Charged for His Sins

by Natavia

  The palms of Zu’s hands remained on my inner thighs as he withdrew from me. He surged forward into me with one long stroke until his balls slapped against my ass. I couldn’t help but moan as his big, long dick almost reached my throat.

  “Oh God,” I moaned out in pleasure as I fisted the comforter tightly in my hands. Zu thrust in and out of me reaching the spot that caused me to scream out. When he felt my pussy getting wetter, he slammed into my spot. I almost screamed out but he kissed my lips.

  “Ssshhhh, you know Adisa’s nosey ass hears everything,” Zu whispered into my ear as he continued to grind into my gushy-like spot. My legs trembled when he went deeper, he knew I was ready to explode. His mouth captured my harden nipple, “ZUUUUUUUUUUUU,” I moaned as my back arched off of the bed. He wasn’t done, he pinned my legs up then slid further into me causing me to gasp.

  “Too deep,” I moaned but he ignored me. He plunged his girth inside of me, I came even harder. I felt my essence trickle down my crack and onto the sheets. Every time Zu splashed into me, my essence poured out. I felt him throbbing when he hammered away, I sounded like a siren as I exploded. Zu sped up his pace while fucking me harder and deeper causing my legs to shake,

  “ARRGHHHHHHHHHH! FUCK!” he said out loud when he exploded inside of me. Zu and I didn’t use condoms because I was on birth control. I promised myself that I wasn’t having any kids until I was done with college. I was adamant to finish school and make something out of my life. Zu laid on top of me, he kissed my forehead then tickled me.

  “Stop it,” I laughed.

  “I love you, Sam,” he said to me.

  “I love you too,” I said kissing his nose.

  “Wake me up before your mother gets home. I’m tired as fuck. York had me smoking some kush that I have never smoked before,” Zu said.

  “That explains your performance tonight,” I said to him. Zu sat up, “Wait a minute now shorty, my performance is A1 all the time,” he bragged.

  I got up then went into the bathroom down the hall, I took another quick shower. I hated the feeling of nut seeping out of my vagina after sex. After my hot shower, I moisturized my body again. I heard Adisa yelling at someone on the phone. I wrapped a towel around me then put my head against York’s old room door.

  “Fuck you too! I’m sick of your shit!” Adisa cried into the phone. I knocked on the door, she opened the door with tears running down her face.

  “What’s the matter with you? Is everything okay?” I asked her.

  “Yes, Jamir is tripping on me again,” Adisa cried. Jamir was Adisa’s old boyfriend. The one she lost her virginity to. I didn’t like him, he was a rich kid and played on a football team. He had that “I’m the shit and you know it” attitude.

  “You want to jump him?” I asked then she wiped her eyes. She looked me up and down, “I heard your nasty ass too. I was starting to join,” Adisa said.

  “Don’t make me kick your ass, Adisa. You know I don’t play when it comes to Zu,” I mushed her.

  “Oh hush, I rather screw you then screw a nigga that darn bright. I like my men burnt,” Adisa said.

  “Goodnight, bitch,” I said walking back into my room. When I got into my bed, I wiped Zu’s dick off as he slept peacefully. I set my alarm clock for ten am. My mother worked an hour away, she got off at ten in the morning, but she didn’t make it home until after eleven. Zu only had five hours to sleep.

  My alarm went off, Zu was snoring loudly. I shook him awake, “Get up,” I said to him. He slowly got out of the bed with a morning hard on.

  “No,” I said.

  “You are stingy,” he said going into my drawer where I kept a few of his items. I have been sneaking Zu into my room since I was sixteen and never got caught. He put his boxers and his shorts on, “A nigga can’t even wash his dick,” Zu fussed. I admired his body, he wasn’t big and bulky. He was cut up and lean, but his weight was solid. Zu looked heavier than what he was, he had tattoos all over his chest and stomach. He had more on his back. Almost all the hood boys were tatted up, they had tattoos parties almost every weekend. I even got one on my inner thigh with Zu’s initials.

  Zu grabbed his toothbrush then went into the bathroom. After he freshened up, he kissed me goodbye before he left out of the door. I threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I headed downstairs to the kitchen, there was a knock on the back door. I opened it up, standing there was a skinny frail man with an ashy face. His hands looked like they didn’t match his body because of how swollen they were. His teeth were rotten and a few were missing. He had tape around his shoes, it was summer time and he was dressed like it was winter. His clothes were filthy and his hat had holes in it, he reeked of rat urine. I covered my mouth to keep from puking, his face was so dirty you couldn’t make out his features. Every time I saw him he reminded me of, Pig Pen from the Charlie Brown cartoon.

  “York isn’t here, but didn’t he tell you to stop coming here?” I asked him.

  “Baby, don’t do your father like that. I know York might have something stashed in here,” he said trying to push his way in. I pushed him out of the way, “Stop coming around here, this is no longer your home. York will never keep shit at our mother’s house. York will never serve you,” I said to my father, Pete. My father was an addict since I could remember, I have never seen him sober. My mother left him when I was four years old. We barely could remember him. I didn’t know what my mother was thinking. She said my father wasn’t always that way but I wouldn’t know. I don’t feel anything for him, he’s like a stranger to me. My mother said he got on drugs after his brother was gruesomely murdered in front of him. My mother told us that my father and his brother were heavyweight drug dealers. My mother kicked York out of the house when she found out he was slinging drugs, she was afraid that he was going to end up like our father. York still came over when he wanted to. He and our mother still had a bond, she just never accepted money from him.

