want him gone and that meant Harold would fail in his work. He was the only chance they had to end the virus.

  It had been for the greater good but Janet didn’t see it that way. She didn’t see that he had only been thinking of all the children. There was a chance that they could live in a world that was safe. A world where they could go to bed each night knowing that the monsters couldn't hurt them anymore.

  But in trying to protect them, he had been cast as the monster and he had lost them. Janet felt betrayed and now she wanted nothing to do with him. In one fell swoop, he’d lost everything and all to keep secret an experiment that had failed anyway.

  His hand shot out to sweep the contents of the shelf onto the floor. Boxes scattered around his feet and he kicked them, sending them skidding.

  “What did those boxes ever do to you?”

  He started and turned to find Claudia at the door, arms crossed over her chest.

  “I was going to ask how you are doing but I think the battered boxes speak for themselves.”

  He ran a hand through his hair and hung his head. “I’m fine.”

  “No you aren’t.” She came into the room, careful to step around the fallen boxes. “I heard about what happened with Janet.”

  His head shot up at that. “She's telling everybody already?”

  Claudia shook her head. “Nas took me aside and told me. He overheard your conversation. You want to talk about it?”

  “She doesn’t want me anywhere near her or the kids,” he admitted. “How the hell am I supposed to do that? I can’t be here, seeing her and the kids day in and day out and not be a part of their lives. It’s gonna kill me to do that.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Are you saying you want to leave?”

  He hadn’t been, not really, but now he wondered. There was nothing saying he had to stay here. It was safe here, sure, but there were other places. The lake was filled with other islands, ones he could make safe if need be. Maybe that was the best thing to do. If he couldn’t be with Janet, what else was keeping him here?

  Your sisters.

  Claudia might be on board with the idea of leaving but Veronica would never go for it. She wouldn’t leave those girls behind and it wouldn’t be right to haul those girls out into danger. He couldn’t leave Veronica behind.

  “No that’s not what I want.”

  “That’s good because I don’t want to leave.” She crossed the room to put a hand on his arm. “But I would, if you wanted me to though. You’re my big brother, my hero. I’d follow you through the gates of hell.”

  He regarded his baby sister, wondering when the hell she had become so strong. When he looked at her, he still saw the girl curled up in the backseat of their parents’ car, blue eyes vacant. It wasn’t until now he realized that girl was long dead, left behind at the park in Virginia. The woman before him had been forged stronger on the road here and he had failed to take notice until now.

  But he wondered if her faith in him was as strong as she was now.

  “You aren’t mad at me for keeping it secret that there was a freak here?” he asked.

  Her brows knit together as she considered his question and then she shook her head. “No. I’ve never known you to do something without good reason. You had your reasons for keeping it to yourself and I trust you.”

  He sighed, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. “I wish Janet felt the same.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s not going to happen,” Claudia replied. “It’s easy for me to forgive you, you’re my brother. We have to forgive each other. Janet is a whole other ball game.”

  “I get why she’s pissed, I kept a secret, but I don’t get why she doesn’t understand my reasons. Harold created the virus, he’s our best chance at curing it. This was about the greater good.”

  “But the greater good doesn’t matter when it comes to intimate relationships.”

  He gave her a sideways look. “What do you know about intimate relationships?”

  “More than you, obviously,” she snorted. “You kept a huge secret from her. One that directly affected her and her kids. You can’t do that while trying to build a relationship with someone.”

  “But she won’t even listen to me explain it.”

  “Look, you can’t talk your way out of this one. She needs to be mad at you for a while. You screwed up and you have to accept that. The best thing you can do right now is give her space.”

  He knew she was right. His reasons didn’t matter. He had lied to Janet. He had made a choice and every choice had a consequence.

  “So, that’s the end of it then.”

  Claudia put a hand on his shoulder. “Not necessarily. When she’s ready, you can try to start to prove to her that she can trust you.” The hand on his shoulder pulled away and she balled it into a fist and punched him lightly on the arm. “And you better bust your ass doing it because she’s an amazing woman.”

  Despite the punch, he actually felt better. He might have a chance to make it better. If he could prove to her that he could be trusted, maybe she would let him back into her life, even if just as a friend. It would kill him to just be her friend but he’d do it if it meant he could be in her life.

  “Since when did you become so smart?” he asked.

  “I’ve always been smart,” she said, putting the boxes back on the shelf. “You and Veronica just thought I was too young to listen to.”

  That was probably true. Being so much younger than them, she’d always been the baby in the family. When they had left home, she had still been a kid but she’d grown up over the years they’d been gone. And she grown even more since this all started.

