Picture Perfect Murder (Ryli Sinclair 1)

by Jenna St James

  Aunt Shirley whooped with excitement in the front seat, while Paige and Mindy huddled close together in the back. That image almost had me slowing down, unsure of whether or not we should move ahead without Garrett...but then I remembered how he laughed at the thought of us solving the crime, and I pressed down harder on the gas pedal.

  Four miles out of town I came to the blacktop road that would take us where we were going. The house was only a half mile off the blacktop. A few seconds later, I turned right and drove up the long driveway. I couldn’t help but marvel at the adorable mailbox. Instead of a standard black box on a brown wooden pole, she had added white chevron decals to the black mailbox. Then she’d painted the pole neon pink. Pulling up into the long driveway that curved slightly to the left near her front porch, we could see Patty's beat-up Bronco.

  I shut off the car and looked around. I watched as Aunt Shirley manually rolled down her window. Grinning wickedly at me she said, “I probably shouldn’t have had the oat muffins for breakfast.”

  We scattered like roaches out of the smelly car, bitching at Aunt Shirley the whole time.

  Patty lived on five acres east of town. I'd say her nearest neighbor was two miles away. There were a few trees along the front and sides of her house, with a more wooded area around back.

  Patty had gotten the house in her divorce settlement years ago when she'd caught her husband, Warren, sleeping with her best friend, Margo. It was quite the small-town scandal...especially when Margo got drunk one night and announced to everyone within hearing distance down at the bar that she'd had sex with Warren in every room of the house and Patty would have to live with it.

  I guess she had lived with it, because Patty still lived in the small, two-story house she once shared with her husband, while Warren and Margo lived over in Brywood. I wonder when the last time someone had checked on those two? If Patty had gone off the deep end killing Dr. Garver and Iris, what was keeping her from taking out all the people she hated?

  Aunt Shirley led the way up the stairs, with the three of us following her lead. She knocked on the door.

  No answer.

  She rang the doorbell.

  No answer.

  "Maybe she's not here," Mindy whispered behind me.

  I was about to agree with her when a sudden clanging sound came from the back of the house. Pushing us down the stairs, Aunt Shirley rushed around the back of the house so quickly, her polyester pants practically burst into flames.

  Running to catch up, the three of us sprinted after her. I suddenly wondered if this was such a good idea anymore.

  Aunt Shirley paused at the door of the tiny greenhouse. This close, we could hear sounds coming from inside. Reaching into the back of her pants, Aunt Shirley whipped out a brown-handled, snub-nose revolver that looked older than me.

  The three of us started screaming.

  "Who's out there?" Patty shouted.

  "Now look what you did," hissed Aunt Shirley, as though pulling a weapon out of her butt is something we see every day.

  Patty pushed open the greenhouse screen door, practically hitting Aunt Shirley in the face, and then stared right into the tiny barrel of the gun.

  "What the hell?" Patty shouted, scrambling backward to get away.

  "Don't move a muscle, scumbag," my aunt demanded, sounding like a wanna-be Clint Eastwood.

  "Well, now…this is gonna be bad," Paige said.

  "What the hell do you think you're doing on my property? And pointing a gun at me no less."

  "We'll be asking the questions from now on," my aunt said, waving the gun around like a madwoman.

  "For the love, Aunt Shirley, stop doing that or you'll shoot someone!" I cried out in panic.

  Giving me a scowl, Aunt Shirley lowered the gun a few inches. "Let's go, you crazy broad. You got some confessing to do."

  Before anyone could say anything, Patty whirled and took off for the back of her greenhouse. Without missing a beat, Aunt Shirley picked up a terracotta pot that was nearby and hurled it toward the back of Patty's head.

  Patty went down like a sack of potatoes.

  Without a word to us, Aunt Shirley started gathering a rope along the side of the wall. I looked over at Paige and Mindy, too frightened to move.

  "Get over here and give me a hand, you ninnies. I can't do all this on my own."

  Kicking myself for thinking I could trust Aunt Shirley to do anything calmly, I helped her tie up Patty's hands and then sat her on the bar stool next to a long counter. Paige and Mindy stood huddled together.

