Endless Love

by Lauren Trevino

  Cat got in line and took off her hat, running her hand through her blond hair to try and tame it.

  After waiting for a few minutes, she was next, and Cat ordered herself a cappuccino. She glanced behind her while she was waiting for it to be made to see if there were any free seats.

  There was a booth in the back corner of the room that would be perfect.

  “Here’s your cappuccino,” the barista said.

  “Thanks.”

  When Cat turned to head over to the table she’d spotted, she bumped into a woman leaving.

  “Sorry,” Cat said reflexively but was startled when her eyes met Emma’s.

  “Caitlin?”

  “Emma…” They stood looking at each other until Cat snapped out of it. “Do you want to join me?”

  Emma was clearly on her way out. She had her jacket buttoned up and her scarf wrapped around her neck.

  She hesitated for just a second before agreeing. “Sure. I’ll just be a minute,” Emma said, tucking a lock of black hair behind her ear. “I might as well get another coffee.”

  Cat smiled. “Okay. I’ll be in that booth in the corner.”

  Cat made her way over to the booth and left down her coffee as she unbuttoned her coat and took off her scarf. This wasn’t exactly the way she planned on seeing Emma, but she was just glad to have another chance to talk to her.

  A few minutes later Emma sat down across from her.

  “So, you’re back in town?” Emma asked as she took off her scarf.

  “I was at home for Thanksgiving and thought I might spend a few days here before I go back to L.A.”

  “How’s your mom and dad?”

  “They’re good,” Cat said. “I haven’t seen them as much as I’d like lately so I wanted to spend more than a day or two there.”

  A moment of awkward silence passed between them and they both reached for their mugs.

  “So… Did you get my message?” Cat asked.

  “I did.”

  “Okay…”

  “I didn’t know what to say,” Emma admitted with a frustrated sigh. “It was good to see you too, but I don’t know… We weren’t on the same page. Seeing you again… It was confusing more than anything. It was like no time had passed but at the same time everything was different.”

  Cat nodded. “I know… I was hoping you’d come to my gig that night. I was looking forward to spending a bit more time with you before I had to leave.”

  “I was there.”

  “You were? I went out to find Jeff after I’d gotten changed and I didn’t see you.”

  “I’d already left,” Emma said, sipping her coffee.

  “Oh.”

  “I did want to talk to you though. I went backstage but… You were otherwise engaged.”

  Cat looked at Emma with a blank expression until she realized what she was talking about. “I see…”

  “And I was foolish enough to think that there was still something between us,” Emma said, her voice as icy as the sidewalk outside.

  “That wasn’t… She just… It’s been a long time since a woman approached me,” Cat said, trying to defend herself. “It just happened. I wasn’t looking for it.”

  Emma nodded. “I was just taken aback… I went on a date with her a few years ago. Not that it went anywhere… I was just surprised to see the two of you...”

  “I’ve thought about you a lot in the last few weeks… And what I said the last time I saw you, I meant. I haven’t met anyone who could compare to you and I don’t think I ever will.”

  “But nothing’s changed really. We’re still on opposite sides of the country and even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t fit into your lifestyle now,” Emma said as she took a sip of her coffee. “Don’t get me wrong Caitlin. I’m so happy that this is finally happening for you. I really am but I don’t think we’re ever going to work.”

  “I know… I just wanted you to know how I felt.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back,” Emma said. “I wanted to, but I didn’t know what I could possibly say. I couldn’t have had this conversation with you over the phone.”

  Cat nodded. “Well, at least we know where we stand.” She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. She wasn’t expecting this conversation to take the turn it had.

  “Right,” Emma said with a weak smile. “I better get going. I have a lot to do today.”

  “Sure. Thanks for having coffee with me.”

  “Enjoy the rest your time in Philadelphia,” Emma said as she put on her jacket and scarf.

  “I will,” Cat said, hoping her smile masked her true emotions.

  Cat watched Emma leave and wondered how that just happened. She hadn’t seen that coming.

  She didn’t think they would just get back together but she thought they could at least spend some time together and see where it went.

  Cat pulled out her journal and pen, her favorite coping mechanism, and started writing down her thoughts.

  Chapter 14

  Emma ordered herself and Tori another drink. She didn’t normally go out during the week, but she needed to talk to Tori.

  “So, are you ready to tell me what’s going on with you?” Tori asked as she brought her bottle of beer to her lips. “Thanks for the drink by the way.”

