by A. E. Murphy
“Great.” I rush from the room again and bash my head against the fridge a few times.
It’s when I’ve served pudding and I’m sat down that my phone starts going off. Won’t life ever give me a break?
Eric: Hey sweet, are you okay?
Gwen: I’m fine, are you okay?
“This is gorgeous.” My mum comments, dipping her spoon into the small chocolate filled glass.
“Definitely.” Nathan adds with a smile. “Your phone is flashing.”
“Oh.” I pick it up off my thigh and read his message.
Eric: I’m good :-) Are you sure we can’t do something?
Most definitely not.
Gwen: Sorry :-(
“Who’s that?” Mum asks; she’s where I got my curiosity from.
“Umm… it’s Sasha.” Why am I lying?
“Huh.” She shrugs and looks back at the TV. My eyes zoom in on Nathan, who is cringing over another sip of his tea.
“You don’t have to drink it.” I laugh and stand, taking the cup from him. “Mum, next time don’t offer to make tea when you know the person who’s accepting is too polite to decline and has never tasted your version of tea.”
She harrumphs in response and sticks her tongue out at me.
“It’s fine.” Nathan blanches. I’ve made him feel uncomfortable now. “I was enjoying that.”
“Nobody enjoys Mum’s tea. It’s okay. I’ll make you another.” I give him a wink and saunter from the room, cup in hand.
“Well, I like my tea.” I hear Mum mutter and smile in the dark.
Eric: That’s okay, I understand. Your boy comes first. Speaking of which… when do I get to meet him?
Good question.
Gwen: Soon. What are you doing?
Eric: Crying over a lack of carbonara whilst eating a microwaveable spaghetti ready meal that I’m certain has more plastic than edible ingredients.
Giggle.
Gwen: Cook something then!
Eric: No…
Gwen: Why not?
Eric: Because…
Sigh. Yet I’m smiling.
Gwen: Because…?
Eric: I want carbonara and chocolate shots.
Gwen: I’ll make it again for next time.
Eric: But I want it now.
Gwen: Stop being petulant. :-P Text you later xx
Eric: K :-(
“Here.” I hand Nathan his tea and sit beside my mum on the couch. He winks at me and rests his lips against the dark fuzz on Dillan’s head, his eyes on the TV.
“Well, I’m going to retire to my room.” Mum announces around a yawn and stands abruptly. She grabs the tray and her empty cup and leaves the room, only calling goodnight before her footsteps can be heard on the stairs.
Nathan looks at me, almost expectantly.
My eyebrows rise of their own accord. If I had fur, it would be sticking up defensively. “What?”
He grins, a mischievous smile that really suits him, before looking away at the TV. “Nothing.”
I take this moment to make my bed on the couch as he carefully places Dillan back in his swinging chair. He joins me, smoothing the sheet over the seat cushions at the bottom end whilst I handle the top.
“Movies and blankets.” He nods thoughtfully. Sounds like a good night.
“I’m going to get ready for bed.” If we’re watching a movie downstairs, I want to be comfortable.
After pulling on my favourite peach coloured, satin nightgown and pulling my hair from the bun atop my head, I pad downstairs and snuggle under the blanket on the couch. Nathan joins me, sitting only a few inches away. Curling my legs beneath me, I rest my elbow on the arm of the couch and my cheek on my fist.
“What are we watching?” I ask, glancing at my son who’s sleeping in his swinging chair, his mouth suckling at nothing but air every few seconds.
“I’m not sure. How do I get to movie channels on this TV?” He frowns in concentration, pressing numerous buttons on the remote control but coming up with nothing but menu options.
I laugh and snatch it from him. “We don’t have movie channels. Dork. We have Freeview.”
“Oh.” He licks his lower lip. “Shall I go to the shop and rent something?”
“No.” I shake my head, still smiling, and search through my mum’s recorded shows and movies. “We’ll watch this.”
Nathan settles back into the couch and looks at me. “Really?”
