Never Say Never

by Tina Leonard

  “I’m sure.” In fact, she’d never been more certain in her life that what she was doing was the right thing. Spending Christmas Eve with the Reeds might give them a little something to be a bit happier about. Nobody wanted to be lonely at Christmas. No matter how much Dustin and his mother loved each other, Jill had an unsettling vision of the two of them sitting in a church pew during Christmas Eve service with nothing to look forward to. Nothing to brighten up their holidays with.

  “There is something I’ve been wanting to ask you about, Dustin,” Jill began hesitantly. The lack of Christmas decorations in the Reed household had been an astonishing contrast to her parents’ home, which had clearly revealed how Dustin felt about the holidays. It seemed that, for the most part, he preferred to ignore it. But for Joey’s sake, Jill was hoping Dustin wouldn’t mind a bit of a change.

  “Go ahead. Ask,” he replied.

  Jill drew a deep breath. “What would you think about a Christmas tree in the parlor? Just a very small, tabletop tree, that Joey could decorate with tiny ornaments?”

  She had Dustin’s full attention. “Christmas tree?” he repeated. Obviously, the idea had not occurred to him.

  “Well, yes.” Hesitating for a second, Jill plunged right back in. “I could put it up and then on Christmas Eve there would be a place to put the presents to Joey from Santa. Christmas seems to be the only thing he’s excited about, and a tree would…”

  She paused, thinking about how pushy her words sounded. If Dustin didn’t want decorations scattered around, it wasn’t any of her business. She couldn’t blame him for not wanting to celebrate a season that wouldn’t include his wife. Her gaze fell and she wished she could take her words back.

  Dustin stared at her. After a moment he laid down the cake knife, obviously deep in thought. Clearing his throat, he finally said, “If you want to put up a Christmas tree, go ahead. I’m sure you’ll understand that my enthusiasm is about nil for the holidays, but I’m not such a jerk that I can’t see how excited Joey is about Christmas.”

  Jill reached out to put a tentative hand on Dustin’s forearm. Once again, warmth spread through her, but she forced away the thought that she might be attracted to Dustin. She simply wasn’t ready for it—nor for the possibility of rejection. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”

  They stood there like that for a minute, her hand on him and Dustin gazing into her eyes. He seemed to be thinking about something other than her question as he looked down at her.

  Then he said, “If I minded, I would have said so.” The moment broken, Jill turned away, feeling a bit shaky. “Great,” she murmured. He didn’t reply, so Jill slowly turned her back and walked away from where he was standing to poke her head out into the hall. “Eunice! Joey! Time for cake!”

  Joey’s whoop was audible in the kitchen. Jill turned back to the table, only to find Dustin standing still, staring at her intently. The child came speeding into the kitchen, launching himself into his place at the table and only barely remembering to wait until everyone could be seated before he dug into the dessert. Dustin’s gaze roved from Jill to Joey, where it lingered just a moment, then he sat down next to the child.

  Jill seated herself next to Eunice and picked up a fork to eat, wondering what she’d said to put that enigmatic expression on the handsome rancher’s face. And did it bode bad or good for her?

  Jill was pleased with the Christmas tree she’d purchased late last night. After she’d put Joey to bed and made certain Holly had her last bottle, she asked Eunice’s permission to run into town to shop. Joey had been thrilled to discover the tree, which Jill had placed on the coffee table in the parlor, just where his little hands could reach to place the tiny ornaments she’d bought. The tree itself was green and a bit shaggy with its plastic branches, but at about eighteen inches tall, just right for a child.

  Now he was carefully pulling the cheap silver and gold plastic balls from their box, and laboriously placing hangers on them. Jill smiled, and realizing the boy would be busy for a while, decided to go upstairs and check on Holly.

  The baby was just starting to stir. Jill picked her up, wrapping her pink blanket tightly around the infant as she held her to her breast for warmth. Holly smacked her tiny Cupid’s-bow-shaped lips and seemed to think about opening her eyes before apparently deciding that she was comfortable laying her head on Jill for the moment.

