No Exchanges, No Returns

by Laurie Kellogg

  This year, Casey had finally shown enough profit to enlarge her school building and add a kindergarten class and remedial first grade for students with developmental delays. The extra income would, one day, allow her to afford a home of her own. She wanted a place where she could garden and have the houseful of pets Brianna’s asthma had always prohibited.

  She unlocked the door to her efficiency apartment. “Come on in.” She stepped back to make room so he could enter. No matter how big or small a space was, David always seemed to fill it. She rushed to fold up the sofa bed she’d left open that morning and replaced its cushions so he could sit.

  He glanced around the overcrowded room and his mouth tightened. “When your sister told me you’d moved into a studio apartment in your neighbor’s house, I assumed it was more than an enclosed porch with a hotplate and refrigerator.”

  The last thing she wanted to admit at this moment was the processing of the school’s building permit had raised a red flag with the zoning board. Last week, the town supervisor had realized Mrs. Berger was illegally renting her porch to Casey and sent her landlady a Cease and Desist letter. Now, Casey had until the end of the month to move.

  “It’s really not that bad,” she said, defending her home. “Besides, I’m small, so I don’t need a huge place.”

  “Uh-huh.” His tone said he didn’t believe her.

  “Look, Doctor Lambert, just 'cause you can afford silk boxers, don’t think—”

  “How do you know what kind of shorts I wear?”

  Now was not the time to confess she’d helped Brianna fold his laundry. “Are you saying you cover your superior butt with anything else?”

  “No. But I didn’t buy them—Brianna did,” he told her, sinking onto the couch. “I don’t see why you live like this. You own a business.”

  “And I also owe the bank one of my kidneys. After I finish expanding the school, I should have enough revenue to buy a small house.” And maybe some silk undies.

  “Listen.” He took her hand which felt lost in his huge palm. “I didn’t come here to argue.”

  Every nerve in her crackled at his touch, proving that, although her head and heart had long ago accepted that he’d preferred her sister to her and was off-limits, her body hadn’t.

  “Could we please have a conversation without a debate for a change?”

  “I don’t know.” She yanked her hand back. Past performance didn’t offer much hope. “I suppose we can try. Would you like something to drink?”

  “Sure. You got a beer?”

  She stalled on her way to the tiny fridge. “I’m pregnant, David. I have milk, orange juice, or decaffeinated iced tea. Besides, aren’t you on call?”

  “I’m off until tomorrow. Iced tea.” The last time she’d seen him willingly take a whole day off had been on Brianna’s and her birthday.

  While she poured their drinks, she called over her shoulder, “So if you didn’t come to argue, why are you here? Now that your divorce is final, I’d think you’d be home, getting spiffed up to go clubbing.”

  She turned around, carrying the two glasses. His wounded expression made her freeze. “I-I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

  “Yeah, it was. But you’ve never thought very much of me, have you?”

  If only that were true. She thought about him a little too often for her comfort. It wasn’t as if she loved him or anything. She’d become adept at ignoring her purely physical attraction. Except, now that he was single again, she found it increasingly difficult to remember why she shouldn’t get all tingly when he smiled at her. Maybe it was merely the result of too many hormones and knowing his baby grew inside her.

  “I’d love to know what I ever did to make you believe I’m the kind of sleaze who’d be looking to get lucky the day after his divorce became final.”

  She could tell him. But admitting she’d read more into his flirting when they’d first met would tip him off to the fact she’d hoped he would ask her out.

  “I wasn’t saying you’re a player.” Casey handed him one of the glasses. “I just figured you might need to re-inflate your punctured ego.” She sank next to him on the sofa and patted her stomach. “Do you think I’d be in this shape if I didn’t like you?”

  “No. But that’s just it. I’ve always considered you more of a pal than an in-law. I guess that’s why it stings when you make cracks insinuating you think I’m some kind of satyr.”

  “You’re surprised by that when your first thought, after hearing I planned to give Brianna my eggs, was to go upstairs and get busy with her?”