  She wasn’t his little sister anymore. She was a grown woman with wisdom of her own. He was proud of her and he knew that if their parents had been here, they would be too.

  It still hurt to think of his parents but he took comfort knowing that they would be happy that their children had stuck together. If there was one thing that their parents had hammered into their heads, it was that they had to take care of eac
h other.

  That reminder of their family motto made him realize that his own wallowing meant he had forgotten about Veronica.

  Arriving at the dock to see her holding Harold at gunpoint had been shocking but he hadn’t even questioned his actions. He had moved up behind his sister, ready to have her back. He didn’t need to know what was happening, he was behind her all the way.

  Problem was, after the stand-off was done, he hadn’t had her back. Any thought of her had disappeared when Janet had broken his heart. He’d taken for granted that Veronica would be okay while he focused on himself. Selfish asshole.

  “Have you talked to Veronica?” he asked and Claudia shook her head.

  “I was going to go out to talk to her but Travis beat me to it,” Claudia told him. “I figured he’d be the better person to talk to her anyway.”

  “Really? He wasn’t even here when it happened.”

  Claudia let out an exasperated sigh. “You really don’t get people do you? You should take some time to read a psychology book or something. Veronica almost killed Harold because Audrey went missing. Yet, instead of staying with Audrey after we found her, she volunteers to take watch. She was hiding from Travis. Obviously, she blamed herself for leaving him for dead.”

  Once again, he had been so caught up in his own bullshit he hadn’t put two and two together. She’d been the one to tell them that Travis was dead all those weeks ago. She must be beating herself up for that. She shouldn’t. He knew his sister and if she had left Travis it was because she had really believed he was dead.

  “He doesn’t blame her, does he?”

  “No. I wouldn’t have let him go to her if he had. They talked and he brought her back to the lodge. She’s there with Jackson and the girls now. I think they’ve got a handle on it. Let her have time with them. She thought she had lost Audrey. Some time with her will help.”

  And there was his little sister showing him once again that she was more mature than he gave her credit for.

  He put the last of the boxes on the shelf and sighed. Now all that was left was to sit around and think about all the ways he had fucked up his life.

  They went back to the main room and he was ready to bid her goodnight when he saw Operation sitting on the coffee table. The box was battered, like the one that he was sure was still in his parent’s basement, a relic from their childhood.

  “The funny bone is missing,” Claudia told him, “But it still works.”

  “You brought this?”

  She nodded. “It was always your favourite, Dr. Alpert. Wanna play?”

  He smiled down at her and she knocked her shoulder against his before taking a seat. She opened the box to set up the game while he pulled a chair over to sit opposite her. He watched as she stacked the cards and dropped the plastic pieces into the slots.

  “I’d do the same, you know,” he said and she gave him a curious look. “Follow you through the gates of hell.”

  “Of course you would. You’re my big brother.” Her loving smile turned into a smirk. “Now stop being mushy so I don’t feel bad that I’m gonna kick your ass.”

  He laughed. “Bring it on.”

  Subject File #745

  Administrator: Why do you think she hates herself?

  Subject: ‘Cause she hates what the world’s made her do.

  Administrator: Isn’t that just an excuse? We all make our own choices.

  Subject: Sure, but ya don’t make ‘em in a vacuum. The world influences ya whether ya like it or not. She ain’t a bad person. She’s one of the best people I’ve ever met.

  “I had fun tonight. Can we do that every night?”

  Jackson looked down at Hannah who was strutting beside him as they walked into the clearing around their cabin. Even in the darkness he could see the big grin on her face as she kept pace with him. The atmosphere in the lodge had been happy, as happy as he’d seen it since their first night here. Someone had put on music while Malcolm had broken out the good scotch to toast their new arrivals. The kids had managed to sucker the adults into playing board games with them. Hannah had even convinced Jackson to join her, Audrey and Veronica in a several rounds of the game of Sorry!. The girls had destroyed him and he wished he could say he had let them win but that would be a lie.

  “Can’t have every night be like that,” he told her, “Else what would ya do on the special occasions?”

  Hannah considered his words, tapping her index finger on her chin. “I suppose you’re right.”

  He fought back a smile. “Ain’t ya learned yet? I’m always right, Squirt.”

  “Yeah but you suck at Sorry!” she commented and he heard Audrey’s peel of laughter up ahead.

  “Hey, ain’t like ya did much better than me,” Jackson called out to Audrey, who turned back to him with a smile.

  “We can play again tomorrow night, see who beats who,” Audrey said.

