The Grace In Darkness

by Melissa Andrea

“Aw, hell, her friend? Find her and find Craze and warn him. Warn him that I’m going to kill him! Give her to me.”

  I was being transferred from one pair of strong arms to another, and I threw my arm around Ryland’s shoulders. I nuzzled his neck, breathing in his scent. I found his cheek and pulled his lips toward mine. They felt different, but I blamed that on the numbness in my lips. He hesitated for a second before deepening the kiss.

  He tasted different than I remembered, not bad, just… different. Everything felt different when alcohol weakened your senses. His tongue swept across mine and I wanted to go on kissing him, but my body was losing the fight to stay awake. When I couldn’t hold myself up any longer, I wilted into the safety of his arms and his name tingled on my lips.

  “I love you, Ryland.”

  “She’s out of it,” River said, but their conversation was starting to fade in and out.

  “Are you going to be okay to drive?” River asked, and for the first time, I could smell the alcohol on Ryland.

  “I just slammed a round with the triplets. What do you think?”

  “Use Stitch’s room above the office and chill out there until your brother gets here.”

  “Where is my brother?”

  “But if you just let her know I’m here, I know she’ll want to see me,” I begged.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Dare. I’ve already told you it’s way past visiting hours. The only way you can get into the campus now is with a key card and do you have one of those?”

  “No.”

  “No, you don’t. Come back in the morning and I would be happy to let Miss Noelle know you’re here to see her.”

  I sighed and pushed away from the guard post. I’d been here for over an hour, trying to convince Marge here to let me in to see Araya, and it didn’t look like I was going to get in tonight. I was angry with myself for leaving so late and not making it back here in time. She’d been worried about me quitting and J.D.’s reaction so the fact that I hadn’t shown up wasn’t a good thing.

  “Well, thanks for keeping me company, Marge,” I said, saluting her.

  She laughed and threw her hand in my direction. “Goodnight, Mr. Dare.”

  I made my way back to my car with every intention of sleeping in it until morning. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and unlocked my door.

  “Hey.” I looked up and instantly felt my muscles tighten. “Ryland, right?”

  “Yeah.” I shoved my hands in my pockets.

  He nodded, noting my attitude. “Are you here to see Araya?”

  “Yeah... but I couldn’t get in.”

  “Lockdown. Right?”

  “Yep. So I’m just going to wait in my car until morning. Do you live in the same… building as Araya?”

  “No. I actually go to the college here. It’s on the other side of the campus. Look, I don’t think Araya’s here. I think she went out with Makayla, but I can get you onto the campus and you can make sure for yourself.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Come on, follow me.”

  He took us in the opposite direction from Marge, and I looked behind me, half expecting her to be watching. He walked toward a side entrance on the campus, pulled out a card, and swiped it. The light turned green and he pushed open the door.

  We didn’t say anything as I followed him through the building toward another back door that led us outside again. We made our way through a small outside eating area and then stopped in front of a large building with huge words that read “Be Brave” and then “MA Building E” directly under.

  “This is Araya’s building and this is as far as I can take you. You have to have a key card to get in and only residents here own those. Her apartment number is twenty-five.”

  He pushed a button and there was a loud buzz on our end. We waited, but nothing happened. He pushed it again and there was still no answer.

  “She probably stayed out with Makayla. You can stay here if you want, but if security catches you...”

  “I’ll just wait in my car,” I said, looking up at the tall building. “I don’t feel like being arrested tonight.”

  He laughed. “Well, I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

  “That’s what I’m hoping.” I looked at him again. “Thanks for helping me out.”

  “Well, it was mostly for Araya.”

  Before I could answer him, my phone went off and I was quick to pull it out, hoping maybe it was Araya.

  “What? I’m out. What do you need? ... No, I’m not going tonight. I’m kind of in the middle of something, Sebastian. ... Fine, I’ll be there when I get there.”

  I hung up on him before he could argue with me and put the phone back in my pocket.

  “Everything all right?” he asked.

  “Yeah, it was just my brother. Looks like I won’t be spending the night in my car after all.”

  “It’s not as fun as it sounds, believe me.”

  “If you see Araya before I do tomorrow, can you let her know I was here?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Until I come back for her, and I will, can you just keep an eye on her?”

  “Of course, but why? Is something wrong?”

  I didn’t exactly have the time to explain to him my reasoning. “No. I just worry about her.”

  “Okay.”

  “Thanks.”

  I turned around without saying anything else. The conversation had been pretty awkward all on its own. I didn’t feel like adding a weird good-bye. He was the last person I wanted to ask to keep an eye on Araya, but I was desperate and he didn’t seem like he was trying to steal her from me even if he did have feelings for her.

  I made my way back toward Charleston, and for Sebastian’s sake, I hoped he had a good enough emergency for making me drive all the way home.

  I heard Sebastian end his conversation and then sigh as he set down the phone. I didn’t move and every inch of my body felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. My head was pounding and I closed my eyes because it hurt too much to blink.