  “That was completely for her sake.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  He shook his head. “Did you ever think she might have needed a reminder that what we shared in the bedroom was a lot more important than how we had a baby?”

  Hot shame flared in her cheeks. “I’m sorry for not realizing you had that much sensitivity.”

  “Your sister said, when you heard she was filing for divorce, you immediately assumed I’d cheated on her.”

  “Again, please forgive me. I guess I figured, since my sister didn’t give me much of a reason for her sudden about-face, there must have been another woman involved. Personal experience has left me a little mistrustful of men’s ability to think with anything but their penises.”

  “That’s understandable. Brianna told me about your ex-fiancé.”

  She’d never blamed Brie. It wasn’t as if her twin had ever encouraged any of Casey’s boyfriends. “Jeff was just one of the many jerks who couldn’t resist my sister.”

  “You’re forgiven.” He clinked his glass against hers.

  “Honestly, David, some of our values might differ, but, overall, I think you’re okay.”

  He took a sip and wiped his mouth. “Thanks. If I have to be stuck with someone in this mess, there’s no one I’d rather sort it out with than you.”

  The fire in her cheeks crept higher, scorching her entire face. She’d squashed her infatuation a long time ago. She couldn’t let herself backslide. “I’m glad.”

  He picked up the floppy stuffed dog from the end table and studied its ragged, one-eyed face. She held her breath, waiting for a snide crack about her keepsake. Instead, he surprised her by asking, “What’s this little fellow’s name?”

  “Sparky. My mom won him for me on the boardwalk the night before she drowned. His eye—or I should say eyes—used to sparkle.” She took the dog from him and put it back in his place next to the framed photo of her mother reading to her and Brianna when they were four. In the picture, the soles of their tights were filthy after running around without shoes, and Casey’s bangs stuck out like scarecrow fringe.

  “I’ve never seen this picture. What happened to your hair?”

  “Brianna gave me a trim with our blunt-tipped scissors.” An awkward silence filled the room. After several uncomfortable seconds, she finally broke it. “So what’d you stop by to talk to me about?”

  “A couple of things. First, I wanted to know when your ultrasound is.”

  “Uhh....last week.” Seeing the disappointment in his eyes, she swallowed hard. “I’m sorry. I felt self-conscious about asking if you wanted to go with me.”

  “Of course I did.” He evidently realized how let-down he sounded and patted her arm. “It’s okay. I should’ve asked sooner. When is your next check-up?”

  “Next Thursday at two. I don’t know where my head was when I scheduled it. I’ve got the kids’ graduation the following evening, and I still have a million things to do for it.”

  “Do you mind if I go to that appointment with you?”

  “Actually—” Her knee-jerk objection died on her lips as she glanced up and caught him gazing at her belly, wearing a tender smile. How could she deny him the chance to be part of her pregnancy? If she protested, she’d have to admit how awkward it would be having him there without her sister—almost as if they were a couple.

  He lifted his gaze to hers. “Tinkerbelle? Do you min
d?”

  Heck, yeah. She gnawed on her lip a moment. “I-I guess not.” It wasn’t as if she would need an internal exam. “You can meet me at Paul’s office about one-forty-five.”

  “Thanks.” He glanced at his watch, and hope surged in her that he was leaving. Instead, he smiled and said, “The other reason I stopped was to clarify something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “When Brianna called yesterday to let me know the divorce was finalized, she said something that suggested you feel as if you’re being forced into motherhood.”

  “Aren’t I?”

  “No!” He shook his head emphatically. “Maybe I gave you the wrong impression. After your sister left, I was in shock and stressed out by the idea of caring for a child alone. But I don’t expect you to raise our baby. Nothing’s really changed. I still want custody.”

  “What?” She did a double take. “Of course everything’s changed! Our agreement stipulated I’d allow my sister to adopt my baby—not let my child grow up without a mother.”

  “So you want to go back on your word and keep the baby?”