  “Hey, yer forgettin’ yer grounded,” Jackson told her. “Ya got a free pass tonight on account of the new arrivals but tomorrow’s gonna be different.”

  She rolled her eyes and turned back around to climb the steps to the cabin but he sped up to grab her elbow and stop her.

  “Hey, I mean it. No playin’ ‘round. Ya do your chores and ya keep yer ass in the cabin ‘less we say different. Ya got it?”

  Audrey had the good sense to look cowed and nodded her head. “Yes, sir,” she said but there was no sarcasm there. She reached out to take Hannah’s hand and lead her sister into the cabin.

  “Damn straight,” Jackson said.

  He looked back at Veronica, wanting to see what she thought of him handling that situation, but he found her staring at her feet.

  She’d done her best tonight, putting on a smile at the lodge for everyone else’s benefit but he’d seen through it. To their credit, no one had treated her any differently but he saw the way their concerned eyes had strayed to Veronica when they thought she wasn’t looking. She would have felt them on her and he had watched it drain her.

  The only time she had seemed genuinely happy had been when Travis had brought over the Reyes family to meet her. She had been all smiles for them as they shook her hand and told her that Travis had talked about her.

  Jackson knew he should be grateful that Travis didn’t blame her for getting left behind. That was something she didn’t need and didn’t deserve. Problem was all Jackson could focus on was walking out to see Travis holding Veronica and how the sight had twisted him up inside.

  It was a strange feeling for him, one he hadn’t experienced much in his life, but he knew what it was. He was jealous. He had no right to be, not by his accounts. A quick kiss and a confession didn’t make her his.

  Still, he’d been relieved when she had suggested they head back to the cabin. He was more than ready to get away from a smiling Travis, with his good looks and his casual familiarity with her. Last thing Jackson wanted to do was make an ass of himself in front of everyone. He also didn’t want Veronica to get wind of what was going on in his head. She didn’t need any more bullshit to deal with.

  “C’mon,” he said, “Let’s get the girls ready for bed.”

  They fell back into the familiar routine of getting the girls ready for bed. Teeth brushed, faces washed and then into bed for a solid eight hours.

  It was rare for them to both be at the cabin for the girl’s bedtime, one of them usually out on watch. He let Veronica take the lead on tucking in Hannah, who preferred to have her sheet tucked in tight around the mattress to prevent any monsters from reaching up for her.

  Veronica ran a hand over Hannah’s head and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Have a good night’s sleep.”

  She stood up and smiled at Audrey, who was curled up on the top bunk. Jackson watched her take the girl’s hand, stroking her thumb over her wrist. “You have a good night’s sleep too.”

  “Veronica,” Audrey squeaked out, her voice cracking as tears filled her eyes, “I’m really sorry.”

  She hushed her,
reaching out to push a lock of hair out of Audrey’s eyes. “I know you are, honey.”

  He saw tears in Veronica’s eyes when she turned around and walked out of the room. Audrey looked after her, worry clear on her face.

  “It’ll be okay,” Jackson told her. “It’s been a hard day for her, she ain’t her usual self.”

  “I’m sorry I did that to her,” Audrey whispered, eyes downcast.

  He wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, not liking to see the girl upset, but it wasn’t true. While Audrey wasn’t at fault for how far Veronica took things, she had fucked up by running off and hiding.

  “Ya wanna make it better?” She nodded. “Then don’t go hidin’ like that again. Yer learnin’ that actions have consequences. S’long as ya learn from the consequences, it’ll work out in the long run.”

  She nodded and he wished them goodnight again, turning off the light and leaving their door ajar. In the main room, the screen door was propped open and he saw Veronica sitting outside on the porch steps.

  He headed out to join her, easing down beside her. The whine of insects filled the air, a light breeze sending the leaves in the trees fluttering.

  It was a nice night, the heat of the day gone, but the broken woman beside him made it impossible to enjoy. He wanted to say something but he didn’t know where to even begin. He hated seeing her like this. She was the best person he knew. She didn’t deserve any of this, no matter what she had done. He just wanted to make it right but he had no idea how to do that.

  He glanced at the nearby cabin, frowning at the dark windows. Quinton or Claudia might be able to help. They knew Veronica better than he did but her brother and sister were nowhere to be found.

  “I’m going to have to apologize to Harold tomorrow.”

  Her voice was soft, mournful, her shoulders turned in as she kept her arms tight around herself. Instinct to protect her had him rushing to defend her.

  “Ya don’t hafta.” He heard the sigh escape her lips as she shook her head. “Guy lied to us, put us in danger with that freak of his. Think we can all agree to call it even.”