No Exchanges, No Returns

by Laurie Kellogg

  Only a half hour ago, he couldn’t have been happier. His practice was booming, he’d been recommended for Chief of Pediatrics, and they were having a baby. He knew his marriage might not be perfect, but he’d had no clue Brianna was so miserable.

  She picked up her keys from the counter. “I’m gonna go load my car.”

  The gentleman in him instinctively took a step to do it for her.

  No. He forced himself to stop in his tracks. He’d be damned if he’d help her walk out on him.

  She stood on her tiptoes and brushed his cheek with a kiss. “I know you don’t understand, Dave, but I promise you and Casey will both thank me someday.”

  “I wouldn’t bet my last dollar on that,” he called as she headed for the door. Or on the lottery.

  He sank onto the sofa and buried his face in his hands. It shouldn’t surprise him his metaphorical ticket really had turned out to be bogus. It was all he’d ever deserved.

  Chapter 2

  The first Wednesday in June

  By all rights, she should’ve disowned the ungrateful, spoiled witch. Casey McIntyre snorted to herself as she sank onto one of the preschool’s miniature chairs to rest her back and feet. But no-o, instead she’d done as she always had whenever Brianna mucked things up. She’d let her twin dump the mess into her lap.

  “How’s the baby gonna get out?” Four-year-old Kayla patted the nascent paunch under Casey’s pink maternity top. The little imp’s wide gray eyes rounded, glistening like a couple of shiny CDs.

  Now what? Casey blew out a frazzled breath. She certainly couldn’t tell the child her teacher would get the granddaddy of all cramps that would squeeze the baby out of her.

  Answering preschoolers’ delicate questions was one of the most challenging aspects of her job. The safest way was to keep explanations vague but truthful.

  “Well, when he or she gets too big to be inside me, I’ll get a tummy-ache, and the doctor will take the baby out.”

  “Oh.” Kayla nodded, satisfied with the simple answer. She scampered across the classroom to join the other students.

  The class’s slender teacher’s aide, Andrea Seaver, mopped up a puddle of juice from the floor and chuckled. “Their questions are so darn cute.”

  “I’m just grateful none of the little darlings have asked how the baby got in,” Casey muttered.

  Andy raised finely arched eyebrows a shade darker than her bright copper waves. “Ahhh—but there’s another week before graduation. Those inquiring little minds still have lots of time to wonder.”

  “I’ll let their mothers field that question.”

  Even though most of her students’ parents considered it noble that she’d volunteered to serve as her twin’s surrogate, they wouldn’t thank her if she gave their children the real scoop on how a doctor had planted her brother-in-law’s seed inside her so she could give her sister and David a baby.

  Naturally, there’d been a lot of agonizing over that decision, and apparently a lot of regret on both of their parts afterward.

  “I guess you’re pretty pissed at your sister.” Andy cringed slightly as if she feared picking at a festering wound.

  “That’s putting it mildly. I’m actually angrier at myself,” Casey admitted, “for being such a damned marshmallow all the time.”

  Much of her present situation could be blamed on her overdeveloped conscience. She attributed her guilt complex to repeatedly hearing how lucky she was compared to her twin who, after their premature birth, had endured severe childhood asthma, a reading problem, and at eleven years old, landing in rehab with a shattered leg after nearly drowning with their mom.

  If that hadn’t been enough, Brianna then failed to menstruate at puberty and, at the tender age of fourteen, learned of her congenital uterine defect.

  Casey and her twin were as different as a moth and a butterfly. However, they were still more like each other’s alter ego than sisters. Despite all their squabbling as kids, she loved Brie, and she believed Brianna would’ve done the same for her if their situations had been reversed.

  Any good sister would.

  Just as any good sister should find it in her heart to forgive her twin when she had an emotional meltdown and left her unwed sibling to raise her ex brother-in-law’s baby alone.

  “When Brianna asked to use my eggs, I nearly said no. But my dad was so hopeful the surrogacy would help my sister’s self-esteem, I didn’t have the heart to disappoint everyone.” Instead, she’d repeatedly told herself she could still be a big part of her child’s life—just as the doting aunt. “Between you, me, and the flies on the walls, I’ve regretted it ever since.”