“Nothing wrong with ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’.”
“I can think of many things wrong with this movie.”
“Oh stop moaning.” I giggle and nudge his thigh with my foot. He rolls his eyes and shifts closer to me. After another moment he does it again. I eye him curiously through my lashes. Another few minutes pass and he moves again, his thigh now against my foot and rear. “Are you going to yawn, stretch and put your arm around me too?”
“Huh?” He looks genuinely perplexed. Does he think I’m stupid and wouldn’t notice him shuffling closer? Or does he genuinely not realise what he’s done?
Anyway… the movie has started.
“So, tell me what I’ve missed. We haven’t really had a chance to speak properly.” Nathan interjects, destroying the peaceful silence between us. Not that I mind.
“Not much to tell. I got a job, which is tiring but I love it; I made new friends in my co-workers and seem to have lost my old friends.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be.” I wave him off, ignoring the sour taste in my mouth that lingers after thinking about Sasha and Tommy. “Are you hungry?”
“Not really. I’ll be surprised if you’re not. You hardly touched your food.”
I give him a pointed look, “I lose my appetite when stressed.”
“I’m assuming you’d like me to apologise?”
“Only if you mean it.”
He gives a nod, his lower lip pouting slightly as he thinks. “Okay then.”
After he looks back to the TV, I wait for his apology. Then I wait some more. And more. “Ahem.”
“Yeah?” Blinking, he turns back to me, his face wearing a secret smile.
“My apology?”
“What for?”
Grr. “For…” Good point, why was I angry again? “For stressing me out.”
“My reasons were legitimate. Your arguments were nothing more than defensive and completely ridiculous.”
He didn’t. Oh… but he did. “You arse.”
“See? Defensive and ridiculous.” Oh, he looks so proud of himself right now.
“I’m not biting. I’m going to sit here and watch this movie in silence. If you need me, I’m not interested.” I sit up straight, my feet now on the ground. This movement forces us to separate a few inches. He instantly shuffles closer, a smirk on his face. I move into the corner, but he follows. Now I’m squished.
Letting out a loud sigh, I slap my hands on top of the blanket before folding my arms over my chest and glaring at the TV. Stupid male jerk.
“Problem?” He moves even closer. Any more and he’ll be on my lap, or I will be on his. “You seem uncomfortable.”
I blank him, keeping my eyes pointed ahead, pretending I’m watching the movie when I’m not. I’m too busy trying to ignore his hand, which is now on my thigh beneath the blanket, his fingers trailing lazy circles along the bare skin. My breath hitches when his hand moves up a few inches, only a short distance from my core. No doubt he can feel the heat on the side of his pinkie finger and palm. It remains there, still trailing lazy circles.
Like the whore that I am, a shiver runs through me and my legs twitch, eager to separate further, hoping to feel his hands on me there. I clamp them shut, my heart hammering and my breaths shortening with each intake.
“Problem?” He whispers directly into my ear. I shudder at the feel of his breath touching the shell. A riot of blissful cells attack my spine as they fight their way to my entrance. When they settle in my stomach, I bite my lip and
close my eyes.
Forcing my eyes open, they widen instantly when I see how close Nathan actually is. His face is an inch from mine. Leaning closer, he runs his nose along the side of mine and brushes his bottom lip ever so lightly against my top one.
This is wrong. What’s he doing? What am I doing?
His hand slides up and up finally his pinkie finger rests against the soft fabric of my lady boxers. “Oh god.” I breathe when he puts pressure there, almost cupping me but not quite. My head falls back and my legs part. Nathan’s free hand cups my cheek; my hand grabs it at the wrist and my eyes come to his. He waits for a moment, scanning my face for my reaction.
Stop it! Get away! This isn’t right!
But my head moves forward until our lips only gently skim each other. His breathing quickens and he shifts in his seat, getting a better angle. He swaps his hands, the one between my legs now gripping the back of my neck and the one that was holding my cheek is now holding my heated mound, which is almost unbearably wet.