  “No problem… I bumped into Caitlin earlier today. Literally… At the coffee shop.”

  “What? She’s back in town? Is Jeff with her?”

  Emma’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Can we focus on me here for just a second?”

  “Sure.”

  “Yes, she’s back in town. Probably for just a few days. I don’t know. I didn’t ask her. She was in Pittsburgh with her family for Thanksgiving.”

  “And now she’s here?” Tori asked. “It’s not exactly down the road. Maybe she has a gig lined up or something?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Let’s find out,” Tori said as she looked it up on her phone. “No… No gigs. Nothing that I can see.”

  “Right. So, I don’t know how long she’s here for.”

  “She’s probably here to see you.”

  “Me?” Emma asked.

  “Yeah. You… Why else would she be here?”

  Emma sighed. “She may have said some stuff…”

  “Like what?”

  “Something like ‘I haven’t met anyone who could compare to you and I don’t think I ever will.’”

  “What’d you say?” Tori asked, bracing herself for Emma’s answer.

  “I don’t know… Something about how we couldn’t possibly work.”

  “You’re unbelievable.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. You have another shot with maybe the love of your life and you’re being all practical saying stuff like ‘It’s never going to work.’ Why not just go with it? See what happens?”

  “And get my heart broken all over again?” Emma asked with a sarcastic laugh. “I don’t think so.”

  “If I have this story right, you were the one doing the heart breaking and it sounds like you’re at it again.”

  “We live on opposite sides of the country. Her job now involves touring and promotion. A new city every few days. How would I fit into that? Maybe if we had some sort of a base first but to start off like that…After all these years… It would never work.”

  “Emma, Emma, Emma…” Tori shook her head.

  “Why are you being so dramatic?”

  “I’m not. I just can’t believe this is your attitude towards Cat.”

  “It’s not her… It’s the situation. I’ve always-”

  Tori leaned forward, waiting for her to finish her sentence. “You’ve always what…”

  “Loved her,” Emma said in almost a whisper.

  “Then just talk to her… Spend time with her while she’s here. Be friends first if that’s what it takes for you to feel comfortable.”

  “What if it’s too late?”

  “It’s not. Text her. Tell her you’re out and se
e if she’ll join you… or us if you think that will help. Oh, and see if Jeff’s around,” Tori added.

  “Are you being serious?”

  “No… Of course not… I’ll ask her myself,” Tori finished.

  Emma rolled her eyes as she took out her phone and thought about what to say.

  Hi. I really enjoyed having coffee with you earlier. Sorry if I was a bit on edge. It’s been stressful at work lately. Are you free tonight? I’m out having drinks with Tori right now if you’d like to join us?

  Emma pressed send and then wished there was a way that she could take it back.

  Tori read over her message after Emma made a face. “It’s fine. You’re just overthinking this. See what she says.”

  Less than five minutes later, Emma’s phone lit up.

  Sure, I need a break from this song I’m working on. Drinks would be great, and it’d be nice to see Tori again. Where are you guys?

  Emma replied with the name of the bar and address and took a deep breath.

  “I need to go make sure I look okay,” Emma said as she stood up.

  “And another beer?” Tori asked.

  “That would be great. Thanks. I’ll be back in five minutes.”

  ***

  Emma stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom and tried to calm her nerves. She wished she’d worn something else tonight. She’d dressed to meet Tori for a few drinks, not to see Caitlin.

  She was wearing dark skinny jeans, black boots, and a light gray sweater that at least showed off her figure. Her jet-black hair was down and straight, falling just below her shoulders.

  She touched up her smokey eye makeup and took one last look in the mirror before she went back out to the bar.

  Emma was surprised to see Tori and Caitlin laughing, sitting side by side at the bar.

  “Hey,” Emma smiled as she joined them. “You mustn’t have been too far away.”

  “My hotel’s around the corner,” Caitlin said warmly. “I’m glad you guys weren’t on the other side of town. It’s absolutely freezing out there.”

  “What are you drinking?”

  “A whiskey and coke.”

  Emma sat down beside Caitlin and ordered her drink. Tori was showing Caitlin some photos she took last weekend of New York in the snow.

  “Here you go,” Emma said as she handed Caitlin her drink.

  “Thanks.”

  “So, what brings you back to Philadelphia?” Tori asked, ignoring the stare that Emma was giving her.

  “I went home to Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving and I thought, while I have some free time, I’d spend a few days here. It’s good to get away from L.A. every once and a while. I missed the snow too.”

