“He didn’t tell me nothing, honey. He knows better. I ain’t part of that church anymore, and I ain’t under his thumb. I just wanted you to know that.”
He smiled at me, and I thanked him. Then we said our goodbyes, and I wandered toward home with my head swimming with all kinds of thoughts. It was clear Cass was determined to ruin my family, but I couldn’t wrap my head around why. And how far was he willing to go?
Chapter Sixteen
The following Sunday I went to church with the Doyles, so I had taken some food to Hannah and Samuel on Saturday. I’d noticed once again the poor state of their clothes, so on the way into Cullman Sunday morning, I asked Matthew if they ever donated any to the church. He glanced over at me kind of funny before turning his attention back to the road in front of him.
“What do you need, Ruby? You know I’ll get it for you.”
“I don’t need anything. I was just wondering is all.”
“Mother does all that,” Mary said from the back seat. “She gathers all our old clothing up a couple of times a year and takes it someplace.”
I stared out of the window and wondered if I could get up the nerve to ask Mrs. Doyle for something else. I got the feeling sometimes she still thought I was using the food she gave me to feed my own family. But if I was going to help Hannah and Samuel, I’d have to swallow some more of that infernal pride of mine. Seemed to me I should have very little of it left by now.
“What’re you scheming at over there?” Matthew asked.
“Nothing.” I shrugged and tried my best not to look at him. He was especially handsome this morning, and my stomach had been doing cartwheels since he’d climbed out of the car at my house. I’d never seen him in a tie before.
“Naw, you’re up to something. Might as well spill it. What do you need clothes for?”
I still didn’t answer. I found that was the best method for avoiding his questions. It didn’t quench his curiosity any, but it didn’t anger him as much as my answers did most of the time.
“Well I know it ain’t for you,” he continued. “You got too much pride to ask for anything for yourself. So it must be for the family you been carrying food to. Am I right?”
I glanced at him and shrugged again. “Maybe.”
By that time we’d reached the parking lot of the church, so I got a reprieve from his questions while we walked up the stairs. He was greeted by nearly everyone we passed. Mary too. She introduced me, and I got a few polite nods, but not much of anything else. Most of these people were dressed in much finer clothes than I could imagine ever owning in a million years. I smoothed my hands down my dress, the one Daddy had given me last Christmas. It didn’t fit the same as it had when I’d worn it for Daddy’s funeral. Mother even gasped a little when she went to tie it in the back. She’d teared up and told me I had to stop giving our food away. I couldn’t agree to that, but I couldn’t tell her no either, so I just hugged her tight.
I’d thought wearing the dress would help me fit in a little better at Matthew’s church, but I could see now that even the best Daddy could buy wouldn’t compare with these folks. But once we made it inside the church I felt a little more relaxed. There were many families already seated, and I could tell they weren’t the well-to-do crowd we’d met on the steps. Some of them looked as downright poor as us. I followed Matthew and Mary down the left aisle to a pew near the front where Mr. and Mrs. Doyle stood. Mrs. Doyle opened her arms as soon as she saw me, hugging me like we hadn’t just seen each other the previous day.
“Ruby, I’m so glad you could make it,” she said, pulling back and giving me a smile.
“Me too,” I said. “Thank you for having me join you today.”
She touched Mr. Doyle on the arm, who was talking to another man in front of him. “Honey, the kids are here.”
He glanced at me with a slight frown. “Yes, I see.” Then he returned to his conversation.
Before I could wonder too much about his cool reception, Brother Cass strode up to the pulpit, and everyone took their seats. Matthew, Mary, and I sat behind their parents, and I did my very best to listen to what was being said. We stood several times for hymns, and I managed to sing all the words, but my mind kept thinking on the fact that Matthew was right there next to me. Like a foolish little girl, I couldn’t help myself from imagining this as my life. What would it be like to stand next to him all the time, to have him hold my hand, or put his arm around me? I felt a blush creeping up my neck, and I did everything I could to focus on the words of the song we were singing. I was sure God was just as mad as he could be with me thinking such thoughts in a church.
