The Ultimate Choice

by Lisa C Hinsley

  Cassie nodded and crept up the stairs as quietly as she could, the metal rubbing and creaking under her weight. There was definitely a shape in the corner, tucked in right behind the door as she’d left it. She glanced about to make sure she wasn’t being watched from any windows. Dan had not followed her up. He was concealed in the shadows across the way. He’d done this the other two times – apparently she was expendable. Even on the way here, he’d kept a few yards behind to the point that she thought she’d lost him a few times. Or been abandoned. “I’ll leave you if you’re caught. The police will never know I was with you,” he’d said a few times, as if she needed to be told twice. “I bear you no allegiance,” his words echoed through her head. He’d used his position as leader to let her join his family, but apparently that didn’t mean he felt any loyalty to her, or even seemed to like her. He was aloof, saying almost nothing else as they searched for her bag.

  “I’ve got it,” Cassie whispered to the shadows as she descended to ground level.

  Dan appeared like a magic trick from a slight gap in the wall. He grabbed the bag from her and quickly checked the contents. After a moment, he found the thing he’d been searching for. One of his elusive smiles lit his face for a brief second. Then he refastened the buckles and slung her bag onto his back.

  “Come on then.” He indicated she follow, and took off down the road in a near silent jog.

  Cassie struggled to keep up. Her own footfalls seemed so loud they seemed echo off the walls. Who would be awake to hear them in this early dawn? Surely someone might be. What if they heard her and raised the alarm? Anyone out before curfew was sure to be an illegal, and didn’t they reward citizens for information like that?

  Dan disappeared around the corner. She sped up and rounded the edge of the building.

  But he wasn’t there. The street was empty.

  A light blinked on in a flat further down the street and her heart skipped a beat. An early morning riser as she’d feared. Were they getting ready for their day’s work? A wave of jealousy came over her, even in her panic at losing Dan. That person up there was safe and fed, with a ration book and fresh clothes in their possession. Work to do… a purpose. Was that what she’d given up? To produce a child she’d never know, to live as an illegal? Of course Dan had left her. There was obviously something in her bag he’d wanted. Most likely it was the map. He probably thought she’d not noticed the light in his eyes that appeared when she mentioned Elijah had given her a map. But she’d worked it out too late and lost everything. She kicked at the dust and wandered slowly down the street. Alone again. Maybe she should turn herself in. Now she had no food, the greenhouse was probably locked up tighter than ever, and she didn’t have the map to find a different one.

  Cassie searched the shadows for movement. Maybe he hadn’t meant to abandon her. He was simply dipping in and out of doorways and unintentionally leaving her behind. Maybe Dan thought she was following him and hadn’t yet looked back to make sure she was there. He was used to his group, they had to be as good on the street as he was, as silent and covert in their movements. Maybe he’d not realised she wasn’t as able. A wry smile crossed her lips, only to fade away an instant later. Kid yourself all you want, she thought. He’s simply gone.

  Cassie stopped and tried to picture the route they’d come in her mind. They’d gone up and down the streets near the greenhouse looking for her fire escape. And she was sure he’d purposefully led her in a roundabout route after they left the warehouse. She should have realised back when she found her bag and made sure she was the one to carry it. Then he would have been forced to take her back.

  Was that a footstep? Cassie forgot about imagining her route to safety and listened. There was definitely someone walking nearby. Couldn’t be Dan, so far as she knew, he walked silently. He was like a ghost. Instinctively, she backed away towards the shadows. The walker was maybe a street away – around the corner at the end of the block and still out of sight, but the sounds were getting louder. The rhythm of the steps was odd. Cassie frowned and concentrated on the pacing. Then she realised with a gasp she couldn’t conceal – there were two people walking, and that meant only one thing. It was the police doing their night runs, searching for illegals with their euthanasia packs and needles at the ready. Shit.