I’m such a slut.
Heated eyes hold mine as we both go to kiss each other but never quite make it, our mouths teasing the other with skims and light touches. I sit up straighter, my hand gripping the top of his shirt. He smiles slightly, triumph clear in his eyes. I don’t care. I feel warm. Too warm. And desperate. So very desperate to be filled, to be held, to be touched.
“Forgot my charger.” And the moment’s lost.
Nathan shoots to the other end of the couch, his stance casual as my mum enters the room. I blink out of my daze, sitting ramrod straight and looking anything but casual. Mum quickly grabs her charger. She gives me a look and I know she’s seen a lot. Too much in fact.
I look away, feeling like a teenager again. “Goodnight.” she calls and vanishes into the dark hallway.
Letting out a breath, I look at Nathan when I feel his eyes on me. He holds out a hand, the top side flat on his lap, inviting me to go to him once more.
I shake my head and stand. “I should get Dillan to bed. It’s late.”
Nathan sighs, his disappointment clear, “Okay Guinevere.”
Taking my son, I do just that, going slow with every single step that getting Dillan ready for bed requires, from his nappy to his pyjamas.
When I go back downstairs, Nathan is in flannel pyjama bottoms and a white vest. He’s also fast asleep on his front on the couch. I pull the quilt to his shoulders and run my fingers through his longish hair. When he sighs in his sleep, I leave him alone and retire to my bedroom.
What the hell did I just do? If my mum hadn’t come in… I dread to think.
It takes me a while to fall asleep as is expected. Once my brain has finished over analysing every small detail regarding Nathan, without getting any answers as per usual, it finally allows me the rest I need.
An hour later Dillan wakes up. I feed him and fall instantly back to sleep but, when I do, warmth hits my back. I’m too far gone into the land of slumber to question who, why, how and what is behind me.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“We need to talk.” Mum snaps after I see Nathan to the door.
“Not now.” I grumble and place my coffee in the microwave. This morning hasn’t been a good one. It didn’t help that I woke up sprawled all over Nathan, who seemed to be watching me whilst I slept, his fingers combing through my hair.
Yep, that didn’t go down too well. Not with me, but with my mum, who caught Nathan in bed with me and has obviously assumed the worst.
I got up, got dressed and fed Dillan as Nathan got dressed and apologised to my mum without explanation. He had to leave for his meeting. I didn’t utter a word to him before he left, even though he tried talking to me. Instead he followed me to the door, kissed my forehead and muttered goodbye, to which I grunted in response.
My mum, after slamming my bedroom door without saying a word, stomped downstairs and into the kitchen. Now I’ve got to deal with her and I don’t want to.
“Have you stopped seeing Eric?” She snaps, her hands on her hips and her eyes angry. “Because last I checked you were both still dating?”
Oh god. “I know, Mum.”
“What are you thinking?” She sighs, clearly exasperated. “You need to choose and you need to choose today, before things get serious!”
“Choose? There’s no choice! I don’t want Nathan like that!” I hear the words leave my mouth, but I don’t feel them. Oh god. “It’s wrong; he’s Caleb’s brother.”
“I know that, but I don’t think it’s wrong. I think you both…”
“Mum!” I squeal, jumping back a step in shock. “It’s even worse than if Caleb and I had broken up and I jumped into bed with his brother. It’s sick and it’s wrong.”
“Then you need to make that clear to Nathan.”
“I will.”
“When?”
When? Damn. “I don’t know. Today?”
“Good. Because if he asks, I won’t lie for you and Nathan isn’t stupid. He’ll figure it out eventually.” She walks over to me and places Dillan in my arms. “I love you very much, you’re my little girl, but you’re being very, very stupid. Eric is nice, but I think your heart lies somewhere else.”
“Yes, with my ‘should be’ husband’s ashes.” I mutter, taking my coffee from the microwave. Great, it’s cold again.