Once the sermon got underway, it was even harder to concentrate. Old Cass was apparently preaching through the book of James, which I found rather ironic since I’d been studying that very book lately, and he was enthralled with his performance. I did get a particular enjoyment out of the one moment he stumbled. He was going on and on about being doers of the Word and not hearers only, when his eyes fell on me. He froze for a brief moment, and I gave him a big smile. I think his lip even twitched. But then he continued on with all his hot air.
By the end of the sermon, I’d completely tuned him out, and I was instead thinking about Samuel being unable to attend school. I wondered if Hannah would let me teach him to read, and if so, if I could get some old books from the library to use. But my thoughts were interrupted by something Cass said.
“Beware, young people, as you go out into this world, of the evils that seek to entrap you.” He turned his gaze directly at me then. “You’ll find that there are many wolves in sheep’s clothing, waiting for the moment when your guard is down. And they will lead you astray with all manner of false doctrine.” He went back to searching the congregation’s faces, as if he was desperate to save them from a wolf in their very midst. “I tell you all, evil will seek to do its work in the darkness, under the veil of secrecy and lies. But First John chapter four says, ‘Beloved, believe not every spirit but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.’” He paused, and his eyes fell on me again. This time my skin started to crawl. “Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, do not tolerate evil, for if you are not diligent, it will work its way into the very sinew of your bones. Evil must be cast out!”
I managed to make it out of the church without setting anything on fire with my blazing tongue, even when I shook that old goat’s hand as we left. I was even right pleased with myself for being able to let such an obvious attack on my character slide past. But when we arrived at the Doyles’ house, he was perched on a sofa in the sitting room like he was waiting to pounce on his prey. I knew right then I was bound to say something I shouldn’t if I didn’t do my best to avoid him. Unfortunately, God seemed determined to test me.
Sticking close to Mary was out. Her mother called her into a conversation on the other side of the room. Matthew was busy answering questions about his future, especially about his invitation to walk onto the football team. Apparently they’d been National Champions the previous year, which was a big deal in these parts. Since I didn’t know anyone else as far as I could see, I wandered to a chair over by the window in a corner of the room.
I tried to drown out the sounds of all the people around me and pretend I didn’t feel completely out of place. How foolish I’d been earlier during church to even entertain the thought of being with Matthew. I’d never fit into his world. And, as if God wanted to make sure I got the message, he sent Cass over to me for good measure.
“I’m glad you were able to join us for worship this morning, Miss Ruby.” He stood next to my chair looking down on me, a position which I was sure he greatly enjoyed.
“Thank you, Brother Cass. The sermon was quite enlightening.” I smiled up at him with the best I could muster at the moment. Mary and Matthew were both still talking to others, so there appeared to be no escape.
“I suppose you’ll be sad to see Matthew leave us.”
“Yes. He’s been a good friend.”
He nodded and patted my shoulder like we were friends. “Still, it’s wonderful to see him so happy and full of hope for the future, especially after such a terrible battle with T.B. You must be so pleased to see him continuing in good health.”
“Of course. I’d have to be pretty heartless to feel otherwise.” I raised an eyebrow at him, hoping he got my subtle message as well as I’d gotten his that morning.
“I’m still curious on how he recovered so quickly after your visit with him. What exactly did you do for him that night?”
“I didn’t do anything. Just prayed for God’s healing. He did the rest.”
“I never did get the opportunity to speak with your uncle. Have you heard from him lately?”
I folded my hands in my lap and gripped them tightly. I wasn’t sure how long I could pretend to be polite. “Yes, and he’s doing well.”
He waited as though he wanted me to elaborate, but I turned my gaze to the flowers outside the window, hoping he would realize I had nothing more to say to him. He didn’t take the hint.
