Deep is the Heart

by A. V. Zeppa

  A couple of minutes later the conversation began to focus on the conference. David listened intently as the professors shared some of their experiences from past conferences. He had to keep pinching himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

  CHAPTER 43

  THURSDAY

  Marco was entertaining Rafi, Avani, and a few other people from his floor. His room had become an enticing destination for the chosen few. With the latest toys and an atmosphere that screamed Upper East Side modern, it made all the other dorm rooms feel like jail cells. Marco had been protective of his privacy, but recently started letting a few people hang out because David was rarely around.

  Being alone did not suit Marco one bit, so he began to take advantage of other options. Rafi was one of those options. Marco invited him to his room whenever David or Jordan weren’t available. Rafi understood the situation and gave Marco all the sex he wanted without pressuring him, hoping it would eventually lead to becoming boyfriends.

  Marco sat at his computer doing homework while The A Team, by Ed Sheerin played in the background. Tim and Olivia were playing video games. Avani and Gia were on their computers socializing. Rafi was sprawled out on the bed reading his bio chem book and taking notes. Marco was in a typing frenzy when his phone buzzed. It was a message from Jordan. He grinned knowing what was in store for the weekend. “Hey, are we gunna meet up for some fun this weekend?” Marco texted back. “Can you come over on Sunday?”

  “Yeah. Can I fuck you on Saturday too? I don’t think I can wait until Sunday. I’m ready to bust now.”

  “I wish you could, but I have to attend a wedding in Connecticut with my parents.”

  Jordan sent a sad face back. Another text followed a few seconds later. “What about David?”

  “No worries there. He’s going to Princeton for a conference and won’t be back until Monday afternoon.

  “Can I spend the night?”

  Marco’s body came alive at the thought of Jordan fucking him all night long.

  “Yeah, of course.”

  “Cool. What time should I come over?”

  “I’ll be back on campus around four. I’ll text you when I’m here. Can’t wait.”

  “Me either.”

  Marco put the phone back on the desk and looked out the window trying to calm down. His life was caught in a massive vortex. He loved having sex with Jordan, Rafi, and Cole, but he was in love with David. Marco sat there deep in thought. In the end he realized that he needed to have it all. He tried the other way one more time just to make sure. He closed his eyes and tried to think only of David and the love they shared, but couldn’t do it. Marco opened his eyes and glanced over at Rafi, who was laying on his bed with that cute little ass of his positioned perfectly for his viewing pleasure. They had been fucking nonstop for the past two weeks. With a sexy body only six feet away, a new sexual fantasy popped into his brain; fucking Rafi while everyone in the room watched. His dick was hard in an instant thinking about it. But then, whatever guilt was left surfaced, leaving him slightly depressed. His mind raced in all directions, like a schizophrenic tide, trying to hang onto the love he had for David.

  Everyone left Marco’s room by seven that evening. He barely noticed because he was still in the zone. He was writing another story that paralleled his own life once again. The alarm on his phone went off in the middle of a pivotal chapter, bringing him back to earth. He sat there reading what he had just written and grinned. The main theme was living life to its fullest, and he pledged to continue doing just that regardless of the consequences. A few minutes later he went to meet David so they could have dinner together.

  Marco leaned against the math building enjoying the cool night air waiting for David to come out. He was also texting with Claire trying to catch up with her life. She told him that she was seeing a guy who was in one of her art classes. “His name is Jamie. He’s so sweet. Very cute too. He reminds me so much of David it isn’t funny. He has blond hair and grew up in the mid-west.”

  “Cool, then he must be a great guy. They make them sexy cute in the mid-west…lol”

  “Yeah, you’re right about that. I’m just so sick of pretentious guys.”

  All of a sudden David walked out with a group of students. Marco sent one last text. “I have to go, David’s here. Love you.”

  “Tell him I said hi.”

  Marco waited patiently in the shadows while David finished up the conversation he was involved in. After everyone said their goodbyes, Marco stepped into the light. “Hey handsome scientist,” he said, startling David. He gave Marco a nice long kiss. “I missed you so much today. I hate that we haven’t been able to spend any time together.”

  “It’s ok. I understand, so please don’t worry about it.”

  David held Marco. “I do worry about it, but I have some good news.”

  “Oh yeah? What is it?”

  “My research team is taking a three week break as soon as we come back from the conference.”

  “That’s fantastic. I know this is going to sound selfish, but I feel so lost when we aren’t together.”

  “Me too.” David looked at Marco in a way that frightened him.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong, but I do have something I want to discuss with you as soon as I get back from Princeton, ok?”

  Marco gave him a panicked look. “Why can’t you just tell me now?”

  “I want it to be a surprise.”

  “You know how much I hate surprises, so just tell me now.” Marco started tickling David to get him to tell. David tried to get away, but they ended up rolling around on the ground laughing and kissing.

  They had dinner at Max Soha’s, their favorite Italian restaurant a couple of blocks from campus. Marco loved how playful and giddy David was being by suggesting that they use their fake IDs to get some wine to go with their meal. He grinned a little at the suggestion.