  Cassie secreted herself into the shadowy doorway, slowly pressing deeper and deeper inside the recess. She didn’t dare risk a single sound, the footfalls were so close. The policemen had to be on her street now. If she dared to peek out, would they see her? She took another step back. A door was solid against her back, there was nowhere else to go. The sky had gone that pretty purple-blue colour that she’d never seen before this week, safe in her flat, always asleep at this hour. But as the sky gradually brightened, the shadow she’d secreted herself into dulled. They might see her as they walked by. That was their job, they were paid to search the shadows. If she shuffled left, the shadow was deeper.

  Slowly, silently, as the police stepped ever closer, Cassie moved. Something soft was there, something that gave a little as she pressed up against it. Confused for a moment, she reached out to feel whatever was there. Out of the dark, a hand snatched at hers and another clamped over her mouth.

  Someone had her. Cassie swallowed any shout she had in her as the policemen strolled into view.

  “Looking forward to some sleep?” one of them asked.

  Somebody had her trapped. The hand on her mouth had a musky scent – a man had her.

  “Oh yes. Tiring work tonight, I’m beat. And didn’t that third one struggle a bit? We need to practice in the gym some more. Need to hone our wrestling techniques.” He let out a sharp laugh. “Think we’ll get a reward for tonight’s work?”

  How did she keep getting captured? What if it was someone worse than Elijah? Then surely death by the police would be better. She tried to pull away from the man, but he held on tight.

  “Hope so, not often a couple of lowly bobbies on the beat get three illegals in one night.”

  They were almost gone, oblivious to Cassie. If she made a sound, something loud enough for them to hear, her struggle to live in this cruel world would be over – she raised a foot to stamp. But then out of nowhere a picture of Jack flashed before her eyes. She couldn’t do it. Death was not an option. Instead she braced herself for release. The man would have to let go eventually, and the sounds of the police were getting further and further away. The hand on her mouth tightened, as if reading Cassie’s mind.

  Long seconds passed as the policemen’s idle chatter faded and early morning silence resumed.

  Suddenly the hand released. Cassie spun around and jumped back. She squinted into the dark.

  “Dan?” she almost yelled it out. Somehow she retained enough sense not to. Then, “I thought you abandoned me.” She spoke in almost a whine. “I was all alone…”

  “Of course I wasn’t going to leave you,” he snapped, but the lie was obvious in his eyes. “I heard the coppers first, and hid. Waited for you to come along so I could grab you. Lucky you backed into the same place I did.”

  A fleeting expression of confusion crossed his face – as if he was trying to work out how she kept finding him. Cassie was certainly wondering the very same thing, but didn’t reply. He hadn’t grabbed her. She happened upon him. He’d been protecting himself against discovery.

  “I owe you twice now,” she said. But her words held no conviction. Was this a play, a pretend scene? He doesn’t want me and he knows I can see the truth, she thought.

  “No owing,” he said. Dan peered out of the shadows and checked on where the police were. “Just help me if I ever ask it.”

  Surely that amounted to the same thing? Cassie wondered what he’d just signed her up for, but didn’t have time to go any further with her thoughts. Dan was off, down the street and racing home. The sky was streaked with blood-red clouds, and soon the two of them would look less than shadows on the street, and more like the illegals they were. She took off af
ter him, determined not to be left behind again.

  Chapter 15

  Back at the warehouse, Cassie watched as Dan retrieved the map, discarding her bag with all the food and RatAway on the floor. He really did just want the map all along. Somehow her righteousness didn’t feel like a victory. Dan unfolded the map and laid it on the table, head down already as he started studying it. Joe came in at a trot, apparently he’d heard they were back. The old man wiped the sleep from his eyes and he took up a position next to his son. Elizabetta walked in seconds later, with a grace Cassie could see made everyone love her just a little bit more than the others. She sat down next to where her husband stood.

  “Is it the one?” Joe asked. He was excited. Cassie could see it in the way he tried to read the entire map at once, his eyes wide and probably not understanding a thing at first glance.

  Dan was not so excited. “How would I know already,” he snapped. “Let me read the bloody thing.”