“I suppose the cotton crop will be coming in soon. You and your family will be awfully busy. I doubt you’ll find time to continue serving at our church.”
“I’m sure I’ll manage.”
He came around my chair and stood in my line of vision. “Now listen here, young lady. I won’t allow you to take advantage of the Doyles’ generosity much longer.” I looked up at him, surprised his facade had finally broken. “They may not see you and your family for who you really are, but I have seen for myself what you people are capable of. I will not allow these nice folks to be hurt by another Graves who believes they can wield the power of God.”
I stood up so I could look him directly in the eye. “Brother Cass, I have no idea what you’re referring to. But I would never hurt anyone, especially a family that’s loved me so dearly. Now I don’t know what I’ve ever done to deserve your judgment, but I think it would be best if we didn’t speak to one another. Please excuse me.”
I turned to go, and as I did he uttered a statement that chilled my blood. “It sure would be a shame if cotton prices fell.” I turned back to face him as he continued. “These are difficult days. Prices have been unstable. Of course, you all didn’t have the opportunity to plant the cotton you’re farming. It would be terrible if that cotton wasn’t very high quality. I’d hate to see your family in any more financial trouble, Miss Ruby.”
I couldn’t think of one thing to say as he walked away. Surely he wasn’t trying to tell me he could somehow affect the price James would get for his cotton. I watched him cross the room and start up a conversation with Mr. Doyle. He was already speaking with Mr. Goode, the president of the largest bank in town, the one that had foreclosed on our house. Mr. Goode was also a deacon. In fact, I realized what Cass had been trying to tell me the first time he’d pointed out his list of deacons.
Cass had orchestrated us losing our home, apparently tried to keep us from getting a place at Calhoun’s, and possibly setting something else in motion, something to keep us from selling our cotton. How could a man who was supposed to love the Lord work so hard to destroy our livelihood? What was more, how could God allow him to get away with it?
I barely swallowed a few bites of dinner, and I couldn’t remember what was even served. All I wanted was to get out of there. I didn’t make much of an effort to talk with Mary. I hoped she didn’t think I was being rude. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around why Cass was so hateful.
When it was time to leave, I approached Mrs. Doyle near the front door to thank her for having me. “Oh Ruby, I’ve been meaning to speak to you all afternoon, but I’ve been so busy!” She shook hands with several people saying goodbye before she turned back to me. “Listen, honey, I have some bad news. The family stores haven’t been doing well this summer, and Mr. Doyle is concerned we won’t have enough to support ourselves this winter. I won’t be able to buy any extra food for the soup kitchen anymore.”
My heart sank, knowing exactly who this was really coming from. But I didn’t want to cause Mrs. Doyle any more grief. “Thank you so much for your help so far. I understand how tough times are for everyone.”
“You’ll be all right then?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I glanced around and saw Cass about to get into his car. He made eye contact with me, tipped his hat, and disappeared into the car.
Matthew and I were both pretty quiet on the ride home. I’d have thought riding in a car alone with him would’ve sent my heart into outer space, but I felt so empty. What was I going to tell Hannah? I still had a couple of jars of food from our house to take her, but it wasn’t enough for them to live on. Surely if the Lord could feed five thousand with a couple of fish and some bread, he could provide food for Hannah and Samuel. I was just going to have to hold onto my faith somehow.
When we were a few minutes from home, I realized this would be the last time I’d see Matthew for a while, and my throat started to ache. He asked me why I was so quiet. I couldn’t say much without saying everything. So I shrugged and fiddled with my hands in my lap.
“Just some things on my mind,” I said.
“You gonna miss me?”
I could hear the teasing in his voice, and I tried to smile. “Not much.”
He laughed, which helped a little. “I’ll be back to visit pretty often.”
I wondered if he meant that, or if he was only trying to make me feel better. “Are you really going to try to play football?”
“Lord willing.” He smiled at me before looking at the road again. “Can you imagine? A National Championship?”
