If I Forget You

by Michelle D. Argyle

  “So, Heaven,” Jordan said with a smirk of his own. “Where’s your date.”

  The car slowed a little. “I couldn’t get one,” she snapped. “You win.”

  * * *

  Avery quickly discovered why Heaven was the way she was. Her mother, who introduced herself as Karma, was just like her. No dreadlocks or black clothes, but in personality they were the spitting image of each other—unexpected mood swings, bluntness, easygoing and uptight at the same time. Avery had a feeling Jordan was just like his dad, but since he hadn’t shown up yet, she had to wait to find out.

  “He’s not usually late,” Karma said, checking her watch. She was across the table from Avery, and kept giving her an apologetic smile as she fiddled with her freshwater pearl necklace. “He can be such an ass about these dinners.”

  “Maybe his flight was late,” Heaven said. “Don’t be so hard on him, Mom.”

  Avery looked at all three of them one by one. “So, uh, does he not live here in Seattle?” She had assumed he did.

  Karma shook her head. She had platinum blonde hair and dark, thin eyebrows. Avery had expected someone earthier, since she was a biology professor. “He lives in Chicago, but he flies here a few times a month. It’s not a big deal.” She leaned forward and rested her dainty chin on her knuckles. “Jordan tells me you want to go into botany. You’re a freshman, right? Are you taking biology?”

  “Oh, yeah, my advisor put me in with Professor Bell.”

  Karma let out a long sigh. “He’s all right. Let me see if I can get you transferred to my class. Would you mind? What hour would you need?”

  “The 11:45 block,” she said, hoping that was correct without having to look at the schedule on her phone. “Monday through Friday.” At least that wouldn’t put her in Tam’s class. She glanced at Jordan, who forced a smile. There was a lot behind his expression, as if he was apologizing and begging her forgiveness. She smiled back, trying to make it clear she was okay with this. He’d warned her his mom was controlling.

  “Oh, that’s perfect. I’ve got a class at that time.” Karma pulled out a small notebook and jotted something down.

  Avery cringed, thinking of her own notebooks probably sitting in a landfill by now. This whole night was either going to stick in her memory like glue or fade away into nothing.

  Jordan nodded toward the front of the restaurant. “Dad’s here.”

  “Oh, good, we can order,” Karma said without even looking behind her shoulder for her ex-husband.

  “Just call him Tim,” Jordan said to Avery as a tall, thin man in his early fifties approached the table. He wore a sharp three-piece suit, charcoal gray. Not surprising. His hair was the same color as Jordan’s, but combed in a more retro style. Avery thought he looked familiar, probably because she’d seen his picture somewhere before. If he was as rich as Jordan had implied, he was most likely a leader in the economic world.

  “Hello,” he said, smiling at Avery before acknowledging anyone else. “Are we lucky enough to have a guest this evening?” He turned to Jordan, expectant.

  “Dad, this is Avery. She’s my date tonight.”

  “A … date?” Tim looked truly shocked but pleased, and Avery didn’t miss the triumph on Heaven’s face. “Well, that’s lovely. Welcome, Avery.” He reached a hand across the table, and she took it, impressed with his firm grip and the way he met her eyes.

  Tim. She had to remember his name was Tim. So far she was doing all right.

  A waiter pulled out Tim’s chair for him. He ordered a bottle of champagne and then turned to his family, nodding a quick hello to his ex-wife.

  “So, how did this happen?” he asked, looking bemused. “You must have stolen his heart, Avery. We’ve been trying to get Jordan to date for months now.”

  “More like years,” Jordan interjected. “Please don’t embarrass Avery. Can we just order?”

  Tim leaned back, exchanging a polite smile with Karma. “Of course, but I have a bit of news first. Avery, I apologize for jumping right into family business.”

  “Oh, it’s fine.” She sat up straight and looked at Jordan, all of a sudden nervous. Why had he brought her here? She felt completely out of place.

  Jordan, who must have sensed how uncomfortable she was, grabbed her hand underneath the table and squeezed. His touch reminded her yet again how much she wanted to be near him.