  The men fell silent, hunched over the table as Cassie stood ignored. Exhaustion was catching up on her. Worried she might collapse, she took a seat at the other end of the table.

  “We’re here,” Dan muttered and put a finger at the edge of the map. Cassie could see the marks Elijah had made to help her find the greenhouse. Apparently the warehouse they were in was at the eastern edge of the map. “My insider told me they were on Queens Road.” His finger hovered above the paper, following roads as he searched for the location. “Must be down here in this locale…” Dan leaned closer.

  “Might be this isn’t the right map, son.”

  “Not possible. None of the others show this area.” He pointed to the south side of the map. “It has to be here.”

  Joe glanced at his son, and then back down at the map.

  “Elizabetta, go get my notebook,” Dan ordered.

  His wife left silently, retuning quickly, an old tatty book in her hand.

  Dan grabbed it without word and started flipping through. “Look around Chaldon. It’s somewhere close by.”

  The map was moved as they centred in on an area.

  “Look, it’s here!” Joe exclaimed.

  “Where?” Dan followed his father’s finger. “I’ll be damned. That bastard was telling the truth.” He scratched at his beard. “What do you reckon, a day’s walk?”

  “I dunno. Could be less.”

  Dan glanced out the window. “Day’s breaking. We should all get some sleep. Get the others in here first. I want to brief them about who’s going. I want to set out tonight, as soon as night has fallen.”

  “Come help me, Betta,” Joe said. She nodded and rose from her chair. The two of them left.

  The curiosity was too much for her. She dared to speak. “Dan?” Cassie asked. “What were you looking for?”

  He ignored her and traced the distance with a pencil and ruler he’d taken from a drawer under the table. He muttered about distances and times.

  Cassie took a deep breath, despite his taking her in, his rude way of dealing with her was getting too much. “Where is it you’re going?” She tried again. She’d provided the map. It was hers. Surely she deserved to know what was going to happen.

  “It’s a government laboratory,” he said after a moments quiet. “We’ve been searching for months to locate this place.”

  “Well, I’m glad to have helped.” Despite everything, a feeling of pleasure – of pride flooded her. She’d done something good. Maybe this was the start of her acceptance into the group. The other adults were beginning to filter into the meeting room. John and Lucy came first, John pausing to stare pointedly at her, like she was dirt. Cassie had to remind herself that their friends only died a few hours earlier. This night seemed to be going on forever.

  It didn’t take long for the rest of them to arrive. They sat around the table rearranging their seating to leave the chairs either side of Cassie empty.

  “Dillon and John you will coming with me on the mission to the laboratory. Paul, as second in command, you stay behind here. Liam you can choose whether to go or not. Given how the deaths have affected you, I won’t think any less of you if your choice is to stay behind.”

  “No way, mate. I’ll be there.” It seemed some rest had helped him calm down. He sat up straight and even glanced her way. “Couldn’t keep me away.”

  “That’s the spirit.” Dan had his hands on his hips as he gazed around the room at each of them in turn. “I want the three of you to sleep until noon. Then we’ll do our practice drills until it’s time to leave. I do not want a single thing to go wrong. We only have one chance to get this right. Only one. And you must all understand, if anything goes wrong, anyone inside – including me – will be left behind. We can not risk this thing escaping into the wider population.”

  Cassie listened, trying to figure out what was at the laboratory that was so important it warranted breaking in. Maybe it was an experiment. She’d heard whispers of tests on humans, unpleasant ones. Rumour was the government were trying to breed a new species of humanoid, one that required less food. Were they going to try and put an end to something like that?

  “Right, I want John, Dillon and Liam to take to their beds. Wives, keep the children away from the sleeping rooms, keep them quiet.”

  The meeting broke up, the adults quickly leaving until Cassie was alone with Dan and Elizabetta.

  “Shall I take her to Hannah and Charlie’s room? I made the bed up for her while you were gone,” Elizabetta asked her husband.

  “No. I’ll take her. See if you can get some more sleep before the girls wake.”

