Endless Love

by Lauren Trevino

  “I’ll meet you over there by those tables,” Caitlin said, pointing down a little lane where it was quiet and there were a few tables and chairs set up.

  “Okay,” Emma said as she went to find a hot cup of coffee.

  A few minutes later, they were sitting down, and Caitlin was finishing off the hot pretzel she’d gotten. Emma’s hands were wrapped around her cup to keep them warm.

  The lane above them was decorated with white faerie lights and Emma was happy to get away from the crowds for a few minutes and have Caitlin all to herself.

  “So, what do your parents think of your new-found fame?” Emma asked as she sipped her coffee.

  “I’d hardly call it fame but yeah… They’re really happy for me. Worried too… Although they won’t say it. I can tell.”

  “They have a point though.”

  “Why?” Caitlin asked.

  “Well, I just mean… You’re putting your music first and potentially leaving your personal life behind.”

  Caitlin nodded. “I know… I do plan on figuring it out, but I just don’t see any point in sabotaging myself before I even get started.”

  “You know where I’m coming from though, right? You were always so proud of who you were… Now you’ve changed your name, you’re back in the closet. I have to say, I’m worried about you too… I’m worried that after all this, you’re still not going to be happy. And that’s all I want… To see you happy,” Emma said with a weak smile.

  Caitlin returned her smile. “You were always the sensible one…,” she said as she shook her head. “But maybe tonight, being here with you… I can be myself,” Caitlin said as she stood up and held out her hand for Emma.

  “What are you doing?” Emma asked as she stood beside her.

  “What I’ve wanted to do for years…,” Caitlin said as she cupped Emma’s cheek and closed the gap between them, pressing her lips softly against Emma’s.

  Emma was taken aback. She hadn’t seen this coming at all, but her eyes fluttered shut as Caitlin’s lips met hers.

  Emma parted her lips against Caitlin’s, their lips still fitting together so easily even after all these years.

  Emma’s hands moved to Caitlin’s waist to steady herself. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

  The cold that Emma held felt just a few moments ago, was long gone. A warmth ran through her body as she kissed Caitlin back, parting her lips, in search of her tongue.

  Caitlin’s tongue met hers and the ground shifted under Emma’s feet.

  Caitlin’s hand moved to Emma’s neck, slipping inside her scarf, sending a tingling sensation through her body with just the slightest touch.

  When Caitlin’s lips left hers, her eyes slowly opened as she met Caitlin’s stunning blue eyes.

  Emma felt herself getting lost in those eyes. Again. How did I think there was ever going to be anyone else?

  They held their gaze for a few moments, neither one of them willing to break the spell that they seemed to be under.

  Emma finally broke the silence. “So, you’ve wanted to do that for years?” she asked with a smile tugging at her swollen lips.

  “Yes,” Caitlin breathed. “I hope I didn’t cross a line…”

  “No. You had the courage to do what I’ve only daydreamed about.”

  Caitlin nodded as she wrapped her arm around Emma’s waist and they started walking back toward the market.

  “I know now what you meant when you said it was like no time had passed but at the same time everything’s different,” Caitlin said as they moved through the crowd. “I didn’t get that before but that’s exactly how I feel now.”

  “It’s hard to believe this is what we were doing eleven years ago when I brought you home to meet my parents… I don’t know where the time’s gone, but I think I’m finally okay with it all.”

  “You are?” Caitlin asked as they continued walking.

  “I mean, I still regret not coming with you, but I think I’m starting to feel okay about the way things worked out. Maybe it had to happen that way… We both needed to be apart to realize what we had was something rare.”

  “Maybe… As hard as it’s going to be,” Caitlin said as she reached for Emma’s gloved hand. “Do you think could we take things slow this time around?”

  “Yeah… I was already thinking the same thing.”

  They spent the rest of the night wandering through the markets and then went for a drink.

  At the end of the night, they both got taxis because they were heading in opposite directions. They hadn’t kissed again but Emma was happy going home.

  For the first time in a long time, she was feeling optimistic.

  Chapter 16

  Cat woke up feeling slightly groggy. She’d had another drink when she got back to the hotel and sat in the bar writing for a while.

  Something was buzzing but it took her a second to realize it was her phone, somewhere in the bed, vibrating.

  Cat patted down the sheets until she found it and unlocked the screen.

  Jeff had called her eight times already and it wasn’t even 9 a.m., 6 a.m. in Los Angeles.