  “So you’re actually glad she changed her mind?”

  “I don’t know what I feel anymore.” Casey tossed her hands up. “All I know for sure is I’m not ready to be a mother, and I was hoping to get through the school year without having to tell anyone I’m pregnant.” Since the term was ending in a week, she’d planned to hire a substitute to teach her class in the fall, which would’ve left no one the wiser.

  “If that’s the case, wearing maternity clothes probably wasn’t such a great idea.” Andy grinned, tightening the top on the green tempera paint. “Are you sure the doctor didn’t miss something on the sonogram—like maybe twins? I didn’t think it was normal to show so much at only four months in a first pregnancy.”

  “Now five months,” Casey corrected. “And, yes, I’m sure. Thank you very much for noticing how fat I’m getting. Brianna insists I’ve got a premature pot because I’m short and have less room inside than the average woman.”

  In reality, she’d been eating like a great white shark in a feeding frenzy to stave off her persistent queasiness.

  Samantha Riverá, her other aide who was nearly eight months pregnant, patted her huge belly. “That’s probably true. I’m no taller than you, and I started showing at barely four months.”

  “Yes, but you’ve been pregnant before. I don’t have that excuse.”

  “Have you heard from your sister lately?” Andy asked.

  Casey hoisted her wide-load butt off the low chair and removed a wet painting from the easel. “She called yesterday to tell me her divorce is final.”

  In the past two months, no amount of begging or cajoling had weakened Brianna’s resolve. Yet Casey’s twin had seemed about as sure of what she was doing as an acrophobic going bungee jumping. Granted, it was probably normal for any woman ending her marriage to feel a little remorse, but the level of Brianna’s uncertainty made her seem a little mentally unbalanced.

  “Would you believe she actually had the nerve to say she’s counting on me to help David cope with the divorce? Considering how much that know-it-all and I bicker, I can’t imagine why she would think I’m the right person for that job.”

  Sam took the wet painting from Casey and used a clothespin to hang it on the cord strung along the classroom wall. “I’m confused,” Sam said, glancing back over her shoulder. “If your brother-in-law irritates you that much, why’d you offer to carry his baby in the first place?”

  She’d been asking herself the same thing since January. “He doesn’t exactly irritate me,” Casey explained. “Our relationship is complicated. Anyway, I didn’t do it for him.”

  Despite being annoyed with her twin, her absence made Casey feel as if her left arm had been amputated—an arm to which she’d been very attached.

  Still, as much as their divorce saddened Casey, a little guilt-ridden voice couldn’t resist reminding her that the father of her child was no longer married to her sister. For the first time since David asked Brianna out instead of her, Casey wasn’t flooded with shame every time she thought about him.

  Sadly, her liberation had come at the cost of David’s happiness. Her heart ached at the grief she’d heard in his voice the last time they’d spoken.

  Since then, every time she’d considered calling him to see how he was doing, she’d chickened out, feeling guilty by familial association. The only pers
on he probably wanted to speak to less than her right now was her sister.

  “Brie suggested David and I make a voodoo doll together and stick pins in her effigy.”

  Sam chuckled. “I thought about doing that to Nick while we were divorced last year, but you need some hair or fingernail clippings.”

  “That’s what I told Brianna.” Casey smiled. “She said David should clean out the trap under the bathroom sink since he constantly complained about her long hair clogging the drain.”

  “There you go.” Andy grinned. “You’re in business.”

  Casey heaved a sigh. Maybe it would be easier if she could quit feeling resentful. Bitterness and jealousy were such unattractive traits, and it only made her feel petty. Still, knowing that didn’t alter the fact that the only time she had ever been allowed to upstage Brianna was on their way out of their mother’s womb.

  From the very start, her sister had been given priority due to her health problems. Without fail, Brianna had gotten the first hug when their dad came home, first choice of lunchbox or backpack for school, and even first pick of prom gowns.