  “What are you grinning about?” David asked.

  “Nothing. I’d love to get some wine too, but, honestly, you really do look like you’re only about fifteen. Those IDs are only good for places that don’t care how old you are.”

  “Well, it was a good idea anyway.” Then David laughed. “If I only look like I’m fifteen, then I guess I’m jail bate. Shame on you.”

  “Thank goodness you’re legal.” They both laughed.

  “Thank you for taking me out to dinner. I just wish you were going with me this weekend,” David said, caressing Marco’s hand with his.

  “Me too. But I know you’re going to have a great time being around all of those science guys. Anyway, I have to go to that wedding with my parents, so everything kind of worked out for the best.”

  “I forgot about that. When are you leaving?”

  “Friday, right after my last class. Max is picking me up because my parents are having an early pre-wedding dinner party. Then we’re driving to Connecticut right after that. The wedding is an all day affair, which I hate.”

  “When are you going to get back to campus?”

  “I’m planning on being back by three on Sunday. I have a lot of homework this weekend.”

  That made David relax because he was planning on surprising Marco by coming back Sunday evening instead of Monday afternoon. “That’s good. Getting back by then should give you enough time to get it finished.”

  “I hope so,” Marco said. “What time are you leaving tomorrow?” he casually asked, trying to make sure David’s conference schedule hadn’t changed.

  “Early. We are meeting at the Math Building at seven thirty. Professor Godard is having breakfast catered. He wants to make sure everyone has eaten and is prepared. I just hope I can get some sleep tonight.”

  “What time are you getting back on Monday?”

  “We should be back by one or two in the afternoon.”

  That made Marco relax knowing his plans didn’t have to change. “I know you’re going to have a great time. I can’t wait to hear all about it.
Are you sure you can’t sleep over tonight?”

  “I’d love to, but I have some reading I have to do, plus I need to get some sleep, which I know I won’t get if I stay with you.” Marco gave him a pouty look. David smiled. “I promise that I’ll make it up to you.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes I’m sure.” Then David put his finger tips against Marco’s and leaned close. “I love you beautiful boy.”

  CHAPTER 44

  The conference was an experience far beyond anything David had ever imagined. Every emotion he had come to know were reminders that his journey had been worth every breathing second of his young life. That conference validated everything he had worked so hard to attain. That his desire to solve the mysteries of the universe weren’t just crazy notions, it had become his destiny. David had now joined an honored group of individuals who were also seeking the same empirical truths.

  The confidence Professor’s Eldridge, Logan, and Godard had shown towards his abilities meant the most to him. They never treated him or anyone else on the team as lesser entities. They included him in every meeting, every discussion group, and even introduced him to other world renown physicists. David had to pinch himself more than once because it had actually happened. And it happened at Princeton University, the home of Albert Einstein.

  Over the course of three incredible days David engaged in conversations with dozens of other students and professors about Quantum Variants, Conformal Field Theory and Strings, Sigma Models, and new mathematical developments within M-Theory.

  Little did David know, but Saturday evening had become a turning point in his life, and the physicist he admired most made it happen. Professor Eldridge was the guest speaker on the topics of M-Theory and the Unified Theory. Ten minutes into his talk, he surprised everyone by inviting David and one other student named Elaine up to the stage to partake in the discussion. Everyone applauded as they made their way across the stage and sat down. David wasn’t nervous at all because he could hear his father’s voice telling him to just be himself. And he was. And everyone listened as he, Eldridge, and Elaine shared their ideas about theories that might one day lead to a Unified Theory. What surprised David the most was being applauded after explaining his belief that solving the mysteries of M-Theory and Dark Energy would lead the scientific world to a unified theory.

  After the talk was over, Professor Eldridge shook David and Elaine’s hands and thanked them for participating. Then he asked David to stay for a minute so they could talk. “David, you have a real knack for explaining your ideas. I am very impressed.”

  “Thank you sir. And thank you for inviting me on stage. It was an honor.”

  The next words David heard almost made him faint. “I was wondering if you would be interested in joining my research team. I’ve talked with Gene and Tim and they think it is an excellent idea.” At that point some of their colleagues made their way to the stage to congratulate them just as David was accepting his invitation. “Professor, it would be an honor to work with you.” Eldridge shook his hand again. “Welcome to the team.” For the next half hour David received congratulatory handshakes and talked with as many people as he could. He was humbled by the entire experience.

  SUNDAY EVENING

  It was a few minutes past 7pm when David’s cab arrived at Princeton to take him to the train station. He was excited about surprising Marco. He couldn’t wait to make love to him and then cuddle afterwards. He wanted to hear all about the wedding, and then tell him about the conference. He also decided to let Marco know that he was ready to live together and couldn’t wait to see the look on his face.

  David was on the train a half hour later heading back to Manhattan. He closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep, but some memories began to escape from the neatly stored drawers of his mind. Parts of his life began playing out before him:

  His first memory occurring at the age of two years, three months, seven days, six hours and thirty-two minutes, walking into the kitchen and asking his father if he could have a cup of coffee with him. His father picking him up, giving him a hug, and putting him in the chair next to him at the kitchen table. His father making him a very sweet and milky cup of coffee. How that part of the morning became their special time together through the years.

