Learning to Walk Again

by S. L. Kassidy

  “I was wondering if you’d be willing to get a cell phone,” Nicole sort of blurted out. Then, her eyes went wide, like she was horrified.

  Dane laughed, but it sounded awkward because her heart and her lungs had been ready to explode. “Is that all? You scared me for a second.” Okay, still a team. Still good. We’ll be okay.

  “Well, I’m not sure about your stance on them. I know before you never felt like you needed one because you’re almost always home or near home. Now, we’re both out and about. It’s okay if you don’t want one. I think I have the theater’s number now since you called before.” Nicole shook her head.

  Dane’s face scrunched up as she studied her girlfriend. “You’re nervous about this, huh?” Nick’s just trying to do what she thinks makes me comfortable, even though she’s worried about me and wants to talk to me.

  “Like I said, I know you never wanted one before and I don’t want you to think I’m trying to put a leash on you or anything.”

  Dane grinned. “Angel, I think we both know you already got me on a leash. You joke about it all the time. Can’t believe you’re so nervous about this.”

  Nicole shook her head again. “I can’t believe I am, too. I had a real argument mapped out before you got in the car.”

  “I’ll bet you did, and we both know I don’t win arguments against you. Maybe I should get a cell phone. Trying to make phone calls in that madhouse is madness.”

  A frown marred Nicole’s features. “Why?”

  “There’s always so much going on with the phone in the hall and from what I can tell there’s only one other place with a phone, which is the office, which is Andrew’s. Wanna punch him in the face when I go to use the phone. ‘Why?’ ‘Who are you calling?’ ‘You’ve been on for a few minutes now. You should probably get back to work.’ Are bosses generally this annoying?”

  “Bosses, yes. Leaders, no. From what you tell me with Andrew, he seems insecure and wants everyone to think he’s in charge because he doesn’t feel like he’s really in charge.”

  “Yeah, maybe a cell phone. This way, you can call me, too. I can’t even imagine what Andrew might do if you called the office and asked for me. A cell phone might be the way to go.”

  “It’ll also help in case your orchestra needs to catch up with you after hours,” Nicole said.

  “That is good.” It’d come in handy with Ryan most definitely.

  “We’ll get you on my plan.”

  Dane frowned. “Are you going to be paying for it?” Money was one of the main reasons she never wanted a cell phone. She couldn’t afford one and didn’t want Nicole footing yet another bill for her.

  “You’ll be getting a steady paycheck. We can divide up bills, okay?” Nicole replied.

  Dane nodded. Awesome, I can really start carrying my weight around here. “That’s a great idea. I can pay the phone bill, then. I can pay bills now.” There was her trust money, but this was different. This was her money.

  “Yes, you can.”

  Dane felt light enough to float off to space. “And now I’m happy I can pay a bill.” Nick is totally a witch. I’m bewitched. I’m happy to pay bills. Being able to pay the phone bill and getting a phone seemed reasonable enough.

  Holy shit, I have responsibilities. I’m like a real freaking adult. Pride had her high, but she’d have to come down sometime. That was how things worked. Dane had to take a deep breath. They were evolving into something better. She was better. She had a job. She could support herself and support Nicole. Then, stop feeling like you’re going to throw up. She had never come down that fast before.

  Chapter Eleven

  MINA GAVE NICOLE A high-five and Nicole managed to keep in a giggle fit. Mina must have noticed, grabbing Nicole around the shoulders as they walked down the hall of the law firm, away from the conference room, and from the newest clients of the firm. Nicole let loose a high pitch laugh.

  “We were on fire in there!” Mina squeezed her shoulders.

  Nicole lost a fight to a smile and nodded. “We were pretty outstanding.”

  The clients had been enamored with her and Mina. She couldn’t blame them. Mina had a silver tongue coated in honey, and Nicole always chimed in with her own sweetness. It was like an old dance, like when they did projects back in college. Nicole had fought back giggles there, too. They worked well together. I love working with Mina.

