If I Forget You

by Michelle D. Argyle

  “Right.” She rolled her eyes at him and sat down to lace up her own skates. They felt wobbly on her feet, and even wobblier when Kent led her to the rink and she eased her way onto the ice. She clawed at Kent’s bicep, but it wasn’t enough to stop her from going down. She landed hard on her butt. That was going to leave a mark.

  Laughing, he helped her up and steered her back to the rubber mats outside the rink. “Let’s get your skate guards back on and practice balancing first.”

  She nodded, feeling ridiculous as he helped her back and forth along the mats. After a while, though, she realized how much fun she was having—how Kent felt so comfortable to her. He wanted to be with her, without someone like Tam nudging him into it. It was the best she’d felt in a long time.

  Finally, he helped her onto the ice again, and she managed to stay vertical as long as she held on to him.

  “See?” he said as they glided past an instructor coaching a seven-year-old girl who skated a lot better than Avery. “It’s fun, isn’t it?”

  She adjusted her grip on his hand and nodded. “It is … but, um, how do I stop?”

  “Toe pick.” He slowed her down and lifted one of his feet to show her the jagged front edge on the blade. “Should we skate over to the middle of the rink?”

  “I guess so.” She gave the wall a longing look as they moved away from it, and before she knew what was happening, Kent had let go of her hand and she was gliding on her own. She felt smooth and fluid. And then wobbly.

  “I’m right here,” Kent said next to her. “Move forward with your right foot. Yeah, like that. Now your left. Perfect.”

  She grinned. “I’m not falling,” she laughed. “It’s a miracle.”

  Kent took her hand again, and they skated around the entire rink until he asked her if he could go skate on his own for a minute. She held on to the wall and watched as he took off, leaning his body forward to gain momentum. He reminded her more of a speed skater than a figure skater. When he returned, he was breathing hard and his forehead was damp with sweat.

  “I used to run, but I like this better,” he said, brushing the sweat away. “What do you like to do?”

  She blushed and looked down at her body. “Would you hate me if I said I don’t work out, like, ever? I know I probably should, but I’ve never found anything I really love—not like you love the ice. You’re so good at it.”

  He smiled. “Well, maybe ice is your thing, you never know. My mom was a figure skater, so that’s where I learned to love it.”

  “Was she an Olympic figure skater?”

  “No, nothing like that. She competed, but not on that level.” His eyes grew distant as he looked out across the rink. “She doesn’t do that anymore. It’s been a long time since she did anything she loved.”

  “Oh? How come?”

  It was the wrong question to ask. Kent looked down at his skates, and the silence between them grew thick and awkward.

  “It’s my dad,” he finally said, taking her hand and leading her away from the wall. “He never wanted her to skate in the first place.”

  Avery noticed the sadness in his voice, the way he held her hand differently than before, almost desperately, as if he was afraid she would let go and he’d never find her again.

  * * *

  When Avery padded into the kitchen the next morning, Chloe turned around from the coffee maker and raised her eyebrows. The smell of biscuits and butter was heavy in the air, making Avery’s stomach rumble.

  “I’m assuming that was you and Kent out on the porch last night,” Chloe said as Avery slid into a chair at the table and fiddled with the placemat. She might forget a lot of things, but her very first good date would never be one of them. Even after a night of sleep, she could remember everything perfectly. The smell of the ice rink, the feel of Kent’s warm hand in hers, the creak of the porch swing as they rocked back and forth and kissed and kissed and kissed. She’d never experienced anything like it—like wrapping herself in another person, the smell of him still on her skin. It was cologne and clean laundry and something she couldn’t even describe. The smell of Kent.

  Kent …

  “Earth to Avery!” Chloe said, suddenly five inches away from Avery’s face.

  Nearly jumping out of her chair, Avery laughed and grabbed the edge of the table. “Oh, sorry. Was that all right? Having Kent over? I know you said you didn’t want any guys here, so I didn’t invite him in. He told me his dorm was too gross for me to go over there.”