  Her entire life, Casey had willingly stepped aside while Brianna had grown into the beautiful, popular, and talented twin—landing the lead in all the high school’s plays and musicals, solos in all the concerts, and making captain of the cheerleading squad.

  Meanwhile, Casey had painted scenery, handed out programs, and played the piano to accompany her sister’s American Idol voice. She’d hidden her short, dumpy figure inside the school mascot’s sweltering cougar costume and had been pals with all the boys who invariably ended up drooling over her sister’s long blonde hair and swimsuit model body.

  None of those inequities had been Brianna’s fault, but to Casey’s great shame, that reality still hadn’t stopped her from envying the one person she loved most in life.

  ~*~

  David peered through the window in the preschool classroom’s door, attempting to attract Casey’s attention while she laughed with her co-workers. Regardless of the stressful circumstances she’d had thrust upon her, the rosy blush in her cheeks suggested her health hadn’t suffered. Pregnancy most definitely seemed to agree with her.

  The noonday sun streaming through the window highlighted the golden streaks in her light brown hair. He’d never known another pair of sisters as dissimilar as Brianna and her petite twin.

  Even though Casey hadn’t inherited their late mother’s classic Nordic beauty and tall, slender figure like his ex-wife had, she was pretty in her own subtle way. Her huge, light blue eyes mirrored her compassionate heart, and she had the kind of cute pixie face that never seemed to age.

  When the nurse had handed him a specimen cup to collect his semen on the day Casey had been due to ovulate, they’d all laughed when Brianna teased that it would’ve been easier if they’d simply gotten a motel room.

  Now, seeing Casey in maternity clothes for the first time stirred feelings that made Brianna’s wisecrack seem tasteless and crude rather than the lighthearted, tension-easing jest she’d intended.

  Recalling the stunt his ex-wife had pulled after her sister had given them such a precious gift, made his gut churn. Unfortunately, the deep state of denial he’d been living in left him just as angry with himself.

  In the two months since she’d left, he’d slowly realized she’d been right about them simply going through the motions of marriage. Outside of the bedroom, they really hadn’t shared much in common. He loved to swim, and she hated the beach. She enjoyed the mountains, and hiking wasn’t his thing. They didn’t even enjoy the same books or movies—or foods, for that matter.

  The main thing he’d missed since Brianna had been gone was having a warm body to hold at night. He’d always hated sleeping alone, and Brianna preferred her space, so he’d had to wait until she fell asleep to cuddle.

  Since his wife’s departure, he’d avoided addressing the baby’s custody issue with Casey or making any plans with her—probably because it would be a final admission that Brianna wasn’t going to change her mind and run back to him.

  In his entire life, he’d never been so gutless—except, maybe, when he’d accepted Casey’s offer to have his baby.

  ~*~

  “How about we have a pizza delivered for lunch?” Andy suggested.

  Casey shook her head. “I’d better stick with yogurt. The eight pounds I’ve put on aren’t all baby.”

  “It’s water, not fat.” Sam flipped her hand in a dismissive wave. “Women’s bodies change a lot during pregnancy. I went from a B cup to overflowing a C.”

  “Tell me about it.” Casey spun her back to the kids and hefted her heavy breasts in her palms. “The Girls have already grown half a size.”

  Andy nudged her shoulder and nodded toward the door. “Isn’t that David in the hallway?”

  David? Andy had only met him once, a year and a half ago, when they’d taken the preschool class on a field trip to the hospital.

  Casey glanced at the door, and her stomach lurched at the sight of his rugged face framed in the window. Great. She yanked her hands from her chest. She’d never hear the end of him seeing her feel herself up. She released a sigh laced with dread and whispered, “What the heck is he doing here?”

  “How should we know?” Andy rolled her green eyes. “Do you think we’d be working for the pittance you pay us if we were psychic?”

  Casey resisted the urge to shove a whiteboard eraser in the smart aleck’s mouth. “That was a rhetorical question.”

  She’d limited the contact she’d had with David since her sister left to a couple of short, uncomfortable phone conversations when he’d called to check on her. Dr. Do-Good had probably decided she was overdue for an in-person lecture on the care and feeding of their unborn child.