  Cat’s mind started to race, wondering what could possibly be wrong. She hoped that his family were alright, their friends.

  She couldn’t imagine what could be so important, so urgent, at this time of the day. It must be bad news.

  Cat called him back as she sat up in bed and ran a hand through her blond hair.

  “Jeff? What’s going on?”

  “Have you been online yet this morning?”

  “No. I just woke up.”

  “Just search your name and call me back. We need to come up with a plan.”

  “Okay…”

  Cat hung up the phone, even more confused now. What was she going to see online?

  Cat went into a few social media apps on her phone and they all returned the same thing when she searched for her name.

  There were photos of Cat kissing Emma everywhere.

  Shit.

  Cat took a deep breath. Part of her didn’t think this was a big deal. It could even be a good thing. She could start being herself again.

  But the other part of her knew that this could be a disaster. She called Jeff back.

  “Hi…”

  “Well?”

  “Well, what? It is what it is…”

  “Cat, you know that I love you and that I have no problem whatsoever with you being gay.”

  “I know Jeff.”

  “The thing is, it doesn’t matter what you or I think. The record label matters and they are not going to be happy. I’ve been putting them off for the last two hours. We need to figure out what we’re going to say.”

  “What is there to say…”

  “I don’t know. That it’s not what it looks like. That she kissed you. That you were drunk… Something like that.”

  “I’m not going to lie. I’ve already done enough of that,” Cat said. She was already getting frustrated by this conversation.

  “Cat, this is serious. They could drop you unless you say something along those lines and even then, they could still terminate your contract.”

  “And what if they did? Would that be the worst thing in the world?”

  “Uh yes… Cat, are you hearing yourself? This is what you’ve been dreaming of for years. You need to salvage this situation or are you too love-struck to care?”

  Cat felt like she’d just been slapped in the face.

  “Yes, I care. I just don’t see why…” Cat swallowed the lump in her throat, the tears in her eyes threatening to fall.

  “You know I’m talking to you as your manager right now, okay? You know I think this is insane and I really wish that you could just be you but if you want this deal… if you want country music to keep promoting your music, you’re going to have to deny that there’s anything going on in those photos.”

  “How much time do I have to think about this?” Cat asked him.

  “Ten minutes
. My phone has been blowing up since four a.m.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “As your manager, the only decision you have to make is what you’re going to say. Do you want to say it was Emma or do you want to say you were drunk?”

  Cat wiped away a tear that trickled down her cheek.

  “Cat, are you still there?”

  “Yeah… I’m here,” she answered in almost a whisper.

  “What’s it going to be?”

  “Both,” Cat said after a stalling for a few more seconds. “Say it was her and that I was too drunk to realize what was happening… There’s no video, right?”

  “No.”

  “Good… You can say it was just a brief kiss and that I pushed her away as soon as I knew what was going on.”

  “Okay… Cat, I know this is hard but you’re so close… You just need another year. A real tour, a new album maybe… Then you can think about coming out.”

  “I know…”

  “I gotta go sort this out.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll talk to you later okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “Oh, and one other thing. A few of the bigger media sites have picked up on this… There’s probably going to be some paparazzi following you around. You might want to stay in the hotel.”

  “Okay. Thanks for the heads up.”

  “Bye.”

  Cat hung up and let the tears fall. In just a few seconds, she completely lost it. She curled up into a ball under the covers and cried until there were no more tears left.

  What have I done?

  Chapter 17

  Emma woke up with a smile on her face and got ready for work with a spring in her step.

  The hotel was busy, but she didn’t mind. She was in too good of a mood to let anything ruin her day.

  Tori sent her a text to confirm that she was free to meet Emma for a coffee in the afternoon when she’d finished shooting the wedding.

  Emma waited until then to go on her lunch break. She was anxious to see Tori and tell her about last night.

  When Emma arrived at the coffee shop after trudging through the slush that covered the sidewalks, she found Tori sitting in their usual spot beside the window.

  “Hey,” Emma said with a warm smile.

  “Hi.”

  Emma couldn’t figure out Tori’s expression. It was a mixture of concern and sadness, her eyebrows furrowed, her eyes scrutinized Emma’s every move.

  “What’s going on? Everything okay?” Emma asked as she took off her coat and sat down across from her.

  “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

  “Okay…”

  “You go first,” Tori said softly.

  Emma took a deep breath. “Well… Caitlin kissed me last night.”