  “I have a wedding in the morning and I’m hoping that there won’t be much more snow overnight,” Tori said. “There’s the perfect amount out there right now. Just enough to make the trees look beautiful and cover the ground. Any more and it becomes treacherous trying to lug around equipment.”

  “I can imagine,” Caitlin said as she brought her tumbler to her lips.

  “So, I have an early start tomorrow,” Tori said as she stood up. “But it was really nice to see you again. I’m glad that you could use some of my photos.”

  “They were great. It was hard to narrow it down to just a few.”

  “Enjoy the rest of your night,” Tori said as she put on her coat and gloves. “I wish I could stay.”

  “Bye,” they called after her.

  Emma hadn’t expected her to leave so soon but it would be nice for just her and Caitlin to have a chance to talk and maybe she could fix what she’d done earlier.

  “She seems like a great friend,” Caitlin said with a smile.

  “She is.”

  “You’re lucky to have her.”

  “She uh… She made me text you tonight,” Emma said as she took a drink. “And she made me realize how much I screwed up.”

  “When?”

  “Earlier today… The other night… Ten years ago. All of it.” Emma met Caitlin’s piercing blue eyes. “Is there any way we could start over?”

  Emma studied Caitlin’s face, trying to read her reaction to what she’d just said. She couldn’t decipher her expression.

  “Yeah,” Caitlin said with a warm smile. “I’d like that.”

  “So, you’re around for a few days?”

  “Yes. December is completely free. I might not even go back before Christmas. I’ll probably spend some more time with my parents and work on some songs. I was just asked to sing at the tree lighting tomorrow. Are you free?”

  “Wow that’s great,” Emma said, bringing her drink to her lips. “Yeah. I’ll be there.”

  “I’ll just be singing one or two Christmas songs, flicking the switch and then I’m free for the rest of the night… Do you want another drink?”

  “I better not. I have to be in early tomorrow.”

  They chatted for a few minutes while Caitlin finished her drink. They talked about their days in college because that was an easy topic. They had been mostly good memories.

  “At least we have tomorrow night to look forward to,” Caitlin said as she stood up and slipped into her coat.

  “Can I walk you back to your hotel?”

  “Sure.”

  They left the bar, all bundled up and ready to face the bitter cold. They ended up linking arms as they walked side by side down the sidewalk after Emma had slipped a few times.

  “This is me,” Caitlin said as they stood outside the door of her hotel.

  Emma was freezing but she wished she didn’t have to say goodnight. “So… I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

  “Yeah. Sleep well,” Caitlin said, stuffing her hands in her coat pockets.

  Emma wasn’t sure whether she should hug her or not. Everything was strange now. They were friendly, but not friends, and she didn’t dare think about kissing her.

  Well, she thought about it, but she wasn’t going to actually do it. She wasn’t going to rush this.

  “You too,” Emma said with a smile as she watched Caitlin head inside. She turned to flag down a taxi and get home.

  Chapter 15

  The atmosphere around the city was fantastic. Snow flurries fell slowly from the sky as hundreds of people watched Cat Stone perform and then turn on the lights along with the mayor and a few sports stars.

  Emma found Caitlin afterwards huddled around a heater that was behind the stage.

  “Hey,” Emma said as she turned the corner and saw her.

  “Hi,” Caitlin said as she looked up to meet Emma’s green eyes. “I don’t know how I finished that song. My fingers were going numb,” she said as she held her hands up to the heat.

  “You were amazing… as usual.”

  “Thanks. So, what do you want to do for the rest of the night?” Caitlin asked as she rubbed her hands together.

  “I don’t mind. Maybe check out the Christmas Market?”

  “Sure. I’m actually starving. There’s supposed to be some good food stalls there.”

  “Alright, let’s go,” Emma said as Caitlin put her gloves back on and slipped her arm through hers like they’d done last night.

  Emma realized her sudden Christmas cheer had everything to do with Caitlin. She’d become a bit of Grinch over the last few years. Tori and her usually enjoyed being grump about the holidays together, but not this year.

  Emma felt the holiday cheer start to seep through the walls she’d been building up over the years.

  Strolling through the streets together like they used to brought back a lot of memories and for the first time, Emma could look back at them without feeling depressed.

  She knew that things might never work out with Caitlin like the way that they had when they were first together but just having that closure and knowing that they could be friends really lifted her spirits.

  “Do you mind if I get something to eat?” Caitlin asked her.

  “No not at all. I might get a coffee. I need something to war
m me up.”