  “Any promise I made to give you custody was nullified when Brianna walked out.” She laid her hand over her belly and rubbed the tiny mound. “I know how many hours you work, David—not to mention all the time you volunteer at the clinic.”

  The whole reason he was one of the most sought after pediatricians in Bucks County was because he spent extra time with his patients.

  “I respect that you’re dedicated to the kids you treat. And I understand you want to be the best doctor you can be. But I won’t let you hire some stranger to raise my child. You forget—I know what it’s like growing up without a mom and with a father who’s always at work.”

  Determination glinted in his steely gaze. “Look, I’ve given this a great deal of thought in the last month. I’ve been confused about a lot, but one thing I do know is that I don’t want to be a part-time dad. If you’re so set on being involved with our baby full-time, then move in and be his mother. Because I’m sure as hell not giving up my kid.”

  Casey stared at David, speechless for a moment. “You want me to live with you?”

  “Why not? The house has five bedrooms. As you pointed out, I’m working ten to twelve hours a day. You’d mostly have the place to yourself. It’s not as if you have room for a baby in this closet you call an apartment.”

  He was right about that. If things got ugly and they ended up in a custody battle, she’d be hard-pressed to prove she could provide for their child better than David—especially since he had the resources for top-notch legal counsel.

  Still....living with him would be much too stressful.

  “Uhh, actually, I just found out yesterday I have to move out of this so-called closet by the end of the month. As I mention earlier, I’m hoping to buy a small house as soon as the revenue from the school goes up.” She cocked one eyebrow at him. “I assume you’ll be supporting our child.”

  “Of course. And I resent the implication that I wouldn’t. Hell, I owe you so much for what you’re doing, I’ll buy you a damn house. But I refuse to settle for just visitation.”

  “I resent that.” She bit the inside of her lip to stop its quivering. “You know I’d let you see our child any time.”

  “I’m not saying you wouldn’t, Tinkerbelle.” The gentling of his tone and the use of his nickname for her made her insides melt like Swiss chocolate in the sun. “Try to look at this from my side. It’s not practical for me to drive to your place every time I have a few free hours to play with my kid.” He waved toward her. “Besides, wasn’t the original plan for you to use my guestroom this summer so you could get some rest?”

  “That was before my sister left.”

  “So where are you going to live while we shop for a house for you?”

  “Finding an interim apartment is one of the many things on my to-do list this afternoon.”

  “Look,”—he cupped her cheek in his hand—“the one thing we agree on is it’s in our baby’s best interest to have two parents. I can never repay you for what you’re doing, and I don’t want things to get nasty. Can’t we just take it one day at a time? Move into the house for the summer, and we’ll figure out our permanent living arrangements after the baby’s born.”

  “Don’t you think Brianna will have a problem with me staying alone with you?”

  His lip lifted in a bitter curl. “Tough if she does. She signed away her right to care about anything I do. If it does matter to her, maybe it’ll convince her to come home.”

  Which was precisely what Casey feared. She didn’t want to think about what would happen when her sister realized her mistake. If Casey allowed herself to love her baby as her own, she’d be devastated if her sister did an about-face.

  Regardless, her conscience wouldn’t let her deny David even the slightest chance to get his wife back—especially since Casey wanted their baby to have a two-parent home.

  “Knowing how competitive my sister is, you may be right.”

  His eyebrows drew together into a deep fissure. “What do you mean?”

  “Just that this situation reminds me of the Newborn Thumbelina incident.” Seeing his confusion, she explained. “When we were eight, one of our teenaged cousins found her old baby doll in the attic and gave it to Brie. If you pulled its string, it wiggled like a real baby, but it was dirty and had tangled hair, so my sister stuck her nose up at it. I washed the doll off, combed its hair, and my mom helped me make it a new dress. When Brianna saw how good it looked and how attached I’d gotten—”

  “She wanted it back,” he finished for her.