  Slapping Patty in the face, Aunt Shirley waited for her to wake up. We didn't have long to wait. A few seconds later Patty was groaning softly.

  "Open your eyes, murderer," my aunt taunted.

  I wasn't quite sure she should be grabbing the bull by the horns, but this was my first interrogation, so what did I know?

  "What did you four crazy bitches do to me?" Patty said, trying to wiggle out of the ropes.

  "Stop moving," my aunt demanded. "I said we'd be asking the questions from here on out."

  "What questions? What're you talking about?"

  My aunt held up her hand and Patty shut up. "Now, all we want you to do is confess and tell us why you did it."

  Patty's wrinkled her brow. "Confess to what? What're you talking about?

  "Don't play dumb, it's not a good look for you," my aunt hissed.

  I heard Mindy chuckle.

  Patty scowled at Mindy, as if trying to place her. Suddenly Patty threw back her head and howled with laughter.

  "Oh, my God. You four have to be the dumbest broads on the face of the planet!" she laughed. "Your dumb asses are going to be in so much trouble when I get out of here and call the Chief."

  Faking a bravado I didn't feel, I said, "You're the one that's in trouble, Patty. Not only did you poison my cat, for which I'm going to totally go ballistic on you for, but you murdered Dr. Garver and Iris, too."

  I watched as a dark shadow fell over her face. "Yes, I hated them. Yes, I wished they'd die a slow painful death." I could feel my heart beating faster. We had her!

  "But I didn't kill them. In fact, I just got back from an interview with Chief Kimble about fifteen minutes ago." My heart stopped at that proclamation.

  Oh, crap, what had we done?

  "What do you mean?" my aunt demanded.

  "I mean, Chief Kimble had me come into the office earlier this morning to interview me. He asked me where I was the night both Iris and Dr. Garver were killed, and I told him. I also told him that I hated them both, but didn't kill them. Yes, I have a greenhouse, but I never planted poisonous flowers, and he was more than welcome to come out to my place and see for himself. And as far as the ketamine went, what little we have at the hospital has to be accounted for, as he well knows. I'm assuming he believed me and had already checked with the hospital, because he didn't ask me anything else."

  I'd listened to her rambling at first with hope of catching her in a lie...now I was downright fearful. I knew she was telling the truth. We had pretty much kidnapped and held a woman against her will, accosted her, then accused her of murder. And we'd been wrong.

  I'd been wrong.

  I'd been wrong, and I led my friends into a shitload of trouble. We'd be lucky if we didn't all go to jail for a very, very long time.

  I could feel myself panicking and looked over at Aunt Shirley for help. The way she was gnawing on her lip didn't boost my confidence any. I was afraid to turn around and look at Paige and Mindy. I knew they were probably scared out of their minds.

  Patty's taunting laughter snapped me out of my stupor. I opened my mouth to grovel, to beg her not to call Garrett...I'd do anything!

  "I'm not so sure I'd be that quick to call Chief Kimble," my aunt said.

  "Why’s that?" Patty demanded.

  "I mean," Aunt Shirley said, "I know marijuana plants when I see them. I'm thinking maybe we came out here hoping to talk with you, and next thing we know you are pulling a gun on us
, and in order to defend ourselves we have to jump you. Then imagine our shock when we see you have marijuana plants all over. Well, being the upstanding citizens we are, we have no choice but to call the police. And maybe the paper while we're at it. Oh wait," my aunt said, smacking her forehead, feigning surprise, "we have the press right here!"

  I heard clicking sounds behind me and turned to see Mindy grinning at me as she took pictures of the plants with her cell phone.

  I practically sobbed with relief. Maybe my impulsive shenanigans wouldn't send my best friends up the river until our golden years!

  "So how about this," Aunt Shirley continued, "I untie you, we go on our merry way, and none of us ever mention this little incident ever again? And these pictures never get printed."

  Patty stared at my aunt for a full ten seconds. "Untie me, then get off my property and never come back."

  I ran over to where Patty was sitting and started untying her. "I'm sorry," I whispered, hearing my voice catch. "I'm sorry I thought it was you."