  “Sweet baby,” Jill murmured. “Are you going to give me enough time to warm your bottle before you start yelling this time? I’ll feed you in the parlor and you can watch Joey decorate our tree. It’s going to be beautiful, though you might not mention that to Mr. Dustin since he doesn’t seem to think too highly of them right now.”

  Holly stayed quiet as Jill walked down the stairs with her. Quickly peeping in to see that Joey was still industriously inserting hangers in the ornaments, she went on to the kitchen and pulled a pan out to fill with water. Through the window, she could see Dustin walking along the fence where the cattle were.

  Dustin’s tall physique moved with laconic grace as he walked toward the house, studying his cattle. It was cold outside, as Texas was having one of its coldest winters in recent times, but Dustin’s only concession to the weather was a pair of leather work gloves and a tan coat with a lamb’s wool collar. The ice had melted, but Jill couldn’t help thinking she was much happier to be inside where it was warm.

  Holly began squirming and Jill tore her gaze away from where Dustin had gone. “Ready, now, are you?”

  The baby opened her mouth for a pitiful yell. Jill chuckled and pulled the bottle out to test on her arm. Deciding it was fine, she stepped across the hall, talking to the baby as she walked into the parlor. “Can’t you do better than that? Mr. Dustin makes more noise about his supper than you do.”

  It was the truth, but Jill said it teasingly before she realized both Dustin and Eunice were standing outside of the parlor, staring at her.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d come in,” Jill hurried to say. Holly let out an earnest shriek for her meal. Dustin’s eyes were dark and deep as he looked at Jill without saying a word. Embarrassed, she quickly sat across from where Joey was working and put the bottle to the baby’s lips. Holly quieted instantly, but Jill’s insides were chaotic. Whatever had possessed her to say such a thing, innocent though it might have been?

  “It’s pretty, isn’t it, Jill?” Joey asked, pointing to the tree.

  “You’re doing a great job,” she replied. Joey had carefully hung all the ornaments, though the silver balls were all together on one side and the gold were bunched together on the other side of the tree. Pride in his accomplishment glowed from Joey’s face and Jill smiled at him, trying not to let her worry show. Her ears were trained in Dustin’s direction, but he and Eunice were speaking so softly she couldn’t tell if they were just exchanging good mornings or whether he was concerned about something. Jill could only hope her off-the-cuff comment to baby Holly wasn’t going to stir up any discomfort between them. They’d only just gotten to the point where Jill was starting to think they might marginally relax around each other.

  “Joey,” she said quietly, “if you open that brown paper bag that’s sitting beside the box the tree came in, you’ll find a bunch of tiny candy canes. You can take them out of the wrapping and hang those next.”

  “Oh, boy!” he said, scurrying to locate the bag. Jill snuggled Holly more securely into her arms, telling herself not to worry. The baby seemed to like this adjustment, so Jill leaned back against the antique, curved-back sofa, forcing herself to quit trying to eavesdrop and pay attention to the bonding moment between her and Joey.

  But she had no sooner allowed the tension to flow out than Dustin seated himself next to her. Instantly, she tried to sit up straight, but he shook his head.

  “At ease.” His voice was gruff.

  Jill lowered her lashes to stare at the floral-patterned carpet. The man wasn’t so obtuse that he didn’t notice how uncomfortable she was. A litt
le warmth stole inside her stomach as she wondered what he was going to say to her.

  But he seemed content to watch Joey slowly unwrap each candy cane, then situate it on a plastic tree bough. “Are you having fun, Joey?” he asked.

  “Yep,” the child answered, too engrossed in his work to pay attention to his father.

  Dustin shot him a wry look, then glanced over at the baby. Holly still held the nipple in her mouth, but it was more of a lazy, relaxed pulling than a frantic suckling to fill her stomach. Jill looked up to find Dustin’s gaze on her now, and a strange feeling shot through her.

  “I hope you didn’t mind my joke,” she said softly.

  “Hm. I’m not sure if I did.”

  Jill didn’t know what to make of this. She couldn’t decide if she was on the hot seat or not. “I was just making conversation with the baby. I wasn’t serious when I said…”

  “That I make a lot of noise about my supper?”

