Chaotic (Imperfect Perfection)

by Williams, C. A.

  I nodded my head at her, chewing on everything she had just said. I didn’t even know if Nash wanted that type of relationship with me anymore, he hadn’t mentioned anything of the sort to me in awhile. I hadn’t seen him with any other girls, and I didn’t know how I would handle that if I did.

  I must have dozed off after awhile because droplets of water rained down on my skin, making my eyes pop open instantly. I wondered how long I had been laying there because my skin felt like it was being scorched by the sun that was now glaring down on us, and the water didn’t have that chill to it like earlier.

  I felt another sprinkle of droplets hit my foot, so I sat up to find a smirking Nash bobbing in the water by my feet. “What are you doing out here?” I asked, smiling as he shook his head back and forth, looking just like a wet dog with those big brown eyes.

  “Well, I’ve been watching you for awhile. I was out mowing the grass for my mom, and I couldn’t believe you were out here just laying in the sun while it’s so fucking hot. Want to go for a swim?”

  I looked over at Zoey and Callie who had both fallen asleep as well and nodded my head, really needing a cool off. “Sure.” I slid into the water, letting out a loud sigh as it cooled my body down and grinned when Nash splashed me.

  I chased after him as he took off in the opposite direction, creating a typhoon of water around him as he took broad strokes. I looked around for him when the water finally became still and knew what was coming when I couldn’t find him.

  I felt a tug on my ankle seconds later and was pulled under, holding onto his hand as he dragged me back up to the surface. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly as I spit a mouthful of water onto his face. “I just can’t help myself, you’re such an easy target.”

  “It actually felt pretty good thanks. I needed it. I won’t be surprised if I actually end up burning.”

  “I wouldn’t mind helping you rub some aloe on that,” he replied, no smile present upon his face as I stared back at him. I didn’t know if he was joking or not, so I ducked under the water again to avoid him. When I came back up that serious expression was gone as he floated on his back, and I swam to the edge of the raft. “How are your sister and your niece doing?”

  “Good, I was actually thinking of taking Madison to the zoo tomorrow while Serena’s working. Do you think you would want to come with us?” I looked up at Callie and Zoey who were now awake and both gave me quick nods of their head when they heard his question. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. They were so worried about my love life. It’s not like I needed to have a boyfriend at all times.

  “Sure, that sounds good.” Nash knew I wasn’t very comfortable around kids since he now knew about the abortion. He had taken it shockingly well, better than Mariah had probably expected and didn’t judge me at all. I was kind of shocked that he was asking me.

  “Awesome, I’ll pick you up around nine if that’s all right. Madison likes to get an early start to her day.”

  “Sounds great.”

  “All right, well I better head back in and see what else I can do around the house for my mom while I’m home. The guys and I are taking a road trip next week, so I might as well let her use and abuse me while I’m here.” I grimaced at his choice of words, abuse making me think of all that he had suffered over the years from his dad, but the smile never disappeared from Nash’s lips, so I tried to not let it bother me.

  “You have fun with that, I think we’re going to head back in for lunch in a bit and veg out for the rest of the day.”

  Callie and Zoey joined me in the water after he swam to shore, breathing out sighs of relief as the cool water suddenly felt good. Zoey looked like she had a little bit of red tint to her skin, so we decided to take our picnic inside and hang out for the rest of the day.

  I couldn’t believe how much we had to catch up on after only being apart for two weeks. We made a list of places that we wanted to check out while we finished off most of the sandwiches and cookies Grams had made. “Are you guys sure that you don’t want me to tell Nash I can’t go tomorrow? We could get an early start and go see a few of these places.”

  “Absolutely not. We’re most definitely sleeping in tomorrow. I’m sure we’ll just be waking up by the time you get back.” Zoey nodded her head in reply, stuffing a handful of chips in her mouth.

  “All right.” I was kind of looking for a way out of it, but I had all ready agreed, so I guess I would have to go through with it. I had a feeling it would be a very interesting day.