  She nodded and left without a word.

  “Come on,” Dan said and followed after his wife.

  “Should I be sleeping in that room – they only just died…” words failed her.

  Dan whipped around. “Well that would be your fault, wouldn’t it? And where do you suggest you sleep? In Liam’s room, lie in the second bed, where his now dead friend slept only last night?”

  Cassie shook her head.

  “Well then. Beggars can’t be choosey.” He turned around and took her to the end of the hall. He opened a door and showed her in. “We wouldn’t have found the map without you,” he said, suddenly friendly again.

  Cassie tried to smile. “I’m glad to have helped,” she muttered. Little things seemed to set him off, best not say much, she thought.

  “Tomorrow you can carry your provisions.”

  She hadn’t heard right. They wouldn’t need her. She’d be better off staying with the wives, helping entertain the children.

  But he continued, “You can hand them out during the journey.”

  “Me? You need me? Surely you mean you just need the pack and the food, right?”

  Dan’s eyes narrowed. “You owe me twice. I’m sheltering you. And I say you come to the laboratory. I say you do as you are told.”

  “I’m too slow. I’ll just slow you down.” She grabbed at his sleeve. “Please, I can do whatever you need me to around here.”

  “You do as you are ordered, and your orders are to accompany me to the government laboratory. Redeem yourself along the way, maybe.”

  Was that a smirk, did Dan just smirk? Cassie felt panic rise. Something was wrong here. She didn’t know what, but she had to do whatever she could to try and stay at the warehouse.

  “And if you can’t keep up, you will be left behind.” With that Dan left her alone in the bedroom.

  Jesus, him and his ‘you’ll be left behind’ threats. Cassie was sick of them. If that was the way he wanted to play, then she’d make damn sure she fell behind the moment they left the warehouse. There could only be so many places to hide the lever. She’d find the trigger, get the secret door to open, and go back. Dan probably wouldn’t even miss her. Although the shock on his face when he returned from the mission, well, she’d deal with that if and when it happened. Later, when she was woken, she’d turn on the sympathy and try to stay in a more honest manner.

  Cassie’s mind wouldn’
t stop. She kept picturing her search for the secret door, of so many levers hidden behind the clothes on the racks, and that each took her to a different opening. All the ways were dark, all foreboding, and none of them she wanted to enter.

  Sleep didn’t come easily, least of all because she was lying in a dead couple’s bed. She rubbed her feet for a while, thankful they’d healed almost completely. Her thoughts wandered, when had she last slept – a small sleep after the rats attacked? A short doze as she hid in the shower at Elijah’s? How could so much have happened? She wished for her quiet life to come back. Eventually, despite all the worrying, her body took over and she fell into a dreamless slumber.

  Someone pushed on her shoulder. Cassie groaned and rolled away from the hand.

  “Cassie,” a woman said. Who was in her bedroom? Suddenly it all flooded back, the last few days. She wasn’t at her home. Everything had changed. She opened her eyes to find Elizabetta perched on the edge of the bed.

  “What time is it?” Cassie stifled a yawn.

  “It’s nearly six. We’re about to serve dinner.”

  “Six, really?” Cassie sat up at this news. “But I thought Dan wanted me to go on the mission to the laboratory? Shouldn’t I have been doing practice drills – I haven’t a clue what I should be doing.” Maybe… Cassie’s eyes widened. “Did he decide not to take me?”

  “Sorry, you’re still going. And I wouldn’t worry about the drills you missed. Dan just wants you to be a lookout. He knew you were tired, and thought the sleep would be better for you.” But Elizabetta avoided eye contact with Cassie. She stood up and walked to the door, her head down a little as if she were sad. “I’d hurry if I were you. The children tend to eat anything the adults don’t.”

  “Thank you,” Cassie said and swung her legs out of bed. What if she didn’t show up, if she stayed here in this room, and missed the time to go with them? The bad feeling she’d had when Dan told her she was coming was back and stronger than before. Her brain kicked into gear, she needed to do everything she could to stay.