  “Have you talked to her since?”

  Emma opened her mouth and closed it again. That’s her reaction?! Not, ‘Wow’ or ‘I’m so happy for you.’

  “Has she called you?” Tori asked.

  “No… I sent her a text this morning… Tori, why are you being so weird? I just gave you some monumental news and you’re sitting there like I told you it’s cold outside. You’re supposed to be happy for me.”

  Tori nodded. “So, you haven’t heard…”

  “Heard what?” Emma asked, feeling like they were having two completely different conversations.

  “You might as well just see it,” Tori said as she took out her phone and found what she was looking for, then passed it to Emma.

  Emma’s eyes scanned over the headline, not completing taking it in but she knew that it had something to do with Caitlin. Her eyes jumped to the photo.

  There was Caitlin, leaning in to kiss her, both of their profiles clearly visible in the image. She flicked onto the next one to see Caitlin’s hand cupping her cheek, while her own were now on Caitlin’s waist.

  Emma’s heart pounded in her chest as she scrolled back up to the headline.

  Is Cat Stone A Lesbian?

  The singer, songwriter shares an intense kiss under the lights with mystery woman.

  Emma couldn’t bring herself to read through the rest of the article. She felt sick.

  “So, she hasn’t gotten in touch with you?” Tori asked again.

  Emma shook her head. She tried to think back to the night before. How had anyone seen them and taken those photos? They’d been alone in that alley.

  “Okay, well…” Tori paused. “It gets worse,” she said as Emma passed her the phone.

  Emma watched Tori scroll through her phone and met her eyes as she handed it back to her.

  Emma couldn’t imagine what would be worse than that but then she knew what Tori meant.

  Cat Stone Denies She’s Gay.

  ‘It was a misunderstanding and I’d had a lot to drink that night.’

  Emma’s vision became blurred by the tears that were threatening to fall from her green eyes.

  She scanned through the article, unable to read it word for word. She looked for direct quotes from Caitlin.

  ‘It was a brief moment of confusion that just happened to be caught on camera. This whole thing has been blown out of proportion.’

  Emma left the phone down on the table and pushed it across the wood surface to Tori.

  Emma leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table, and covered her face in her hands.

  “Emma, you know I care about you but… You had to see this coming,” Tori said softly.

  “I didn’t,” Emma whispered as she left her hands down.

  “Cat’s on the rise and country music loves her. She’s never going to be able to be herself if she wants that attention… that fan base.”

  “I can’t believe I thought that we were going somewhere… I mean she said… ‘Let’s take it slow this time.’ She was thinking ahead.”

  “Yeah, until you guys got caught,” Tori said. “She was probably willing to get back with you as long as it was a secret.”

  “I can’t believe this is happening.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “What can I do?” Emma asked. “I’m not doing that… being her secret girlfriend. This is exactly the kind of drama that I don’t want to be dealing with. I just want a normal, healthy relationship.”

  “Don’t we all…”

  Chapter 18

  Cat dialed Emma’s number again. As soon as she’d hung up the phone this morning and told Jeff what to say, she’d regretted it, but she hadn’t gotten in touch with Emma.

  Just when Cat had stopped crying, her phone buzzed, and Emma’s name lit up her screen.

  Emma had sent her a text saying how much fun she’d had last night and that she hoped that they’d see each other again soon.

  Cat had reread the message and started bawling all over again. It wasn’t until the early afternoon, after a whisky and coke and a shower that she managed to find the courage to call Emma.

  Except she wasn’t answering…

  Cat tried not to overreact. She was probably just busy at work. She’d called Emma twice in the last hour.

  I’ll try again tonight, when she’s home.

  Cat wondered what the chances were that Emma had seen the photos and Cat’s statement afterward.

  Emma didn’t seem like she was into social media. Her phone was a few years old and Cat had only seen her use it for calls or texts, not to post photos or update her status.

  There was a chance that Emma didn’t know about all this. That was the best Cat could hope for, but that didn’t stop her from pacing her hotel room.

  She’d followed Jeff’s instructions and hadn’t left the hotel. She didn’t know what to do with herself. She was restless and not being able to get in touch with Emma was making her anxious.

  She needed to tell her what was going on if she didn’t already know and then she needed to apologize.

  Cat was sticking to her guns just like she had ten years ago and putting her music first.

  She really hoped
that Emma would be able to understand that.

  Chapter 19