  Chapter 24

  “Nash, is she your girlfriend?” This is what I heard as soon as I opened up the passenger door to Nash’s truck the next morning. I looked towards the back seat to see Madison strapped into her car seat, her blonde hair pulled into two lopsided pigtails and a pair of daisy sunglasses covering her eyes. Nash smiled into the mirror as I shut my door and sat down stiffly.

  I hadn’t really had much contact with kids really ever and since having the abortion, I seemed even more uncomfortable around them. It always made me think about what could have happened if I kept the baby. Would it have been a girl or boy? What would I have named it? Would I have been a good mom? I shook my head, clearing those thoughts that always crept forward and grinned when Nash responded to Madison.

  “Well, Della’s my friend and she’s a girl, so-”

  He was quickly interrupted by her tiny four-year-old voice. “So she is your girlfriend, I knew it. She’s pretty.”

  “I know,” he agreed before reaching over and grabbing my hand, squeezing it lightly and not letting go for the rest of our drive to the zoo.

  Once we got there, Nash had to stop in each tiny shop to buy Madison at least one thing. To say she was spoiled by her uncle was an understatement. It was weird to see a guy in his mid twenties act that way with a four-year-old, but very sweet. By the time we got to the first animal exhibit, Madison was loaded down with two new stuffed animals, a bag of cotton candy, and two hair bows that had little koalas on them.

  She grabbed both of our hands as she squealed at the sight of the polar bears, planting her face against the glass to get the closest view. Nash gave me a reassuring smile as he pulled his aviator sunglasses down and I relaxed just a little bit.

  By the time we were finished for the day, my feet hurt, I was ready for a nap, and I had a new best friend. It was hard not to fall in love with Madison. She had to be one of the sweetest and smartest little girls around.

  Nash picked her up halfway back to his truck, her eyes starting to droop close as soon as she laid her head down on his shoulder, but not before she gave me a sweet smile. “I’m going to take a nap, you can give Uncle Nash kisses now.” I giggled at her and could see Nash’s chest vibrating with laughter as he strapped her in the back, tucking her stuffed animals in next to her. He placed a kiss on her nose before getting inside the truck.

  I looked back at Madison to see that she was all ready passed out. I turned around to find Nash’s eyes on me, staring intensely back. “What, do I have something on my face?”

  “No, I’m waiting for that kiss Madison gave you permission to give me. Then we can head home,” he raised his brows at me, just waiting. I licked my lips nervously, my hands suddenly sweaty at the thought of kissing Nash again. It had happened before, but I hadn’t been so nervous. Maybe it’s because this could actually mean something now. Before he had Mariah and all I had really felt was guilt. Now seemed different.

  I leaned over slowly, brushing my lips over his waiting ones and went to pull back but didn’t get very far. He pulled me close, deepening the kiss with a sense of urgency, our teeth clashing together as we both opened our mouths. His hands slid down the sides of my body, settling at my waist, and he moved even closer. His tongue slipped inside, it was sweet and warm, but nothing like kissing Justin. With Justin everything just seemed so right, like we were two pieces of a puzzle made to fit each other.

  I stuffed those thoughts down and let myself be in this moment right here, right now. Nash pull
ed back, staring at me with hooded eyes as we both breathed heavily. Glancing at the back seat to see a sleeping Madison, he threw the truck in reverse. “I think we’re actually lucky that Madison was here. I think that would have gone a lot farther if she wasn’t, and I want to take things slow with you, Della. I want to make sure you’re ready for this, truly ready.”

  I didn’t know the answer to that, so I just grabbed his hand and gave it a small squeeze, looking out the window as if the answer to that would be somewhere out there because I really didn’t know if I was truly ready for another relationship.