  “Can I borrow that necklace around your neck? Please, baby, your Pops is sick,” he said with tears in his eyes. I even heard rumors how my father got caught sucking dick in the alley. I wished that God called him home so he wouldn’t suffer. My father was so gone that he would’ve been better off dead. The way he lived his life was torture, no human being should ever endure that kind of pain. I could see the bones in his face, tears filled my eyes as I stared at a man that should’ve been helping my mother raise us. He should’ve been my protector, but all he was is a junkie.

  I grabbed a box of chicken left over from the party that was on the counter. I gave it to him then he grew angry, “Bitch, do I look like I want some damn chicken? I need to get high, this shit isn’t even heated up,” he seethed.

  “Stay away from here,” I said to him. He threw the chicken box into my face, “You little fat bitch, you eat it!” he said to me. My father would curse York and me out when he saw us because we didn’t get him high. He even busted York’s window out of his Cadillac. My father ended up in the hospital for a week after that because York whipped his ass.

  I held my nose, he hurriedly yanked the necklace from around my neck then took off running. I laughed to keep from crying, he took me and Adisa’s friendship necklace. She had one too, we had them since we were fourteen.

  “What’s wrong, Bestie?” Adisa asked as she walked towards me. I tried to blink away the tears threatening to fall. I told her what happened, she hugged me tightly in her arms for a second then pulled back and whipped my tears away before they could fall all the way down my face. Adisa knew how much I wanted my father around growing up and for him to fight his addiction. But, I gave up on wanting him to be clean a long time ago. Everything else was just wishful thinking on my part.

  “Don’t worry about it, it was time to upgrade them anyway. That one was high school, now it’s time to get our college ones. We’ll get one when we go back to work. Now go make your mother’s breakfast and I’ll clean up this chicken before I leave.”

  Sometimes Adisa went home t
o shower as my mother and I had our times together, and other times she stayed. I went into the kitchen to make breakfast for my mother as Adisa cleaned up the chicken on the floor. After she trashed it, she went home.

  My mother knew how Adisa’s home life was so sometimes they had brunch together without me after my mother had her morning nap. That’s just the type of person my mother is, she couldn’t stand to see anyone hurting and not do anything about it. I have seen her give her last to a family in need and go without because of it. I sat two plates down filled with Denver omelettes, hash browns and sausages on the table just as I heard my mother walk into the house. My mother’s 5’4 with chocolate kissed skin and she was thick like me. She wore a size eighteen, but her body was perfectly proportioned.

  “Whew sweetie my feet are killing me,” my mother said as she sat down in her chair at the table. I poured both of us a glass of orange juice.

  “Don’t worry mama, Imma make sure you don’t have to do this anymore as soon as I finish college,” I replied.

  I hated to see her like that. Sometimes I wished she would just take some money from York. But on the other hand I admired her strength, and determination to do it on her own all the while sticking by her beliefs, never wavering.

  “Don’t worry about me sweetie Imma be fine as long as you are good.” My mother said as I got up from my seat then went over to hug her. We laughed and talked as we ate until I noticed my mother nodding off.

  “Go to bed Ma I got this,” I said as I picked up our empty dishes and put them in the dishwasher that York had snuck and brought in a few months prior. He told my mother he had lost the receipt when she tried to get him to take it back.

  “I need you and Adisa’s help at seven to get me ready for my date,” my mother said, and I almost dropped the cups I had in my hands. She hadn't gone on a date since I was in middle school.

  “Okay, Adisa and I will be in the house at seven to help you.” I finally said to her once I snapped out of my shock, as she walked towards the kitchen door.

  “Oh and tell Zuberi he can stay to speak sometime without rushing out before I get home. The two of you are not fooling anybody, but York and that's just because he doesn't want to see it. And don’t feel like you have to hide shit from me again. I want to hear what's going on from you, not the neighbors.” My mother said before leaving out of the kitchen and I felt bad because I told my mother everything. At the same time, I felt relieved because I didn't have to keep the secret from my mother anymore, but I wanted to be the one to tell her instead of the new neighbors.

  Someone had bought the house next door that sat empty since I was in high school a couple of months back. The woman was a nosey stay at home mom who watched my house and stopped my mother on her way in from work to tell her everything that I did while she was at work. I hurried upstairs to get dressed after starting the dishwasher, Zu had text me telling me to meet him around the block in a few.

  Two hours later, Zu and I sat a Red Lobsters. He was quiet; Zu was always cracking slick at the mouth. After the waitress took our food and drink orders, I slightly kicked him under the table, “What’s the matter with you?” I asked him.

  “Nothing, shorty I’m good,” he stated. Our drinks came along with the biscuits. I grabbed a biscuit then sat it down on his small plate in front of him.

