The Ultimate Choice

by Lisa C Hinsley

  Both nodded, and went back to staring at Cassie.

  For a moment, everyone stayed silent, as if an answer was expected from her. She cleared her throat and said in a quiet voice, “But why bother with me? I’m nothing to them.”

  An old woman stepped up and linked arms with the man who’d been speaking. “The government’s a bully, and bullies can’t stand to be beaten.”

  A big brute of a man shouted out, “Who cares, what I do know is she shouldn’t be here.”

  “John, you can’t mean that,” the woman next to him said, was she his wife?

  “I do, and I can see I’m not the only one who thinks the same. We’d all be home safe, cooking up something tasty to eat by now. Instead we’re mourning the loss of not one, but three of our clan.” John waved a finger at Dan. “And this plonker decides to bring the murderess back under our roof.”

  Dan shook his head. “Don’t you get it? This girl managed to survive on her own for days. Surely someone possessing such a will to live should be here with us.”

  “I don’t give a shit. Get rid of her. Dump her out by the police station and let them have her.”

  “We can’t just hand her over to the authorities, John,” the woman at his side said. “Then we’d be doing the same as them.” She glanced over at Cassie. “We’re supposed to be better than them.”

  “Lucy, don’t be so bloody dim. That woman is being searched for by the police. Right now, they have adverts on the telly offering rewards for information on her whereabouts.” He stared directly at Cassie. “Food rewards.”

  His round face was rapidly turning crimson. Cassie tried to shrink away from the group again. More than anything she wanted to be somewhere else, even Elijah would be okay right now. John looked like he was about to explode with rage. He marched straight at her, fists clenched.

  “One life for all, John. Don’t forget our beliefs,” the old woman said.

  Cassie gasped. He intended to turn her in. This man, John, he’d drag her to the nearest police station and claim the food reward. She glanced at Dan, but he wasn’t doing anything.

  “John!” His wife said.

  “We believe in one life for all. That includes her.” The old woman took a step towards him. She reached out for him, but in a noncommittal kind of way.

  “Stop bloody defending her. She murdered Georgie, Charlie and Hannah. Say their names out loud, go on, I dare you.”

  John, cut it out.” The lady who seemed to be his wife was close to crying. She ran her hands through her short ginger hair and turned to Dan, as if for help. “Calm him down. Please.”

  Dan had been stood scratching at his beard while the man and woman argued. Now he was moving, but not towards John. Instead he grabbed Cassie by the arm and dragged her to the door. “Wait in the hall,” he said gruffly and shoved her out.

  Cassie staggered out of the room, still almost inside when the door slammed shut in her face. There was a noise behind her, and she whirled around half-expecting to be attacked by the other man, Liam. Instead she found four children stood in the hall quietly regarding her.

  A young child with long brown ringlet hair stood closest. She must have been crying recently, her eyes were red and her face had a puffy look. She held hands with a teen girl whose brown-black eyes fixed scarily on Cassie. Further down the hall two blonde girls who seemed to belong to Dan leaned against a wall.

  The little girl made a sniffing sound and then started whimpering.

  The teen pulled her closer and whispered, “Shush, Violet. It’ll all be okay, you’ll see. We’ll all take care of you.” Unnervingly, the teen’s gaze never left Cassie.

  Sobs erupted from Violet. “I want my mummy. I want my daddy.” She held hard onto the teen, knuckles white. “I want my huggles from them.” Her little face suddenly went red with fury. She scraped a sleeve across her face to dry the tears. “I. Don’t. Want. Them. Dead!” Each word was accented with a stamp of her foot. Then she shouted, “I don’t like dead!” and collapsed against the teen in huge heart-breaking sobs, fresh tears coursing down her face.

  Anger flared for a moment. Cassie had wanted to try and eavesdrop on the room behind her. But the girl’s wailing drowned out everything except for the odd unintelligible shout from behind the door. Why didn’t the silly girl just quieten down and let her listen?