  “We are good at this,” Mina said, inviting herself into Nicole’s office.

  “We are that.”

  “We should go celebrate.” Mina dropped into the seat by the desk.

  “Mina, it’s ten in the morning. We are not celebrating.” Nicole made her way around her desk and sighed as she settled into her chair.

  “Later then.”

  Nicole shook her head. “Classes start tonight.”

  Mina snorted. “Classes start at six. We’ll catch a drink before you go to class. We’ll do it quick, even grab Clara. You know we won’t be long because she’s got to get home to the kid and you have to get to class.”

  It’d be nice to hang out with her friends. It’d help keep nervousness from nipping at her brain. First day of classes. Last semester. What happened next? The question never entered her head before. She knew what happened after undergrad and then she knew what happened after law school. What happened post-degree?

  Mina snapped in front of her face. “Hey, you still in there?”

  Nicole blinked several times. “Sorry. You were saying something?”

  “Nothing. Just about us being an awesome duo. Always have been.”

  “Do you ever wonder about when I get my degree and if I’m not here anymore?”

  Mina took a loud breath. “Honestly, I try not to think about it. You know I’ll be happy for you, but it won’t be the same for me here without you. Look, I know how this place has been for you, but I also know what it means to you.”

  Nicole wasn’t sure what that meant. “Then, I shouldn’t go for the degree?”

  “What? Fuck, yeah, you should. I just know this place is more than a workplace for you. You shouldn’t let that hold you back, though. I do this because I like it. You do this because you inherited it. It ties you in knots, which is understandable. You’re the heir, but you’re the heir who wants to do her own thing. You should be able to, just like anyone else.”

  “Why in the hell do you know me so well?” It blew Nicole’s mind.

  “Didn’t we already establish sisterly bond? Anyway, don’t let it bug you. You’re allowed to want your own thing.”

  “But, what about…” Nicole motioned around the room.

  Mina shrugged. “Someone’ll figure it out. You’re smart. Your parents are smart. I’m smart. One of us will come up with something. Besides, I wouldn’t let this place turn to shit.”

  She hadn’t thought of that. Mina would be there. Mina would guard the firm. But, Nicole wasn’t sure if she liked that. She was the heir, after all, and she wasn’t one to let go of responsibility.

  “Nicole, no matter what, it’ll be fine. Here or there. We’ll figure it out,” Mina said with her usual confidence, as if the universe was tailor-made for her while Nicole felt like she needed to work hard to make things fit. Nicole nodded and took a deep breath, trying to breathe in Mina’s words, her confidence. Everything would work out.

  ***

  “Lennox, you’re killing me here.” Dane groaned, throwing her hands in the air. Her portfolio dropped to the ground with a soft thud. Pages of notes flipped open and settled on a random sheet.

  “What? I thought that was good,” Lennox replied, dropping his guitar with a scowl. He looked pissed, like he wasn’t the one messing everyone else up. Everyone else glared at him.

  “You can’t overpower everyone else.” Dane paced in front of the orchestra.

  She had the musicians lined up like they’d be in the orchestra pit. Everyone knew where they went and could get used to their spots. It was probably the easiest thing, even though they even argued ove
r that. Even when she explained why she wanted them where she put them, they still needed to backtalk and drive her crazy. Now, they played together. Well, they tried, but it was a struggle.

  Dane’s limp became more pronounced as she moved, as she had been on her feet all morning. Her knee ached a little, and her muscles burned. Ignoring the pain, she focused on her people and hoped like hell they could make it through the day without her having to kill someone. And, surprisingly, I won’t even start with Dougie.

  “Not all the time. Just that part. It cries out for my axe, man.” Lennox held up his guitar in triumph. A collective scoff echoed through the room.

  “It cries out for you to be in step with everyone else. I get enough of this leader of the band shit from Dougie.” Dane motioned to Dougie, who rolled his eyes.

  “All I’m saying is we could do with more flute solos,” Dougie chimed in.