  It was dark and I had no idea where I was or how I’d gotten here, but Sebastian was here and that helped keep me from freaking out completely. I tried to remember what had happened after Makayla and I got here—

  “Makayla,” I said, lurching up. I quickly retreated from my outburst and clutched the side of my head. “Ow. My head.”

  Sebastian had turned toward me and I felt his hand on my elbow.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I nodded. I couldn’t speak yet. “My friend, Makayla, she was with me tonight. Do you know where she is?”

  “River went to look for her, but I don’t know if he found her. I’m sure she’s okay, though.”

  “Where are we?” I kept my head and my voice low.

  “I think we’re still at The Underground.”

  “You think?”

  “I’m sorry, Red. I had a lot to drink before River brought you to me. I’m pretty sure I brought you up here to wait for Ryland.”

  “It’s not your fault. I should’ve never drunk that beer. Thank you for helping me.”

  “Ryland’s on his way home. I’m okay to drive now so we should go.”

  “Do you... know where he was?”

  “No. He just said he was in the middle of something.”

  “Oh.”

  “Don’t worry, Red, it was nothing like that. I’m going to help you get up, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He took my hands and helped me from the cot and pulled me to my feet. I wobbled a little before I gained my balance.

  “You good?” Sebastian asked, still holding on to my hands.

  “Yeah, I think so, thank you. Are you sure River went to look for Makayla? I don’t want her to think I left her.”

  “She’ll be fine, Red. Don’t worry.”

  I nodded, wishing I knew for sure. Sebastian promised to look around the main floor once we left. The place was practically deserted by time we made our way toward the exit.

 
“Do you see her?” I asked him.

  “No one who resembles your description of her. River probably took her home.”

  “Okay.” It was so quiet. “What time is it?”

  “A little after two, I think.”

  I tried to keep my eyes open as Sebastian drove us home, but I was still feeling the effects of the alcohol combined with the soothing ride. I couldn’t help but fall asleep. I was only slightly aware when the car stopped and I heard Sebastian’s door shut a few seconds before mine opened.

  I woke up a few minutes later and he was putting me down and covering me. I was immediately wrapped in Ryland’s smell. I pulled the blankets up around me and breathed in his scent.

  “Thank you, Sebastian,” I whispered, already dozing off to sleep.

  “Don’t mention it, Red.”

  I was surprised to see Sebastian sitting in the dark when I walked through the door. He was perched on the edge of the couch, his elbows resting on his knees and his chin on his fists. He turned his head toward me when the light from the hall flooded into the dark apartment.

  “Why are you sitting in the dark?” I threw my keys on the side table and flipped the switch to the light. “And what was so damn important that I needed to come home?” I put the six-pack of beer on the table and took off my jacket. “Hello? Earth to Sebastian!” I waved my hand in front of him when he still didn’t answer me. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

  “I thought you were going to The Underground tonight?”

  I pulled a can free from the plastic rings and popped the lid. “Well, I was... but I got into it with J.D. and then I had to take care of something.” I sat down and took a long-needed drink. “I kind of punched him in the face.” I smirked and took another drink.

  He seemed to perk up at that. “You what? Why?”

  “Does it matter? It felt... pretty fucking awesome, let me tell you.” I pointed my can at him before taking another sip.

  “You just hit him and walked out?”

  “Pretty much.” I frowned. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

  “Was it over her?”

  I narrowed my eyes at his tone. “What the hell is your problem?”

  “I don’t understand what you’re doing with her, Ryland.”

  “Not you too! Why are you so worried about her ruining my life?”

  “I’m not worried about her ruining your life! I just don’t want you to ruin hers!”

  “What the fuck are you talking about? How am I going to ruin her life? I love her!”

  “Do you? Because you sure have a hell of a way of showing it. You want to know what my problem is? My problem is having to save your blind girl because she was drugged and nearly...” He couldn’t finish. “All because she was looking for you at The Underground.”

  I sat there stunned. I felt like I’d just been tasered and every muscle in my body pulsated painfully. “Araya was at The Underground?” I was in shock. “Where is she?” I stood.

  “Do you know what could have happened to her, Ryland?” he asked, ignoring my question. “Do you remember what happened in the park?”

  “Where the fuck is she, Sebastian?!” I roared. I couldn’t hear another word. Of course I fucking remembered!

  His muscles were bunched and that raw look in his eyes matched mine. I don’t know how I’d missed it when I walked in.

  “She’s in your bedroom.”

  I took off down the hall, nearly tearing down my bedroom door to get inside. I stopped short of the bed and stared down at Araya’s sleeping body.

  She was curled onto her side, her breathing soft and hypnotic. Sebastian had pulled the blankets up around her and she looked peaceful despite the fact that she’d been drugged tonight. Just thinking about it again ignited my anger, and my fists clenched at my sides.

  I knelt down and pushed her hair off to the side, running my finger down her cheek. I don’t know how I survived being away from her as long as I had. I was stupid.

  “I should have been there tonight, Hummingbird. I’m so sorry I wasn’t. But I’m going to fix this, I promise.”

  I kissed her temple and left the room.

  “How did she even know to look for me there?”

  Sebastian had opened one of the beers I’d brought home and was drinking it.