  Violet’s cries softened, and in the midst of all the noise, a thought came to Cassie. Her heart seemed to chill as she came to the realisation – she was the one who had caused this. Everything. All the upset here amongst these illegals. The deaths in the greenhouse. This little girl, apparently now orphaned and stood only a few feet in front of her, hung limp from the arms of the teen. She ignored all efforts to comfort her, pounding weak fists against the teen, yet Violet was and falling to the ground regardless of the older girl’s efforts.

  All this pain, all Cassie’s fault.

  And what about the man? He’d given her the evil eye as he’d fled from her presence, unable to even remain in the room with the woman who had caused the death of his loved one. What was his story? What relationship did he have to the ones who died? He seemed more upset than any of the others.

  But they didn’t just die.

  Murderess!

  Was that what she was? She’d escaped The Ultimate Choice to live. Surviving on the dream of farms and getting Jack back. Now she had caused the deaths three people and found out the police were on the hunt for her. Had the authorities euthanized Jack anyway, purely because they couldn’t find her? Had her parents had to hand over their charge because she had resisted a ‘dignified’ death? Be honest with yourself, Cassie, she thought. If anything, it was because she dared run away from them. Bet Bob Devine was revelling in all of this. Her escape and the hunt for her must have done wonders to his precious ratings.

  Too many thoughts raced around her mind, but one word kept popping up, screaming at her: murderer!

  Cassie leaned against the wall and slid to the ground. “I’m so sorry!” she cried. “I didn’t mean to. I thought I was alone in the greenhouse. They came at me, and I screamed, and if I hadn’t done that your mum and dad would be alive now, and I’m so, so sorry.” Cassie burst into tears, covering her face from the girls. Her outburst silenced Violet.

  The door burst open. Cassie glanced over her hands to see Dan stride out, past Cassie and the children, and down the hall. He dipped into a room at the end – he couldn’t have uttered more than a couple of words, as he strode almost immediately back out. Liam and the two women trailed him. All four ignored Cassie and seconds later, the meeting room door closed once again.

  Were they voting? Deciding whether to turn her in? Deciding to carve her up and preserve her for winter feasts? They didn’t seem the type to be cannibals, but she couldn’t forget they were rebels. A shiver ran over her.

  Violet let go of the teens hand and took a step towards Cassie. “It’s your fault my Mummy and my Daddy are dead. I hate you.”

  “I think I hate myself enough for everyone right now,” Cassie mumbled. “I should leave.” A small part of her hoped one of the children would show compassion, forgive her just a little. Maybe suggest she could stay for a night. That she too might be deserving of a hand to hold, of a warm body to hug, of a kind touch to wipe her tears away.

  The teen spoke up, “Why don’t you go to the police station and ask them for the injection. Nobody wants you here.”

  Cassie drew her legs up and buried her face against her knees, folding her arms around to try and mute the sounds of the children as they came closer to stare.

  “Look at the freak, the murderer.” That was the teen.

  “If you’re quick you’ll get a kick in her side.” Was that one of Dan’s little girls – Poppy or Honey?

  “Oh, she deserves whatever we want to do to her.” The teen spoke again.

  Words whispered in the hall. Did their parents not teach them about respect? There was certainly none given to her.

  But how could the
re be so many voices, so many children? She chanced a look, and to her amazement, the hallway seemed to have filled with children. Boys, girls, teens, more children than she’d ever seen in one place before all crowded together and all focussed in on her. They started closing in. Maybe they actually did plan to hurt her. Maybe she deserved whatever they gave her.

  Cassie braced for the first attack. She lowered her arms and legs and watched them unblinkingly.

  Dan came out of the meeting room a second time. This time he stopped in front of her, the children scattering behind him, some disappearing into other rooms. He held out a hand to help her up. “Come on then.” A smile played on his lips, and Cassie couldn’t help but think how it suited him. “I have convinced them to let you stay.”

  “You’re kidding me?” Cassie grabbed his offered hand, savouring the tingle she fancied she felt while their skin touched. She was on her feet in an instant.

  “It’s going to take a while for some of them to warm to you.” The smile broadened. His teeth were white and straight, his lips so kissable. She caught herself before she leaned in. He spoke again. “Watch what you say, okay?”