  Chloe smirked and set a plate in front of Avery, who stared down at the biscuit halves smothered in honey and butter. Chloe went back to the coffee maker to pour Avery a cup. Avery smiled when she pulled out the mini grater. Chloe knew exactly how she liked her coffee with freshly grated nutmeg.

  “I don’t mind,” she said as she fished a whole nutmeg seed out of a jar and then rubbed it across the grater. She’d never owned nutmeg before Avery had moved in, but now she used it every morning. She poured two cups of coffee and sprinkled a pinch of fresh nutmeg into both. “I think it’s sweet.”

  Avery took a big bite of her biscuit. It was more than sweet. It was amazing.

  “So, does this mean your date with Jordan is off?” Chloe asked as she brought Avery her coffee and sat down next to her. “I mean, you were out there on the porch with Kent for over two hours. That sounds pretty serious to me.”

  Avery stopped mid-chew. Canceling her date with Jordan had never crossed her mind. “Should I?” she asked with a slight squeak in her voice. “Kent and I hardly know each other. It was one date.”

  Chloe shrugged and sipped at her coffee. “I have no idea how things are done now,” she answered after a long sigh, “but I have a hard time believing you’d want to be with someone else after that much intimacy.”

  Heat spread up Avery’s face. Maybe Chloe was more old-fashioned than she’d thought. Or maybe she was right. Avery didn’t have much dating experience, after all, and her memory of social etiquette was not something she could rely on.

  “How do you know how intimate we were?” she asked as she peered at Chloe over the rim of her coffee cup. “Were you watching us?”

  “Of course not!” Chloe set down her cup with a loud clink. “But I’m not stupid, Avery. I know the sounds of that porch swing better than anybody. I know what’s going on when I hear rocking back and forth, a laugh and low talking followed by long periods of silence.”

  Raising the last bite of biscuit to her lips, Avery thought back to last night—Kent and her cuddled together, hands entwined as they talked about how his dad had a degree in outdoor recreation and regretted it. “Hence talking me into a business degree,” Kent had explained.

  They had also talked about Avery’s love for plants, but mostly they’d kissed and had their hands all over each other because they were both tired and warm and comfortable and didn’t want to leave the tranquility of another person’s attention.

  “Am I a bad person for wanting to go out with Jordan now?” Avery asked, surprised she was asking her aunt for dating advice.

  “Like I said, Avery, I don’t know. If you haven’t committed to anything with Kent, I suppose there’s no problem. Does he know about Jordan?”

  For a split second Avery considered lying, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. “No,” she mumbled. “I think they’re friends.”

  Chloe’s eyes widened. “Oh, that’s not good.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  Chloe clucked her tongue and frowned. “I’d tell both of them immediately, if I were you.”

  11

  It was sad how addicted Avery was to the hot dogs with cream cheese and grilled onions. It was her third week of school and she’d already had eight of them. Today would be her ninth, according to her notes—which she still couldn’t bring herself to give up. She’d wanted so badly to get past note-taking when she’d moved here, but she was just as reliant on it as ever. Maybe it was pointless to try giving it up.

  Her stomach growl
ed. Since it was Tuesday and she only had one class, she had a few hours to eat and study until she had to get to work. As she stood in line, she pulled out her phone and reviewed her reminders list. There were about twenty items, but the top ones were:

  Mom and Chloe’s birthday is on Saturday. Get Chloe something TODAY. Mail a card to Mom SOON.

  Study Chapter 3 of Bio book. Take detailed notes this time because you’ve already forgotten the first two chapters.

  Talk to Jordan and Kent SOON. About each other.

  She wondered how she was going to find Chloe a present. What could a woman with a house full of junk possibly want or need? Her mom was a different story. She hated gifts, so mailing her a card and calling her would be fine.

  She spun around when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

  Kent … wait, no … Jordan … wait, no …

  “You back once again?” he asked, grinning.