  Dane sighed and rubbed her eyes with both hands. “First off, I’m not even halfway done writing the score. You don’t know where your solos might be, even if you go based on your character. Second, we need to play together for this. The flute will come in when the damsel does. Right now, we’re doing the opening scene and no one’s in the lead. Now, can we play together?” She eyed Lennox, tired of going over this with him.

  “Play together? Have you seen this thing?” Dougie motioned around them, talking about the orchestra.

  “Yes, I’ve seen this thing and it’s fucking unbelievable. It could be awesome if you guys just play together. I know you’re used to being the best guy out there and you wanna do solos and lead the band, but at some point we have to be the orchestra I keep claiming we are.” A small headache knocked at the side of Dane’s skull, but she ignored it. She put her hand in the air. “Now, from the top!”

  Ryan started up and Evie came in right on time. Dane sighed, relief coursing through her, and signaled for Samiyah. Lennox came in right behind. She glanced at Dougie to make sure he didn’t try anything and then back to Lennox to make sure he didn’t try anything, either. For the first time that morning, she had hoped they’d make it through one song. And then a phone went off. Dane wanted to jump through the roof.

  “What the hell? Guys, I told you, vibrate or silent mode,” Dane said. The phone kept ringing, and Dane was certain she could hear her blood pressure rise. How many times would she have to tell them the same thing?

  Evie shot her eyes up to the usual suspect. “Lennox.”

  Lennox held up his hands. “It’s not me this time, I swear!” It frequently was him, even when he swore it wasn’t. He eyed Dane. “Um, I think it’s you, boss.”

  “Yeah, sounds like it’s coming from you,” Pedro said, nodding toward her.

  “Me?” Dane echoed and then she patted down her pockets. “Right! I have a phone now.” She hit herself in the forehead. Gonna have to get used to this. She grabbed it from the pocket opposite her wallet. Picking up, she stared at it and then answered. “Terri?”

  “Hey! I was just checking to see if you really had a phone, and you weren’t punking me when you called yesterday,” Terri said.

  “Okay, yeah, not joking. I’m working, so…is this just to make fun of me having a phone?”

  “I’m surprised you know how to answer the damned thing. Is it a flip phone?”

  Dane scowled. “No, it’s not a flip phone. I’m not totally behind the times, you know?” Besides, she knew how to operate Nicole’s smartphone. She’d get the hang of her own.

  “You sure? You download any games, yet?”

  Sighing, Dane covered her face with her hand. Well, she knew what Terri would be doing the next time they saw each other. Either way, she needed to get back to work. “Terri, working now.”

  “Oh, right! How’s the job going?”

  Apparently, 'working’ didn’t mean anything to Terri. “You’re determined to talk to me while I can’t talk, aren’t you?”

  Terri laughed. “Nah, you know I’m fucking with you. I’ll catch you later. Show you how to use whatever stupid phone you got.”

  “Shut up. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  Dane groaned and slipped the phone back into her pocket. Looking up, she found her orchestra laughing at her.

  “All right, all right. Sorry about that. Let’s get back to it. We finally got something going.” Dane smiled at them.

  “You might want to put it on vibrate first, boss,” Evie said.

  Dane’s brow furrowed, and she pulled out the phone. It shouldn’t seem so complicated. It was a tiny thing that fit easily in her hand. A button in the middle at the bottom, a couple on the left side, which she knew to be the volume, and one on the right, which she knew was the power button. Maybe the protective case around it hid some other buttons to put it on vibrate. Okay, she didn’t know as much about the phone as she thought. Nicole showed her some basic things when they got it the other day, and she played with it last night. She fiddled with it.

  “New phone?” Samiyah asked.

  “Yeah. Very new.”

  “Let me see it.” Samiyah held her hand out for it.

  Dane didn’t put up a fight. Samiyah worked quickly and then handed it back. “Thanks.” Dane slipped the phone back into her pocket.

  “No problem. I’ve got the same one.” She offered Dane an impish smile. “You might want to put a password on it, though.”