  Cassie nodded.

  “You’re in, kid!”

  She followed him back inside the room, and back into another harsh reality. All faces turned towards her. Some had half smiles of welcome. Others had arms crossed and foreheads creased as they glanced between Dan, almost as if they blamed him for her presence. Their dark expressions seemed to suggest abandoning her now. The smile she’d walked in with faded as Cassie half hid behind her saviour as he faced the room.

  “Sit, everyone.”

  A table she’d not noticed before towards the back of the room had enough seats for fourteen people. As the adults automatically did as they were told and filled the chairs, they left the seat at the top of the table free – was that Dan’s place? And three other painfully empty spaces.

  “I want everyone to introduce themselves, and maybe say a little about themselves.” Dan shook Cassie off and sat where she suspected he would at head of the table, leaving her by herself. Abandoned, alone, vulnerable she stood on display in front of all these people who mostly seemed to hate her. She glanced behind her at the door. The easiest solution was to run out onto the street, hail down a couple of policemen, and ask to be injected. They get a bonus, she gets to close her eyes on all of this, all these emotions, all the hurt. Someone cleared their throat, and Cassie turned to face them.

  Next to Dan sat the beautiful woman she’d noticed earlier. He took the lady’s hand before saying, “I am Dan Olson. This is my wife Elizabetta. Our children, Honey and Poppy, are the blonde girls you saw in the corridor – the ones who came in to speak with me.” Cassie noticed how Dan and his wife almost looked like opposites – he with thin fair hair and pale skin, while she had a long dark wavy mane and olive skin. They made quite a pair. Cassie took a wistful breath. How silly that she’d thought there might be an attraction.

  The old man on the other side of Dan spoke up. “Joe Olson.” He was the one who’d spoken after the girls came in to say they knew Cassie from The Ultimate Choice.

  “Freda Olson,” the woman at his side said, her arm hooked through his. That was the lady who’d defended her – or at least her right to live.

  “We’re Dan’s parents,” Joe said. “My wife and I set this refuge up thirty odd years ago. Started when our neighbours started to be persecuted by the authorities. We housed them here. Passed on a few years ago now, didn’t they.” He glanced at Freda who nodded. “When we suspected the secret police were on to us, we moved in as well. Raised Dan in these rooms, as he’s now raising his girls.” He stopped speaking and looked to Liam, who sat next to Freda.

  Liam ignored Cassie and said to Dan, “Do I have to do this?”

  “Yes,” Dan replied. “We need to make her welcome.”

  “You’re bloody kidding me. She’s the one, the one who caused all this.” Liam sat slouched in his chair, arms crossed and a brooding expression on his face.

  “Liam, put your emotions in check, and think of the greater good of the group.” This was not a request from Dan, it was an order. “Cassie is needed, and she will be welcomed by all of us.”

  Cassie wanted to disappear again. John stared almost unblinkingly at her, his hands clenched in white-knuckled fists on the table. Liam wouldn’t even look her in the eye – or even near her, for that matter. The women were softer, hints of apologetic smiles crossed a couple of their faces. If they allowed her to sleep here, would she have to keep an eye open for her own protection?

  There seemed to be a battle of wills going on between Liam and his leader. The pair locked eyes, Dan’s gaze remained unwavering and the younger man quickly looked away. “I’m Liam,” he said, still not making eye contact with her, as if he were speaking to the others at the table. “My friend sat here.” He patted the empty seat next to him. “Her name was Georgie, and she died in the greenhouse.” He suppressed a sob.

  A man with a close-cut hairstyle and a sad smile spoke next. “I’m Paul, and this is my wife Jenelle. We have teen girls – Hazel and Cherry.”

  “Hi.” The woman next to him raised a hand in greeting. She had black frizzy hair and squinted as if she needed glasses. Did illegals qualify for eye tests? The realisation of what she was being introduced into hit her. Did these people die early through lack of health care? Where did they bury their dead? She’d heard of funeral pyres. They made the news. The police made them out to be nuisance vandalism and sometimes suggested there may have been a murder. Maybe this group burned their dead in quiet alleys and let their ashes blow about on the wind. Better than being recycled into the food chain. And somehow more romantic.