  “Who the hell knows?” He sighed. “But she was there and Craze slipped something into her drink. River found her and brought her to me. She knew something was wrong. She’s a smart girl.”

  “I’m going to kill him!” I lifted murderous eyes toward Sebastian. “I swear to God I am!”

  It was the third death threat I’d made today.

  “Don’t worry about Craze. I’m taking care of it.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Yes! It matters a hell of a lot! I don’t need you to do anything.” I ran my hand through my hair and tried to think, but the pounding of my heart drowned out everything.

  My blood was boiling and I felt like I was burning from the inside out. All I could see was Araya’s face the night I found her in the park. I looked at Sebastian.

  “Did you know about this?

  His eyes narrowed at me. “About what?” he said tightly.

  “You know what! The drugs, Sebastian, did you know about them?”

  “Fuck you, Ryland! How could you ask me something like that?”

  “How could you not know?”

  “You didn’t know!”

  “I don’t practically live there, either! It’s not like they’d share info like that with me anyway.”

  “And you think they’d tell me? I’m the last person he’d tell, Ryland!”

  “River knew?”

  “He’s the one who told me, so I’m going to say yes, he knows.”

  “Why the hell would he let this go on? Do you think Stitch knows?”

  “I don’t know who all knows, but I plan to find out.”

  “I’m taking care of Craze.”

  “Ryland, I said—”

  “And I said back the fuck off, Sebastian! I need you to do me a favor and wait with her for an hour.”

  He was shaking his head before I finished. “No. No! I brought her back here to you. I’m done watching over her.”

  “Damn it, Sebastian! You own me this!”

  “I think helping her clears me of any and all debt, Ryland!”

  “No, you did that because it’s the right thing to do! Because you’re a fucking human being and because you wouldn’t let any girl be hurt like that. You’re not that kind of douche bag, Sebastian.”

  “You sure didn’t feel that way five damn minutes ago when you were accusing me of being part of date raping your girlfriend.”

  I flinched at his words. “You know I didn’t really mean it like that. I was just pissed off.”

  “You’re always pissed off, Ryland. You need to get over the fact that she left and focus on the reason why she left. She didn’t leave you, little brother. She left because it was the right thing to do for both of you. Stop acting like it was a punishment and stop punishing everyone around you. Including Araya. She’s back and she loves you. Don’t let that go.”

  I wanted to hate Sebastian forever. I wanted to go on blaming him and sulking around, but what he said made sense. Araya hadn’t been trying to hurt me. She thought she was doing what was best for me. Could I really blame her for that?

  “I’ll be back in an hour. Don’t leave her and don’t call any cabs for her. Do you think you can handle that?” I walked to the door and pulled it open.

  “Ryland!” I stopped with the door half open and glanced at him. “Don’t ever accuse me of something like that again.”

  I turned away, jerking open the door. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

  I slammed it shut behind me, but I couldn’t force my feet to move. I wanted to break Craze’s neck for what he’d done to Araya tonight, but I wanted—needed—to stay with her more. I didn’t want her to wake u
p here all alone and not be able to remember what had happened.

  I didn’t say a word to Sebastian as I made my way back to the room. Latching the door softly behind me, I slipped off my shoes and climbed into the bed behind Araya. My body molded to her curves and I slipped my arm around her waist.

  Burying my face into her hair, I breathed in her scent deeply and pulled her tighter against me. I didn’t realize she was awake until she turned in my arms.

  “Ryland?”

  “I’m here, Hummingbird.”

  Her arms slid around me and she pressed closer into me. She nuzzled her face into the curve of my neck, and seconds later, I felt her warm tears against my skin.

  “Hummingbird? What’s wrong? Did anyone hurt you?” I ran my hands down her sides and over her back. She shook her head but didn’t say anything. “Shh, I’m here now.”

  I waited, letting her calm down before I tried to talk to her again. Her body trembled against mine, and when the soft sounds of her sobs subsided, I felt it was safe to continue.

  “What happened tonight, Araya?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t... I don’t remember. Everything’s so fuzzy. I can remember flashes of conversations. Is that normal when you drink? Something was wrong, Ryland. It didn’t feel right—”

  “Shh, Hummingbird, you’re safe now.” I ran my fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her.

  I wanted to tell her that she’d been drugged, but I knew she couldn’t handle it right now. She was barely hanging on to her emotions as it was, so I’d tell her in the morning.

  “When you didn’t show up—”

  “We don’t have to talk about it now, okay? Just get some rest and we’ll talk in the morning.”

  “Okay.” She sighed against my neck and my eyes closed in pleasure.

  It only took minutes for her body to relax against mine. Her sleepy sighs were a sweet lullaby and I felt my body start to drift to the soft sounds. I didn’t know how she knew to go to The Underground, but I realized my destruction had almost been hers as well. Guilt was a brutal and heavy bastard as it settled on my shoulders.

  It was hard to ignore the fact that ever since Araya had met me, something bad was always happening to her. Even if it wasn’t my intention, I was hurting her, pushing the limits of her strength, and if I broke her, I’d never forgive myself.