  “Yeah, because I’ve got so much stuff on here to be stolen.” Nicole tried to put one on for her, but she didn’t think she needed one.

  “Well, not now obviously, but eventually,” Pedro replied.

  Scoffing, Dane shook her head. “I highly doubt it.”

  “You do realize you can store music on it,” Lennox said.

  Okay, that was something worth looking into. “Good to know.” Dane twirled her finger in the air. “Back to work!”

  There were some mock groans, but everyone fell in line. Dane felt like they were getting somewhere. She spent a lot of time at home on the couch writing in her portfolio, usually after walking Haydn while Nicole worked on dinner. She still handled breakfast in the morning. It was a nice balance, just as Nicole tried to assure her it would be. But, there was something…missing. When she was at home, writing, there was an emptiness. When Nicole was working on dinner, there was a little void inside of her. Just thinking about it made her heart clench. It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.

  Ryan starting up brought Dane’s mind back to her musicians. The orchestra finally managed to make it through the song. It didn’t sound bad, but it definitely needed work. The orchestra didn’t seem to agree. They exchanged high-fives when it was over. Evie smiled at her.

  “We killed it!” Lennox took a bow.

  Evie smiled. “It sounds really good.”

  “Well, it’s not horrible,” Dane replied. It could be better. She needed to figure out what was missing.

  “That’s not a ringing endorsement,” Pedro said.

  “I know, but it’s our first time getting through it. There was something in it that just…” Dane trailed off and shook her head. “It needs more, and I have to figure it out.”

  “We’ll help,” Evie said.

  Dane nodded. “Good. I’d like that. Let’s go to the next song and then come back to this one. I might be able to figure it out or one of you might get an idea while we go through it.”

  “You certainly like the idea of us chiming in. You got nothing, boss?” Dougie said, giving the unofficial title a hiss.

  “We’re all musicians here. I’m open minded, and I like to think we can all build something together,” Dane answered with a shrug.

  Dougie scoffed. He motioned to the orchestra. “Yeah, we’re all musicians. You’re just some poser.” His upper lip pulled into a sneer.

  Dane arched an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

  “What do you play?” Dougie challenged her, climbing to his feet. If he had been taller than she was, he probably would’ve enjoyed literally looking down at her.

  She felt like
Dougie didn’t truly understand art, even music. The idea that she needed to play an instrument to create music seemed ridiculous to her. Art was about experience and connection. Music, at least for her, was about going through her own emotions and hoping others connected with her on some level, any level.

  Dane looked back at Dougie, face calm, but eyes hard. “What do I play? What does it matter? If I couldn’t play the spoons, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m musical director or that I want your opinions.”

  “Do you play anything?” Lennox asked, his face scrunched up a little as he studied her.

  “Why does it matter?” Dane folded her arms across her chest. While she didn’t mind playing, she didn’t have anything to prove to them. She was in charge, and they needed to get used to it.

  Lennox held up his hands in surrender. “It doesn’t.”

  It did if everyone’s faces meant anything. They’d probably respect her more if they knew she played something. It might even get Dougie off her back.

  “Fine. Take your pick,” Dane said, leveling a look at Dougie.

  Dougie blinked. “Huh?”

  “Pick. Anyone of them.” She motioned to their orchestra. “Pick one.”

  Dougie laughed. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Kidding? Nope. Pick one.”

  Dougie laughed more and then looked around at the orchestra. They all shrugged. He shrugged, too. He turned his attention to their instruments and rubbed his chin. She didn’t give a damn what he picked. She’d rock the crap out of it, unless of course he picked one of his damned woodwinds. Then she was screwed.

  “Nothing she’s gotta put her mouth on,” Pedro said, holding his sax to his chest.

  “Please.” Dane agreed with that. Just like they didn’t know where she’d been, she didn’t know where they’d been. Of course, if they’d been similar places she’d been, none of them would want their mouths in contact with the same things.

  “And sometime today,” Lennox requested.

  “I figure a poser knows something about the guitar and drums. Those are popular. Play the violin,” Dougie said.