  “I talked to some of your superiors,” Tim said, looking at Jordan. “I got you the promotion you’ve been waiting for.”

  Jordan’s hand stiffened, his expression wavering between shock, fear, and excitement. “Oh.”

  Tim guffawed. “Oh? That’s all you can say?” Then he looked at Avery and his expression changed. “You’re a student, aren’t you, Avery?”

  “I’m a freshman, sir.”

  He nodded and scratched a spot on his jaw. “I see.”

  Jordan slipped his hand from Avery’s and leaned forward. “When would the position start?”

  “As soon as you’re ready. They need someone by the end of the month.”

  “That’s less than two weeks.”

  Tim shrugged. Karma exchanged glances with Heaven. Avery stared at her cutlery. She had a feeling the family was getting entirely the wrong idea about her. Jordan had brought her to meet his parents, after all. But now something had turned the entire situation upside down, and she didn’t even know what it was.

  “I’ll think about it,” Jordan said, nodding as if to convince himself everything was under control. “Give me a few days?”

  “Take your time. Some things are more important than a promotion.” Tim looked at Avery again, hope filling his eyes.

  Halfway through dinner, while Karma and Tim and Heaven were talking, Avery leaned over to Jordan and asked him what had happened, exactly.

  “I asked for a promotion,” he explained, turning to face her. He had a smudge of butter sauce on his bottom lip, and it was all she could do not to reach out and wipe it away. “Dad pulled some strings and it went through.” He paused for a moment, studying her face. “It means I’d have to move to Chicago right away.”

  She stared at his lips, her skin clammy. “I thought I had all this time to figure things out,” she said, “but I guess I was wrong.”

  Jordan kept looking at her. It was obvious he didn’t know what to say. He finally let out a long breath. “We’ve only known each other a couple weeks,” he said in a voice so quiet she hardly heard him. “I mean, I’d be willing to see how things go, but you said you don’t want to rush things, so …”

  “Yeah, I did say that,” she observed with a sigh as her eyes drifted to her plate. The stuffed flounder was beautiful, but it wasn’t appetizing. Her stomach was still full of Chloe’s pasta. “I mean, I keep thinking what it might be like if we just go for it, you know?”

  “Go for …?” Jordan’s eyes widened, and Avery winced.

  She picked up her fork to poke at the bed of asparagus beneath the flounder. “Not that. I meant …Would I sound too much like my aunt Chloe if I said ‘go steady’? I don’t know how else to put it.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “Gosh, I sound lame.”

  “No you don’t,” he laughed. “It sounds perfect to me. Sayonara to Kent and Owen?”

  She looked straight into Jordan’s eyes. “Yeah. Sayonara. I mean, they’ll still be my friends, but … yeah … sayonara to dating.”

  And she meant it. When she looked over at Tim, he was eyeing the both of them with a smirk on his face. Avery blushed and turned back to Jordan.

  “So, are these dinners a way to keep your dad in the picture?” she half-whispered.

  “Yes, mostly Heaven’s idea. She always wants to fix everything. This is the only way she knows how.”

  He touched her bare knee, right below the hem of her dress. His skin was warm, and heat ran all the way from her head to her toes. She smiled as he rubbed his thumb back and forth, looking into her eyes.

  “She thinks if I get together with you, it will fix me,” he s
aid.

  She touched his hand on her knee, feeling his wrist bones, running her fingers through the dips between his knuckles. “Are you still broken?”

  “A little, yeah. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over what happened, but I’m trying. I wanted a promotion so I could get out of Seattle and start over … but then I met you.”

  “And you’d give up a promotion for some girl you’ve known less than a month?” she asked in a teasing tone. But they both knew she was serious.

  He caught her fingers between his, inching closer. “I’m thinking about it. My dad can always help me get another promotion if I work hard enough for it.”

  “What if I hurt you? It might be in a different way than what happened with Callie, but still, my memory can’t be trusted. I’m serious, Jordan.”