  Casey nodded and shifted sideways on the sofa, her stomach in a knot. “We got into a tug-of-war, and Brie yanked the doll’s arm off.”

  “You think I’m gonna pull a King Solomon and cut our baby in half?”

  “No. You’re the doll in this analogy.”

  “So what’re you suggesting? We act interested in each other to make your sister jealous?”

  It wouldn’t stretch Casey’s imagination much to pretend. Aside from David’s materialistic and workaholic tendencies, he was everything she’d ever wanted in a man—gentle, compassionate, with an incredible sense of humor. They shared the same taste in books, movies, and music. But most of all, he loved kids as much as she did.

  “Tinkerbelle, I don’t want Brianna to come back because of sibling rivalry.”

  “No—I’m not suggesting making her jealous. I simply meant she might see you differently and realize what she’s given up.”

  “Why would she?” His mouth curved in a crooked smile, deepening the sexy dimple in his cheek that always turned her insides to mush. “Or do you think you can just give me a bath and a fancy dress like the doll?”

  The mental image of her sponging his hard naked body gave birth to a warm shiver. She folded her hands to stop their trembling. “How can you make jokes about this?”

  “I’m sorry.” One of his shoulders rose in an abashed shrug. “I find humor preferable to lying on a therapist’s couch and popping Prozac like M&Ms.”

  He was right. Laughter was the best medicine, and unlike her, he didn’t have a flood of extra hormones playing havoc with his feelings.

  “I’ll make you a dress if you’d like.” She returned his smile. “You never know how Brianna might feel when she sees how cute you look in a frilly pinafore.”

  “All right. But I draw the line at bows in my hair.”

  As if any amount of ribbons or ruffles could detract from his virility.

  “So how about it?” He raised his arms and stretched. “Next Thursday I’ll meet you at Paul’s office for your check-up, and that Saturday we’ll move you into the house.”

  “Umm....I still don’t know about living with—”

  “Well, you just admitted you can’t stay here.”

  True. Before Brianna’s breakdown, Casey had looked forward to having some room to spread out in again. Right now, she couldn’t
afford a place much larger than where she presently lived.

  His eyebrows lifted in a hopeful arch as he watched her face, no doubt seeing her turmoil. “Come on, Tinkerbelle. Why would you want to stay cooped up in a stuffy apartment all summer when you could be floating in my pool soaking up sunshine?”

  Why indeed? The longer he coaxed, the more insane it seemed to turn down the chance to pamper herself at Club Lambert—particularly since he’d rarely be there.

  She finally caved “Okay. But only until after the baby’s born. Then I’m buying a place of my own.”

  “Fine,” he agreed. “Staying with me should allow you to save even more.” Her heart nearly seized as he added, “I’ll even let you sleep in the master suite since I have trouble sleeping alone in there after sharing it with Brianna.”

  Her expression must have revealed the improper turn of her thoughts, because a sheepish look flashed across his face, and he quickly reassured her, “I’ve been sacking out in the guestroom—where I’ll remain, of course.”

  She gasped, feigning insult that he could believe she’d misconstrued his offer. “I never thought otherwise.”

  ‘Liar! Liar!’ her inner child screamed in the old crone’s voice from Princess Bride.

  Okay, so maybe a tiny wicked part of her had thought he might have something a little cozier in mind.

  “If that’s all you needed to discuss....” She stifled an exaggerated yawn.

  “I just had one other thought. Since you no longer need to go apartment hunting this afternoon, let me treat you to lunch and a matinee.”

  So much for hoping he’d take the hint and skedaddle. “I—uhh....I don’t think so. I really have a lot to do before graduation.”

  “Come with me.” He mad a sad puppy-dog face. “I hate sitting alone at the movies. And I can’t stand the idea of going home to an empty house this early. When we get back, I’ll give you a hand with whatever needs to be done.”

  I’m counting on you to help Dave cope with the divorce. Brianna’s voice echoed in Casey’s head. He’s bound to be lonely and depressed.