  She wished the sofa could fly and whisk her away from this awkward moment. “I don’t want you to think I mind fixing your meals, Dustin. It was just a comment to Holly that I thought a little more enthusiasm was needed when demanding her supper.”

  For a moment, she thought he might smile. But he didn’t, and after a second, he stood. Jill swallowed as he stared down at her.

  “I’ve got some things to finish up, but around three o’clock I’ll be back to get Joey.”

  Jill was so surprised she sat up, accidentally dislodging Holly from her bottle. Startled, this time the infant did let out an enraged cry.

  “What are you two going to do?” Jill asked over the din.

  Dustin glanced down at Joey, who was now looking up at him, his mouth open.

  “It’s time he and I had a man-to-man talk about women and their ways,” Dustin said.

  Chapter Six

  “Oh, don’t let Dustin annoy you,” Eunice said as she shuffled over to take the seat he’d vacated beside Jill. Having been standing in the doorway, she’d heard her son’s parting shot to Jill. “He’s picking on you.”

  Relief filled Jill. “I’m glad you think so.”

  “I know so.” Eunice frowned for a second, the porcelain skin on her forehead furrowing a bit. “Although I’ve never seen him act this way around anyone before.”

  “Lovely.”

  Eunice looked at her. “It is rather strange, isn’t it? I mean, Dustin is a quiet person, but you seem to bring out a new side of him.”

  She wouldn’t know about a new side. It was hard enough to be comfortable with any of Dustin’s sides. Yet she thought she understood what Eunice was trying to say: that in Dustin’s own awkward way, he was trying to make her feel at home. Sort of like a sister, maybe.

  The sudden thought occurred to her that perhaps that wasn’t the way she wanted Dustin to view her at all. He had said once that he found her attractive—more attractive than he seemed comfortable with. Was he attracted to her as well?

  Or was that wishful thinking on her part? The man was so clearly still mourning his wife that the idea didn’t seem likely.

  Joey had finished with the candy canes and was now searching the paper bag for more decorations. He pulled out a tiny angel, his face joyous. “Oh, I like her.”

  “She goes on the top,” Jill instructed.

  Lifting Holly to her shoulder, Jill watched as the boy put the angel on the top. Actually, the little tree had a lot of life now that it was completely decorated. She smiled at him, enjoying his delight with the whole process. “That’s the prettiest tree I’ve ever seen, Joey.”

  He loved hearing that, Jill could tell. With one finger, he gently caressed the angel’s yellow-string hair. “Me, too.”

  Holly let out a bubble of air, so Jill shifted her. “Here. Let me have her now,” Eunice said, already reaching for the infant.

  Jill let her have the baby, then knelt to gingerly pick up Joey’s handiwork. Placing the tree on an antique table sitting between two velvet-covered chairs, she stood back to observe it for a moment. “All we need now is a tree skirt.”

  “Can we make one, Jill? Can we, can we?”

  She smiled. “Maybe.”

  “I just happen to have a small piece of red felt we could cut into a circle,” Eunice offered. “There are also sequins upstairs in my sewing cupboard if that would help.”

  “It would help us, wouldn’t it, Joey?” Jill turned to give the elderly woman an appreciative smile.

  “I can’t help but think your parents are going to be proud of everything you’re doing around here. I know we certainly appreciate all your hard work, Jill. You’ve lifted all our spirits.”

  Jill had forgotten about her parents’ impending visit. Now that she remembered about it, her little plastic Christmas tree seemed a bit forlorn to her. But she smiled for Eunice’s benefit.

  “Well, then, Holly,” Eunice said, “how about you and I go up to peruse the cupboard? I promise you’ll find more bits and pieces of things babies shouldn’t put in their mouths, but just so you’ll be in the holiday spirit, too, I think there’s some nice green satin ribbon we could make into a headband for you.”

  Eunice left the parlor, with Jill keeping a close eye on her. The arthritis didn’t seem to be plaguing her, but the stairs always worried Jill. She wondered if it pained Eunice to walk up and down them. But since the day Jill had arrived, Eunice hadn’t murmured a single complaint about her health.

  Jill ruffled Joey’s corn-silk hair, drawing a murmured complaint from him. She wondered what Dustin really had planned for Joey this afternoon. He’d been so quiet it was hard to tell.