“Now you’re lying to yourself.”
“Eric is fun, he’s handsome and he’s not related to Dillan’s father. He’s easy and uncomplicated. That’s what I need.”
“No, that’s what you think you need.” Are my mum’s parting words before she grabs her bag off the breakfast bar and leaves the room. I hear the front door close, but not before she calls, “Choose. Before it’s too late and one of them chooses for you.”
“I don’t want your uncle.” I say to Dillan, who looks up at me with smiling eyes. “Seriously. I don’t.”
Do I?
“Let’s get you dressed chubby bubby. I’ve got things to do and you’re coming with me.” I kiss his open mouth, laughing when he wobbles his head in an attempt to suckle at my lips.
******
I glare at him, my anger apparent. “I can’t believe you snuck into my bed in the middle of the night!”
“The couch wasn’t comfortable. I couldn’t sleep. Besides, it isn’t like we haven’t shared a bed before.” He looks around the room and shakes his head. “This isn’t it.”
Nathan and I are currently looking at a few houses in town. This is house number one and he hates it. Not that I blame him; it stinks of damp and needs a lot of work. Although it has potential, Nathan wants somewhere he can just move into and soon.
He called me as I was strolling through the supermarket, Dillan strapped to my chest, filling my trolley with a week’s worth of shopping, and asked me to attend these viewings. I agreed, mostly because I need to speak with him about last night, but also because I need to put a stop on our relationship, whatever that may be. The lines are very blurred.
“Whatever, look.” I rub my eyes and follow him and the estate agent out of the door. My voice is low so the nosy arsehole who seems to glance at my breasts every few seconds doesn’t hear what we’re saying. “I don’t want to address that right now.”
“Hmm.”
“Are you listening?”
“Are you going to tell me something I want to hear?”
Blink. “I’m going to speak what’s on my mind.”
“Not what I want to hear then.” He mutters, his lips twitching at the corners.
“No, but it needs to be said.”
“Later.”
“But…”
He gives me a stern look and nods in the direction of the nosy estate agent. “Later.”
“Kay.” I grumble and allow him to take my hand.
We climb into the car after strapping a snoozing Dillan in and follow the agent to the next location. It’s not too far from my mum’s, only a ten minute walk. No doubt the garden leads onto the beach. The houses down here are
quite large, all three storey, and all have fairly long driveways, shrouded by huge fern trees.
“Can you afford one of these?” I ask as we follow the red car down a driveway on the right.
Nathan doesn’t answer. He does, however, stop the car and climb out, grab Dillan’s car seat from the back, walk to my side and help me out, before literally dragging me into the house. I wish he’d stop dragging me places; it’s extremely irritating.
For good measure, I kick his calf. Only gently, though, as I don’t want him to fall with Dillan in his hand.
He only looks at me over his shoulder and smiles wickedly, his teeth showing through the slight gap in his lips.
“I don’t know why you’re so proud of yourself.” I mutter, still allowing him to drag me.
We enter the huge kitchen, large windows light the space, reflecting brilliantly off the light surfaces.
“Because even though you act annoyed at my dragging you around, you never protest much.”
Cocky shit.
He’s also correct. Damn him.
“What do you think?” He asks, the agent giving us space to look around. We head through to the dining room, which is big enough to fit a six seated table and not much else, or a four seated table and maybe a glass cabinet if you’re into that sort of thing. The living room is as large as the kitchen and has a huge bay window that’s padded on the base, obviously a good place to sit and read.
“It’s very big.” I comment as we wander up the stairs, and yes, I’m still being dragged.
“Four bedrooms and a study, which could be a fifth bedroom.” The agent points out, smiling broadly, obviously thinking he’s got a sale. He’s also looking at my boobs again.
Nathan’s body tenses when he notices. The agent fortunately turns and leads us into the master bedroom, which is at the back of the house. “If he looks at your chest one more time I’m…”