  Leaning forward, he brushed his lips across her cheek. He smelled like butter and wine, and she held tightly to his hand. “Sometimes getting hurt is worth it,” he whispered.

  * * *

  Avery should have been nervous on the way back home, but all she could think about was how good it felt when Jordan looked at her. He was serious about giving up a promotion. For her.

  Sitting in the front seat of Heaven’s car, Avery shook her head in disbelief. She hadn’t even known him a month yet, but she’d seen enough in her life to know some things didn’t require a lot of time. Broken hearts didn’t take long. Mending them took a lot longer. But falling in love? That seemed to be different for every couple. No rules applied.

  “Hope you two have a good night,” Heaven chuckled as she pulled up to the curb in front of Jordan’s house.

  When Avery looked over at her, Heaven give her a wink. What did she think was going to happen?

  “Goodnight, Heaven,” Jordan said through his teeth as he got out of the car. Avery followed him.

  “Like I said, I hope you two have a good night. Together.” Heaven waved goodbye, a grin on her face as Jordan and Avery watched her drive away.

  “Well, maybe she has a point,” Jordan said, turning to Avery and pulling her into his arms. “You think?”

  Looking from Chloe’s house to his, Avery swallowed a lump in her throat. “I’m a virgin, Jordan,” she whispered as her mouth went dry. “You know that, right?”

  He squeezed her tighter. “I figured as much.”

  “You’ve figured a lot of things about me, haven’t you? Did you figure you’re only the third guy I’ve ever kissed?”

  “Was Kent the second?” he asked, not looking hurt at all.

  She shifted her eyes to the sidewalk. “Yeah.”

  “Avery,” he said, forcefully enough for her to look back up into his eyes. He lifted a hand and touched her cheek. Soft. Understanding. “I’m not going to force you to do anything. If this is too fast for you, it’s okay. But I need to know if you want to give us a try. This promotion isn’t something I want to give up if you’re having doubts, if you like Kent more than me, or if you want to keep dating other people.”

  She shook her head quickly. “I don’t like Kent more than you. Not even close.”

  A smile melted his expression into relief. “Should we try this out for tonight? See how you feel after that?”

  She wet her lips, her head spinning as her heart pounded in her chest. She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anyone. She could overcome her anxiety. Nothing was standing in her way. He knew about her forgetfulness and he accepted it for what it was. He knew she’d kissed his friend and he didn’t mind.

  “I think I’m falling hard for you,” she said softly. “I didn’t even feel this way about Ryan.”

  “Who’s Ryan?”

  “A guy I’ll have to tell you about sometime. It happened in high school.”

  “Oy,” he laughed as he pulled his keys from his pocket and headed for the house. She followed him. “I have some of my own stories from back then.”

  “Mine are a lot more recent,” she sighed as he opened the front door and they stepped inside. She slipped off her heels, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to make herself at home in his house. He flipped on the hallway light and then stood a few feet away from her, fiddling with his cufflinks. He looked as tense as she felt.

  “You want to watch a movie?” he asked as he reached up to loosen his tie. “Would you mind if I go change first?”

  She swallowed another lump that had formed in her throat. “How about if I help you change?”

  That’s right—get right down to it.

  His face brightened, and it was then that she noticed a picture out of the corner of her eye. It was a wedding picture of Jordan and Callie. He had a past. It wasn’t that she had forgotten, but in the midst of falling for him, it had been shoved to the back of her mind. He’d been married, and it felt as if she might seem immature to him—so naïve and inexperienced.

  He noticed the direction of her gaze. “That’s Callie,” he said, lifting his hand toward the picture. When he turned back to her, his expression was solemn. “I’m sorry, Avery. I didn’t think about how that might bother you. It’s one of the reasons I’ve avoided relationships. It’s some pretty heavy baggage, you know?”

  “It doesn’t bother me,” she replied, stepping closer to him. “Like you told me before, everyone has problems.”

  He brushed his fingers across her hand. “You remembered something I said.”

  “I did, didn’t I?”