  Yet there was some comfort in knowing that the reserved man seemed to be starting to enjoy his son.

  It had come as a surprise to her that the two of them seemed to lack a loving bond. Jill hated to see that their relationship was so stiff and formal. She knew not every man enjoyed having kids, but Joey was so much fun, when she could get him to loosen up. He’d loved making snow angels, and he’d loved decorating her substitute for a real Christmas tree. Perhaps Dustin was starting to realize what he was missing out on with his son.

  Jill considered Eunice’s words about Dustin’s odd behavior. Maybe she had made some changes around the ranch—whether he was ready for it or not;

  “How long will you be gone?”

  Dustin shot Jill a mischievous grin. There was anxiety laced all through her question. “I’ll be home for dinner, six o’clock sharp,” he said, unable to resist the reference to “the noise he made about his supper”.

  Jill folded her arms. “I assume you would tell me if Joey wasn’t properly dressed for this excursion.”

  “I would.”

  She gave an irritated sigh, then bent down to rub Joey’s hair and put a swift kiss on his cheek. Dustin thought about asking if he got one, too, realizing instantly his thoughts were going way out of bounds. He decided he should only bait the poor woman so much.

  Jill stepped away, eyeing Dustin. “I’ll be expecting Joey back in the same clean condition and good health that he’s in now.”

  Dustin ran a finger along his hat in a mock salute. “Yes, ma’am. Come on, Joey, we’ve got some important work to do.”

  The child ran out to the truck, waiting for him to open the door. Dustin turned to make one last remark to Jill. “Mother knows where we are, if you need anything,” he said before walking out the door.

  “That’s not playing fair, is it?”

  “Life’s tough,” he said with a shrug, before walking out onto the porch. He chuckled, plainly able to hear the heels of Jill’s boots as she hurried up the stairs.

  Thing was, Eunice wouldn’t give Dustin’s secret away for anything. Jill would just have to wait until Dustin was ready for her to know it.

  He had a feeling she was going to like his surprise just as much as Joey.

  Two hours later, Dustin walked into the house, waving Joey over to the parlor fireplace to wait. The child had pine needles sticking out of his hair and dir
t smudges on his elfin face, beside the huge grin he was wearing. So much for the clean condition Jill had requested, but it couldn’t be helped. Dustin pressed one finger against his lips for silence, and Joey nodded his understanding. The two of them had worked out a game plan.

  Quietly, Dustin checked the kitchen, but Jill wasn’t around. Hearing some soft singing coming from the direction of the laundry room, he walked in there. To his amazement, it looked like Jill was dusting the corners of the ceiling. She’d wrapped an old towel or something around a broom handle and was running the contraption along the tops of the walls. On top of the dryer, baby Holly lay in her basket watching Jill, comfortably soothed by the warm humming of the machine and Jill’s singing.

  Both the previous housekeepers—and his wife—had complained about the isolation of the ranch, and that there was little to do to relieve their boredom. Dustin folded his arms as he watched the woman carefully moving the padded stick along the wall edges. Jill seemed to have no trouble at all keeping herself entertained, even if it was dusting the walls.

  More than that, she was keeping him entertained as well.

  “H-h-hm,” Dustin said, clearing his throat loudly.

  Jill jumped. “You’re back! Where’s Joey?” she asked.

  Dustin laughed and went over to offer Holly his finger to hold. “I left him out in the woods. It’s beneficial for a young boy to learn how to fend for himself.”

  “You…” Jill paused at the serious expression on Dustin’s face. “No, you didn’t. Where is he?”

  “In the parlor, getting warm in front of the fireplace.”

  “Oh.” Jill pulled off her rubber gloves, laying them next to the washroom sink. “I want to hear all about his adventure.”

  She reached to pick up Holly’s basket, but Dustin wrapped his hand around the straw handle. “I’ll get her. You do whatever you need to with that giant cotton swab of yours.”

  “Thanks.” Quickly, she pulled the towel off and tossed it into the washer before setting the broom handle against the wall. “Okay. I’m ready. I hope Joey enjoyed his outing,” she said, following Dustin as he walked.