I could imagine that for him with no problem. I could see his big dreams coming true, and his life spreading out like the branches of an immense oak tree, soaking up the sun. A beautiful life.
“Of course,” he continued. “That ain’t why I’m going. I love the idea of playing ball, and I guess if football don’t work out I can give it a go at basketball or baseball. But I figured out some pretty important things this spring. I aim to work hard and learn all about building things. You wait and see. I’ll be building the biggest skyscrapers you ever saw!”
I hadn’t ever seen a single skyscraper in my life. I didn’t think this was the right time to bring it up. By that time we’d reached the house. I jumped out and thanked him for the ride, keeping my head down to hide the tears that were building.
“Hold on a second,” he said and climbed out too.
He strode around the front of the car and stood there like he was waiting on me, so I walked over to him. I wondered what he was thinking. I was ashamed to hope he was going to kiss me goodbye, but that thought invaded my mind before I could stop it.
“I just wanted to tell you,” he said. “I know I owe you my life.” I blushed and shook my head, but before I could say anything, he continued. “I don’t mean to say that you healed me or nothing. I know God did that. But Ruby, I didn’t think I’d ever have a chance to do anything. But you wouldn’t let me give up hope. And I’ll never forget that. So I wanted to say thank you.”
Two determined tears slipped away. I tried to swipe them before he saw, but I wasn’t quick enough. I turned away and tried to find something, anything, I could focus on that would help me keep control.
“Why’re you crying?”
I took a deep breath, knowing I’d have to say something, or I’d give myself away completely. “I’m just so proud of you.” My stomach knotted up. “Look at you! You’re a completely different person from the brooding boy I met a few months ago that wouldn’t even speak to me. I’m so happy for you, I can hardly stand it!”
He smiled at me, that big smile that made my heart sing. Then he pulled me into a hug, and it hit me how much I’d been longing for him to put his arms around me. My face went hot against his shirt, and I felt the muscles in his back tighten beneath my arms. It only lasted for a few seconds, but every nerve of my body memorized th
e warmth rushing through me.
He pulled back, and in one swift motion, kissed me on the cheek. He walked back to the driver’s side of the car and waved. “I’ll see you soon, Ruby. You stay out of trouble, you hear?”
I could feel the breeze lapping at the spot on my cheek that was still slightly damp. I wished it would never go away. I wished I was going with him.
I watched his car turn onto the road and the dust floating after him like it wanted to go too. Then I finally went into the house and let out my breath. James was seated at the table with Mother, and Henry stood near the front window. I expected a joke, some kind of remark to belittle me. But Henry tilted his head and opened his arms.
“You all right, Rubes?”
I flew to him and wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could, letting out the sobs I’d been holding back. I didn’t care what anyone thought, or that I was finally admitting how much I loved Matthew. I just had to let it go. And Henry held me until I was all cried out.
After a while, I fell asleep on Mother’s bed by the chimney. But it wasn’t long before I was awakened by the sounds of my brothers fighting again. They were getting worse every day, and I was getting so sick of it I could hardly stand to be in the house with them on the rare occasions they were both home at the same time. Before I even opened my eyes, I could tell this was a bad one.
Something slammed onto the table, jerking my eyes open. “We need you to take some more responsibility around here!” That was James. I could tell from the strain in his voice that seemed to be a permanent change.
I sat up and looked across the room at the table. They were standing on opposite ends with Mother seated between them, her head in her hands. Sometimes she tried to stop them, but lately she seemed to have given up.
Henry leaned onto the table and fired back. “I ain’t some kid you can order around. I’m nearly a grown man—”
“Exactly!” James interrupted.
“Let me finish! I’m nearly a grown man, and I got to make my own way in the world. How’m I ever gonna get noticed playing ball if I’m working every minute of every day? I got my own dreams, and I ain’t getting stuck here farming for the rest of my life. I ain’t a farmer. And you know it.”
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