  Looking down, she noticed he was wearing black canvas Vans. On her way back up, she looked at his hands—only the thumbnails were chewed. This had to be the same guy who had told her to try the cream cheese the first time she’d come—the guy she thought was Jordan/Kent. But he wasn’t Jordan or Kent. He was someone completely different.

  “I think I’m addicted,” she answered as she met his blue eyes. What was with her and blue-eyed guys lately? Three had to be it. She was going to lose it if any more of them stumbled into her life.

  A smile lifted the guy’s lips as he studied her face and fiddled with the strap of his backpack. “Do you have to run to class after this?” he asked.

  Wait, did she have class? Who was this? Why did she keep thinking of the letter O? That had to be him … the O guy.

  Someone cleared their throat behind Avery, and she turned around to see a wide gap between the food truck and her. She was next in line and the girl taking orders was glaring.

  “Oh, sorry!” Avery said, and rushed forward to order her meal. When she had her hot dog, potato chips, and drink, she stepped to the side and waited for O to get his hot dog too. He ordered the exact same thing as her.

  “Good taste,” she laughed as she started walking across the plaza toward the quad, her favorite place on campus.

  “So, where are we headed?” O asked, keeping up with her.

  “The cherry trees,” she answered, slipping her drink into her messenger bag so she could start plucking potato chips out of the flimsy cardboard food tray. “I know they’re not in bloom or anything, but I like eating over there as long as the weather’s nice.”

  “I like it over there too.”

  There was something about this guy that made her smile. He’d talked to her in line. Twice. Then he’d ordered the same food as her, and now he was assuming he could tag along with her to eat lunch. Maybe she liked him because he was so obviously interested in her. High school had been so much the opposite of what college was turning out to be that Avery felt like she was floating half the time. The feel of Kent’s mouth on hers flashed through her memory, almost making her trip over her own feet. She caught herself and kept walking.

  “I’m guessing you don’t have a class right now,” O stated as they crossed a road and headed into the quad. “Lucky us, I don’t either.”

  Finally, she stopped to face him. His hair was darker than Kent’s or Jordan’s. It was still blond, but more brown, like hers, and he kept his sideburns long. A hint of a goatee shadowed his chin. How had she mixed him up with the other two?

  “What’s your name again?” she asked, feeling confident that she could ask such a question now.

  Juggling his food and drink in the crook of his arm, he reached out his free hand and she shook it, amused.

  “Owen,” he answered. “Sorry if you think I’m stalking you. I take it as a sign we should be friends since we like the same food and keep running into each other.”

  Not literally, though, like me and Jordan, she thought to herself as she popped another chip into her mouth. But Owen seemed nice enough, and eager. Three guys might be interested in her, but she wouldn’t let it go to her head. As she looked into Owen’s charming blue eyes rimmed with a darker blue, she decided that this was what college was about—meeting new people, taking chances, opening yourself up. High school had been almost the complete opposite for her. Maybe that was why she was meeting so many guys now. Maybe subconsciously she was putting herself out there more than she ever had in her life. So far the results were exciting and horrifying at the same time.

  “I’m Avery,” she said. “I moved from Spokane. You?”

  “Guess we’re even more alike,” he laughed. “I’m from Spokane too. What high school did you go to?”

  “Shadle Park.” She wanted to say that she wasn’t from Spokane, but it didn’t matter at this point.

  “Ah, that’s why I don’t know you. I went to Rogers.”

  Her stomach flipped upside down as she thought of Ryan and his deep brown eyes and the way he’d looked at her on the sidewalk by Stacy’s house, as if he was confused about whether he wanted to kiss her or run from her.

  “But, hey,” Owen continued, “that’s not too far apart. We kicked your butt at football.” He cleared his throat. “Not that you should take it personally or anything.”

  They were nearing the tree Avery liked to sit under, and she slowed her pace. “I never paid much attention to football,” she answered, taking a seat on the grass. It was damp, as usual. “Not that you should take it personally.” She looked up and gave him a wink as he sat down next to her. They both set their food down and Avery fished her drink from her bag and opened it to take a sip. “Wait, crap, you weren’t a football player, were you?”

