Charged for His Sins

by Natavia

  I glanced at the clock on my bedside table and noticed it was only one in the afternoon. Whenever we had dinner with important people in one of my parent’s professional fields dinner started at four in the afternoon. I took a deep breath as I got out of my bed and headed to my room door. I went to find two maids so that they could help me take my hair down and press it. My mother would have a fit if she saw me wearing my braids to dinner with important people. It took two hours for me and the maids to take down my hair, wash, blow dry and flat iron it. They also put rollers in my hair and by the time we were finished I only had time for a quick shower.

  I put on a black dot doll swing dress with white polka dots and my pearls after I showered. Along with some black flats that had a slight point in them. I took the rollers out of my hair and let my curls fall in place, just as there was a knock at the door.

  “The guest are pulling into the driveway now, your parents want you downstairs waiting at the front door to greet them,” the same maid said. I looked myself over in the mirror as I took a deep breath and straightened up my posture. I had to prepare myself to become someone I wasn’t as I headed out my room then towards the stairs. Once down the stairs, I noticed my parents were already waiting at the front door along with our butler.

  “Adisa what happened to your eye? This is so embarrassing I would’ve canceled dinner and planned it for another time if I knew your eye looked like that. A lady is never supposed to show her face when it looks like that.” My mother fussed at me as her and my father both looked at me, as though they were disgusted in me and my appearance.

  “A spider bit me.” The doorbell rang right after I answered my mother. I got to the other side of my mother and put on a fake smile before the butler opened the door.

  Oh my god, why is he dressed like Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, I thought as I saw the couple my parents were having dinner with, son walk in behind them. He looked like he reached into the television and snatched up Carlton’s clothes. I had to bite my bottom lip to keep myself from laughing as the butler took their suit coats because he looked even worse than before with the coat gone. Although, I had to admit he did look kind of fine and I would jump at the chance to date him if it wasn’t for his clothes.

  “Dinner is ready in the formal dining room, please follow me.” The server announced. We all silently followed behind the server. The butler and maid pulled out everyone’s chairs so we could sit down.

  Everyone was silent as the first course was laid out in front of us. I hated those types of dinners because it still felt like I was all alone in the house. I tuned out my father and the other man as they bragged about their accomplishments while trying to one up one another as I silently ate my meal. I could see my mother and the man's wife were doing the same thing and their son was silently eating as well. I guess we were both strangers to our parents. I figured he dressed and acted the way his parents wanted him to. We were pawns to them, almost like their pets. They showed us off to show their friends how well-behaved we were, but not because they loved us and was proud of us. All the rich folks my parents hung around treated their kids like pets. I hated all of them and wished they rotted in hell.

  “What school are you going to?” Carlton’s wanna be twin asked me out of the blue. I hope he wasn’t trying to start those one up conversations like our parents. “I’m going to Morgan State University,” I answered him as I looked up from my plate.

  “But I want her to go to Harvard because she has the grades,” my father said.

  The only reason why my father wanted me to go to Harvard was because he said I’ll find a good husband there. Someone who would be able to open up some connections that he might need in the future.

  “I am going to Morgan State University as well sir,” he answered.

  I was thankful he got the heat off me, as they started talking about his plans for the future.

  “Dad I am feeling under the weather. May I please be excused?” I asked politely once the conversations stopped. I got an emergency text from Samiah saying she needed me. I politely excused myself to everyone at the table after my father said I could leave.

  I waited until I was halfway up the stairs to stop pretending as if I was sick. I changed into a pair of short shorts, a black tank-top and a pair of Jordans. I text Samiah telling her I was on my way before dumping my phone and keys into my purse. My window was already open, so I climbed out onto the ledge after putting my purse around my neck. I grabbed a hold of the lattice fence attached to the side of the house next to my room and climbed down.

  “Where are you going?” Carlton’s twin scared me half to death. He was behind me as soon as my feet touched the ground.

  “Please don’t tell my parents. I have to go somewhere because my friend needs me,” I practically begged him.

  “Only if you promise to go on a date with me soon and give me your cell number.” He smirked looking cuter than he already did as he bribed me. I agreed and gave him my number before running off towards my car. I would’ve done anything he said at that moment because when Samiah text 911 it meant something was wrong. I did ninety as I sped to her house, and prayed that nothing was wrong with York.

  I was almost to her house when I received another message from her telling me what had happened. I warned her about messing with those light-skinned, pretty boy niggas. I made a U-turn in the street. I headed to the spot Zu and York hung out instead, which was a block over from Samiah’s house. I was kind of hoping Zu was out there, I warned him what would happen if he messed over my girl. Who was I kidding? I wasn’t looking for Zu, I just wanted to see if York was out there before I headed to Samiah’s house. I talked my mess but I knew not to mess with Zu, I always thought he was bipolar or something.