  She said nothing, staring at me with hate-filled eyes. I quickly finished the deed, then pushed Aunt Shirley and the others toward the door.

  "Hey, Ryli." I turned around and saw Patty reaching under the counter. "You're gonna wanna go a little faster than that."

  Click-click!

  I heard the chambering of the round before I saw the sawed-off shotgun being hoisted over the counter and aimed right at us.

  Screaming, we all took off running, pushing each other out the door as Patty started hurling insults our way. I heard the door bang shut behind me and watched as Aunt Shirley and the girls ran full tilt toward the Falcon.

  Paige reached the car first. Flinging open the backseat door, she hurled her heaving body inside. The impact had her bouncing around in the back like a pinball. Mindy followed her lead, and the two of them ended up in a dangled heap on the floorboard.

  I could hear the screaming and yelling all around me, but it seemed to be happening in slow motion.

  I heard the greenhouse screen door fling open and hit the side of the house. There was definitely some anger and momentum behind that shove. I dug into my pockets and pulled out the car keys.

  I watched in amazement as Aunt Shirley leapt into the air and dove headfirst into the passenger-side window. Not to be outdone, I did my Dukes of Hazzard slide over the front hood of the Falcon.

  I'd barely caught myself from falling on my ass when I heard a loud thud! overhead. Feeling bark hit my face, I raised my arms to shield my body.

  Crawling the last few feet to the driver’s side door, I felt an explosion of pain.

  "Shit," I screamed, rubbing my forehead. Aunt Shirley had shoved the Falcon’s heavy door open and smacked me in the forehead.

  "Get in, get in!" my aunt screeched.

  Crouching low, I duck walked around the massive door and slid into the driver's side, closing the door. My aunt and I were pretty much nose to nose with each other, panting heavily.

  "Don't go getting blood on my white leather seats," she said.

  "Nice swan dive for an old lady," I countered.

  I put the key in the ignition and started the car. One a silent count of three, Aunt Shirley and I popped up into our bucket seats. I shoved the gearshift down in reverse and peeled out behind me.

  I happened to make eye contact with Patty. Pushing down even harder on the gas pedal, I glanced in my rear-view mirror. I wanted to make sure no one was coming down the road, since Paige and Mindy couldn't tell me. They were still screaming in the backseat.

  Seeing no one coming, I veered to my left, hoping to make a wide enough arc I could just throw it in park and haul ass out of there.

  Crunch!

  I didn't see the mailbox until it was too late. I'm pretty sure it was a total annihilation by the look of horror on Patty's face.

  I yanked the shifter down and shot off like a bat out of hell, wheels squealing. I looked in the rear-view mirror one last time and saw Patty lower the shotgun and flip me the bird.

  Note to self...the next time you go somewhere where you might have to haul ass, park with your hood facing the road.

  "Damn fine driving, girl!" my aunt exclaimed as she hit me in the arm. "Damn fine."

  I looked down at my hands and saw they were shaking, just like the rest of me I assumed. When I knew I was far enough away, I pulled the Falcon over to the side of the road and put it in park.

  I turned and looked in the backseat. I'm not sure when they decided to pop up from the floorboard, but now Paige and Mindy were high-fiving each other and laughing. Like the last ten minutes had never happened.

  Tears stung my eyes. I couldn’t believe I'd almost killed us all with my stupidity. Where on Earth did I get an idea I could solve a murder?

  Paige looked at Mindy and the two started giggling. Aunt Shirley joined in with her cackle. Pretty soon the three of them were wiping tears from their eyes and holding their sides.

  "Are y'all crazy? I about killed us and all you can do is laugh?"

  "Yes," Paige said breathing deeply, "because that had to be the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. I can't believe Patty Carter pulled a shotgun on us!"

  "Well, speak for yourself," Aunt Shirley said, patting her hair in place. "I've had tons of excitement in my day. Although I must admit, it’s been a while since I dove headfirst into a car window." She rubbed her right shoulder and laughed some more.

  I closed my eyes, and admitting defeat joined in on the laughter. I guess what they say is true...if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

  "I've had enough excitement for the day," Mindy said. "I think I'll just keep my happy hiney at the office from now on."