  “I love these biscuits,” I said biting into it. Zu smiled at me, “I like to see my shorty happy,” he said. I was happy to see him back to his normal self. Thirty minutes later, our food came. Zu’s phone rang, he pressed the button on the side to silence it.

  “What was that about?” I asked him.

  “Some nigga’s from school hitting me up,” he said.

  I continued to eat quietly, “I’m going to take this to go. You have been acting strange and I don’t like it,” I said to him. His phone rang again, he finally answered it. It looked like tears welled up in his eyes. I had never seen Zu emotional like that before, he said a few words then told the caller he was on his way.

  He waved the waitress over for the check. He placed four twenties on the table then asked for a to-go box when she handed him the check. After I bagged my food, I snatched my purse off the table and headed towards the door. Zu followed behind me, I stood at the passenger’s side door of his black two-door Deville until he unlocked the door. I slammed the door when I got inside of the car. I waited for him to get inside the car, “I’m going to slap you if you don’t tell me what the hell is going on,” I said to him.

  “I fucked up, shorty,” he said.

  “Fucked up how?” I asked him.

  “Listen to me Sam, I love you and I never meant to hurt you,” he said. Tears filled my eyes and I started trembling. I knew something horrible was going to come out. I felt it when he first came back home on school break. I slapped him, “What did you do?” I cried hitting him again. He blocked my hits as I swung on him. I was swinging wildly and missing, but I knew Zu was up to no good. I saw it in his eyes when his phone rang.

  “Just tell me Zu,” I said trying to calm myself down. He had long red scratches on his face and his t-shirt was ripped.

  “I got someone pregnant,” he said. My breathing sped up, my world stopped. My chest tightened up as warm tears poured out of my eyes.

  “How could you?” I asked him.

  “Shorty, I’m sorry. I fucked up and I know I did, but I only want you. I fucked her a few times nine months ago, she called me a month ago telling me that I knocked her up. I saw her around campus but I didn’t know it was a possibility because she had a nigga. But when she finally told me the dates added up, it’s a possibility that I might be the father,” he said.

  “I gave myself to you,” I whispered to myself but he heard me.

  “I know and I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do,” he said.

  “I hate you! I fucking hate you! Don’t say shit to me again!” I screamed smashing my food into his face. I got out of his car, and he jogged after me. He held onto me when he caught me, “I need you,” he pleaded.

  “Was that her that called?” I asked him.

  “Yes, she’s in labor,” he said shattering my already broken heart even more.

  “What does she look like?” I asked him.

  “Come on Sam, why the hell are you doing this?” he asked.

  “That’s your baby mama, right? Don’t I have a fucking right to know who she is?” I yelled hitting him with my purse. He showed me a picture of him and her, he had his hand rested on her stomach at the baby shower. I was even more hurt because she was drop-dead gorgeous. I could tell she was slim before her pregnancy. She had long hair with greenish like eyes. I knew she was the IT girl, the girl that niggas around my way lost their minds for.

  “So, I’m just the fat black bitch you fuck whenever you come home from college? That’s how you look at me? Am I ugly to you?” I burst out into tears then walked away. Zu tried to grab me again, but I pulled away from him.

  “Good-bye Zu,” I said to him. Tears filled the brim of his eyes. I turned my back toward him then kept walking until I couldn’t. A part of me was mad because he didn’t chase after me again, but he knew I was stubborn. Zu knew whatever he had said wouldn’t have made me stay. My young heart was so broken after the pieces shattered I was left with nothing.

  I got on the city bus, I sat at the very back. I leaned my head on the window as tears fell from my eyes. I should’ve known that my type couldn’t have a guy as fine as Zu. We had received a lot of stares when we were out on our dates. Maybe it was a sign, maybe Zu needed to be with someone that looked like him. I was going to always love Zu, he was my first love. My cell-phone rang, it was Zu calling me. I ignored his call, he sent me a message begging me to call him. By the time I got home, Zu had called me over twenty-five times along with ten messages. The last message read:

  “Fuck you, Samiah.”

  When I got to my room, I slammed the door then laid in bed. My sheets still smelled like him, I cried even harder. I was suppos
ed to have a great summer with my friends before college. How could I start a new chapter of my life with a broken heart? I repeatedly slammed my face into my pillow as I let out a muffled scream. It hurt so bad because Zu was supposed to be my future husband. I had plans for us after college that we both talked about. I believed him when he told me he wanted me to be his wife after we finished school. I believed him when he told me we were going to have a few kids. I believed the nigga—period. He played me like the biggest fool. A voice in my head told me to put on my Timbs, and get gutta with him. I ignored that devious inner-being I had inside of me because I didn’t want to get locked up.

  “You ain’t gotta’ worry about me, nigga! We are fucking done!” I yelled out loud. I cried myself to sleep with new plans of my life playing inside of my head, and Zu wasn’t in any of it.

  3. Adisa

  Knock. Knock.

  “A disa get dressed your parents have some important people coming over for dinner.” The maid announced from the other side of my room door. My parents didn’t even have the decency to come and tell me about dinner themselves, they sent the maid. I barely talked to my parents unless it was them passing messages along through the maids.