  When I pulled up to the block, I didn’t see Zu but I saw York standing on the corner with Hoppa. Hoppa was also attractive, they called him Hoppa because when he was younger he always hopped the cabs. Hopping cabs is when you jump out of the cab and not pay the cab driver. Hoppa was caramel complexion, and he kept his hair in a short-cut. He had a scar on his face, but it made him appear a little more rugged, he even had a mole on his lip. Hoppa was slim build and was somewhat tall standing at 6’0. He was ruthless in the streets although he was always joking around. York was ruthless too, but he was silent. He had a deadly look in his eyes as if he caught a few bodies before. I actually wouldn’t put it past him. Something about him drove me insane. Maybe it was his hood ways, or maybe it was the way he cared about his mother and sister.

  I stepped out of my car with rap music blasting, I put extra movements in my hips as I walked over to York. I knew I held almost every nigga on the corner attention. My legs glistened from the baby oil I rubbed them down with.

  “Hey, shawwttyyyyyyy,” someone called to me. The stranger was on his dirt bike, and he was a young little cutie. He looked to be around nineteen. I waved back smiling then blew him a kiss. York grilled me, “Yo, what the fuck are you doing down here Adisa?” he asked.

  “I don’t get a hug?” I asked.

  “Why do you have on those little ass shorts? You want some attention or something?” York grilled me.

  “Heyyyy, Hoppa,” I flirted with him as I popped my gum.

  “Hell nawl, Adisa. Don’t hey Hoppa me, don’t put me in the middle of y’all shit. Let me go over here and get that lil’ nappy-headed bitch number real quick. Heyyyyy Tisha! What it do shorty?” Hoppa shouted out as he walked across the street. It was a difference between being natural and not giving a fuck. Tisha didn’t comb her hair at all, but always had a shiny ponytail hanging down her back. You couldn’t tell her she wasn’t the shit. I didn’t like her because she liked York a few years back, but he curved her. I was shocked when I heard he turned her down. While Tisha was talking to Hoppa, she was looking at York and me out the corner of her eyes. I rolled my eyes at her and was ready to say something until I heard York’s voice.

  “You trying to make me mad, huh? You know what you a
re doing. If I choke slam you, would I be wrong? Matter of fact, if I slapped the taste out of your mouth, would I still be wrong? Take yo’ hot ass in the house. I keep telling you to stop coming in the hood like you know the shit,” York fussed at me with anger-filled eyes.

  “Why do you keep playing me, York?” I asked him.

  “Shorty, what are you talking about?” he replied.

  “You know what I’m talking about! You stood me up last night. You keep playing me and I’m sick of it. Muthafucka’s out here think I’m just some girl who is obsessed over you, but that’s not the damn case. We are fucking and have been for quite some time now. Samiah thinks my ex is the one who be having me in my feelings, but it’s your black ass. The secrecy is killing me,” I vented.

  “I keep telling you Adisa, I’m not a relationship type of nigga. I warned you before the first time, you told me you were a big girl and could handle it. You told me all you wanted was the dick and that’s what I have been giving you. Now, you want more? Come on shorty, why you stressing me out?” York asked.

  “Fuck you, York,” I said to him.

  “Whatever baby mama,” he said.

  I hated when he called me that when he and I were alone. I had an abortion months ago, but I didn’t tell anyone else. York felt some sort of way about it, he stated that he didn’t believe in those. After I got one, he started flaunting females in my face. At first, he was discreet about it, but then he stopped caring about my feelings. He brought the girls around me, and Emani was one of them. Samiah thought I was crazy because I fought the girls that he talked to, she didn’t know how deep her brother and I was. I wasn’t the only one who acted out. York shot at a few guys in his hood for trying to talk to me. Samiah thought he was acting like a protective big brother. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I was just one of his many broads he fucked when he wanted to. Our little secret love affair had been going on for almost a year. I loved York, I loved everything about him. It would be a cold day in hell before another woman claimed him. He knew how I felt, but he continued to rub it in my face. Our feelings didn’t come from just fucking, it was something deeper. I told him before that I loved him, but he told me love would’ve made me keep his baby.

  “I hate when you call me that,” I finally stated.

  “Good cause I hate that you did that shit,” he said looking in his phone. I slapped his phone out of his hand when I realized it was a female texting him and cracked the screen.

  “Yooo, I swear I’m not fucking with your dumb-ass anymore. Why do you keep breaking my shit, Adisa? It’s all good, this time it’s coming out of the allowance you get from your parents,” he said picking up his phone.

  “Hoppa told me y’all rich bitches were crazy,” York fussed as he walked to his car.

  “Well, let me be crazy then, York. You ain’t shit but a hoe ass nigga!” I screamed out at him.

  “Be easy baby mama,” he said then laughed. He got in his car then blasted his music, he gave me the finger before he pulled off. Emani was walking up the block with the girl that Samiah and I were fighting.

  “You are by yourself now,” Emani said to me.

  “And? I keep telling y’all bitches don’t let my address fool you,” I said.

  “Come on Emani, York ain’t shit. I’m sick of fighting bitches with you over him,” her friend said then I smiled.

  “Listen to her,” I said to Emani.