  The next memory was of his father taking him to the hill for the first time at the age of three, sitting in his lap and looking up at the Milky Way, knowing it was trying to show him its secrets. That it was calling for him to come out and play whenever he was ready.

  Memory after memory unfolded before his smiling eyes.

  Figuring out Calculus and Differential Geometry by the age of eleven, and then scaring his 6th grade teacher to the point where she summoned the principal to watch him fill the entire whiteboard with advanced equations while explaining Einstein’s General Relativity to his classmates.

  His parents being in shock by his abilities after being called to the school to see what he had done.

  Countless trips to Ann Arbor where he went through series after series of intelligence tests that tried to determine the level of his unique capabilities.

  Getting his first guitar at the age of nine and learning how play it well within six weeks. Learning how to read music at an advanced level in the same time frame because it was just like a mathematical concept.

  The first time he heard side one of 2112 by Rush.

  Spending two summers taking math and physics classes at the University of Michigan and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

  Realizing he was gay.

  Meeting Tyler, crushing on him, and then falling in love with him.

  Coming out to his parents.

  Being beaten into a coma by his friends just because he was gay. Almost dying and then learning how to forgive so he could move on with his life.

  Tyler and Melissa’s friendship.

  His first kiss. And then his second later that same night.

  His life in New York City as a college student at Columbia University.

  Meeting Marco and falling in love.

  David smiled as memory after memory reminded him of just how fortunate he was. How all of those life experiences, and the people he loved, were instrumental in shaping his life in some significant way.

  When those memories were finally back into their proper place, David looked out the window into the pitch dark night and began going over a new proof that he had been working on in his spare time. He let his thoughts wander through mathematical calculations, inserting and eliminating as if his mind were a whiteboard, trying to capture multiple dimensions of loop spaces and somehow make them slow dance with General Relativity.

  Every mathematical concept he had learned so far floated in space while he calculated and thought abstractly, hoping to see what the missing pieces within Quantum Field Theory might be. This went on for the next hour or so until several potential paths made their appearance. David got his laptop out and added them to his math journal. Time flew by, and before he knew it the train had pulled into Grand Central Station.

  David grabbed his suitcase and walked through the main Concourse and then outside to 42nd Street. Luckily he got a cab right away and was back on campus within twenty minutes. He decided to stop at his room before heading to Marco’s so he could drop his suitcase off and freshen up. Ryan was startled when David walked in. “Hey, this is a surprise. Is everything all right?” Ryan asked. “I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow?”

  “Everything is good. I came back early because the conference ended at five today and I wanted to surprise Marco. That has been my plan all along.”

  “Oh, nice. So how was the conference?”

  “It was unbelievable. I had a blast. I met so many interesting people from all over the world. It was everything I thought it would be, and more.”

  “Cool.” They continued talking while David changed into a purple t-shirt and skinny jeans. A couple of minutes later he was out the door.

  W
hile walking over to Marco’s building, David began to panic slightly at a couple of possible scenarios. What if Marco was out with his friends? Or decided to spend the night at home with his parents? He hesitated for a moment before deciding there was only one way to find out. Two girls were coming out of John Jay and held the door for him. The guy at the front desk said hi and let him through. David noticed it was a bit quieter than usual as he walked to the elevators. He hoped Marco’s floor wasn’t in party mode because he didn’t want anyone ruining his surprise, plus he wanted some privacy.

  David stood there waiting for an elevator with the giddiness of a little boy. A minute later one finally came down. A half dozen girls dressed for an evening out gave him the once over as they walked by him. He shyly looked away as he entered the elevator. His heart started pounding in anticipation as he pushed the button. He got out on the fourteenth floor and walked up one flight of stairs as quiet as possible. When he got to the landing, he peaked down the hall to see if anyone was coming. The entire floor was quiet except for some jazz music coming from a room down the other hall. He walked slowly trying his hardest not to make the floor squeak. His heart raced and his smile grew wider with each step he took, knowing what awaited him less than ten meters away. He was glad no one had come out of their rooms while inching closer to the guy of his dreams.

  But then it happened. He could hear it. With only four meters left to go, David froze and just stood there. His smile disappeared as he listened to the bed’s rhythmic squeaks and someone moaning and someone else talking dirty. Within seconds the moaning got louder. He was moaning and giving sex commands between the moans. It was Marco’s voice. Tears started streaming down David’s cheeks as he stood there paralyzed, wanting to die as he listened to Marco having sex with someone else. “Fuck me good. Fuck me hard papi. Fuck me as hard as you can,” Marco commanded.

  David put his hand on the wall to steady himself. He felt like he had just been kicked in the stomach and couldn’t breathe. He wiped his face with his sleeve as he stood there. A few seconds later he heard the other voice. “You are such a good little slut. Your tight ass feels so fucking good.” It instantly clicked. That voice. He heard that voice three times a week in math class. It was Jordan.