  He looked down at his body and shrugged. “Um, no.”

  She laughed. He was lean, like a runner. No wonder she’d thought he was Kent/Jordan. They were all athletic in some way. Kent was a total outdoor junkie and ice skater, but she had yet to discover why Jordan looked so fit. For all she knew, he could be addicted to the gym.

  “Do you play sports at all?” she asked.

  “I ride my bike everywhere. Does that count?”

  That explained the tennis shoes and a streak of chain grease across the bottom cuff of his jeans.

  “Sure, it counts,” she said before digging into her hot dog. She loved the tang of the cream cheese meeting the spiciness of the meat and onions. Why couldn’t she have met Owen in high school? Every guy in her class she had ever been interested in was either not interested in her, offended by something she’d forgotten, or taken by some other girl. It was a small pool of fish, and just a few miles away there was Owen at Rogers High. And Ryan, but she wouldn’t think about him right now. Owen, who could have been a better friend than Tam turned out to be. Avery already felt at ease with him.

  “Do you ride?” he asked after swallowing a huge mouthful of food. His hot dog was nearly gone.

  “No, I walk or take the bus. I live a few blocks away at my aunt’s house.”

  “Oh, cool. I’m in a house, too, but I rent it with a bunch of guys.”

  “How do you like that?”

  “It’s all right, I guess. My roomies are obsessed with drinking. I swear that’s why they’re here. But hey, screw your classes, right? College is all about the party.” He rolled his eyes and dumped the last of his chips into his mouth.

  Avery chuckled. “So you don’t party with them? What a shame.”

  “Yeah, a definite shame. Guess they’re a lot richer than me. I had to work my ass off to come here. I’m not going to waste it getting plastered my entire first quarter.”

  She already liked Owen more than she probably should. “I’m with you on that. I get a bunch of financial aid, but it’s not enough to make it a free ride.”

  “I don’t believe in free rides,” Owen answered. “I’ve watched people get somewhere with them, but how can they live with that? I don’t get it at all.”

  Avery smiled, happy to find someone with a good, hard work ethic. “I agree.”


  “Awesome.” He suddenly got to his feet.

  “Are you leaving already? We’re just barely getting to know each other.”

  He smiled down at her and held out the trash from his lunch. “Just throwing this away. You finished?”

  She shook her head. “Still working on it, thanks.”

  “Be right back.”

  She leaned against the tree behind her and watched him walk away. What had she gotten herself into? She couldn’t be crushing on three different guys. She couldn’t.

  Before she could argue with herself anymore, she realized Owen wasn’t coming right back. Instead, he was talking to a beautiful girl with curly black hair. Tam.

  Avery almost jumped to her feet. Something was going on with Tam. She had been at the party with Kent and Jordan, and now she was worming her way into Avery’s relationship with Owen too—a relationship that had barely begun!

  Owen laughed out loud and nodded. He was too far away for Avery to hear their conversation. Was Tam very funny? She was beautiful, that was for sure. She had always been beautiful. Avery picked up her hot dog and took a bite entirely too big for her mouth. Chewing helped alleviate her anger. Her jaw was starting to hurt by the time Owen waved goodbye to Tam and headed back.

  Don’t glare at him. It’s not his fault.

  As he sat down, Avery swallowed and took a drink. “Do you know her?” she asked, unable to hold in the question.

  “Who, that girl?” He nodded toward Tam, who was now walking in the opposite direction.

  “Yeah.”

  “She’s in my economics class, but I’ve never really talked to her before. She just recognized me and said hi.” Positioning himself so he was sitting cross-legged and facing Avery, he leaned forward with a smirk. “Why? You jealous already?” He blew on his knuckles. “I’ve managed to steal your heart in twenty minutes flat?”

  Despite her anger over Tam, a grin broke out across her face. His confidence wasn’t forged. He really did think highly of himself, but at least for now he was not coming off as conceited or arrogant. More like the opposite. She liked his sideburns, she decided. They made him look intelligent and unruffled.