  “I’m still screwing York; he was over my house last night. I saw you calling him, I bet you were waiting forever, huh? York might fuck around but when he is with me, he is with me. Bitch, I don’t need to fight you. I got his big, black dick ass wrapped around my finger,” Emani said to me. I brushed her off as I got inside of my car.

  I put my rooftop down and smirked at her, “You only riding his dick because you can’t ride anything else wit’ yo’ walking hoe ass,” I said before I sped off. I knew York was with a bitch and that’s why his lying behind stood me up.

  I parked in front of Samiah’s house. As soon as I stepped out into the street, my phone beeped with a text message. I noticed it was from an unfamiliar number, so I quickly clicked on it. It was the dude that was at my parent’s house and the message read:

  I’ll be there to pick you up at nine from your house tomorrow. -Jaz

  I’ll be ready.

  I hit send right before I walked into the house. I heard Miss Mariah humming away in the kitchen. The kitchen door was slightly open, so I could see the smile on her face as she cooked.

  “Hey, Miss Mariah,” I said to Samiah’s mom.

  “Oh, hey sweetie. How are you? Hold on baby let me take this call. Sam is upstairs in her room,” she said.

  When her phone rang again and her smile got even bigger as she looked at the screen to see who was calling her. I headed straight up the stairs to Samiah’s room.

  Samiah was lying on her back on her bed with her arms wrapped around a teddy bear. Tears were pouring out of her eyes as she stared at the ceiling. Seeing her like that brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t know how bad it was because she didn’t tell me a lot in the text. If I’d known, I would’ve gone to her sooner. Zu and Samiah were always getting into something because of rumors. Zu had black eyes a few times. In most cases, Samiah was always the strongest one, so seeing her like this both angered me and broke my heart.

  I dropped my purse on the dresser and climbed on the bed. I laid next to her and wrapped my arms around her. She laid her head on my shoulder and we cried together, I was dealing with my own issues as well. We cradled each other as I listened to how she felt about everything all the while wishing I could tell her what was really going on with me.

  I didn’t tell her “I told you so” or anything like that because that wasn't my place as her friend. My place was to be there as her friend and listen to her problems. How could I give unwanted advice when York did whatever he wanted? Whatever decision she made should be based on how she felt, and not anyone else including me because I don’t have to live her life. Whatever made her happy is just that in the long run.

  “I just feel like he used me and I feel stupid because I knew he was gone do it the whole time. There is no way someone like him would ever be with anyone like me. My heart feels like it is broken into so many tiny pieces that it can never be put back together again,” Samiah said in between light sobs.

  “Samiah, first off you’re beautiful and anyone would be lucky to be with you. And I don’t think Zu’s light-skinned ass was using you. Yes, he made a mistake but that mistake has nothing to do with how you look and never forget that. Plus, Zu ain’t stupid he knows how York is about you, if he wanted to play somebody trust me, it wouldn’t be you. Now dry your eyes because we are getting drunk tonight after your mother leaves, to say fuck these punk ass niggas,” I announced as I stood up on her bed all the while picturing York in my head as I said it.

  “Bitch if you don’t get off my bed like that with your shoes on,” Samiah said through laughter. She tried to swipe my feet out from under me.

  “My bad girl, I was really feeling my power to the women speech,” I replied after I fell back onto the bed. She was ready to curse me out for making her bounce up, but her phone rang. She looked down at her phone then silenced it. A few seconds later, both our phones rang at the same time.

  When I looked down at mine it was York calling me, I instantly silenced it; I had to be stronger after what I just said to Samiah. I wanted to be done with York that time, but he always found his way back.

  “Lets turn off our phones, go help your mother with her date then get drunk. I saw a few crackheads by the liquor store we can pay to get us something to sip on,” I told Samiah as I turned off my phone before temptation got the best of me.

  Samiah and I helped Miss Mariah get dressed for her date. She wore a black dress that accentuated her curves which hid all the flaws she wanted to hide. Samiah did her hair, and I did her makeup. The doorbell rung just as Miss Mariah was putting on her heels.

&nb
sp; “You want me to go get the door so you can make a grand entrance?” Samiah asked her mother as she headed for the door.

  “No, I need a few dates in with him before I let y’all meet him. If y’all heathens meet him, he’ll never ask me out again.” Miss Mariah said only half-jokingly.

  “We ran your date off one time and that was years ago. You're never gonna let us live it down are you?” I asked Miss Mariah. York had paid us to run Miss Mariah’s date off years ago because he didn’t like the dude and we did it. Truth be told none of us liked him because he always had his nose up when he stepped foot in Miss Mariah’s house. I guess he was one of those folks that thought her house in the hood was too beneath him.

  After Miss Mariah left, Samiah and I grabbed the Gin and cranberry juice that was left over from the party. It was hidden in the back of the pantry. We went to her room and locked the door, turns out we didn’t need to go to the liquor store after all. We passed the bottle back and forth as we listened to SWV’s greatest hits. A few hours later, I was tipsy and high from the blunt Samiah had in her nightstand. We dozed off, but I woke up moments later because I had to use the bathroom. Gin ran through me like water.