Asher just laughs and pushes Mason's chest. Mason pushes back. “And you think if you sniff around her long enough, being her friend, she will be stupid enough to fall for you?” Asher yells back at him.
For the first time, I glance at the girl. Who is she? Why is she here with him? Looking at her appearance boggles my mind; she is everything I am not. Tall, blonde, wide-eyed, and innocent. Either he’s lying to himself when he’s with her or when he’s with me. He can’t like us both. That familiar feeling of betrayal I locked up so tight claws its way to the surface. He was with me last night and today here he is, with another girl, another freaking girl.
“I'm not like you, Blaze. I actually care about her, and she kissed me back!” I shoot Mason a warning glare for throwing me under the bus just as Asher's fist lands with a crack into his nose. Mason bends over groaning, holding his face, blood pouring down his bare chest.
I can't take it anymore. “STOP!” I scream, stepping in front of Ash. “Look at me, Asher. What are you doing here with her? I thought you'd still be in bed.” The girl lets out a small giggle at that. Seeing red. I walk up to her. Grabbing her by the hair, pull her head back and land a punch that splits her lip. Then I drag her, Screaming, blood is dripping down onto the white tile floor, and I stop in front of Asher. Fury blinding me, “Who the hell is she?” I toss the skank down at his feet. She scurries away from me, screaming, and runs out the door.
Asher counters with, “What the hell were you doing with him?” pointing to Mason who is now leaning against the lockers with a towel pressed to his bloody nose.
“I told you I was going to be training with him today.”
Still on edge, Ash throws his arms in the air. “So, this is what you do when you tell me you’re ‘training’? I guess you haven’t changed that much, have you..”
I slap his face as hard as I can, and before I get a chance to enjoy the feeling, his backhand strikes across my cheek. I stumble back against the lockers.
“I should have known you would throw yourself at him.”
Mason lunges forward, I reach for him, but he pulls his arm out of my grasp, stepping back in Asher’s face. “Never lay your hands on her again or I will end you,” he spits the words in Asher’s face then turns to me. “This is insane, Nyx. Leave him,” he pleads with me, holding his hand out to me.
I shake my head. “He’s all I have, Mase,” I admit quietly.
“Wrong again, beautiful,” he says, shaking his head and walks out of the locker room without another word, leaving us to our drama. I don’t blame him. We are the definition of dysfunctional and everyone knows it.
Asher and I stand frozen, glaring at one another. “What the fuck, Ash?” I demand, pushing him in the chest with every ounce of hate I have in me. “We are right back here, again! You banging some skank, don’t you have any shame?”
His gaze softens and he approaches me with is hands up in surrender. “Trust me, Nyx, she is nothing to me, nothing, just some girl I ran into while I was looking for you, and I couldn’t shake her. You kissed him?” His eyes looked wounded.
“He kissed me! It's Mason for Christ’s sake. He’s my friend.”
The betrayal has clawed its way to the surface and I erupt. “And don't you turn this back on me, Asher. You know I wasn't supposed to be back for hours. Did you bang her too or did she just suck your cock? I'm sorry I missed the show... this time,” I seethe through clenched teeth.
“Babe, I have apologized a hundred times for that. She is no one. You are the only girl who means anything to me,” he pleads gently, reaching out to touch me.
I slap his hand away, livid. “SHUT UP! I don't want to hear more lies; everything you say to me is a lie. I am done.” I storm passed him to leave.
He grabs my arm, his fingers digging into my skin, burning. “Don’t you walk out on me; don't you ever walk out on me.”
I throw his hands off me, shoving him in the chest with all the fury I can muster. Flames shoot out of my hands at him, but he barely notices. I want him to feel pain.
“I’m so tired of listening to you. You make me sick,” I fume, turning away from him.
Walking in front of me, he brushes a curl out of my face and hooks it around my ear, his touch gentle. “If I could ever love anyone, it would be you, Nyx. You are everything to me. I'm just stressed out with this being our last year. Trust me, she meant nothing.”