  Nash pulled his truck into my grandparent’s driveway, leaning over to give me a hesitant kiss on the cheek after putting it into park. “Thanks, Nash. I had fun today with both of you. Maybe we can do something like this again soon.” I moved to open the door but he grabbed onto my elbow to stop me.

  “Della, do you think we could meet up later tonight? I know Callie and Zoey are staying over but I was wondering if you could sneak away for a bit. I wanted to take you somewhere.”

  “Um…” I really don’t want to ditch Zoey and Callie again but those brown eyes looked so pleading, and I gave in almost immediately. “Sure. It’s not too far though is it? I don’t want to keep ditching them the whole time they’re here.”

  “Not at all,” he answered with a smirk. “Meet me out back around ten.”

  Once I got back into the house, I found Zoey and Callie just getting up for the day and that relieved some of the guilt that was eating away at me for leaving them. They quickly got ready and we all piled into my car, heading towards campus.

  My phone rang as soon as I pulled out of the driveway and I groaned when I saw Mia’s name pop up on the screen. After her and my mother’s visit at Christmas time, I wasn’t exactly her biggest fan. She had basically flirted with Justin right in front of me the whole time, acted like a bitch towards me, and was rude to my family. Mia had definitely changed since the last time I had seen her from the perfect model child my parents had made her into be. But she was my stepsister after all, albeit a little evil.

  “Hey, Mia. What’s going on?”

  “Della,” she said brightly through the phone. “I’m so glad I got a hold of you. How’s your summer been going?” I could hear loud music in the background, and I could only guess she was at a party of some sort. Mia definitely had that whole partier look down.

  “Pretty good,” I replied vaguely.

  “Awesome. Oh, by the way, so sorry to hear about you and that hot piece of ass breaking up. Lillian filled me in when I got back last week.” The fakeness in her voice was so blatant, but I really didn’t feel like talking about Justin with her at all.

  “Yeah, well, it is what it is. I’m actually busy right now, was there a reason you called?” I hated to sound so harsh, but I didn’t know how much longer I could stay on the phone with her if she decided to stay on that particular topic.

  “Actually, there was. Lillian told me that you were looking for a new place to live with those roommates of yours.” Since when did Mia and my mother talk so much? We had been mending our relationship a bit lately and talked at least once a week. She seemed pretty proud of the direction that my life was taking and had taken up an interest as to what was going on with me. It felt great to have my mom actually involved in my life, but I was still a little cautious that she would once again turn into a stuck up bitch that wanted nothing to do with me.

  “Yeah, we’re actually going to look at places right now.” I turned right as Zoey pointed out directions to me, pulling into an office building complex.

  “Really? That’s so perfect. I was going to see if you would be willing to take on another roommate. I know it’s a little short notice since you’re starting to look at places, but I’m sure it won’t be too big of a deal to add an extra bedroom to your search.”

  “And who would that be?” I asked, puzzled by who Mia knew in North Carolina. She hadn’t mentioned anyone when she was in town and she hung around Justin and me constantly.

  “Me, silly. I need a change of scenery, and your mom suggested that I talk to you. Obviously it worked for you. I’m not sure if I’m going to enroll there to finish my degree or not, I might just find a job and work for a little while. Besides, I think we could use a little sister bonding and what better way to do that then living with each other?”

  I could think of about a thousand different ways other than living with each other, but I didn’t want to squash her excitement. I looked between Zoey and Callie who were giving me questioning looks, tapping at the time to show that we needed to get into the leasing agents office.

  “Um, I’m not really sure how my roommates would feel about that. I would have to clear it with them first. ”

  “Oh, I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem,” she interrupted. “Plus, daddy all ready offered to pay the entire rent for the school year as long as it was good with you. So what do you think?”

  The thought of our rent being paid for stopped me from telling her no. I hadn’t found a new job since I quit Shorty’s, and although I had some money saved up, I knew it wouldn’t last long once I started paying my share in rent and utilities. I had planned on looking for a job soon and I still would, but Mia’s offer sounded pretty good.