  He kissed her, and within two seconds flat she was lost to anything but him. He led her upstairs to his room where she slipped off her dress and helped him out of his suit, which took a lot longer than the dress.

  “Don’t worry about anything,” he sighed into her ear as she fell back onto his bed, still in her underwear. His blankets smelled faintly of his cologne and the soap he used. He brushed some hair away from her face. “Pink bra today?” he asked, tracing his finger up one of the bra straps.

  “Are you obsessed with bra colors?” she giggled.

  “Maybe. Are you nervous?”

  She nodded. “A little.”

  “Well, like I said, don’t worry about anything, okay?”

  She looked at his eyes sparkling in the dim light then moved her gaze around his room, noticing a fish tank on the far wall. It glowed blue as little fish zipped back and forth through the plants.

  “You have fish?” she asked as he settled on top of her and started kissing her neck. The thin material of his boxer shorts brushed against her naked thighs, and she wrapped her trembling arms around him. She doubted her underwear would stay on long. Or his.

  Stay calm, Avery. Stay calm.

  “Yeah, I’ll show them to you later,” he mumbled against her neck.

  “And there’s the cactus you had the day I ran into you,” she said, stretching a little to get a full view of the softball cactus sitting on a shelf above his bed. “Did your mom give it to you?”

  He chuckled as he leaned on his arm and brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. “Yeah, she gave it to me.”

  “Why were you on campus that day?” she asked, truly curious, but also stalling because she couldn’t believe she was practically naked on his bed with him on top of her. Her heart was going a billion miles an hour and she didn’t know how to make it slow down. She was sure Jordan could feel it.

  “I was dropping off some stuff she left here last time she came to dinner.”

  Avery nodded, appreciating the fact that he wasn’t pushing her away from the conversation. “I like that you stay close to your parents. That’s pretty cool.”

  Continuing to stroke her cheek as he gazed into her eyes, he nodded. “They’ve always been there for me. It’s weird, but it’s like their divorce brought us all closer together. The fighting stopped and we could all just be ourselves.”

  “Must be nice to know it doesn’t have to be a huge mess.”

  “We still have our moments.” He leaned down and started kissing her again, sliding his fingers underneath the hem of her panties to tug them down. Sh
e sucked in a breath and he stopped and looked her in the eyes again. “I haven’t pressured you into this, have I?”

  “Not at all,” she answered firmly. “I’m just ridiculously nervous.”

  He held her gaze. He seemed so sure of himself, so understanding. “It’s normal to be nervous the first time, but it’s just me … just plain old Jordan.”

  She exhaled and realized he was absolutely right. After that, his kisses melted her into a puddle of tranquility. This was it. It was happening. She’d feared it for so long it seemed silly now. It wasn’t awkward or scary at all, probably because Jordan knew what he was doing. She tried not to think too much about that.

  Halfway through, he cradled her close to him, his eyes filled with something deeper than she’d ever seen in anyone’s eyes when they looked at her. He loved her, at least in that moment, and she finally knew what it was like to love someone the same way. She knew she’d never forget it no matter what happened.

  20

  For the next two days Avery lost track of time. She didn’t check her phone. She forgot about Kent and Owen and Ryan. There was only Jordan. She wore a pair of his sweats and a T-shirt when he cooked her hot cereal and biscuits for breakfast. She brushed her hair with his comb. He pulled out a new toothbrush for her from a stash underneath his bathroom sink.

  “I get a few every time I go to the dentist,” he laughed. “I think I have thirty-five of them now. If an apocalypse happens, I’m covered in the toothbrush arena.”

  “Or the girlfriend-staying-for-the-weekend arena. You know I could just go get my own next door, right?”

  “But then you’d have to leave.” He pulled her into his arms and nuzzled her hair. “I don’t want you to leave. I haven’t been this happy in so long, Avery. I didn’t think it was possible.”

  She trailed a finger up his bare back. “I didn’t either.”

  “So, the promotion … should I take it?” Pulling away to look her in the eyes, he waited for her answer.