His voice is so soothing. I let the anger in me dissolve like a snowflake in my palm. Maybe she was just a girl he ran into. Girls are always following him around, and I shouldn't have let Mason kiss me. My resolve falters, because I am weak and lonely. I know what it feels like to be alone in this world. So, I let him take me in his arms, whispering empty promises and meaningless sweetness that I don’t let myself believe.
Everything about Asher and I is chaos, control, and passion. Burning too hot, too fast, like we know it will never last; something this explosive will destroy us both. We are too broken to fix the other. I’m not stupid. I know this isn’t love. Whatever Asher and I have is a lot of things, but never love.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Between training, classes, and trying to watch my cheating man-whore of a boyfriend like a hawk, I am barely hanging on. I haven't slept in weeks. I have caught him three more times. Waking up every day with a pit of dread, I know I should walk away from him. He isn’t good for me, but who am I to judge. There’s no way I would throw away Asher just because he’s broken. I’ve been thrown away for the same reason, and I could never do that to someone.
Now watching him across the Dining Hall I want to punch his face, as a girl leans into him, whispering something in his ear, he laughs too loud, stares at her too long, and smiles too wide, it all makes my stomach turn.
Halfway through the year I pathetically keep hoping to catch a glimpse of Silas, but he isn’t coming back. He couldn’t handle my drama. Who am I kidding? I can't handle my own drama.
I’m falling apart again, the cracks are forming, and I don’t care. Opening my arms wide I free fall into rock bottom, embracing it. The only good thing I had in my life was tossed aside for my first love, but love was an illusion. My feelings for Asher were never as pure as I remembered, never saw him clearly until it was too late.
Unable to stomach and more of the scene in the dining hall I head to the bathroom, the moment the door closes behind me I swallow as much vodka as it takes to silence the thoughts shouting what a pathetic mess I am. This should be my new morning routine, not as healthy as running, but it will get me through the day. I catch my reflection in the mirror. Mascara is smeared, my hair a mess of red curls. Did I shower today? Is this really my life?
“You're pathetic,” cursing myself, staring at my reflection until all I can see are my bloodshot, bleary eyes. The second a tear escapes, I hurl the bottle at the weak girl staring back at me, and then I collapse on the filthy floor.
Ianna walks in, finding me in all my pathetic glory. “Seriously! You are drunk? Its ten o'clock in the morning.” She comes over, stands me up, fussing over me.
“Drunk,” I confirm, nodding my head, “but not drunk enough to forget…not drunk enough to remember... never drunk enough to fix anything.” I babble, wiping frantically at my tears.
“Well, getting drunk isn't fixing anything. Get yourself together. When was the last time you saw Dr. Grey?”
“Screw that!” pushing her hands away before realizing she is the only thing holding me up. I stumble into the wall. “I don't need her to tell me I'm a lost cause. I see it every time I look in the mirror! ‘Everything has consequences, Phoenyx,’” I mock. “More like karma. A murderer’s life isn’t supposed to be good… burn in hell and all that. Cheers,” taking out another small bottle hidden in my bag and take a swig.
“Oh, my god, Nyx!” she shrieks, snatching the bottle out of my hands. “This is your life! If you don't like it, CHANGE IT! You don't like watching Asher mess around with other girls? Leave him, walk away. You miss Silas? Go
get him! Don't just sit here and bitch about your life but do nothing to fix it. DO SOMETHING!” She walks out, leaving me swaying, absorbing what she said as I rush to the toilet and puke my guts out.
Mason finds me barely holding myself up against the wall, trying to make it back to my room. Shaking his head, he puts an arm around my waist, and liftss me. He doesn't say a word; he doesn’t need to. I'm grateful for his help, and his silence. After tucking me into bed, he brushing my hair off my face, “Don't let him break you, Nyx. You are so much stronger than this.”
I shake my head at him. “That's where you’re wrong, Mase. I was broken long before he came along,” raising my wrists to show him just how broken I am. Turning away from him, away from everyone is easier than dealing with my life.
Our final semester is a constant party and everyone is excited, drinking and have fun. Me, I drink so the voices in my head shut up, so my eyes blur to the sight of Asher and every girl on campus. So, I forget all the promises he never made me, I try to turn off my misery and embrace the fun with everyone else.