  Next was John, the angry bull at the other end of the table. He gave Dan a sour look before speaking. “I’m John. This is my wife Lucy. Our daughter is Katherine. She’s taking care of Violet, the girl you orphaned tonight.” Cassie thought of the dark-eyed teen in the hall. How she talked of attacking her.

  Lucy glanced up at Cassie, wide-eyed. She gave a slight smile but didn’t speak. Next to her were two empty chairs. Cassie stared at them for a moment before the man on the other side of them spoke up.

  “Wotcha, I’m Dillon.” He had short dark hair. “This is my better half, Maddy. You might have seen our son out in the hall. Short kid.” He held up a hand to estimate his height. “He’s normally out in the hall trying to hit people with his scooter.” He gave a short laugh, but stopped as he looked over at Liam. “Sorry, mate. You know we’re all hurting.”

  Liam nodded, and wiped at a tear.

  Maddy had chestnut brown hair pulled back in a loose pony tail. She raised a hand in a gesture of hello, then grabbed onto Dillon’s arm.

  All faces turned to her again. Was she expected to speak? They knew who she was, where she came from. The sound of silence built. “Um, I’ve never been around so many people before. Except when I’m picking up my rations.” Cassie felt her stomach tighten. “I guess I won’t be doing that anymore.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I’ll try and remember all of your names, but I’ve never known so many people.”

  Liam coughed. Maddy shifted about in her seat. John crossed his arms across his chest and stared at her until she dropped her eyes.

  “Thank you for letting me stay. I know that decision couldn’t have been easy.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I am so sorry for causing you all pain.” Cassie glanced at Dan.

  Someone spoke up, “And don’t forget to introduce Violet.”

  It was Liam. He slammed a fist on the table. His eyes had gone bloodshot again, like he was trying very hard not to cry. His voice cracked as he said, “She’s the little girl Charlie and Hannah left behind.”

  Silence descended once more.

  “I have a bag full of food I can give you. And a map,” Cassie said. “There are some clothes in there, but I guess you don’t need them.” She paused then said, “And RatAway, there’s an almost full can left.
”

  Dan and Joe glanced at each other.

  “I hid the bag near the greenhouse. I don’t know how long it’ll go unnoticed.”

  Whispered words passed between father and son.

  Dan turned to her. “Well then, shall we go get your offerings?”

  “What – now?”

  Dan pushed his chair back and stood up. He nodded at her before leaning down to give his wife a kiss.

  “But, now, at night?”

  “Yes. Now.” Dan said, and led her out of the room.

  Chapter 14

  The sky was starting to lighten as Cassie led Dan through the side roads that approached the greenhouse. They were on their third attempt to find the fire escape where she’d hidden her bag. Cassie fought against a yawn. Why they couldn’t have waited until later, she couldn’t quite work out. The food must be very important to them. Had to be the nutrient bars, she thought. With so many children, so many mouths to feed and not even one ration book between them, no wonder. The glorious life of an illegal. This is what she was being welcomed into. A life of hunger, of wanting. Normal legal life was hard enough. She shook her head, as if trying to rid herself of her thoughts. Best to just work on each day as it comes.

  Back at the warehouse home, Cassie had tried to convince Dan to wait. Apparently he only travelled at night, and he was completely unwilling to risk her possessions another minute. Another thing she learned tonight was that you don’t argue with Dan, and you don’t change his mind. And if she was honest with herself, his persuasive argument was the only reason she’d have a safe place to sleep when the mission to find her bag was over.

  “Hey, that might be it,” Cassie said suddenly. She’d been scanning all the fire escapes – as both she and Dan had been for almost an hour.

  “Better bloody well be. If this isn’t the one, we’ll have to head back to the warehouse.” He glanced at his watch and then up at the sky. The first signs of dawn were on the horizon above the roofs of the buildings.