  I put the car in drive and headed back to town. I dropped Mindy off at the office with a promise not to tell Hank what we had done. I didn't want to get fired for almost killing his wife.

  "What now?" Paige asked.

  "Now," I said, "we just go home. Let the professionals handle this."

  "We are the –"

  "No, we aren't, Aunt Shirley," I said emphatically.

  "Let's just take it slow,” Paige said. “I need to finish up some things for my mom and dad out on the farm, so why don't you take me home."

  "And you can take me back to the prison. I want to look over my notes. Obviously we've missed something."

  "Ya think?" I asked snarkily. I know it was beneath me, but I couldn't help it...especially since it had been my idea. I needed a nap and a drink. And not necessarily in that order, either.

  After dropping everyone off, I drove the Falcon back to my house and parked it in the driveway. I was really surprised Aunt Shirley hadn't skinned me alive when I hit the mailbox with her precious Falcon.

  I got out and walked around to the trunk. Not a dent. I ran my hands over the fender just to be sure. Nope...this thing was like a tank.

  Opening the front door, it took me a minute to realize something was wrong. Miss Molly didn't come out and greet me. The weight of the day engulfed me. I wrapped my arms around myself and started to sob. Walking to my bedroom, I emptied out my pockets, put my cell phone on the nightstand, slid into bed, and cried myself to sleep.

  Chapter 13

  The ringing of my cell phone woke me. Snatching it up, I didn't recognize the number.

  "Hello?" I said, clearing my throat. Even I could tell I'd been asleep.

  "Ryli, honey, this is Sister Williams. How are you?"

  Sister Williams? My preacher's wife? My mind was still a little groggy.

  "Fine. What's going on? Is everything okay?" I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she was calling.

  "Oh, yes, everything is fine. Your mother just left here. We're setting up for the carnival this afternoon, you know." She said the last part as though I had completely let her down by not showing up.

  How long had I been asleep? I looked over at my alarm clock and saw it was now after four o'clock. I think I said I'd be there around two or three to help set up.

&nbs
p; "I'm sorry, it's just been a long day."

  "Tsk-tsk," Sharon said, clucking her tongue. "You poor thing, I know all about it. Your mother told us all about Miss Molly and how someone tried to poison her. Why, none of us here can believe it."

  Thankful for the sympathy, I let myself indulge a little in the pity party. I knew it was silly. Molls was coming home soon...but I couldn’t help it.

  "The reason I'm calling is because I have something for you, and for Miss Molly. I discussed it with the ladies at the church, and we believe we have just the thing to cheer you up. They are waiting downstairs in the basement, do you think you could come over real quick?"

  No, I don't think I can.

  But I knew if word got back to my mom that I told the church ladies I didn't want a gift, she'd probably turn me over her knee. She's always trying to get me to be more lady-like and genteel.

  Sighing, I instead said, "Of course, I'll be right there."

  "Oh, thank you, Ryli. Just come through the basement. We'll see you in a bit."

  Hoping to get this over with as quick as possible, I didn't even bother changing my clothes. I just dropped my cell phone into my pocket and whispered goodbye to Miss Molly.

  * * *

  There were only five other cars in the lot when I got there. I parked in my normal reserved parking so I could enter into the multi-purpose room downstairs. Not that I was ungrateful for the thoughtful gift, but I was hoping to get in and get out.

  The normal core group of old ladies was just inside the doorway. A pang of nostalgia hit me when I entered the basement. The room looked amazing. The church had been putting on the festival for over twenty years. It was the same thing every year, the booths in the same spot, but that’s what made it so special—the familiarity.

  I wasn’t sure how much longer the older church ladies could continue keeping up the laborious work before they finally gave out. I knew soon the reins would have to be turned over to the younger generation.

  There were probably twenty booths set up ready to go. They were mostly different types of ring toss games, a space for the cake walk, a miniature bowling area, and even face painting. My favorite booth was the baseball toss. I loved the old-time feel of it. The backdrop had a red and white checkerboard print, with old-fashioned wooden milk bottles. The baseballs were white with red stitching. Currently the balls were resting in shallow, wooden apple-picking baskets.