Tonight, the beat of the music pulsates through me as I walk through the room. Grabbing a drink for myself from the bar I make my way back to the pool table in the corner where Asher is standing awkwardly with Kai and Ianna. He’s never really been embraced by my friends. They’ve seen too much, heard too much to ever really like him, to ever want to see me with him.
Asher takes his drink and kisses my neck sloppily. He is drunk and happy tonight. Laughing, I playfully slap him away.
Ianna, throwing her arms up in the air, announces her favorite song is blasting though the speakers, “That's my jam! Let's dance.” We bounce our way over to the dance floor. Asher and Kai watch us, shaking their heads, smiling.
Letting the music flow through me, waving my arms in the air, my hips moving to the beat. It feels amazing to just let go. After dancing and singing at the top of my lungs, I am in desperate need of a break and a drink. I signal to Ianna that I need water, to which she gives me thumbs up in response. Heading toward the washroom to get freshened up, I feel the need to splash some water on my face; maybe it will sober me up a bit. Tripping on my way, I giggle, trying to compose myself, failing miserably. “You are a drunken mess,” I confess with a smirk.
Opening the door, it takes me a minute to recognize the blonde whore pressed up against the wall mid-orgasm. “Oh, Ash, yes.” The world crumbles at her words. Ash. She sees me, and gasps, “Oh god.”
Asher stills, turning to face me. He steps back from her. The silence is painful. Imari walks past me with a smirk. She touches my elbow and mutters an empty apology I don't hear.
“Get your hands off me, whore,” I demand in a cold hard voice, shooting flames up my arm, burning her. She jumps back with a gasp.
“Don't call me that!” she whines.
“HA!” I laugh, stepping up in her face. “You're banging my boyfriend up against a bathroom wall. You are a whore.” Turning my back on her, I look to Asher.
“Well, I guess I'm the whore he prefers!” she screams at my back. Spinning around, I slap the words off her face before I have time to think of a better come back. She falls back against the wall, holding her cheek, looking wounded. “He doesn't love you! It's going to be him and me as Titans next year, NOT you! He loves me now.” A sob erupts from her and tears roll down her cheeks, over the red mark from my hit.
“That was your first mistake, Imari. Ash doesn’t love anyone,” I reply shaking my head.
“He loves me! You’re just jealous that he prefers every other girl here to you,” she mumbles, walking out the door. Launching myself at her back and we both tumble to the ground just outside the bathroom. People are staring already, but I don’t care. She wants a fight; she is going to get one. Wrapping around her throat, my hand sears her skin with the ever-present flames burning under my skin. She screams, clawing at my hand while I land two punches into her smug whore face before hands are pulling me off her.
“Let go of me!” I scream, struggling against the arms wrapped around me.
She just lays there on the floor in a bloody mess, gasping and grabbing at her throat. Jesus, I really burned her. Flames are still flickering at my fingertips, begging for more. I burned the hands that hold me, too. I'm losing control.
“Enough!” Mason's voice interrupts all my thoughts. He grabs a hold of my arm. “You could have killed her!” He runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “You could be locked up for this. Get out of here NOW!”
He is livid. Crap. My rage slowly fades. Asher pushes his way through the crowd that has gathered, to watch the crazy show. His eyes move from Imari to me, giving me a sad look, pity, and I can't breathe in here anymore.
“I'm okay. I'm fine. Let me go, I'm fine,” reassuring Mason by showing my hands. But he isn't finished with me yet.
“I don't want to see you touch her again. Is that understood? You three keep your personal crap off my campus!”
Seeing red, I scream back at him before I can stop myself, “Tell her to stay away from Asher!” Knowing immediately, it was the worst thing to do.
Mason grabs my arm, instantly a jolt of unimaginable cold attacks my body. I gasp and stumble backward, but his grip keeps me upright. “Go in the bathroom, clean yourself up, and calm down!” he yells so loud my ears ring.
He lets go of my arm, shoving me toward the bathroom. Pushing past everyone I run into the bathroom. Trying to breathe, I’m pacing back and forth when Mason barges in.