  Or....Guilt swelled in her chest. Maybe he’d found out she had the baby’s twenty-week sonogram, and he’d come to ball her out for not inviting him.

  Andy prodded her toward the door. “You’re done for now. See what’s up.”

  On a usual day, Casey taught lessons until lunch, and then, while the kids were napping and playing, she attended to the multitude of administrative duties involved in running her preschool. Lately she’d been so tired she’d been using that time to catch a few Zs.

  Samantha shooed her from the classroom. “Go. We can handle things.”

  Casey slipped out the door and closed it behind her. “David,”—she smiled, breathing his spicy scent wafting through the hallway—“to what do I owe this pleasure?”

  Shifting his feet, he cleared his throat, yet his deep voice still rasped. “I hoped you’d have some free time so I could treat you to lunch. We need to talk.”

  Uh-oh. We need to talk were fighting words. Evidently, she’d be getting the prenatal lecture in addition to the chastising she probably deserved for not including him.

  “Thanks for the invite, but I have a ton of paperwork for the state’s yearly review and a zillion things to organize for the kids’ graduation ceremony.” Not to mention, Samantha’s son was due in only a month, and Sam’s hubby, Nick, had made her promise next Friday would be her last at the preschool. Therefore, Casey needed to hire a new full-time aide ASAP as well as some temporary summer help.

  If all of that wasn’t enough, she’d just received notice yesterday that she had to find someplace new to live.

  “Pleease,” David pleaded. “It’s important.”

  The desperation in his voice made her heart kick into high gear. As a pediatrician who dealt with occasional life-and-death situations, he was more inclined to downplay issues than dramatize them.

  She tipped her head back and peered into his eyes, gasping at the pain flickering in their steel-blue depths. Judging from the way his oxford shirt hung on him, he’d lost as many pounds as she’d gained. The shadows under his eyes made him look as if he’d gone ten rounds with his pillow and lost.

  “All right, talk.” She crossed her arms. “I’m listening.”

  He
glanced over his shoulder. “I don’t want to discuss this here. Pleeease.” His forced smile failed to reach his gaze.

  Her stomach clenched. “Fine. Let’s go next door to my apartment. I was leaving for a catnap anyway.”

  His athletic shoulders sagged in apparent relief as she strode by him to the school’s office and grabbed her handbag. He held the front door for her, and a warm June breeze drifted into the large one-story brick facility.

  She waved to her gray-haired landlady relaxing on the wraparound porch of her home next door to the preschool. When Brianna moved out after getting married, Casey had been unable to afford the rent on the townhouse they’d previously shared. Mrs. Berger’s offer to rent her an efficiency apartment on the back of her old Victorian had been a godsend. Granted, a doghouse would be nearly as spacious, but at least it was cheap and close to the school—a real advantage since her car had over a hundred and fifty thousand miles on it.

  “I really wish you’d let me treat you to lunch,” David said as they crossed the parking lot, his dark hair dancing in the gentle breeze. The silver strands threaded through his flyaway mop shimmered in the sunshine.

  “Stop trying to tempt me,” she said, raising her voice above the grinding sound of the backhoe excavating on the opposite side of the school. “If I gain another ounce before my next prenatal visit, your pal, Paul, will be stamping USDA Prime on my lard butt.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” David flashed his first real smile. “You’ve never looked more beautiful—Elsie.”

  Her anxiety melted with the return of his usual wit.

  “I see they’ve started on the school’s addition,” he said, switching to a topic that previously would’ve been a painful subject for her. “I guess the bank finally approved your loan.”

  “After I jumped through a thousand hoops.” The economic recession had significantly held up her financing. “I just hope it’s finished in time for the new classes to start this fall.”

  The affluent Pennsylvania suburb where she’d established the Laugh, Learn, & Play Preschool was located between Manhattan and Philadelphia, which made it a mecca for young executives. Much to the displeasure of two-career families, the school district only offered half-day kindergarten, creating a need for private, full-day programs.