  I blew out a breath looking between Zoey and Callie. I wasn’t sure how they would feel about it and they could always say no, but for now I was going to go with my gut instinct. “Ok then. As long as Callie and Zoey think its ok, I think we can make that work. I’ll call you later this week to fill you in on the details once we find a place.”

  “Awesome,” she squealed into my ear before I hung up.

  Chapter 25

  By the end of the day, we had officially found a place with four bedrooms that would work perfectly. It was close to campus, actually one block over from the house that Nash lived in during the school year.

  Zoey and Callie had been hesitant about having Mia as a roommate since they knew we weren’t exactly close, but after I told them about our rent being paid for the year, they seemed to warm up to the idea.

  We grabbed take-out on our way to my grandparent’s house and watched a few movies while we ate. “So if it’s all right with you guys, Nash wanted to take me somewhere later tonight.”

  “Oh, like a date or what?” Zoey asked, her fork paused in mid-air.

  “I don’t know, I guess so. What do you guys think? Should I go?”

  Zoey and Callie both looked at each other and then turned back to me. “Um, yeah! We can fend for ourselves just fine, Della. And we have the rest of the week. Don’t worry about ditching us for a bit. So, I take it the zoo trip went good?” For some reason, Callie was always pushing me towards Nash and she seemed pretty happy about the new developments.

  “I think so, things were a little weird at first because I’m not the greatest around kids, but Madison is pretty easy to like. She’s so sweet. And then she fell asleep, and we ended up kissing. It was nice.”

  “Nice?” Callie piped up. “That is not something you want in a kiss, Della. You want passion, fire, awe inspiring.” She looked a little dreamy-eyed, probably picturing Drew in her head. I completely agreed with Callie even though I wasn’t going to tell her that. All of those things were what I felt every single time Justin had kissed me; every time he touched me.

  “Just give it some time, Della,” Zoey instructed, glaring at Callie who still looked to be in lala land.

  By the time ten o’clock was rolling around, the girls were heading up to the guest room to paint each other nails. They insisted they would be waiting up for details, no matter how late it was.

  “There you are,” Nash called out from the darkness as soon as I shut the patio door. I smiled as he rushed forward and wrapped me in a quick hug before turning around to point at his back. “Hop on.”

  “Seriously? You haven’t given me a piggy-back ride since we were like ten. You probably won’t even be able to hold me.”

  He snorted and p
ointed at his back once again. “Trust me, I think I can handle it. And close your eyes.”

  “But-”

  “Just do what I say for once, Della. I promise, I’m not going to dunk you in the water,” I could hear the smile in his voice as I hoisted myself onto his back and closed my eyes like he had instructed. We walked for about ten minutes, branches slapping me in the face the whole time, but I didn’t peak even once.

  “Here we are.” He slid my feet to the ground, and I felt his hands on mine. “Okay, you can open your eyes now.”

  I gasped when I saw where we were, I couldn’t believe I had forgotten about this place. Nash and I had come to this little alcove almost every day when I spent the summers here. Grams would prepare picnics for us, and we would alternate between swimming, eating, and making forts with the tree branches. It was our spot.

  Of course, it was a little bit transformed since the last time I had seen it. Twinkling lights were wrapped around the tree trunks, and tiny votives were lit and arranged on a blanket that was spread out in the sand with a large picnic basket on top of it.

  “You did all of this?” I whispered as he pulled me down next to him on the blanket. “Mmm hmm,” he murmured, smiling as he pulled out sandwiches, fruit, and cookies. “And I even made all of this by myself. Well, with a little supervision from my mom, so at least you know it’s safe to eat.”

  “Wow, thank you. I feel pretty special.”

  “You are, Della.” He caught a piece of my hair, twirling it through his fingers as he reached out to stroke my cheek. “I did all of this because I wanted to show you much I want you, how good I think we’ll be together if you just give us a chance. Do you think you’d be willing to do that?”