“What the hell was that?” he yells at me.
“Who are you to judge me?” I scream right back. If he expects me to back down, he is delusional.
“You need to stop being so reckless. You deserve better than that asshole, Nyx. Please tell me it's finally over, that you will finally walk away.” He speaks with a sad tone. Screw him and his pity.
“Oh, I am so done!” I yell through the closed door. It's true; I have been broken by Asher for the last time. I am so done.
“I hate you, Asher Blaze!” Shaking my head at the mess my life has become. Turning my back on the door, I stare at the wall. Asher just screwed her here, in this room, in this spot; the thought makes me want to throw up.
Mason pushes my hair off my shoulder, his breath sending shock waves through my body. “I've wanted you for so long, Nyx. Let me love you.” His hot breath heats the back of my neck, sending a delicious wave of tingles over my skin, his lips brushing the skin below my ear. “You're so beautiful. I want you, Nyx,” he whispers.
Could I let myself forget in Mason's arms? I want to forget, want to inflict pain on Asher for what he has put me through. Mason wants me, loves me, and has always been there for me when I needed him. I love him and trust him. In the fog of my current state with his lips brushing over my shoulder, it all feels so natural.
I lean back into his solid chest, tilting my head, giving him better access, and loving the feel of his strong body behind me. This isn’t likebefore, letting myself feel instead of think, letting the blissful feeling take away my pain. This is Mase, being with him is so much more than a drunken fling.
Looking up at him, wanting him, needing to be touched by him, to be worshiped, and to be loved. “Make me forget, Mase.”
Barely a whisper is out of me before his lips crush into mine. His rough hands are up my skirt, cupping my ass, pulling me against his hard body. My panties disappear and his fingers slide between my legs, over my bundle of nerves, and I cry out against his lips. I claw at his belt and manage to get his pants down while squirming and writhing under his touch. I need him more than my next breath.
“I want my name on your lips when you come,” he growls. Locking eyes with me.
“Mase,” I whisper.
He grabs a fist full of my hair, “Jake.”
“Jake,” comes out in a groan, feeling the pressure building in me.
“I love the sound of my name on your lips,” he whispers in my ear. I groan when he presses my hand against his hard cock.
“Touch me, Nyx. I want to feel your hands on me.”
I trail my hand down his rock-hard stomach, under the elastic of his boxers, and find him waiting for me. Hot, hard, and ready. I can't help the moan that escapes me when I feel how big he is. My mouth waters.
“I want you,” I whisper against his lips.
“You have me,” he groans. Dropping to my knees, I take him in my mouth, licking the tip before taking him deep. “Oh, yes,” he whispers, grabbing me by my hair with two fists, pushing himself deeper. Moaning around his hard cock, I work him faster. “I love the feel of your mouth, but I can’t wait any longer. I need to be in you,” he growls.
His fists still in my hair, he pulls me up to standing and kisses me deeply, possessing me. His hands graze my back and cup my ass, lifting me. Wrapping my legs around him, I am slammed into the wall. He pushes into me fast and hard, I scream out at the feeling of him so deep inside me.
He’s not gentle, doesn't pause, and doesn’t check if I'm all right. He knows I don't want him to be gentle. He pounds me hard and fast until the whole miserable world disappears and nothing is left but us.
“Jake, don’t stop.” I wrap myself tighter around him, digging my nails into his back.
“Come with me, baby.” He pounds into me over and over until my body gives out and an orgasm shatters through me. His body goes ridged as he screams his release, “Nyx!”
We cling to each other, our breath ragged, our energy spent. He looks down at me with hooded eyes, running his hands over my sex hair and kisses me sweetly on the lips. Righting my dress, he reaches for my panties, giving them to me with a crooked smirk.
We still haven't spoken, still in shock from what just happened. I can’t believe it, I had sex with Mason, and I loved it. I feel like what we just did changed everything. Someone banging on the bathroom door snaps us out of our silence.
“Nyx! Open the door,” Asher's voice booms through the door.
Phoenyx Rising (Demigods Duet Book 1) Page 13